What's Real in the Mind
By: A.l.u.t.
"Whatcha reading there, Doc?" asked Tom Paris, when he showed up for his shift in sick bay. The Doctor had his feet propped up on his desk and was staring so intently at a padd he hadn't looked up when the sick bay doors slid open.
"Carl Jung," answered the Doctor. "Since we don't have a counselor on board, I'd thought I'd brush up on some of the better know psychiatrists."
"Anything interesting?" asked Tom.
"I find Jung's studies on dreams fascinating," replied the Doctor.
"What, symbolism and all that?" asked Tom. "I'll go with Freud on the symbolism. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
"Freud did his share of dream interpretation as well," said the Doctor, handing Tom a different padd and not sounding too pleased with Freud, "although I believe he was highly influenced by his self medication techniques." Tom read for a moment and threw the padd down.
"I'm not in love with my mother," he said disgusted. "If anything B'Elanna is the opposite..."
"I wasn't trying to say you had an Oedipus complex, Mr. Paris," said the Doctor. "I was simply pointing out that dreams being a symbolic representation of the unconscious is a widely accepted idea."
"Dreams don't mean anything," said Tom. "They're just your brain trying to make sense of the random synaptic chemicals going through it while you sleep."
"I wouldn't be too sure," admonished the Doctor. "You'd be surprised how self aware your subconscious can be."
Tom rolled his eyes.
xxx
Kathryn Janeway was walking in the woods. At first she didn't recognize where she was, but soon the trees began to look familiar. She was in Indiana, in the forest just outside her family's farm. She wasn't sure where she was going but decided to keep walking. There was a warm comforting breeze rustling through the leaves and it was a pleasant day. Janeway was unworried about her lack of destination but was a little curious about the fact that she was in her Starfleet uniform.
"Hello Kathryn."
She looked around her to pinpoint the source of the voice. Her eyes went to a fallen tree trunk where she saw him sitting. The tiny lizard she'd met when Chakotay had first shown her his medicine bundle was blinking expectantly up at her. She approached her spirit guide to greet him in turn.
"Hello there," she replied smiling.
"I have not seen you in a while, Kathryn."
"I'm sorry. I've been very busy."
"I know you have," said the little lizard. "And you haven't really needed me. Your spirit is strong and your path is straight. Now, however, I feel you are very much in need, so I have come to you." The spirit guide slid off the log and scuttled across the forest floor. She understood to follow and went after him. After padding through the woods for only a few moments the two came to a small clearing canopied by the trees. Her spirit guide disappeared. Kathryn looked up into the clearing ahead of her. It was wonderfully shady but dappled in light that had snuck in through the branches. In the midst of this clearing was the bathtub Chakotay had built for her during their stay on New Earth.
Kathryn walked up to the tub. It was filled with hot soapy water, which she happily ran her fingers through. A bath would certainly be nice and it had been a very very long time since she'd had a good soak. As she took her hand out of the water and shook it dry, Chakotay walked out of the woods and up to the other side of the tub. They smiled at each other.
BEEP BEEP BEEP. Damn.
"Computer, turn off alarm," said Kathryn irritably as she rolled over and snuggled deeper into her pillows. She would have liked to finish that dream. Slipping into the soothing water would have been heaven, even if it was just all in her head.
She supposed it was natural that Chakotay was there. The tub had, after all, been a gift from him. He'd just seemed slightly out of place as he had been wearing his uniform like she had but uniforms seemed to be the only thing they ever wore these days so maybe that did fit. She tried to recapture some of the dream by going back to sleep and actually managed to snooze for a few moments but the comfort and safety in the woods were gone.
"Oh well," Kathryn sighed, as she got up and made her way to the sonic shower.
xxx
Tom, Harry Kim, and B'Elanna Torres walked into an alien pub. Cocktail waitresses all carried trays full of red drinks with smoke lingering on the surface and cascading over the sides. It was a pleasant enough little place, done up mostly in the pungent dark wood native to the planet. Tom especially liked the small artificial waterfall that was on the far wall. They sat at a table and ordered some of the frothy drinks. Tom tasted his. It was slightly fruity. The smoke was thick too and he discovered he could take some in his mouth and swish it around. Harry and B'Elanna laughed as Tom inhaled some more of it and blew it out his nose. He turned away from the table, blowing the rest of the smoke off the drink and right into an alien's face. It lingered there, obscuring the features but Tom and the others could tell the alien was spitting mad. The unknown creature stood up to his full height, which seemed way over two meters tall and loomed above Tom.
"You're rude," said the alien. Tom was quiet, too scared to move. "I don't like rude little men." The alien drug Tom up out of his seat by his collar and threw him over into the nearby corner. Tom pressed himself up against the wall, cowering while the alien towered over him. Suddenly, his attacker doubled over in pain and fell to the floor. B'Elanna had come up from behind and rammed the pointed toe of her boot between his legs.
"Good thing they're built like most humanoids," she said. She hauled the alien up off the ground and proceeded to kick his ass while he half heartedly fought back. Tom peeked around them at Harry. Harry looked thoroughly disgusted and kept making hand gestures at the fight as if he thought Tom should join in. Tom couldn't look at any of it anymore and hid his face in his hands.
He woke up at a nudge from B'Elanna and looked around their room in confusion for a moment until he realized he'd been dreaming. The feelings of fear and embarrassment still lingered. B'Elanna seemed to be dreaming too. She was jerking slightly and muttering in Klingon.
Just a dream. Just a stupid dream. He reasoned with himself, but he couldn't get his conversation with the Doctor out of his head. It was hard for him to fall back asleep.
xxx
Neelix ran frantically down a seemingly endless corridor. It had the cold grey sterility of a medical ward no one cared about. The Talaxian raced by door after imposing metal door, knowing simultaneously that they were all locked and that were they not, would offer no refuge. He glanced behind him. There was an alien there, gliding after him. Neelix could smell its tangy odor. He tried to run faster but his legs wouldn't lift and he fell on his face. The alien was on top of him now, and he could feel its big hand holding his head to the floor, then pain shooting through his back and lung as he was stabbed again and again.
Neelix took a gasping breath as he sat up in his bed in a cold sweat.
xxx
Inspite of the fact the shower was a poor substitute for a good hot bath, the Captain walked onto the bridge feeling refreshed.
"Sleep well?" asked Chakotay, as she took her chair. He hadn't really needed to ask. He could see it in her face.
"I did," she said. "One of the best night's sleep I've had in a long time."
"Good to hear," her First Officer replied. He turned to his console and brought up an image of planets in orbit on the view screen. "We're coming up on a yellow star system called Traloric. Traloric III is home to a people known as the Lapharne. Neelix said they are a fairly peaceful people and that Traloric III would be a good place to trade for supplies and possibly take some shore leave."
"The crew certainly needs it," said the Captain. "How long before we're in hailing range?"
"Any minute, Captain," said Harry, from his station at opps. "It looks like they're actually hailing us right now."
