Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Dean, Sam, John and Pastor Jim. They belong to the wonderful Eric Kripke. The rest are figments of my imagination.
I'm going back to school today
But I'm dropping myself off
I'm throwing the childhood scenes away
I'm through ripping myself off
I'm done ripping myself off
Well I'm child and man and child again
The toy broken boy soldier
Broken Boy Soldier
By The Raconteurs
"Dean we were raised like soldiers," Sam said angrily.
Not that crap about soldiers again that thought Dean.
Sam and Dean were sitting in their motel room. They had just received a text message of coordinates from their dad and Sam was pissed. He felt like they were being ordered around like when they were children. He couldn't stand it.
"Do we have to have this argument again," said an exasperated Dean.
"Dean don't you ever get tired of being ordered around. I mean it's been like this since we were kids," said Sam.
"Sam, Dad was just doing what he thought was best," said Dean.
"Come on Dean, there could have been another way. One that didn't involve raising us like soldiers." countered Sam.
"Dad wasn't always like this. You don't know what happened back then to change him. You were too young to remember," said Dean.
"Remember what, remember Mom. I know I don't remember Mom," said Sam looking hurt.
"I didn't mean that Sam, I'm sorry. I meant something else," said Dean suddenly wishing he hadn't said anything at all.
"Well then, what are you talking about?" asked Sam.
"Forget it. Let's just drop it," said Dean hoping he would.
Dean had a strange look on his face like he remembered something that he spent years trying to forget.
"No Dean, you brought it up. I want to know what you're talking about. What don't I remember?" said Sam getting mad at Dean's evasiveness.
Dean began to look a little uneasy. He hadn't thought about this in a long time and he really didn't want to discuss it now. He remained silent staring off into space. He wished that Sam would just let it drop. Dean sat on the edge of the bed for a long time not saying anything.
Sam was beginning to worry. He hadn't really wanted to fight with Dean and now Dean's silence was beginning to unnerve him. He knew Dean didn't like to talk much, but Sam could tell that something was really upsetting him.
"Dean, please talk to me," pleaded a worried Sam.
Dean looked over at Sam. He stared at him for a few seconds before turning to look at the floor. He could tell that Sam was worried about him. Dean heaved a big sigh and finally began to speak.
"It was the summer of 1984. I was five and you were one. We were staying with Pastor Jim's sister Evie and her husband Mark, at their house. It was just outside of Kansas City. Dad had just got back from a hunt," began Dean.
FlashbackJohn Winchester had just returned from a hunt. He quietly entered the bedroom where his sons were sleeping. It was late, but he hadn't seen his sons in over two weeks. John stood there for a few minutes watching his children sleeping peacefully, before quietly exiting. He headed back downstairs. He joined Jim, Evie and Mark in the family room.
"Are they still sleeping?" Evie asked.
"Don't worry I didn't wake them. I just needed to see them," answered John.
"You know John I love having the boys here, but you could take them with you," said Evie.
"I want them to have as normal a childhood as possible. If they came with me, they wouldn't have that," sighed John.
"They really miss you when you're not here," said Mark.
"I miss them too," said John.
"So how long will you here for?" asked Jim.
"Well, I hope to stick around here for a while," said John.
"Good, because those boys need you," Jim said.
The next morning after breakfast, John decided to take Sam and Dean to the park. He packed up Sam's diaper bag and they left. When they arrived at the park, Dean noticed several kids kicking around a soccer ball. He wanted to go join them.
"Daddy, can I go play with them," Dean asked excitedly.
"Sure son, just don't wander off," said John.
John watched Dean run over and join the other kids. He smiled to himself. Dean was a good kid. John knew he didn't have to worry about Dean wandering off. He would never go anywhere, without asking his dad first.
John took Sam over to the swings and put him in the baby swing. Sam squealed with delight. John was still able to keep an eye on Dean while pushing Sam in the swing.
After a while Dean walked over to the swings. The other kids had left with their parents to go home for lunch.
"Did you have fun playing with the other kids?" John asked.
Yes, but they had to leave. Push me Daddy," said Dean sitting on a swing.
John began pushing Dean in the swing.
"Higher, daddy, higher," said Dean.
John smiled. He loved these times with his children. Sam and Dean being kids and having fun. Suddenly, there was a foul odor in the air. It was coming from Sam's diapers.
"Ewwww!" said Dean making a face.
John hated these times when Sam had a stinky diaper. He pulled Sam up out of the swing and took him over to a picnic to change him. Dean was still in sitting in his swing.
After John changed Sam, he looked around for a trash can to dispose of the stinky diaper. He didn't see one close by. He looked over at Dean happily swinging away. I'll only be gone for a second John thought.
"Dean I'll be right back. I have to find a trash can for Sam's diaper," said John.
"Okay Daddy," said Dean.
John, carrying Sam on his hip, walked around for a few seconds, not seeing a trash can. Man Sam's diaper really stinks he thought with a grimace. Finally he spotted a trashcan about fifty yards away. He walked over and put the smelly diaper in the can. He turned around and walked back towards the swings.
John felt like his heart stopped. The swings were empty. Dean was nowhere in sight. The one Dean had been sitting on was still swinging, but he was not in it. John started looking around, but he didn't seen Dean anywhere. He was now beginning to panic.
"Dean, where are you? Dean!" shouted a frantic John.
There was no response. John kept shouting his son's name, but got no response.
More to Come
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