AN: Spoilers for chapter 392 ahead.

The Only Regret

"My family…" Gray said from behind the older dark haired man as Silver looked confused and muttered something the Fairy Tail Mage couldn't hear. "And Ur's revenge…"

"Shi-" Silver mouthed.

'I didn't want you to die, so I stopped you, but… Could you not hear my voice?' Natsu's voice echoed through his mind and he had a flashback of the pink haired Dragon Slayer.

Fuck, he promised not to do Iced Shell back then, didn't he? Natsu would be so pissed at him for breaking his promise more than dying and Gray couldn't even argue from his upcoming ice form, even though technically he would still be alive.

Damn, he would miss going to Lucy's to prepare for a mission or just for the heck of it. She was a nice girl and she would be fine with Natsu having her back and her having his – he felt a tad protective (maybe like a big brother now? He couldn't know, he never had blood siblings) of the blonde woman ever since she proved more than worthy to wear the Guild Mark. Oh, there was Wendy too. She was everyone's little sister even if she had the strength of a Dragon; she would try to search a cure for it – it was just who she was –, but she couldn't. He hoped someone would explain to her that it was his choice and that there was nothing to be done.

Erza. Damn, Erza would be even more pissed at him than Natsu! They knew each other from pretty much when their lives had gotten out of the crapper and she was his first crush, the first love, but it would never be right, not when she loved another one. So, he let it go and they became more than friends. She always looked out for him and Gray tried his best to not hurt her in any way; their lives had been shitty enough without the additional pain. Someone else would need to protect one of the strongest women he knew and that were a tough job. Natsu would take care of that, alongside with the rest of the Guild.

Elfman, with his tough exterior, had actually a soft heart and he would grieve for Gray, but eventually would understand it. If something happened and he could've revenge Mira and Lisanna, he would. Elfman was truly a man and he would understand his sacrifice deep down.

Mira wouldn't; she would feel like losing Lisanna all over again, he bet, because if it were the other way around, he would feel the same way, but if he knew someone strong, was Mirajane Strauss and she would hold it together and take care of everything, especially of Cana.

Cana had been his first kiss and as much as it just makes his stomach turn in thinking about her in a sexual way, she had been very cute and when they were eleven, they kissed and it was, as most first kisses go, all gooey and without any technique. After that, they never saw each other as more than just good friends and for years, they had been each other's only drinking buddies they had and she had been his 'wingman' more times than not. She was his best female friend and it wouldn't go easy on her.

Gajeel's face popped in his mind and he didn't know exactly why. They had known each other for what? A little over a year? But damn, they had faced some serious shit during that time, more than most people faced their whole lives! He would miss the bastard and he'd like to think that he would be missed as well.

Now it was Lyon's turn to appear on his mind and Gray wished he had been there. So many years of the other Ice Mage hating him, so many disagreements because of that day they lost their teacher… To end the final link to Ur without him would've been wrong, but it needed to be done. It had to stop. Maybe with that Lyon's darkness could never surface again like Ur did for him...

Oh, damn… Ur. Would she be disappointed at him? She'd probably hit him on the head and tell him to stop being stupid and that revenge didn't end up with a happy ending. And for more than a decade, he tried his best to move on with his life, to let go and forget, but there was always something that reminded him of her sacrifice and now he was about to make the same one. Maybe one day, when his life force was over, he'd melt to the sea to meet her and ask forgiveness, after all she was there on the blue ocean and…

Juvia.

Her smiling face appeared on his mind as she called him 'Gray-sama' in the always so affectionate way and it was as if someone with the coldest of hands grabbed his heart and squeezed it. All he did was push her away, didn't it? It was his way to protecting himself, it was the way to try not to care, but he cared for her, didn't he? And what he had to take with him? Harsh words, a few one sided hugs, her words of love and their Unison Raid (that he was too much of a coward to face its true roots); he did give his life for her, because it was the right thing to do, and then he had a second chance and he did nothing about it.

He lived in such fear of his feelings that he never had the balls to even try, he never kissed her, he never held her the way she was supposed to be held and he never told her how much she meant to him.

Gray would miss all of his friends, but the only one he would regret was Juvia. He would forever regret the times when she tried to take care of him and he snapped at her because he was supposed to do things on his. He would forever wonder how was it to make her giggle when they were alone, he would never know how it was to be with someone he loved and loved him back ten times more.

Gray closed his eyes. He had to focus, he had to do this and if he thought a moment longer, he would be weak and he would give up dying for the sake of his friends. That ended today.

'I'm sorry.' He had no idea to whom he was apologizing, if it was for all of them, if it was for her, if it was for himself. He was going to do it.

"ICED SHELL!" Gray yelled and he could feel his magical power do its job and he saw his power go straight to the older man in front of him, who started to yell, but Gray wasn't impressed; he was…

Ultear's face, so much like her mother's, appeared inside his head and even in the middle of the spell while he was pouring his strength into it, he hesitated and that's when the other man attacked.

"Ice does not…" The man prepared himself to take in the attack "work on me!" All Gray could do, was stare in shock when the man yelled: "Your Iced Shell has been broken!" but the younger Mage was actually dawning onto something he, in the midst of the battle and mixed feelings, had forgotten. Ultear had given her own life to save him, just like her mother had done it and he promised to himself that he would live for her as well. His life was no longer just his own.

'I'm sorry, everyone…' While Silver destroyed Gray's clone, the real one prepared himself for the attack; 'I was about to forget something very important…' Silver said something, but the only thing in Gray's mind was: 'I refuse to die!' A flash of memory about the way Juvia yelled his name when he died on the first time and the way she had to hide her tears from him when they realized it was a déjà vu passed through his mind. 'Because I don't want to see my friends' tears.'

This ended today, just not the way he thought it would. He would come out of this fight alive and once Fairy Tail was reunited again, he would live with no regrets.

#

Later on when Juvia ran towards him and fussed over his injuries, all Gray did was to wave off her worries and put his arms around her and for a moment, Juvia thought that he was going to pass out and when she tried to move so he could put an arm around her shoulders so the blunette could help him walk, Gray just tightened his hold on her.

Understanding that he was doing exactly what he wanted and not by accident, Juvia put her own arms around him slowly, careful not to touch the injuries on his back. Gray hid his face on the crook of her neck and Juvia just held him. "Are you okay?" She asked quietly.

"I am now."

#

AN: Yes I added a little omake there in the end because I truly believe that there's a hug coming and also: I stole Neji's line (from Naruto) and used here for the Ultear thing because it was more than fitting. It was beautiful that even though he was ready to die, the thought that Ultear saved his life before stopped him and made him remember that he didn't want to die because he had a lot of things to get done. (Making babies with Juvia is one of them.)

And yes, I do think that we 'won' because it's now plain as day that she means much more to him than anyone though: she was his last thought, the last face he wanted to remember before Iced Shell.

07/11/2014 ~ BonneyQ