"On screen," said Janeway with a smile, and Harry brought up the hail.
On the viewer was a pleasant looking humanoid with green spots clustered on both temples and two extra sets of nostrils on the bridge of his nose. His grin was much toothier than a human's, almost to the point of a grimace, but his aquamarine eyes twinkled brightly enough. Kathryn decided she liked him.
"Greetings!" the alien said cheerily. "We saw your approach on our sensors and thought we'd say hello! I'm Dirideon. I'm a magistrate here on Traloric III."
"Pleased to meet you," Janeway replied. "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager."
"Excellent. Welcome to our system, Captain," replied the magistrate. "Now tell me, did you sleep well last night?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did," she spluttered at the question. Assuming it was probably only a common courtesy of their culture, she added, "How about you?"
"Did I sleep well?" laughed Dirideon, merrily. "Yes, yes of course I did. Thank you for asking. Now, Captain," he went on, "we've noticed you've set a course for our little homeworld. May we be of any assistance to you while you visit?"
"Actually, you can," said Janeway. "We were hoping to trade for some supplies and if it's not too much trouble, some shore leave for the crew."
"Wonderful," he replied. "Traloric III is the best place to relax in the galaxy. At least we think so. I will transmit the coordinates of the visitor's space dock immediately."
"Thank you, Magistrate," she said, "and I look forward to meeting you in person."
"Likewise, Captain! See you in a few days!"
xxx
The Captain's good mood seemed to be contagious, and the prospect of much needed shore leave was something for everyone to look forward to. Almost all the crew had been in a fantastic state of mind and working at peak efficiency. Tom Paris, however, was in a foul mood when he reported for his shift in sick bay. Try as he might, he couldn't concentrate on the microbe he was supposed to be cataloging and kept losing his place on the padd. When the Doctor came to check on his progress, the EMH found Tom staring unproductively at the sick bay monitor.
"Chop chop, Mr. Paris," the Doctor admonished. "Those microbes aren't going to jump out of their petri dishes and start documenting themselves. I suggest you get back to it, if you want to have time to pack for leave tomorrow." Tom rolled his eyes and picked up the padd again.
"Sorry Doc," said Tom. "I just can't get my mind off this stupid dream I had last night."
"A dream?" smirked the Doctor. "Isn't it funny how just a few days ago..."
"I'd rather not talk about it," interrupted Tom, staring more fixedly at the padd. "It was just a dream and I still say they don't mean anything."
"I wouldn't say dreams don't mean anything," replied the Doctor. "Though sometimes strange if interpreted literally, when taken in context of the symbolism, a dream can reveal volumes."
"Like if I dream about chopping broccoli it means I want to kill my great aunt Millie because she used to force me to eat when I was little?"
"Not exactly like that," said the Doctor rather annoyed. "More like, if you dream your piloting a shuttle and no matter what you do, you can't stay on course or get it to stop, that would generally mean you believe the path your life is taking is out of your control. Alternately, a newborn baby usually represents crossing into a new phase. Your feelings about the baby tell you how you feel about the change. You could be apprehensive about caring for the little one or joyful that the baby is now in the world."
"Or your wife could be about to have a baby," offered up Tom.
"Well of course immediate representation is always a possibility," said the Doctor.
"Ok," said Tom, a little interested in spite of himself. "What about things that are way beyond anything we'd ever see in real life? I heard Ensign McGraw say the other day she had a dream she was being chased by a Velociraptor."
"A what?"
"A dinosaur."
"Ah," said the Doctor. "Prehistoric or extinct animals in dreams represent past issues."
"That would make sense," said Tom, thoughtfully. "She talks an awful lot about how horrible her dad was growing up."
"Perhaps she hasn't moved beyond her troubles with her father and fears they are pursuing her into her life today."
"Ok, I get it," said Tom. His face grew rather surly. "What if say, you keep dreaming that your wife bails your butt out of a bar fight while you hide in the corner?" By Tom's expression, the Doctor could surmise the dream wasn't hypothetical.
"I can see how that would be unsettling."
"You think?" said Tom, sarcastically. "My only consolation is that I'm the only one who has to see it over and over again."
"This is a recurring dream?"
"Last three nights."
"Hmm." The Doctor paced around Tom and tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Has Lieutenant Torres been taking more control over the relationship lately, or started being overly protective?"
"No, we're about the same as we always were."
"How did you feel about the fact your wife fought the antagonist?"
"Did this just turn into a psych session?" asked Tom.
"Now, now, Mr. Paris," scolded the Doctor. "Don't avoid the question. Feelings are important in dreams and tell us the most about how we interpret what we see."
"I was...embarrassed," said Tom. "Not so much about what B'Elanna did; about how I just sat there and let her. I didn't try to stop her or even help her. I just watched, feeling stupid."
The Doctor paced some more, still looking thoughtful and muttering to himself as he worked through the dream. Suddenly he smiled.
"Would you say you've been acting more responsible lately, taking fewer risks?"
"Well, yeah," said Tom. "I'm a married man now, remember. I had to calm down a little."
"Precisely," said the Doctor. "Do you feel that a bar fight constitutes a risk?"
"Well, I think I could have taken the guy," answered Tom, "but it's definitely something I don't do anymore."
"Was there anyone else in the bar with you?"
"Harry."
"What was he doing the whole time?"
"Wondering why I didn't fight the guy myself."
"What did you say to this?"
"Nothing," said Tom sheepishly. "I hid in the corner."
"Exactly!"
"Exactly what?"
"Don't you see," said the Doctor triumphantly. "Part of you is upset that you are not the daredevil you used to be when you were single. Also you feel that your friends think it's because you're hiding behind your wife for an excuse to no longer take those risks."
"What?" said Tom. "I don't hide behind B'Elanna."
"Do you ever worry that your friends think you do?"
"I can't say that I haven't," said Tom.
"But the thought is there," replied the Doctor, "even though you choose to ignore it."
"So what does this dream say I should do?" asked Tom.
"Oh it doesn't tell you what to do or if you should do anything at all," rejoined the Doctor. "It only brings to light things you don't deem worthy enough to be dealt with in the waking hours."
"Great," said Tom. "Now there's another thing on the list I never would have been bothered by if it weren't for the stupid dream."
"I'd say you were very bothered by it, Mr. Paris, or else you wouldn't have dreamed about it in the first place. At least now that you're aware of it, you should stop having the dream."
"Well that's good news," muttered Tom as he went back to his padd. The two worked undisturbed for a bit. The Doctor hummed quietly as he ran routine diagnostics on his equipment. Tom trudged on with the microbe reports and tried to block out the cheerful melody. He was on the verge of telling the Doctor what he could do with his humming when Neelix came into sick bay. Thankful for the distraction, Tom got up to treat the new comer.
"Neelix," said Tom. "What can we do for you? More burns from the mess hall?"
"No, nothing like that," said the Talaxian. He seemed agitated. "I just haven't been sleeping well. I thought maybe I could get something for it before I went to bed tonight."
