(Setting-Jerry's Apartment)
Jerry3,7,16,5,8,22!
I won! I won the New York Lottery!
(Apartment buzzer goes off, Jerry; a little jumpy from excitement sees whom it is)
ElaineIt's me
(Jerry Buzzes her in)
Jerry
I have to call my friends, my family, wow! I have 5 million dollars!
(Elaine enters)
Jerry
You will not believe this
Elaine:
What?
Jerry:
I won the New York Lottery; you are looking at a multi-millionaire
Elaine
Get out! (Pushes jerry into the wall)
Jerry
You got to stop doing that, you're going to hurt someone one day
Elaine:
Ya and you'll be the one to pay for their medical bill (chuckles at the thought)
Jerry
No you are.
Elaine:
So what are you going to do with all that money, I mean you have enough already. I should've been the one to win the lottery.
Jerry
I don't really know, I'd share of course, maybe go on a vacation. I really don't know.
Right now I'm just mesmerized at the thought.
Elaine:
How much sharing are you going to do?
Jerry
I see dollar signs in your eyes
Elaine
Hey, you're the one who said that you'll share.
(Kramer enters)
Elaine
Guess who just one the New York lottery?
Kramer
Who
Elaine
You're looking at him
Kramer
You won the lottery? I didn't even no you buy tickets.
Jerry
I was feeling lucky so I gave it a shot.
Kramer:
How much? 250k?
Jerry
No, more like 5 million.
Kramer
Wowza!(Drops a glass)
Jerry
Oh, look what you've done.
Kramer
You can afford to buy a new one.
(Scene ends)
Setting-Monks
(Jerry has just told George that he won the lottery)
George
Are you kidding around with me?I don't like jokes about these things.
Jerry
No I really one the lottery
George
Wow I can't believe this
Jerry
I know
George
You're a millionaire!
Jerry
I know
George
I'm the unemployed guy; I should be the one winning lottery ticket.
Jerry
I'll share
George
How much?
Jerry
Why does everyone ask me that? You should be happy for me, not trying to get as much of it as you can.
George
I'm money hungry,I have nothing to do with it but I want it..it's a craving to be rich and powerful,to be looked up to instead of down.
Waitress
What would you like to order?
Jerry
The usual
George:
Same as him
Waitress leaves
George
What was that? You ask me to come here and tell me you won the lottery, then u go and order the usual!
Jerry
(Puzzled) and……..
George
You're a millionaire now! Order something more… Expensive,better yet,tell me in a more exspensive restaurant..fine dining,we can do that more often now.
Jerry
You mean I can fine dine more often now,plus I haven't cashed in the ticket; I'm not a millionaire yet.
George
What are you waiting for? Cash it in!
Jerry
No, I want to make sure I won; I don't want to make a fool of myself.
George
Well if you didn't want to make a fool of yourself you would have double-checked before you went and told everyone!
Jerry
I blurted it out when Elaine came in, you would've found out before I double-checked anyways.
George
You have the ticket on you?
Waitress comes with food
Jerry
Thanks
George
Thanks
Jerry
No, I don't have it on me.
George
Well where is it?
Jerry
You really think I'm going to tell you?
Scene ends
Setting-Monks
Kramer
How much do you think he'll give us?
George
No clue.
Kramer
Hmm..A fair amount I guess.
George
I went to the local convinience store today, to buy a ticket; you know if jerry can win then I can too right? So I ask the cashier guy to get me a ticket and he refuses! Who is he to judge whether I buy a ticket or not?
Kramer
I bet he's money hungry, doesn't want anyone to have a chance at winning the lottery cause he wants to.
George
That's crazy.
Kramer
Ya(does his famous hand gesture)
Scene ends
Setting-Jerry's Apartment
Jerry
3,7,16,5,8,22,yup those are the winning numbers.
Elaine
You still unsure of what you're going to buy?and what your going to share?
Jerry
Actually I'm thinking of buying every single Superman comic ever made and a lifetime's supply of every kind of cereal.
Elaine
What a waste
Jerry
Hey it's my money; you can do what you want with your share
Elaine
Which is?
Jerry
Well I've got to figure it out. I have 5 million; I'd at least like 2 million for myself. I'll give 1 million to my parents, that is if they take it. Now I've got 4 million. Ok, uh..500 grand to uncle Leo, that's 3,500,000 left. Hmm..Ok then,500 thousand to you, Kramer and George. I have 2 million left (checks his calculator) yup 2 million left,perfecto!
Elaine
500,000 dollars, wow!
Jerry
I ought to call my parents.
(jerry picks up the phone and dials the number)
Morty
Hello?
Jerry'
Dad,hi.you will never believe this
Morty
What?
Jerry
I won the new york lottery!
Morty
Your kidding?
Jerry
Why would I call you about this if I were kidding?
Morty
How much money?
Jerry
5 million
morty
holy cow
Helen get over hear,our son is a millionaire!
Helen
What?
Morty
Jerry won the lottery!
Helen
He did?let me talk to him!
Jerry?
Jerry
Mom I won the lottery
Helen
Are you kidding?
Jerry
Wow nobody believes me
Helen
How much?
Jerry
5 million
Helen
Are you sure about this because we don't want to be finding out it's a false alarm.
Jerry
I'm sure I just double-checked the numbers.
Helen
Who knew it my son a millionaire!you should give some to charity you don't need the money as much as they do.
Jerry
Ya I'll give them a bit,but I thought you might want to know that I'm giving you guys 1 million!
Helen
Don't we don't need the money
Morty
How much is he giving?
Helen
A million
Morty
What the hell is your problem!take it!
Helen
Jerry how about giving us 100 thousand,that seems more reasonable.
Morty
I want a million!
Jerry
Mom take the million,I have 5!
Helen
Are you sure?
Jerry
Of course I'm sure
Helen
Alright thankyou son! We're coming to new york to visit,since we have the extra money.
Jerry
Ok let me know your flight details when you get them.Bye
Elaine
They took it?
Jerry
Yup,(with a grin)now we have to cash it in.
Scene Ends
(Setting- Local convenience store,2 days later.)
Cashier-This is not a winning ticket.
Jerry
What are you talking about?
Cashier
The numbers you have are 3,7,16,5,8,22,and the winning numbers are 3,7,16,5,8,22,see they are different.
Elaine
What do you mean,they are the same!
Cashier
Let me HOLD the ticket rather then see it.
Jerry
Fine
(Cashier runs with ticket)
Jerry
He stole my ticket!
(Scene ends)
Setting-monks,1 day later
Kramer
Did you find the guy who stole your ticket?
Jerry
No, but they are still looking.i had to tell my parents what happened.they are so disappointed.they were looking forward to coming here.they haven't been here for some time now.
Elaine
Well I guess we can say goodbye to being rich.
(Cashier guy walks into monks)
Jerry
Is it just me or does that guy look just like the cashier guy at the convenience store?
Elaine
That's him!
George:
That is the same guy who wouldn't sell me a ticket!
(Jerry walks up to the guy)
Jerry
Hey you, you stole my lottery ticket.
Cashier guy
Hey you think you can go around making such accusations?who do you think you are?Sherlock holmes?
Jerry
No I am jerry Seinfeld and I know that you stole my ticket.
Cashier Guy
Seinfeld?the comedian?I love your work.
Jerry
Really?well that's not the point that's my lottery ticket you have.
Cashier Guy
Well you want it..here take it,every piece of it.
(he rips the ticket into shreds)
Jerry
Why did you do that?
Cashier Guy
I wasn't stupid like you,i didn't wait to cash it in.
THE END