Disclaimer: Harry Potter + JK Rowling's glorious world belongs not to me, sadly

In a Land Far, Far Away

Chapter 1

Hermione couldn't remember the last time her mum and dad read her a bedtime story. Maybe it was after first grade, but she started to read to herself after a while. Especially after running into a copy of Hogwarts: A History at Flourish and Blotts during her first years at Hogwarts. Anyway, it wasn't completely random that she was thinking of this in the middle of the school day, squeezed between her best friends, Harry and Ron, on the benches in the Great Hall. Why, you ask? It was all because of this insane new teacher at the school, or rather an old one that went horribly wrong over the summer.

"Dearies! I do hope you're enjoying your first lunch back at Hogwarts!" McGonagall practically simpered. She suddenly stopped to giggle girlishly. The entire student body stopped chewing their lunch only to gag and guffaw at their new headmistress.

"You all look so surprised, and I haven't even announced my special little treat to you all yet! Unless…" She trailed off suspiciously to glare at the rest of the staff. "…unless one of you told them about my plan already…Sprout!"

At that moment Professor Sprout jerked her head up only to end up looking into McGonagall's flared nostrils. Ah, at least she looked like she was back to normal. Sadly, that was not the case.

"Minerva?" Sprout wearily said. "Is something the matter?"

"What in Merlin's name were you bloody thinking, telling them about the school musical before I got to it?" At once the deadly silent hall began to buzz as students, mainly girls, chatted excitedly. Imagine a musical at Hogwarts! Something that had never happened post-Elizabethan times!

"M-musical?" Sprout sputtered. It was obvious she had had no clue what McGonagall was talking about. "What on earth are you raving about? Minerva, dear, are you feeling alright?"

At this McGonagall snorted and yelled very loudly. "Yes, Sprout. I was fine before I found out you went ahead and told my students about my treat. And now you're lying to me. Shut up." She finished with a bark.

Sprout sadly stared at McGonagall, as if she was some specimen with a broken stem in Greenhouse 3 before making eye contact with her colleagues. Minerva was clearly not recovering any time soon.

The headmistress continued to rave about lying and cheating among colleagues. "In my day…" She started.

"Oh my," Hermione whispered urgently to Harry. "Do you think she's still suffering from Dumbledore's death? Or even worse, what V-Voldemort did to her before you-?"

Harry had blanched as well. It was something only the Order (which had now accepted the Weasley kids, Harry, Hermione and a certain ferret) knew about, but when Harry had faced off with Voldemort in his final duel, McGonagall had gotten in the way…to protect Harry, she recalled…

"So, Harry. Do you feel the time has now come for you to feel the excruciating pain that your mudblood mother felt before she left this earth…before she left you…?"

Harry was shaking with anger. "Crucio!" He yelled as he jerked his wand. But Voldemort was too quick for him and had disappeared, only to reappear a few feet behind Harry.

He raised his Death Eater's wand wordlessly but a powerful spell emerged from the tip of it.

Ginny and Hermione screamed from their places tied around the serpent monument that stood eerily in the moonlight…the Death Eaters remained silent with their masks off and looks of hunger etched across their faces.

At what seemed Harry's last hope a woman hurled herself into Harry and took the effect of the curse for him. Harry was still rolling in the grass when they watched Professor McGonagall being lifted into the air by the curse then dropped with such force that they heard numerous bones break.

Ginny was sobbing and Hermione was too shocked to do anything, she couldn't even breathe…

"Please, don't let her be dead…"

"Hermione," Ron waved a hand in front of her face. She blinked several times. That had only happened a month ago, and here they were, back in school. It was surprising how life would go on, almost smoothly (emphasis on almost) even after something enormous like Voldemort's defeat. It was a huge relief McGonagall had gotten physically better. But the Healers had been worried about McGonagall's mental state. They were sure she would recover, but too much stress on her presently frail mind could potentially drive her to self-inflicted injuries, or even suicide. Come to think of it, that was probably the reason that McGonagall's job as headmistress hadn't been given to someone else, to keep her from feeling too much stress and annoyance.

"Are you guys okay?" Ron asked softly. Hermione nodded but then jerked her head a fraction toward Harry, who didn't seem too good at all. She and Ron knew he was still feeling guilty of being safe at the expense of McGonagall's injuries.

"I'll be fine." He barely croaked. He tried to sit up taller and listen to his headmistress, even though she was a bit off her rocker at the moment. It was the least they felt they could do…

……………………………..

(Hermione's point of view)

The professors apparently didn't want McGonagall to get too angry, or she could explode, and I supposed they could have lost their jobs as well. Posters announcing the musical were posted on the house bulletin boards, which were located just outside the common rooms to get everyone's attention.

"Ooh," Parvati sighed. "It's a romance…about a prince and a belle."

A light went on in my head. "It's a muggle story," I said out of nowhere.

Her eyes widened. "But there's magic in the story! Look, read the summary…furniture and dishes coming to life, an enchanted mirror…"

"Yes, but muggles thought that magic was fake, remember? They still do…" I touched the poster. "They made up stories called fairy tales to teach children lessons about hate, greed…and love." I heard a familiar smirk behind me so I turned around curiously when-AH! My eyes!

The distinct sound of a wet latex glove being ripped away from a hand was made as Lavender pulled away from Ron. Harry was nowhere to be seen (probably snuggling somewhere with Ginny) and so I had been the only one from our little trio that had witnessed such an atrocity. I couldn't believe they were at it again. The couple was lounging on a couch that was situated in the hallway that stretched in front of the common room entrance. (You would have thought they would have the decency to go inside the common room at least, or were they that impatient to get at each other?) Lavender was blushing and stroking Ron's hair adoringly. Well, I thought evilly, at least I could use it against Ron if he ever annoyed me about Krum again. I heard the smirk again and rolled my eyes. Honestly, Malfoy.

"What?" I muttered.

Malfoy grinned the same way I had at Ron and Lavender. He started to say something, something snotty without a doubt, but I was having trouble listening to what he was saying on account of his looking more than decent with his few white-blond bangs falling into his crisp, silvery eyes…

Oh my- what on earth did I just think???

I must have looked utterly horrified, even for reacting to a Draco-ism, because he stared at me intently before snapping, "Why are you looking at me that way? All I did was call you 'know-it-all-beaver' which I have called you ever since-" He broke off annoyed. Now I knew I must have looked like a complete loon with my mouth hanging open, still shocked from my previous thoughts about Malfoy's appearance.

"Wha-at?" Malfoy all but whined.

Aw so the big, bad dragon was cranky…okay, that was the end of it! And before I gave myself the chance to blurt out any of the stupid thoughts going through my head, I abruptly ran up to the Gryffindor Common room.