"Not sleeping well?" said the Doctor. "You're about the only one. The few people I've seen over the last few days have been getting some of the best REM sleep of their lives, and I've had the fewest requests like yours in I don't know how long. Usually they go up when we're approaching an unknown planet."
"Well, I'd be sleeping, Ok, I guess if it weren't for this dream I've been having."
"Oh?" said the Doctor. When it rains it pours, I suppose.
"It always starts off the same. I'm in the ward of a hospital and suddenly I'm being chased down the hall. I can't run. I turn and there's an alien behind me and then he murders me. So far I've been shot, strangled and stabbed. I'm just a little nervous about going back to sleep."
"Do you recognize the alien?" asked the Doctor concerned.
"I don't know him," said Neelix, "but he's one of the Lapharne, the people we're going to see."
"My guy was too!" exclaimed Tom. This last night, he'd finally been able to see his face. "The guy in the bar, he was one of the aliens."
"You both have been dreaming about the Lapharne for the past three nights?" asked the Doctor.
"Looks like," said Tom. "So?"
The Doctor huffed in exasperation and rolled his eyes. Immediately he grabbed his medical tricorder and began scanning Tom and Neelix's heads. After reading the results for a moment, he shook his head and dragged the two over to the bio-beds.
"What's the matter, Doctor?" asked Neelix.
"I'm amazed I ever ended up with a subroutine for learning," said the Doctor irritably, "since you humanoids don't ever seem to do it."
"What are you talking about Doc?" asked Tom.
"Think, Mr. Paris," said the Doctor. "What happened the last time you all were visited in your dreams by the same alien?"
"Oh, yeah," said Tom almost hopefully. "If this alien was a telepath then maybe I'm not..." he glanced at Neelix and trailed off.
"I don't like this at all," said Neelix, as the Doctor began sticking suction cups to their heads. "I was looking into some of your human theories on dreams. One author seemed to believe that if you see yourself die in your dream, then your brain will think your dead and you'll die in real life."
"No accredited scientist believes that, Mr. Neelix, I can assure you," said the Doctor, perusing the findings on his equipment. "And I think you have nothing to worry about."
"No one was influencing us?" said Tom, sounding disappointed.
"I doubt it," answered the Doctor. "There's no sign of telepathic intrusion in your brainwaves nor any foreign patterns or memories. Just evidence of extra deep REM sleep, which is most likely why the dreams were so vivid."
"But why would we both dream of the aliens?" asked Neelix.
"A valid question," said the Doctor. "Mr. Paris, did you ever see a likeness of a Lapharnio before you started dreaming of them?"
"No," said Tom, "but his face was clouded over until the dream last night. The shift right before that, I was at the conn when we got hailed by one of them."
"Mr. Neelix, when did you recognize your attacker?" questioned the Doctor.
"Right away," he replied, "but I've met the Lapharne before. I knew what they looked like."
"Well then, in light of the medical evidence and your accounts, I'd say this was simply a coincidence," concluded the Doctor. "It appears that the only mysteries to figure out are your own personal ones. If you would like help interpreting the dreams, feel free to borrow my copy of Memories, Dreams, Reflections."
"Sure thing, Doc," said Tom, sans enthusiasm. "Maybe later."
"You're missing out on an entire world of self discovery," coaxed the Doctor.
"I think I'll just take the sedative," said Neelix, "if you don't mind."
"Fine," said the Doctor, clearly annoyed as he handed Neelix the hypospray. "Take this tonight and comeback tomorrow if we need to up the dosage."
xxx
Tom stepped into the turbolift after he left sick bay. Janeway, Seven of Nine and Chakotay were already in the lift, heading to quarters after they'd left the bridge a little early for the afternoon.
"Are you sure you haven't changed your mind about coming down?" Janeway asked Chakotay. "I guess that's a yes," she added as he stifled a yawn.
"I'm sorry," he laughed. "I had a late night again. Too much to get caught up on. I plan on taking some time off for it tomorrow."
"I hope you get the chance," she replied. "I heard the fountains in the capital city are over 400 years old and still in perfect working order."
"I'll make sure I go see them," said Chakotay. "Right now, though, I'm taking a nap."
"Seven, what have you got planned?" Janeway asked.
"I intend to visit the beach," Seven replied. "I have not seen an ocean in person since I left the collective."
"I hear they're beautiful," she said. "Tom?"
"B'Elanna and I, Harry and a few others booked a night at their spa. We thought we'd see what the Lapharino relaxation massages were all about."
"Sounds fantastic," she said. "I might have to try that out myself."
"They have a whirlpool room," said Chakotay. "Probably the best bath you'll ever have." Kathryn glanced at him for a moment. She'd thought she'd seen a particular look in his eye but it was gone. The turbolift doors slid open as they reached their deck.
"You should definitely think about booking a stay yourself, Captain," said Tom.
"I'll consider it," she said to Paris. He and Seven walked down the corridor. She turned to Chakotay.
"I hope you're not planning on sleeping all night," she said. "I was going to see if you wanted to have dinner this evening when I got back."
"I should be up by then," he replied, smiling. "The power naps have been working a little better lately."
"See you around nineteen hundred?"
"Wouldn't miss it."
xxx
Captain Janeway and Magistrate Dirideon walked through the common in the capital city of Traloric III. It was a beautiful spring day and the fountains bubbled pleasantly. Lively cheerful Lapharne seemed to be everywhere. As she walked, Janeway relaxed into the warm friendly aura of the place. She hadn't seen their beaches yet, but she suspected Traloric III could give Risa a run for its money.
"I see you are starting to feel the effects of our planet, Captain," said Dirideon.
"Effects?"
"Come, now," he laughed. "You didn't wonder why I asked how you'd been sleeping?"
"I thought it was a custom," she replied.
"I wanted to see if our planet affected your species before I started boasting about it," answered the Magistrate.
"How does it affect people?" asked the Captain.
"It has a natural magnetic field that, for many life forms, lowers the blood pressure and promotes deep and restful sleep."
"I can see why this would be an excellent vacation spot," she said. "It seems so... peaceful."
"It is. Even I am sometimes surprised how much conflict is avoided simply by everyone being well rested and in a good mood. Even from outside cultures. The phenomenon reaches quite far off our world and by the time a ship arrives no one feels much like fighting anymore."
"You have no crime?"
"Every culture has crime," the magistrate replied. "Ours is simply a little different than most. But enough unpleasantness," he smiled. "What were your plans while you were on Traloric III?"
"I hadn't decided yet," she answered. "There seemed like so much to do I had a hard time narrowing it down."
"I understand perfectly. The seaside is especially lovely this time of year although some prefer hiking. Have you seen the spa?"
"No, but I have several crew members staying there this evening. I might stop by tomorrow."
"You are not staying over?"
"I can't tonight," she said regretfully. "I have to get back to the ship."
"Well," said Dirideon thoughtfully, "if you only have a few hours right now, I would recommend a visit to one of the Sleep Masters."
