Disclaimer: I do not own Honey and Clover.
It took her quite a while to figure herself and everything out. She had almost pushed him too far away, to the point where he could have walked out of her life completely. She had provoked his feelings, had encouraged them to grow only to turn him down when she felt like they were finally getting somewhere. She had been afraid of how devoted he was to her, afraid that she might hurt him in the end and more importantly, afraid that she would once again get hurt. It had been a cycle of sorts, but Ayu was glad he never gave up on her.
She took a furtive glance at the man who waited patiently for her, endured her broken heart and picked up the pieces until he held it whole. There was deep concentration on his face, dark eyes unblinking as he stared at the large slab of stone yet to take any form.
Ayu smiled. It would probably take him another day to figure out what to make with it. She almost giggled at the sight of him getting frustrated as evidenced by the growing crease on his forehead and down-turned lips. She should remember that silence is most appreciated in their shared studio.
She looked down at her work, a wet brown lump forming the shape of a kettle. Her hands were dirtied with wet clay but it was with these hands that she had been able to achieve where she was now. Her line of sight once again moves towards the man across her side of the room, then moves further down to his hands holding a chisel and a hammer.
"Ayu-chan," he called out, startling Ayu. He turned to look at her with a wide smile. "It's rude to stare, you know."
She blushed and turned her head away. She needed to concentrate and ignore his distracting presence in the room. Ayu briefly wondered why she ever agreed to share the studio with him.
"Aw, I'm just kidding, Ayu-chan!" The chuckle following his statement somehow annoyed her and brought her to further embarrassment. The scowl forming on her face was meant as an indication that she did not wish to be distracted. How that was possible when she just couldn't seem to stop staring at him was beyond her.
They continued on through the rest of the day in silence. Ayu had kept glancing his way to see how he was doing, and oftentimes their eyes would meet and he'd give her a warm smile. He had only been able to tinker with the stone, occasionally making dents here and there while she had finished more earthenware after the kettle as the day neared its end.
They cleaned up what little mess they made and went out of the studio. It had just fallen dark and the streets were just about lighting up with neon signs and the streetlamps. As they walked home, Ayu wished she could put into canvas the beauty of the nightlife in Tokyo so she would be able to relive it anytime especially in the day. But Ayu only had talent for pottery; she was one of those so called artists without a paintbrush.
"What are you thinking, Ayu-chan?" his voice stood out among the shrill noises of the city. She turned her head to the side to see him watching her curiously albeit with a smile. She only realized then that he had taken her hand in his sometime during their walk.
"Nothing, just… I wish I could paint these sights..."
He had fallen silent with thoughtfulness evident on his face. Even as they were inside the comfort of their home- a shared apartment with a shared bed- he didn't utter a single word and the look of something troubling his mind gave discomfort to Ayu. She decided a few hours later as she lied down on her side of the rather large bed, that it had been a mistake to have mentioned anything to him.
She made a guess that her statement had reminded him of a certain someone, someone from their past that may still be a sore topic for him. She didn't want to think that she still had that much effect on him. She thought it unfair that she had moved on, although it had been with his help, and he hadn't.
She had fallen asleep later that night with slight tears in her eyes. It wasn't until she woke up alone in the bed while it was too early for his usual time to rise that she assumed the worst.
With blurring eyes, she quietly moved around the apartment searching for him. All her suspicions were shoved further from her mind, however, when she came upon a wall sized canvas of Tokyo's nightlife upon entering the gallery room.
Tears fell from her eyes, unable to hold it any longer, as she found his sleeping and paint-stained form by the adjacent wall. She moved quietly towards him, kneeled to his front, and pushed the strands of dark hair away from his eyes.
She decided much later when he was finally awake and chatting merrily about that having Morita Shinobu for a boyfriend was the best thing that ever happened in her life.