Merlin was tidying, sort of. He was too distracted by recent events to concentrate on that.
"Please don't feel that you actually have to do any work Merlin, I'm sure it will all happen by itself." At least he wasn't the only one to have a crap few days, Arthur's hadn't exactly been simple either.
"Sorry sire. I'll just do the, um...the…" He could hear Arthur rolling his eyes behind him.
"Sweeping, you idiot. You are holding a sweeping brush, god knows why since you clearly aren't using it."
"Yes, I was just about to say that sire, sweeping, of course." He demonstrated.
The prince shook his head, "You really are the worst servant Merlin. Ever. In the whole history of serving."
Merlin snorted, "Well at least I'm not a clotpole who is drawn in by every pretty girl to visit Camelot, Sire." Arthur turned to him and raised a sceptical eyebrow,
"Oh? And when did you get to be such an expert on love and attraction? Never heard any stories of your conquests or lovers. Jealousy doesn't suit you Merlin."
There was silence in the room for a long moment and then the sound of aggressive brush strokes that sounded abnormally loud, Arthur was amazed at how Merlin could make him feel guilty just by shutting up, it was weird. He sighed,
"Okay, go on. What is it you have to say?" Arthur couldn't quite keep the exasperation from his voice and Merlin shook his head.
"Well sire, this isn't exactly the first time that a potential partner has been used to attack or injure you, it seems to be a popular, if unoriginal, option. Find a pretty girl of high status, send them to court with offers of riches or ties, throw in an enchantment or a sidhe, hope for your death or defeat. There has to be a way to better screen them and their escorts than the current one, is there even any screening?" Arthur watched him carefully.
"Sidhe?"
Responding without thought Merlin answered him, "Nasty, vindictive little things. Very powerful, play a long game, my least favourite creatures of magic. So far."
"Really Merlin? Worse than dragons?" Merlin returned his level stare and felt his heart clench again, "Much, Arthur. Much worse than dragons. At least for me."
"Uhuh. Are you going to explain that any further or lie appallingly badly?"
Merlin looked up, "The second thing, Sire. Sorry." The Prince sighed audibly, "You know you really need to watch your tongue Merlin. Half of what you say to me just now is treasonous, and the Knights, well they are not going to buy both that you are an idiot and that you know as much about threats and creatures from studying. Not all of them."
Merlin shrugged, "They have so far. No one pays attention to servants anyway, we are not important or worth noticing, plus by your own stupid rules it is rude to see us."
Arthur grimaced, "No one sees normal servants Merlin. You however are a terrible, terrible servant. Incompetent, clumsy, forgetful, and you talk to me like you have no idea who I am. Seriously, how many times in the stocks now?"
Merlin grumbled. "I stopped counting some time ago Arthur. The children know my name though."
"Just be more careful Merlin. If you are caught and hauled up on those charges not even I will be able to save you, and I really don't want yet another dull George following me. Be especially cautious around Sir Leon, don't underestimate him."
Merlin nodded, "Thank you Sire for your concern. I am always on guard around anyone but you. Recently you've seemed safe, mostly. For a prat."
"I would still rather we avoid the topic unless it is absolutely necessary for a situation, emergencies only Merlin, not wittering or annoying gossip."
"Seriously? Gossip about magic, in Camelot? You do know that is illegal sire." Arthur growled.
"Don't forget it. Just because I am trying to look the other way don't think anyone else will."
Merlin carried on with his chores before pausing. "You know it is not really me you are pissed at tonight, right? It's at least partly due to yet another performance where two kings exhibit their offspring and try to push them together for selfish gain. Also the almost getting killed by a princess again. I mean that has got to get a little boring after a while."
"Fine, I don't like it. Satisfied? Now about your love life, surely after so long here there must be someone you at least have an interest in." Merlin was quiet for a long moment before answering the Prince. "Interest is not really enough. When living in a place where my existence is punishable by execution, and a liaison is also a crime punished by death, any children condemned by birth, it's asking someone to take a very big risk for very little return. The pool of possible and willing partners is also severely reduced by having to find someone who accepts magic, most of whom have fled or died at the king's hands. Camelot is a lot like a monastery from that perspective. There was one girl, but she...well she was killed...and now being with me is just too dangerous to ask of anyone." Arthur was struck by the quiet resignation Merlin's voice. He hadn't considered that all friends and lovers of Merlin could also be guilty of fraternising with a sorcerer. No. Warlock was what Merlin had called himself, magic at birth, magic itself. He shuddered. It still chilled him that a person could look so normal and yet be so fundamentally different. No one would know by looking at Merlin what he was. He hadn't. He had to give the young man credit though on restraint for others safety. He tried not to run the list of Merlin's friends through his head, Guinivere was top of the list. After himself. He had been silent too long. When had Merlin lost a girlfriend though? And why hadn't he known? It was far too late to change though and his manservant seemed to have forgiven it. He wondered if he could ever forgive someone who killed Guinivere, if they had to, he knew the answer in his heart. Merlin was a better man than he.
"How is it that you can forgive so much, so easily Merlin?" Arthur surprised himself. It was not what he meant to say.
Merlin's face went blank as he shook his head, as though trying to clear it, "Because I have to Arthur. It is hard, but if I carry grudges, or allow anger to grow, gods if I get fully angry with the kind of power in me, it's dangerous. Really dangerous. If I couldn't forgive then I would become like Nimueh. Maybe worse. I can't let that happen." Arthur wondered how his gentle manservant knew that, wondered if he wanted to know the answer. Merlin wasn't volunteering any details. He rarely did, it was safer not to. Arthur tried to respect that. Sort of. He was not accustomed to having people stubbornly withhold information from him, but then he wasn't accustomed to people behaving or speaking to him as though they were equals either. Merlin seemed determined to break all the established rules, even treating him as a friend when the King was not present. Arthur sighed, nothing made sense anymore.
"We should find you a girl. One that won't make you angry. Can't very well have you poaching from prisoners." He spoke lightly but for some reason Merlin's expression showed guilt, and a profound sorrow. Arthur wondered if he had imagined it as Merlin turned around grinning, "and you call me a girl sire, you're getting as bad as Gwen for matchmaking attempts!" Arthur accepted the end of the discussion as what it was.
"Well if you are quite finished your dallying with that brush perhaps you could get on and finally draw me a bath! Been a long few days for us all, but back to normal in the morning now that they have gone, so you can look forward to polishing my armour, doing the sheets, cleaning our boots, and there's training of course…" Merlin smiled in relief that his sometimes rather thick prince had accepted that the topic of partners was off limits. Not that he had time for a relationship anyway. No sane person would be trying to do 3 full time jobs, but somehow he had been tricked into exactly that. At least it gave him a simple excuse that most wouldn't question. He left to fetch the water needed for a bath, leaving the Prince alone with his thoughts.