"Sleep Masters?"
"Yes, they are experts at harnessing the natural benefits of our planet. One of the many services they provide helps channel that energy allowing a few hours to do the work of a week's worth of restful nights."
"That sounds perfect," said Janeway. "Lead me to it."
xxx
Janeway wasn't sure she was in the right place when she came up in front of the imposing looking building. It looked like a monastery, made of grey rough hewn stone and devoid of anything aesthetic. She was about to turn back to retrieve Dirideon when she saw Tuvok walking out and down the front steps.
"Captain," he said, walking over to her. "Have you come to see the Sleep Masters?"
"Yes. Is this really the building?"
"It is plain," said Tuvok, "even by Vulcan standards, but the inside is much different."
"What was your visit like?"
"Very agreeable, although I dare say, your session will not be like mine. I did not sleep."
"Then what did you do?"
"I experienced more of a guided meditation; something I was badly in need of. Occasionally, a Vulcan will need to have a similar meeting with a master to correct any detrimental habits he may have developed on his own."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," said Janeway. "What do I do when I go in?"
"There will be someone to greet you at the door and show you where to go."
xxx
Janeway lay back on a soft mat while a young Lapharino girl, named Andati, massaged her temples gently. They were in a private room, separated from the other spaces by a series of light drapes gathered at the ceiling that moved in the breeze circulating the temple.
"Are you a friend of Tuvok's?" the girl asked.
"I am," said Kathryn.
"I could tell by the uniforms," smiled Andati. "But you're not the same species."
"I'm human. He's Vulcan."
"I see. I have never worked with one like him before. The experience was unusual, but not unpleasant."
"Sometimes I feel the same way," laughed Kathryn. "What is this place?" she asked next.
"It used to be a place of worship," replied Andati, "but the Zealots that held services here tended to cause more trouble than they were worth. Once we were able to put an end to their Holy Wars, they were all banished."
"You got rid of your priests?"
"Yes, but not our spirituality. It is now devoted more to healing of the spirit and as a result the body. Now that we are free to explore our faith, it is possible to find meaning in it that was lost in the strict doctrine of the Zealots."
"No wonder it is so peaceful here," said Kathryn.
"Yes," smiled the girl. "Now, let's try and find some peace for you. I can sense that you need it. Tell me, would you like to have a lucid dream today?"
"A lucid dream?" Chakotay had told her about those before but this didn't seem exactly the same.
"Yes, one where you control what happens. I find most often, lucid dreamers tend to enjoy flying. Another popular variation is sharing your dream with another lucid."
"Sharing?"
"Because of the unique energy of our planet, dreamers may interact while they sleep."
"Is it through telepathy?"
"No, we are not a telepathic race. The magnetism of our world simply acts as a conduit for the natural electricity produced by the brain. Were we to ever be off planet we would no longer have this ability."
"So if I dream of someone, they are dreaming with me?" She thought back to how she almost got in the bath tub with Chakotay right there.
"Not necessarily. While people can accidentally wander into your dreams, those individuals might only be creations of your own subconscious."
"How do I tell the difference?"
"If it's someone you know, ask them when you're awake." Andati laughed gently at the indignant look on Kathryn's face. "I'm sorry there's not a better way. The Lapharne can tell of course, but we have been perfecting the art of lucid dreaming for generations now. It is unlikely that two unpracticed individuals will find each other on the other side without aid or intent." Kathryn visibly relaxed and the sleep master smiled again. "Would you like to try? Lucid dreams tend to be the most restful."
"No," said Kathryn, "but could you help me finish a previous dream? I was woken up in the middle by my alarm and it was promising to be one of the best dreams I've ever had. Only, let it unfold on its own."
"Ah, another popular request. Very good," said Andati. "I will help you experience the image again but you will not realize it is a dream until you wake. Relax and concentrate only on the beginning of the sequence you wish to find." The young girl closed her eyes and took a deep breath through all six of her nostrils. As she did so, the green spots on her temples puffed up and seemed to blur as they took in the surrounding energy. Kathryn felt her own temples warm pleasantly under the girl's touch as she drifted off.
xxx
Tom, B'Elanna, and Harry had just finished their massages and were walking through the recreation district feeling invigorated and ready for anything. Looking around them, the atmosphere of the place promised a fun night. People were everywhere. The sun had just gone down and brightly colored lanterns lit the streets. They could see a parade passing by a few blocks up and from the splashing from across the square they could tell one of the fountains had been opened up for swimming.
"New to town?" A Lapharino pulled up in a carriage drawn by an enormous furry mammal of some kind. It drooled a lot but looked gentle enough. Tom went over to pat it.
"As a matter of fact we are," said B'Elanna.
"I could tell," said the driver, smiling. "Never seen species quite like you before."
"Where do you recommend we go?" asked Harry. "We only have one night and we don't want to miss anything."
"Well why don't you hop in," answered the driver. "I can take you around and you can pick when you've seen everything."
The three nodded at each other and climbed in the carriage. They all settled back into the white fluffy cushions as the driver spurred his animal forward.
"For a people who revolve their culture around sleeping, you sure do have an active night life," said Tom.
"You can sleep anytime, here," said the driver. "And besides, resting is so that you have energy to enjoy the waking hours, but here we even enjoy the sleeping ones."
"How's that?" asked B'Elanna.
"Why the dreams, ma'am," said the driver. "The natural energy of our planet promotes deep sleep, which gives you vivid dreams. The deeper the sleep the more rested the sleeper. You see it's a common misconception among humanoids that the number of hours you sleep matters most. Really, you just need to complete a sleep cycle and wake up at the proper end of it to feel fully rested."
The driver paused but the trio didn't say anything. He thought that was odd. Most people were surprised by that tid bit. One particularly huffy Tralonite had actually got upset that such a thing could be suggested and insisted that he be let off the carriage. The driver glanced around over his shoulder.
"You're awfully quite back there. Don't tell me you haven't been getting good sleep since you've come in range of Traloric III."
"No," said Harry, quickly. "We've all been sleeping great. Better than usual."
"I'm glad to hear it," said the driver. "And any interesting dreams?" he asked, turning around again to smile at them.
"No," said B'Elanna. "I don't dream that much."
"No?" the driver replied, disappointed. "Well, the energy affects every species a little differently. At least you're benefiting from the restful nature of it."
Tom sat sullenly. He certainly had been having vivid dreams. He looked up at B'Elanna and Harry who seemed to be trying not to make eye contact with him. He suddenly felt self conscious that maybe he'd been talking in his sleep the last few nights, but B'Elanna wouldn't tell Harry. What had those two been dreaming about? The mood of the carriage had grown suddenly tense.
A buxom street vendor walked past with a tray full of drinks and fell into step with the slow moving cart.
"Can I interest any of you in a flagon of ale?" she said.
"I'll take one," said Tom. For some reason he felt like it.
"I thought you didn't want to drink tonight," said B'Elanna.
