Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to SquareEnix. The song belongs to Crossfade.
A/N: My first songfic I have ever attempted and I am kinda happy with it. The idea got stuck in my head when I heard the song and I couldn't get it out, so I decided, hey why not just make a songfic. So this is what came from that idea. :3 This is my first songfic so please be nice other than that enjoy!
Oh! I want to thank meh best friend, pingy, for helping me with this. She helped me fix a few things and make the fic all better. Thankies so much pingy! -huggles tightly-
So Far Away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
(I've been changin' but you'll never see me now)
Now I'm blaming you for everything
Fingers drummed restless upon the wooden table waiting for a certain blonde to return home. Nervous? Yes Tifa was nervous but she had to do this. Words were running through her head and she couldn't sit still at all. The warrior had had enough of Cloud Strife and the feelings they had shared between each other. She just couldn't stand it anymore, couldn't stand being ignored, couldn't stand that Cloud hadn't let her go, couldn't stand being stuck in the past with him when she was moving forward in life. Tifa needed to break free from this and actually live.
After Meteor, the two helped salvage and recontrust Midgar to a city where people could actually live in. With Reeve as the new president of Shinra things seemed to turn around quickly and life began to get better for those who had been suppressed for so long. The corruptions, the conceit, the murders, all of it was replaced. The company was no longer one trying to build itself into a mighty empire but was trying to fix the mess that was caused by the company.
Once Midgar had been reconstructed, Tifa recreated her old bar while Cloud became a mercenary that took care of the monsters that still lurked about. The two settled in together and things seemed to be fine for awhile. However Tifa started to change as person while Cloud stayed the same. Tifa started to move forward from the past letting the memories slip into the back of her mind so she could live life as it should be lived. Cloud though continued to live in the past with his memories and was trying to drag Tifa along with him which was causing downfalls in her life.
'Not anymore... I am going to live him to his memories and finally live my life the way I want to, not him', she thought to herself as she continued to wait for him. It was only a matter of time before he walked through the door.
No more holding it in
How many years can I pretend
Nothing never goes the way it should
No more sitting in this place
Hoping you might see it my way
Cause I don't think you ever understood
That what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions that never go away
Tifa watched the door open and Cloud step inside the small home they shared. The blonde took of his coat and hung it on the rack, then slipped off his boots and slid them under the rack. Then he turned and spotted her sitting at the table with two suitcases. Cloud raised his brow and slowly walked to the table. "What's going on Tif?" he asked, confusion clear in his voice.
"I am leaving Cloud," was her short simple answer.
Cloud blinked and looked at her for a moment before he spoke. "What are you talking about Tif?"
"I am talking about leaving this house, Cloud. I can't stand being here with you anymore. I am being dragged down and I can't deal with it anymore," her voice was soft yet still stern, wine colored eyes telling him she was serious.
"Tif... I don't know what you mean."
Tifa let out a sigh and rubbed at her temple for a moment. "I didn't think you would, you were never good at perceiving things." She closed her eyes for a moment thinking of how to word what she was going to say. After a few minutes she opened them again and looked at him now standing across from her at the table. 'I have to do this Cloud... I am sorry' she muttered out into her mind before she spoke again.
"You are stuck in the past Cloud and you are dragging me with you. At first it was fine, I did not mind living in the past with you. But now... I just can't do it. You are bringing me down too much. I want to live my life the way I want to, but I can't as long as I stay here with you. I am always asking myself why you can't let her go, why you can't just live in the present instead of the past, why you can't just move on with life, why you can't see that I am different than the old Tifa, why you can't let me live my own life? I am just so tired of this Cloud and I just can't pretend everything is alright anymore. I have to leave." With her true feelings now out, she felt relieved. Perhaps now life would be under her own to control.
"Tifa... I ...I didn't know you felt that way. I wish you would have told me," Cloud replied, shock in his voice. Slowly he made his way around the table towards Tifa. "Please don't leave Tif, I need you here. I know now how you feel so we can work this out," he pleaded coming closer to her.
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
Tifa shook her head and got up from her seat moving away from him. "No Cloud. I have tried telling you before but you never listened, never tried to understand what I was saying. I am leaving Cloud and nothing you say is going to change that. Your holding me back from my life. I have to go."
No more waiting for the end
Of every day that I will spend
Wishing that I only had a choice
No more pushing you away
Cause I will be busy watching things going my way
Never looking back on this anymore
Because what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
Cloud reached out at Tifa and managed to grab her wrist stopping her from moving any further. "I know I haven't Tif, but I will now. I do want to change.. I want to get out of this rut I have been stuck in for the last few years. I can't do it without you being here though...Please," Cloud pleaded with her, not letting go. Tifa shook her head furiously and yanked her arm back then pushed the blonde from her.
"No Cloud. I am not staying. If you want me to help you will have to look for it somewhere else. I need to be away from you so I sort out my life. I need to get my life back on track before I can do anything with you Cloud. I'm sorry but I have to do this," she replied. Quickly she picked up her two suitcases and made her way for the door, not looking back to him.
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
Now I'm blaming you for everything
I'm so far away
Cloud did not bother going after her and watched her stop at the door, knowing nothing he did or said would stop her. The blame was all on him. He did watch her change through the years and he did not try to listen. All he had ever done was seek comfort from her when he couldn't deal with things on his own but never asked if she needed comfort. 'This is all my fault...' he thought to himself.
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Hey hey I've been saved
With sun shining on my pain
Getting me through this day
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Feels so good to say
"Goodbye Cloud," Tifa murmured out after a few minutes of silence. Then without looking back, she walked out of the door into fading sun with both suit cases in hand. A bright smile was on her face though with a heavy heart as she continued to walk down the street to her new apartment and new life. Finally she would be able to live her own life but she knew she would miss Cloud. You couldn't go through life being so close and not miss someone when you leave.
Yes, she would miss Cloud Strife.
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
Now I'm blaming you
I'm so far away
Fin-
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed it and hope it wasn't too bad. Thankies to everyone who read it -gives out nummy cookies- And if you could be oh so kinda and leave me alittle thought on it, it would be much appreciated. Thankies so much! -jumps on Sephy's back and scurries off-