a/n: Hi, this is just a one-shot I wrote last week. I really adored this movie and wanted to write something about the family dynamic between Pete, Ellie and Lizzie. This could take place a couple months after the movie. Also, trigger warning for self harm, so please be careful when reading.
Ellie unlocks the door, walks into the house and throws her purse on the couch with a tired sigh. She just sat through a meeting with Juan's teacher about how he still has a habit of hiding under the desk whenever someone's voice gets to loud. Whenever there was a reminder about how her kid's life was before being adopted, it broke her heart. She wished there was some magical cure to her children's trauma. But she came to the understanding that it could be a life long battle for them, and that her and Pete have to be there to help them through.
Pete just walked through the door while Ellie made some coffee in the kitchen. They took two separate cars because Pete wanted to go work on another house they just started re-doing for sale.
"Hey babe" He greeted, giving Ellie a kiss on the cheek. "Some meeting, huh?"
Ellie let out a weak laugh. "At least he's getting good grades" She poured coffee creamer in her cup and stirred. "How's the house going?"
"Pretty ok. Smashed the kitchen up. I was debating pulling Lizzie out of school to help-"
His sentence was cut off by a loud noise from upstairs. Pete automatically went to Ellie and stood protectively in front of her.
"Is someone in the house?" She asked, barely getting the words out, her heart racing in fear. "Should I call 911?"
"I got this bastard" Pete said, grabbing Juan's baseball bat and walking upstairs. Ellie followed.
"Whoever the hell you are I'm going to end you!" Pete threatened as he scanned the kids rooms. He noticed that Lizzie's room window was slightly open and her backpack was on her bed.
He dropped the bat. "Lizzie?"
Ellie noticed the bathroom door was closed. She knocked on the door. "Lizzie, honey, you okay?"
Pete tried to open the door. "Why is the door locked?"
They both pressed their ear on the door, they heard shifts and noises.
"Lizzie" Pete called out. "Look, we aren't going to be mad. Just let us in"
It was a painful couple minutes of silence.
"Please honey, open the door" Ellie begged, worry eating at her. Scenarios of what is happening on the other side of the door ran through her mind.
The door unlocked and both of them walked in and took in the scene.
Lizzie was sitting in the corner of the bathroom floor. She was crying. Her knees were to her chest, her arms were crossed over her knees and her head was down. Blood was pooling on the sleeve of her sweater, and some was on her hand.
Pete noticed the blade next to her on the ground, showed Ellie, then slipped it in his pocket.
"Oh Lizzie" Ellie says and she kneels next to her. "Baby, what's wrong?" Her voice cracked, once she put two and two together.
"We aren't mad at you" Pete said, sitting next to his wife, facing his daughter. His heart was breaking. "We just want to talk"
Lizzie looks up and sees her parents facial expression and quickly looks down, unable to see the their reactions.
She quickly got up. "It's fine" she said it a hoarse tone. "I'm fine" she lied, attempting to walk out the door. "Can I please be alone?" Lizzie hoped those words can do their magic. Normally whenever she's having an off day, her parents give her time to process and wait for her to come to them. It's one of the qualities she likes best about them.
"No" Pete said firmly, causing Lizzie to turn around.
"Dad, please" She begged. She didn't want her parents to see her like this. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. She managed to keep self-harm a secret. She has no idea how Pete and Ellie would react to this. She fears they'd no longer love her or they regret adopting her. She couldn't believe this was happening. She managed to keep this a secret for so long, she couldn't believe she slipped up now. She had no idea they were going to be home so soon. She was hoping Juan's meeting would take longer, or they would take longer fixing up the new house.
Ellie got up and walked to her daughter. "Lizzie, if this is the bad and scary stuff you think we can't handle, I promise you, we can" She wiped away Lizzie's tear and moved a strand of her hair and tucked in behind her ear.
Ellie tries to wipe a tear without Lizzie noticing. Lizzie looked at both her parents.
"Why are you guys crying?" She asked, confused. She wasn't expecting them to cry.
"You're putting yourself in all this pain you don't deserve" Pete explained, making sure his voice doesn't crack. "It hurts us"
Lizzie felt more self-hatred for what she is putting them through.
"It's nothing. I just did it-" Lizzie paused. "do it whenever I'm sad or overwhelmed"
Ellie held Lizzie's face in her hands. "This isn't nothing, honey" Lizzie couldn't look her in the eyes. "You don't deserve this"
"I do though" Lizzie argued, feeling more tears coming. "Can we please not do this now, I'm so tired."
"I know you're tired, but let's talk about this first, for a little, ok?" Pete attempted to negotiate.
"Okay" Lizzie compromised.
Ellie took Lizzie's hand and led her to their room as Pete opened the door and followed.
"Sit, honey" Ellie said, gesturing to the bed. Lizzie sat there returning to the position of her knees to her chest, Pete next to her. Ellie went to grab first aid kit from the bathroom. Pete tried to wrap his mind around everything. He wished there was a way to comfort his daughter. But he knew that she wasn't the biggest fan of physical comfort and affection.
He just decided to rub her back. "You know you can talk to us about anything right?" Pete asked, his voice almost back to normal.