"No, I just didn't feel like sitting in a bar, is all," he replied. "We go to Sandrine's all the time."
"In that case," said B'Elanna. "Harry?"
"I'll take one," Harry said.
"Three please," said B'Elanna. They all took a flagon and clinked ales. In a few minutes the spirit had lightened again.
"I heard some music earlier," said Harry. "Sounded jazzy."
"Yes," said the driver. "There is a woodwind concert over at the pavilion. Shall I take you there?"
"Sounds like a plan," said Tom. "Oh and in a little bit, I wouldn't be opposed to finding another one of those vendors."
"Oh don't worry," laughed the driver. "They'll find us."
xxx
Chakotay found himself in a wood he'd never seen in waking life, but he knew where to go. He had a vague idea he'd been here before but couldn't remember the details, just that he should keep walking. He stopped by a little stream and threw in a few pebbles. Chakotay noticed he was wearing his uniform. It felt out of place. The cool pleasantness under the bows was wholly absent of protocol and command structures. He thought about just taking it off and leaving it on the bank of the stream but that didn't seem right either.
"You're lingering," said a small voice. "She's waiting for you." Chakotay looked down to see a lizard sitting on some leaves on the forest floor. He was startled when he saw it—realizing the little creature was a spirit guide. Not his of course. His was female. The lizard scuttled off. Chakotay became curious as he followed. Who was she?
"Why is she waiting?" Chakotay found himself asking.
"Because she cannot come to you and you cannot go to her."
"Am I not going to her now?"
"No. You are following me."
As Chakotay came to the edge of the clearing, he noticed the lizard had gone. When he looked out into the canopied opening he saw the bath tub he had built years ago and on the other side of it, Kathryn. He walked up to his side of the tub and they smiled at each other.
With out a word, Chakotay stepped into the tub full of water, ignoring the fact that he was still fully dressed. He stood a moment, holding out his hand for Kathryn to join him. She took it and stepped into the bath also still in her Starfleet uniform. They slowly sank in the secure warmth of the water up to their shoulders and the tub seemed to grow to accommodate them both as they knelt into its depths.
Kathryn's face was solemn as she began meticulously cleansing Chakotay, rubbing down every last inch of his body with her fairy like fingers. Where ever she rubbed, his uniform faded slowly and disappeared into nothing. When she had finished washing him, she leaned back into the tub to soak. It was now his turn.
Chakotay began with a foot, massaging until the boot was gone. He placed the foot on his shoulder and moved to her leg. Once the calf was bare he longed to press his lips to it but somehow he knew there would be no caresses until the work was done. He concentrated hard on repeating the thoroughness she had shown him, his fingers and eyes carefully memorizing every square inch of her as he went along. He lingered for a bit here and there; the curve of her waist, the pattern of freckles near her belly button.
When Chakotay was finished, Kathryn sat up and they faced each other again. The tub seemed to expand still further and they let themselves sink below the surface. Another world met them under the water and they found they could breathe as well as ever. They looked on each other with new eyes, baptized afresh and free from all the restraints of the life they knew. Tiny white bubbles swirled around them, tickling their skin. Chakotay and Kathryn smiled again as they drifted closer together, letting their lips brush against each other's.
The bubbles sped up around them, growing denser. Chakotay grabbed Kathryn by the waist kissing her deeply, twisting himself around her and spinning them into the current of bubbles that was pushing them again to the surface.
They held tight to each other as they rose back into the canopied clearing of the forest. The bathtub was no more, dissolved into the foamy cloud that now buoyed them up and was forming into a round bed covered in billowy white blankets. When the clouds finally settled, Chakotay laid Kathryn down amidst the dappled light sneaking in through the trees.
xxx
Even though their ears were all ringing, the concert had been worth the stop. Tom, Harry, and B'Elanna were now taking a peek at the parade. Brightly lit floats skimmed by and the crowd cheered the acrobats that flipped down the street. The three officers cheered right along, although Tom might have been a little over enthusiastic. Harry and B'Elanna had been steering him away from the vendors for an hour now.
"So Harry," said Tom, "you gonna take up the Gargellian sax when we get back?"
"Only if I grow two extra arms between now and then."
"I could probably program some for you on the holodeck," said B'Elanna.
"Even so," said Harry, "I don't think I'll ever be as fast as he was. Did you see his fingers flying around?"
"No," laughed Tom. "They were just a blur."
"Yeah," answered Harry. "And some of those chords he was putting out…it was like he was playing three different instruments."
"The percussion section could have been a little quieter," said B'Elanna, rubbing an ear. "I'm not going to be able to hear right for a week."
"Just have a drink," said Tom. "You won't notice as much. The Doc can fix it when we get back."
"Tom, are you sure you need another one?"
"I'm fine. Hey!" he yelled, spotting a vendor. "We need another round over here!" A short little Lapharino vendor pushed his way through the crowd to get to Tom.
"Hello sir! Would you like to try….." the vendor trailed off. Tom looked down at the alien, barely a meter and a half high, holding a tray full of smoking red drinks. This time, through the haze, Tom got a good look at his face.
"You!"
The vendor's tray crashed to the ground and he gave a little squeal as he darted off into the crowd. Tom growled in anger and ran off after him. Harry and B'Elanna followed quickly, apologizing to the people as Tom shoved them out of the way. The alien darted through the crowd down the street and ducked into a pub. The trio went in after him but stopped short in the doorway. B'Elanna gasped as she saw the small artificial waterfall on the far wall and the same red smoking drinks being served that the vendor had carried. Tom looked back and forth at B'Elanna and Harry reading their expressions.
"You two have been here before, haven't you," he said.
"Not in real life," said Harry.
"The dream," said Tom.
"I'm guessing…" B'Elanna started but she never got to finish. The three of them were nearly bowled over by the little vendor trying to bolt for the door.
"Oh no you don't," said Tom, grabbing him by the arm.
"I'm sorry," whimpered the alien. "I didn't realize you were real. I…"
Tom wasn't listening. He pulled back his arm and punched the vendor in the face. The alien went flying and Tom was on top of him in an instant. He got in a few more hits before B'Elanna and Harry pulled him off. A much larger alien stepped up to him.
"You shouldn't mess with my vendors," growled the Lapharino bouncer, and he punched Tom in the stomach.
"Hey!" yelled someone in the crowd. "He'd already stopped! Just throw him out and be done." The bouncer turned to the patron.
"Don't tell me what to do in my…" but he never got to finish. Tom had returned the blow to the abdomen and the bouncer doubled over. Standing up to face Tom again, he growled even more fiercely. Determined to be brave this time, Tom pummeled him. Harry and B'Elanna tried to jump in but other pub employees got in the way. A table was up ended as Harry was tossed into it. The angry customers at the table joined the fray on behalf of the Starfleet crew. Not wanting to see their bar staff be outnumbered, some of the regulars came in on the side of the pub employees and an all out bar brawl ensued. Glasses broke everywhere. A Lapharino was tossed into the street through the front window and the whole time the little vendor hid in the corner.
