Interminable

Chapter 1: The Never-Ending Debacle

Akane Tendo sat on the back porch of her home, listening to the soft breeze blowing through the sakura trees, and listening to the koi jumping in the pond across the yard. She stared at the grasses blowing softly in the wind, and leaned her head on her arms which were folded above her bent knees.

Maybe...maybe it's me she thought to herself. Maybe I really am a violent, uncute stupid tomboy. But that doesn't give him the right to act such a fool all the time. After all, I may have faults but I'm not to blame for his excess of rivals and suitors. I didn't ask them to follow him around, and I don't incite them into doing anything to him. I guess he's just a jerk, after all.

Unknown to Akane, someone was watching her musing to herself. Ryoga in P-Chan form stared at her slight frame, wondering why she was so pensive suddenly. After the incident in the kitchen, he would have expected her to be malleting everyone in sight to kingdom come. I hope she's alright, he thought. This is all that stupid Ranma's doing. He always causes her trouble. He doesn't deserve her. Then again, he doesn't pretend to be her pet pig, either. I guess I don't deserve her, either. But still...how could he have ruined all her hard work so carelessly, like that?

Earlier that afternoon, Akane and Ranma returned home from school to find a note from Kasumi on the kitchen counter. All of the household was gone, save them. Kasumi was shopping, Nabiki was extorting money from the Yakuza, Happosai was stealing the neighbors' underwear, and Soun and Genma were drinking sake in the bathhouse, and then trying to outrun the police when they got caught drunk in the bath. Ranma immediately headed for the dojo, throwing his books on the counter and rushing past Akane, who sat down to read the note in its entirety.

Hm, Akane thought. "Maybe I'll make a small snack for us to tide us over until everyone comes home and Kasumi makes dinner." She knew that Ranma wasn't very fond of her cooking, but she had improved an awful lot in the last few months. Pushing her short, bluish-black hair over her shoulder, Akane opened the cream-colored refrigerator and peered in. She decided to make a simple snack, miso soup, rice, and tea. Not too arduous an attempt, even for one of her meager skills.

Akane added water to the rice cooker, and while it heated, she pulled one of Kasumi's pink aprons out of the pantry ant placed it over her school uniform. Afterward, she washed her hands and pulled out miso paste, a small amount of seaweed, and tofu. She quickly measured out the paste and water, then placed them in a pot. After adding some rice to the cooker, she closed it and set about chopping up small pieces of tofu. She added that, plus the seaweed, and then heated up another pot of water for tea.

Standing on her tiptoes, Akane peered into the china cabinet and pulled out a tray, two bowls and two small teacups. Placing them and two sets of chopsticks on the tray, she tasted a small spoonful of the soup. "Not bad," she muttered out loud, "maybe I should put some curry powder and vanilla in it. Or, maybe not," she added as she thought a little harder. No sense in ruining a good thing.

"Bweeee!"

Akane looked down to see P-Chan sitting on the kitchen floor, looking up at her pleadingly. "Oh, hello P-Chan! Where have you been sweetie?" she asked, lifting P-Chan off of the floor and cuddling him to her chest. "You must be hungry. Here, have some rice." As Akane turned away to place rice in a small bowl for P-Chan, the pig's normally black skin turned slightly green, and he turned away to trot into the living room, but Akane returned before he could make his escape, and lifted him up into her arms. "Say aaaahh," she requested, lifting chopsticks with a few grains of rice to his mouth. P-Chan was forced to swallow, and when he did, to his surprise, he didn't keel over or die. In fact, the rice tasted....normal.

At that moment, Akane heard a hissing, and looked to the stove. "Oh! The tea is boiling!" she exclaimed, setting P-Chan down and walking over to the stove. P-Chan used this interruption to make his escape. Sure, the rice seemed fine, but that was no reason to take his chances where Akane's cooking was concerned. It could be completely toxic, but not appear so until hours later.

P-Chan ran outside to see Ranma exiting the dojo, rubbing his sweaty neck with a green towel. "Hey, Ryoga," Ranma greeted him. P-Chan growled in reply, then jumped and bit him on the arm. "Hey! Porkbutt!" Ranma shouted, then chased him across the yard. As P-Chan's small black form leapt off a rock by the koi pond, Ranma raced to follow, but tripped on Ryoga's backpack, which was sticking out of the pond.

Splash!

Ranma-chan sat up, angrily wiping her brilliant red hair out of her eyes. "I'm gonna get ya for that, porkbutt," she snarled. P-Chan was nowhere to be found. Well, actually, he was in Idaho, enjoying a lovely view of potatoes, but Ranma didn't know that.

"Ranma! Snacktime," called Akane, standing in the doorway to the backyard. Slowly, Ranma-chan stood up, picked up her discarded towel and proceeded to dry herself off- somewhat. Then she followed Akane inside.

"Hey, ugly tomboy. What kitchen appliances didja ruin this time?" inquired Ranma-chan cockily. "Nothing, baka," hissed Akane, shaking her fist at him. "I only made soup and rice, and I tasted it myself, it's fine."

"Somehow I doubt that," Ranma-chan told her. "Your "fine" cooking is just about as "fine" as your fat figure, and your slow, clumsy martial arts abilities. Besides, I'm not hungry, you can go poison somebody else." With that, Ranma turned to enter the living room, and began to walk, until he was distracted by something or someone crashing through the wall.

"Aiiyaaa! Shampoo here to give Airen too too good dumplings! Make shrimp shumai. Husband hungry?" Shampoo tossed her long, glossy purple locks behind her, and stuck out her chest, which was already threatening to burst out of her sorely over-worked Chinese silk shirt.

"Alright, thanks Shampoo! I'm starving!" Ranma-chan exclaimed. "And there's nothing to eat here." "Ranma!" Akane shouted at him. "I just made us a snack." Ranma rolled his eyes, then spared Akane a glance. "That's not food," he sneered.

Shampoo interrupted. "If Airen like, when finish dumpling, Shampoo take to Cat Café and give ramen special." She watched him eagerly, knowing what his reaction would be. "Sure!" was the enthusiastic reply, to which Shampoo firmly glomped him, while Akane stood in the background, crimson-faced, with steam coming out of her ears. One shoulder of her apron drooped, but she didn't notice as she stared at the two.

I will not mallet them. I am not jealous. There is no reason to let them see that I'm angry...I mean, I'm not angry. It just means more miso for me, Akane reasoned to herself with gritted teeth. "Uh, Shampoo, hehe," Ranma-chan put his hand behind his head, "can ya kinda get offa me?" He glanced fearfully at Akane, waiting for the mallet that never came. Shampoo let go long enough to grab Ranma-chan's arm, then pulled him out the hole in the wall, his red Chinese shirt fluttering behind him.

Akane glared after, then turned forlornly back to the amazingly, still-immaculate kitchen, and put one of the bowls and teacups away, when Ranma-chan came running back in. She looked up hopefully, but all he did was pour the teakettle over his head, then race back outside in male form, dumping the half-full teakettle on the floor, and spraying its contents all over the kitchen.

"BAKA!" Akane shouted after him.