Lizzie looks up, and wipes her tear and turns to face Pete. "You don't hate me?" She was so confused. She didn't think their reaction would be like this.
"Lizzie, there is nothing you could ever do to make me or your mom hate you" Pete promised.
Ellie walked in with the first aid kit. "Nothing, sweetie" she continued as she kneeled down to Lizzie's eye level.
"Now let's get that sweater off" She said softly, hoping her daughter wouldn't shut them out again.
"You sure you won't hate me?" Lizzie asked, sometimes unable to believe how truly great her parents her are and how much they love her.
"100 percent sure" Pete reassured her.
Lizzie took off her sweater, while keeping her eyes on the ground. She didn't want to see their reactions to her self-harm. No one has ever seen them before.
She let the sweater drop to the ground, and faced her arms to Ellie.
There was fresh red cuts lined up on her arm. Some were still bleeding a little. The ones on the upper wrist weren't as deep as those lower on her arm. They were perfectly aligned, one under the other. There had to be over twenty.
Both parents couldn't help but tear up again looking at the evidence of their daughter's self-hatred.
Pete wiped a tear in the corner of his eye before his wife or daughter could see. "How long has this been going on?"
Ellie began to clean the cuts up, and whenever the alcohol hit the cuts, Lizzie would wince. Pete held her hand, and whenever it stung a lot she squeezed his hand.
"It's been on and off for a couple years." Lizzie answered honestly, after thinking about it for a little while.
"Years!" Pete exclaimed, Lizzie lets go of his hand. "And no one noticed?"
"In case you haven't noticed dad, some foster parents don't give a damn about their kids" Her tone no longer sad or soft. It was bitter and hard. Kind of reminding Pete and Ellie of how Lizzie was when she first came her.
"Lizzie, baby" Ellie calls as she bandages her arms. Lizzie looks at her. "How did this start?"
"Someone at my middle school did it. I remember her and her friend arguing about it in the bathroom one day. So one night, I decided to try it. At that point, we were in our second foster home and people were bullying me and I was failing my classes. I didn't know what else to do. And in some strange way, it helped me" Lizzie's voice cracked."Whenever the world gets overwhelming, it was what I would do" Despite how terrified she felt about her parents reaction, she felt a weight being lifted off her shoulder. she held on to this secret for so long.
"Did something happen at school?" Pete asked. "Is that why you skipped and came home?"
Once Lizzie didn't reply, Pete knew he got his answer.
"What happened?"
"Just normal high school stress" Lizzie said, hoping that answer would be enough.
"Lizzie"
"Kids are just being mean" She admitted quietly. This fact she didn't want to admit to them, before another Jacob situation happened again.
"Plus..." She hesitated. She looked at Ellie and looked back down. "Today is my birth mom's birthday"
"Oh honey, no wonder you're overwhelmed" Ellie sympathized as she sat next to her daughter and hug her.
"Being in high school sucks, and dealing with other teens is the worst. But what gets you through it is the people who love you" Ellie says, then kisses Lizzie's forehead.
"Me and your dad will always be here for you. No matter what you want to talk about. Even your birth mom" Ellie promises. "You don't have to be afraid to tell us anything, ok?"
"I have no idea about the hell you went through before, but I do know one thing" Pete says as he reaches back to hold his daughter's hand. "You don't deserve the pain you're putting yourself through. I know you think it helps. But you don't have to face the world alone anymore."
"You have us now" Ellie continues. "Whenever, I mean whenever you feel like doing this again, you come talk to us, ok? You can call us from school and we can pick you up, so you aren't walking home alone. You can wake us up in the middle of the night, it doesn't matter. You can't keep doing this"
Lizzie let herself cry, sometimes she had a hard time comprehending this. She didn't know how to feel about this outpouring of affection. She spent nights terrified thinking about what her parents reaction would be if they ever found out. She hated herself more for putting them through this. She felt they deserved better then her.
"You guys deserve a better daughter" She admitted her darkest thoughts. In moments like this she wondered why they loved her so much. "Not a screw up like me"
"Lizzie, don't say that" Pete said, he hugged her to him, as Ellie hugged them both. "You are the daughter we deserve. You are the daughter we love. No matter what. I don't care if I have to tell you everyday for the rest of your life"
"We love you Lizzie" Ellie says. "I know sometimes it's hard for you to believe. But it's true"
Lizzie let herself have this moment. To break down and cry, to let herself feel all of this. She cut to help her deal with everything. But being here, crying out it all, in the arms of her parents was a comfort she never got.
"I love you more" She admits to them.
"No way honey" Ellie says, with a laugh. "We love you most"
Even though neither of them had any idea of what to do next, they all stayed in this moment.
Crying, hugging and holding. All these feelings and affection Lizzie feared. Facing it head on with her parents who she loves and who loves her.
a/n: Hope you enjoyed! I'm sorry if anyone was out of character. If anyone struggles with self-harm as well, know you aren't alone. There is call lines to call in or I believe text lines depending on where you live. As someone who struggled with self-harm, I know how terrible and isolating it could feel. You deserve help, happiness and health. I'm also considering posting another Instant Family one-shot about Lizzie coming out as bisexual. If anyone would be interested, please let me know. Hope you have a great day!