"Two shots says the gal with the cranial ridges cleans up everybody," said the bartender to his bar back.
"You're on."
xxx
Janeway hadn't looked at the report she was holding for at least fifteen minutes. She sat at her desk staring at the wall across the room, reviewing the dream she'd had this afternoon with a satisfied little smirk on her face. It had felt very real, though that had faded when she woke. Andati said she'd only been asleep for half an hour but it had seemed like much longer. She certainly felt invigorated. Janeway just hoped she'd be able to get the images out of her mind before dinner tonight. She was startled out of her thoughts when Seven of Nine walked into her ready room and handed her a padd. Seven was moving a little slowly and was beet red.
"Seven, are you alright?" asked the Captain.
"I am fine. I am merely sunburnt."
"You didn't put on any lotion?"
"Many of the crew seemed to be looking forward to getting a tan. I thought I would try the experience myself. Apparently my skin does not have the tolerance for UV radiation that others do."
"You have to build up to it," said Janeway. "The Doctor could probably give you an aloe treatment for the burn."
Seven raised her eyebrow irritably.
"I've tried," she said. "Currently, it is impossible to see the Doctor unless you are near death."
"Oh?"
"He has been studying dream symbolism. Due to the energy of the planet, the crew has been experiencing exceptionally unusual dreams and are anxious to discover what they might mean."
"Really," said Janeway.
"I'm told there is quite a deal of psychological research to support some of his claims. Not all of his interpretations seem to be irrelevant."
"Well maybe I'll have to pay the Doctor a visit myself"
xxx
Janeway walked into sick bay and then nearly turned right around and walked back out, but the Doctor had seen her already. He nodded at her to wait as he tried to distribute padds and organize the small group of crewmen that were clamoring for his attention.
"Now review these copies of Jung thoroughly and then we can schedule individual consultations. Captain," said the Doctor cheerily, when the crewmen left. "What can I do for you?"
She hesitated again then thought, what the hell.
"I hear, Doctor, you've become the resident dream expert," she said.
"Oh, I wouldn't say expert," chuckled the Doctor. "I've merely been putting my latest additions to my database to good use. Did you have a dream you'd like to examine more closely?"
"No, well, I just had a few general questions..." she spluttered out.
"I assure you, Captain," said the Doctor, reading her hesitation. "Dream interpretation falls under the realm of doctor-patient confidentiality." Janeway relaxed a little.
"It's just that I've been dreaming about...another crew member."
"Was it an intimate dream? Don't be so shocked. I assumed as much by your hesitation."
"Alright. Yes it was."
The Doctor smiled.
"I see no reason to be upset. People have dreams involving nudity and intimacy all the time. It doesn't necessarily mean that you want that with this individual, however."
"What does it mean, then?"
"Nudity generally represents the inner self. If you are naked with someone else, how you feel about it says how you feel about expressing the 'real you' to this person."
"I was comfortable."
"Well then, I would think that you are very close to them, or would like to be. Were they naked as well?"
"Yes."
"That would imply you would like to know their inner self. If it was a sexual dream, I would say you are longing for a deeper connection."
"But it doesn't mean I want to sleep with them?"
"Well it could, of course."
"Thank you Doctor. I'll keep what you said in mind." By the confused look on Janeway's face, he was not sure he'd helped.
xxx
It was almost time. Time to exit the grey walls of his room again. Time to feel alive again. It was rare he had such a ready victim, someone so generally open and trusting. Most who traveled on starships had a natural wariness to them but not this one. He hoped this one's ship would stay docked for a long time. The cold bleak hospital room around him slowly faded and he was enveloped in the warmth of the other side. Slowly he glided through the door of his prison. Solid walls could not restrain him here. There was the victim. The Talaxian. He could tell he was afraid of him. He'd let him run a little further tonight, think he can get away. Tonight he had something special planned. The Talaxian would watch as his organs were removed and eaten.
Something was wrong. The victim wasn't running. The Lapharino stopped and took a deep breath through his six nostrils and felt his temples warm, sending more influence out through the planet's field. The Talaxian's gaze faltered and he stumbled but drug himself back to his feet, and stared his attacker in the eye.
"Not tonight," he said angrily. A sharp pain went through the Lapharino's temples and he shook his head to rid himself of it. He breathed again and sent out more quelling thoughts but the Talaxian resisted him. They struggled, mind against mind, until at last the Lapharino let out a yelp of pain and everything went to an opaque grey.
Neelix awoke in his room with the same yelp, but barely conscious of where he was. He stumbled out of bed and made it all the way to the corridor before he collapsed.
xxx
"Kathryn?" Chakotay said from across the dinner table. They had finished eating and were now sipping on the Lapharnio cider Kathryn had found at the market today. She had drifted off. "I asked how the trip to the Sleep Master was."
"I'm sorry," she laughed. "I guess it was a little too good. I'm still thinking about it."
"Sounds wonderful," he answered. "And you said earlier her spots actually puffed up?"
"Yes. I think they harness the energy of the planet."
"It makes sense. The Lapharne evolved on Traloric III. Their traits most likely are very fine tuned to it. More cider?"
"Yes please."
Chakotay stood and leaned over to pour some in her glass. He was in civilian clothes tonight like she was and the collar of his shirt was a little wider than usual. It drooped to the side as he sat back down revealing the meaty muscle that curved between his neck and shoulder. She bit her lip remembering a part of the dream where that exact muscle had been hovering above her while she lay in the billowy white cloud.
"Kathryn?" She'd tuned out again. "If you're tired still, we can call it a night. You're stuck with me all day tomorrow, anyway."
"No, I'm fine," she said. "Maybe I just need some coffee."
"I'll get it." Chakotay got up and replicated a cup and set it down in front of her. This time it was his arm peeking out of his rolled up sleeve that distracted her. She'd liked how it had felt wrapped tightly around her, big and strong. Being completely encircled by it made her feel very tiny in comparison. She wondered how accurate her dream was.
"As I was saying," he smiled at her, again returning to his seat. "I wanted to visit the spa tomorrow and since you didn't get to go to the whirlpool room today, I thought maybe we could go together."
"The whirlpool room?"
"I'm sorry," he said, quickly. She thought she'd caught the glint in his eye again. "I wasn't suggesting we take a bath together. I was more interested in the steam room."
"Oh. No. I didn't think...That sounds like fun."
Chakotay smiled and downed his glass of cider.
"You're tired," he said. "I'll help you clean up and we'll get an early start tomorrow."
He stood and began picking up dishes but she also rose and put a hand on his to stop him. They straightened up slowly, facing each other, inches apart.
"You don't have to clean up," she said.
"It's no trouble," he replied quietly.
"We should at least finish the cider before you go. I'd hate to have it spoil."
He looked questioningly into her eyes.
"I'll stay if you want me to," he whispered, finally.
Kathryn tilted her face a little more up to his. Was he suggesting...He seemed to be moving gradually closer to her. As much as she felt this was an unforgiveable breach in protocol the emotions left over from the dream today still coursed through her. She wouldn't make the first move but she wouldn't stop him either.
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."
She sighed.
"What is it, Tuvok?"
"I have an incoming transmission from Magistrate Dirideon."
"Can you take a message?"
"I'm afraid some of the crew are in jail. He wants to know if you would like to come down and retrieve them."
"Fine. Put it through to my quarters."
She looked at Chakotay. He smiled sadly and shrugged. The moment was gone.
xxx
Janeway walked into Magistrate Dirideon's office with more than a little trepidation. He hadn't said much when she talked to him earlier, only that the Lapharne preferred to have a representative from the alien culture present before any proceedings took place.
"Captain Janeway," said Dirideon, rising to greet her. "Thank you for coming. I'm sorry we're not meeting again under more pleasant circumstances."
"I hope my people have caused too much trouble, Magistrate," she said, thankful his greeting was at least friendly. He frowned.
"We'll see how you feel after the questioning," he replied. Janeway grew worried again. He tapped his communications device and called his guard to bring in the people from the bar incident. Great. This whole situation was probably nothing but she had a feeling it would end up embarrassing.
When the door opened, Tom, B'Elanna, and Harry were led in followed by the little vendor and the much larger grim looking Lapharino bouncer. All of them, including the big Lapharino, looked a little worse for wear. Janeway could tell they'd all been in a fight. Her crewmen looked a little sheepish as soon as they saw their Captain standing there with her hands on her hips. They all took seats in the room and the Magistrate consulted his monitor.
"Tom Paris, Harry Kim, and B'Elanna Torres?" asked Dirideon. The three nodded. "And you are Achette?" The little vendor squeaked in the affirmative. "And you are Dugibbon?"
"I am," said the big Lapharino.
"Now all we are going to do here is review your statements and decide how we would like to proceed. What I ask of each of you, is to answer as honestly as possible. This is an informal inquiry. Should it be carried to the courts, you will be offered council. Nothing stated in this room will be admissible unless restated at the time of trial. Is that clear?" Everyone nodded.
"Dugibbon," the Magistrate began. "You work as security for the Falls Pub?"
"I do."
Dirideon continued to look at the monitor.
"It says here that witnesses report that you continued to attack Tom Paris, here, after his assault on Achette had already been stopped. Why did you not simply remove him from the pub?"
"Achette is my friend," said Dugibbon gruffly. "I get tired of people picking on him. I suppose I was angry."
"I see," said Dirideon. "Now, Paris. Why did you assault Achette in the first place?" Tom opened his mouth and closed it again, unable to find the words. He was feeling very guilty about drunkenly beating up an alien half his size.
"I can tell you don't care to say," said Dirdeon. "Achette, do you have any idea why Paris attacked you?"
"Yes," he replied in a very small voice.
"Will you please elaborate."
"I've been trying to start a fight with Paris for the last three nights," said Achette. Janeway looked confused but seemed to be the only one. "I didn't realize they were real."
"These were lucid dreams?"
"Yes."
"And all three of these people were in them?"
"They were."
"And you couldn't tell they were real?"
"No. You know it's hard to tell with aliens."
"Paris, when did you understand you had interacted with a Lapharino in your dream?"
"When I saw his face."
"So you did not try to stop him in the dream?"
"I couldn't. Something just made me hide."
"Harry Kim, did you have a similar experience?"
"Yeah," said Harry. "I kept egging Tom on."
"Is that something you would normally do under similar circumstances?"
"Never."
"B'Elanna Torres, Tom Paris is your husband?"
"Yes."
"Would you say that confronted with a fight, you would jump in on his behalf?"
"I think we established that this evening."
"Achette. You admit to having lucid dreams where you attempted to start a fight with an unknown alien. From their accounts, I have reason to believe you were controlling the behavior of both Harry Kim and Tom Paris in these dreams. Can you explain how you did not know that these people were real?"
"Well," he started, looking embarrassed. "I used to use customers that pushed me around before, but that got me into trouble, so I started making up aliens. I just thought they were some of those."
"And you didn't wonder when you couldn't control the behavior of B'Elanna Torres?"
"I'm not a very good lucid," he said sadly.
"I see," Dirideon turned warily to Tom. "Now, it's down to you. I believe we've established that you willfully assaulted a Lapharino. Your motives are understandable considering you had no idea you were being imposed upon or that you had any legal recourse but you are still responsible for your own actions. I assume starting a drunken brawl is unacceptable in your culture?" he asked of Janeway. She nodded with a sour look on her face. "In light of that, I will leave his punishment to you, Captain, in accordance to whatever your laws or regulations deem appropriate. As far as we're concerned, I must ask Tom Paris to leave Traloric III and return to his ship, unless he decides to press charges."
"I'm confused," said Janeway. "I thought you were going to leave Mr. Paris' punishment to me."
"No, unless Tom Paris wants to press charges against Achette for assault."
"Why would I do that?" asked Tom.
"On Traloric III, the Lapharne consider crimes committed during lucid dreams to be every bit as serious as those committed in waking hours. Sometimes more so because of the intrusive nature of breaking into someone's mind. In this case, the situation was simple, since Achette fully admitted he was lucid. It becomes more complicated when the perpetrator chooses to deny he knew what he was doing. If the lucid is extremely practiced, he can cover his intent."
"I get it," said Tom. He turned to Achette. "Look, I'll forget the whole thing if you do."
"I'd like to," said the little vendor. "Again, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept trying, especially after your wife beat me up the third time."
"Yeah well, let's forget it," said Tom quickly. Dirideon smiled.
"I'm glad we could get this resolved without too much unpleasantness," he said standing. "Captain, I hope this won't deter the rest of the crew from enjoying the planet during the remainder of your dock."
"Thank you, for your understanding, Magistrate," said Janeway, also standing. "We'll be sure to..."
"Captain, wait a moment," said Tom. She shot him a warning look. He turned to Dirideon. "I'm not the only one who's been visited by a Lapharino."
"What do you mean, Tom?" Janeway asked.
"Neelix," he answered. "When I was working in sick bay the other day, he came in asking for something to help him sleep. He said he needed it because he kept getting murdered by a Lapharino in his dreams."
"I didn't do it! I didn't..." squealed Achette. Dugibbon patted him gently on the shoulder, shaking his head, to silence him. Dirideon's expression became concerned.
"This is not good news," he said. "I know that it's late, Captain, but I would like to investigate this immediately, if you don't mind."
"Not at all," she said, looking worried in her turn. "Come up to the ship. We'll talk to Neelix."
xxx
Janeway walked into sick bay, followed by Dirideon and Andati. The magistrate had insisted upon bringing a Sleep Master when they found out Neelix was unconscious. Chakotay and Tuvok were already present. The Doctor was scanning Neelix and shaking his head.
"His neural pathways have taken a great deal of damage," he said to Janeway. "Tuvok was suggesting a mind meld to find the cause of this, but I highly discourage it."
"That would be very unwise," said Andati, walking over to Neelix and laying a gentle hand on his forehead. "It seems I can assume from the name of the procedure that those involved in a mind meld share thoughts?" she asked of Tuvok. He nodded.
"You would be putting yourself at risk," said the Magistrate. "You might easily suffer the same fate as this man here."
"Then what do we do?" asked Janeway.
"Might I suggest that you allow me to invoke a lucid dream for both Tuvok and Neelix?" said Andati.
"How would that help?" asked Chakotay.
"Are you familiar with lucid dreams in general?" she asked him.
"I am," he replied. "Dreams where you're aware of what you're doing."
"Precisely, but the magnetism of our world lets dreamers interact."
"It does?" Chakotay's face was expressionless. Janeway wasn't exactly sure how to interpret it.
"Yes, but each of their minds would be independent and able to act of their own free will. Neelix will simply have to allow Tuvok into his thoughts."
Chakotay's forehead wrinkled. Andati placed a gentle hand on his arm.
"Do not worry," she said. "The only danger is in cases like we see with Neelix now, when one attempts to intrude and the other resists. May I assume Neelix trusts you?" she asked Tuvok.
"I believe he does," said Tuvok.
"Good." She turned back to Chakotay. "I also believe from my session with him earlier, that Tuvok possesses the mental discipline necessary to block the intruder and help discover his identity, so you see, you need not fear for your crewmen."
Chakotay seemed thoughtful for a moment and Janeway thought she saw him almost imperceptibly shake his head.
"That's good to know. Doctor, Captain? What do you think?"
"Well," said the Doctor, "I've had many of the crew pay a visit to the Sleep Masters and we've been under the influence of the planet for at least four nights now with no ill effects. From a medical stand point it seems safe."
"It also seems like the only option," said Janeway. "Let's do it."
xxx
Janeway was exhausted as she made her way back to quarters. Even though Neelix's attacker had only taken a fifteen minute nap to find and no effort on her part, any extra energy she had gained from Andati that afternoon was effectively gone. Now that she knew Neelix would be alright, she felt she ought to try and get some sleep before the proceedings tomorrow. She doubted they would be as straightforward as Tom's had been.
As she dressed for bed, she wondered what her dreams would be like tonight. She understood the vividness of them was unavoidable and she doubted she'd be able to control where they went as mentally spent as she felt right now. But knowing they could be really happening, would she allow herself to find him? Was he really there? So much of what had almost happened in her quarters earlier appalled her sense of propriety but somewhere deep down, the tiny devil inside her wished she had let it happen. She laid her head down on the pillow and was asleep before she had much more time to think it over.
xxx
Kathryn found herself in the clearing next to the fluffy white bed, which seemed to swirl cloudlike in front of her. This time, she was wearing a white linen dress. She felt as if she'd been waiting for a long time but couldn't pinpoint what for. For him? Not exactly. Answers. Her spirit guide scuttled up to her from the forest.
"You're troubled, Kathryn," he said. "You have many questions but only he can give you the information you need."
"He's not here."
"He will be, when you're ready for him."
"How do I know if what he says is true?"
"You must ask him during waking hours," replied the lizard.
"I can't... I can't tell him about this place. What if he wasn't really here?"
"Then tell him about me. I give you my permission."
"How will that help?"
"He has seen me here. If it truly was his spirit that met yours, he will understand."
Doubt filled Kathryn's face. What if he really had met her? What would the consequences be? The bed faded a little. She had almost let him kiss her in her quarters. That would have been wrong. Her dreams were influencing her to break her own rules. The encounters should not continue. The bed was almost transparent.
"You doubt yourself?" asked the lizard.
"I'm doubting my behavior," she answered.
"Keep this in mind: I am your spirit guide, not his. You must have needed him to allow me to seek him out and even with the aid of the planet's energy, I could not have brought him had he not needed you."
"Aid and intent," muttered Kathryn, to herself. "So my dreams are real." The bed disappeared entirely.
"Only he can answer that," he reminded her. "He is coming." The lizard moved off into the trees. Kathryn looked up and saw Chakotay walking towards her, also dressed in white linen. She supposed the Doctor would say that white represented purity, innocence, but she didn't feel innocent. She felt guilty for the things she'd done in the previous dream and almost done in the waking world because of it. She wondered if he loved her or not and which answer would be worse. He stood before her now, at a respectable distance with his hands in his pockets. She supposed in the omnipotence of the dream world, he could sense her doubt.
"Are you real?" she finally asked him.
"I feel real," he answered.
"Yes, but everything you say could be a fabrication of my own mind."
"It could."
"Then what do we do?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
Kathryn's face fell. She was even more conflicted than ever. Chakotay maintained his distance.
"I understand how you feel," he said,"and I know how important protocol is to you. I'll go, if that's what you want."
"Promise me, if you are here, you'll never speak a word about what happened while we're awake. Then I can pretend the answer is whatever I want it to be at the time."
"I promise, Kathryn. You have my word." His shoulders slumped and he began to walk away.
"Chakotay," she called after him. "I never said go."
He quickly turned back around and was to her in only a few quick strides. She threw her arms around his neck as he lifted her to him, and kissed him as violently as he kissed her. Chakotay pulled away and began unbuttoning her linen dress as the bed slowly swirled back into existence.
xxx
Chakotay handed Janeway yet another padd as they stepped off the turbolift.
"That's the last of the reports," he said. "According to sensors, we should be out of Traloric III's magnetic field in a few hours."
"No more crazy dreams," she said with a wry smile.
"Did you have any interesting ones?" asked Chakotay.
"A few. You?"
"A few."
Janeway and Chakotay paused in the corridor before they went their separate ways.
"Did you ever get a chance to try the whirlpool room at the spa?" he asked. They'd never found time to go down together with Neelix's proceedings.
"Yes," she said. "It was a good bath but not the best I ever had."
"What was the best?"
"It was a bath I had in the tub you built, actually."
"It must have been very good if you still remember it this well."
"I think I'll remember it for a long time."
Chakotay smiled at her. Kathryn thought she caught that look again. She opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it. As Chakotay started to walk away, however, she threw caution to the wind.
"Chakotay?"
"Yes?"
"My spirit guide is a lizard."
Chakotay looked surprised and a little shocked.
"I don't think you're supposed to be telling me that, Kathryn."
"It's ok. He gave me permission to tell you." She was disappointed and relieved all at the same time.
"Why would he do that?" he asked, wrinkling his brow.
"I'm not sure," said Kathryn, searching Chakotay's face.
"Maybe it's something we're meant to figure out farther down the road," he answered, smiling broadly at her. She returned his grin.
"Yes, I think you're right. Good night, Commander."
"Good night, Captain." A promise is a promise.
Chakotay smiled to himself as he walked away down the corridor, reviewing in his mind the exact pattern of freckles next to her belly button.