CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR
A fanfic by Numbuh 88
(Based on characters created by Tom Warburton)
NOW LOADING...
KIDS NEXT DOOR MISSION
OPERATION
S.P.I.T.F.I.R.E.
Scary
Pet
In
Tree-house
Forget
It,
Reprehensible
Enemies!
Cast:
Numbuh 1 (Nigel Uno)
Numbuh 2 (Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr.)
Numbuh 3 (Kuki Sanban)
Numbuh 4 (Wallabee "Wally" Beatles)
Numbuh 5 (Abigail "Abby" Lincoln)
Stickybeard
Chester
EXTERIOR: ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE- WINTER
(We see rolling hills covered in snow, with mountains in the background, and we hear sweet, pastoral music. But it is soon usurped by the load roar of a snowmobile. Its rider is Chester, wearing a heavy winter coat and goggles, and he has a hoard of jewels in his backpack.)
CHESTER: Ho! Ho! Ho! Yes! With the jewels of King Thaddeus I can finally get back into business! Even the Kids Next Door won't be able to stop me!
(Suddenly, a laser blast is seen, and as Chester looks up, he sees the C.O.O.L.B.U.S. in the air, chasing him. Numbuh 1 is seen standing in the open doorway, in his winter gear and holding a S.P.I.C.E.R.)
NUMBUH 1: We might have something to say about that, Chester!
CHESTER: Nigel Uno! You and your bunch of snot-nosed friends won't stop me this...
CRRRAAAAASSSHH!
(Chester's snowmobile has hit a fallen log, sending him careening into the snow and he loses his backpack. He attempts to reach for it, but Numbuh 1 steps in front of it. Numbuh 5 is then seen dismounting a rope from the C.O.O.L.B.U.S. and carrying a large-barreled gun.)
NUMBUH 5: Yeah! Pull over, man! (She fires the weapon, shooting out a large piece of paper that constricts Chester's arms.) And get your ticket right!
(A little later...)
(A KND craft is taking Chester into custody. Numbuhs 1-5 ((Who are all in arctic gear))are waving to the craft as it leaves. Numbuh 1 is holding the jewel-filled bag.)
NUMBUH 4: Great! Now that that jewel-hungry thug is back in jail, let's get those jewels back to the castle!
NUMBUH 2: I'll go warm up the C.O.O.L.B.U.S.
NUMBUH 1: Wait, Numbuh 2! King Thaddeus's castle isn't far away. (Points to the castle on the hillside) We can walk there!
NUMBUH 3: What? But the snow's so deep!
NUMBUH 1: Now, now! I think we could all use the exercise!
(Numbuh 1 starts walking toward the castle and Numbuhs 2-5 follow, grumbling.)
INTERIOR: CASTLE
(The Kids Next Door are at the end of a stone hallway, and Nigel is emptying the backpack full of jewels into a large wooden chest as his team watches. He then closes the chest and puts a high-tech padlock on it.)
NUMBUH 1: There! If anyone manages to open this lock, the Kids Next Door will be notified immediately!
NUMBUH 5: Great! Now can we get outta this dank ol' place? It's givin' me the creeps!
NUMBUH 1: This isn't just some dank old castle, Numbuh 5! There's history here in its very walls.
(The kids exit the hallway and enter the throne room.)
NUMBUH 4: History, eh? Could this be where Colonel Sanders discovered the submarine?
(Numbuh 5 shrugs.)
NUMBUH 1: Well, my dad tells me that my ancestors once lived in this castle 800 years ago, which may be long before the Kids Next Door even existed!
NUMBUH 2: Wow! You have roots here?
NUMBUH 3: Did they know any princesses?
NUMBUH 1: Well, my family history is sketchy at best, but I do know that they were loyal servants to King Thaddeus! Of course, there are also rumors that a dragon once lived here as well, so it's hard to separate fact from fiction in this case.
NUMBUH 2(Getting spooked): A... A dragon? Um... I think I'd like to leave now!
NUMBUH 4: Aw, don't be so chicken, Numbuh 2! There aren't any... hey, is that a lever?
(Numbuh 4 walks over to a wooden lever on the wall.)
NUMBUH 1: Numbuh 4! Don't pull that!
(It's too late. Numbuh 4 pulls the lever on an impulse, and suddenly the floor begins to shake.)
NUMBUH 3: Oh, Wally! Do you always hafta...
NUMBUH 5: Look!
(Numbuh 5 pints to a large opening hatch in the floor. Out of the hatch comes what appears to be a huge chunk of ice, but when the kids look closer, they see that the ice in fact contains a dragon. It is about 15 feet in length, with red scales, a yellow underbelly, two horns, fangs, a pair of huge bat-like wings and a pointed tail. The dragon is on all fours, with its head bowed and its tail close to its body. Numbuh 1 and company look in astonishment.)
NUMBUH 5: Far... out!
NUMBUH 1: Unbelievable! The dragon is real!
NUMBUH 3: It's so... so beautiful.
NUMBUH 4: What? !
NUMBUH 3: Well, if you look past its scary face, you might say the same!
NUMBUH 4: Whatever.
NUMBUH 1: Hmmm... Numbuh 2, get the C.O.O.L.B.U.S! We're taking this back to Sector V for study!
NUMBUH 2(Gibbering): W-W-W-We're taking this back? Can't we just call Global Command and have them...
NUMBUH 1: No! Global Command will probably just want to destroy it or something. We should at least find out if it's alive. (He looks at Hoagie, who is still shaking, and pulls out a hammer.) Unless we should check the low-tech way!
NUMBUH 2: Aaaaugh! I'm going! I'm going! (He runs off.)
(Much later...)
EXTERIOR: SECTOR V TREE-HOUSE- NIGHTTIME- WINTER
INTERIOR: HANGAR
(Numbuhs 1 through 5 are gathered around the frozen dragon, with various medical devices, including an EKG. Numbuh 3 is in her nurse's outfit, and is using a stethoscope on the dragon.)
NUMBUH 3: Ooh! I can hear him going lub-dub! (Giggles) It's so funny!
NUMBUH 1: It's amazing how it stayed alive for all these centuries!
NUMBUH 2: Okay, so we now know it's alive. Can we get rid of it now?
NUMBUH 4: Numbuh 2, will you stop actin' jittery? It ain't movin' a muscle!
NUMBUH 1: Well, it's kind of late. We'll keep it here tonight and figure out what to do in the morning. But we'd best leave the hangar doors open to keep it cold.
NUMBUH 2(Jittery): Yeah! Heh-heh... Great idea!
(Numbuh 2 pulls a lever and the hangar doors open, allowing some gusts of cold wind to blow through. Numbuh 4 puts his hood over his head.)
NUMBUH 1: This should be enough to keep the ice from melting. Of course, Numbuh 2, you'll have to sleep somewhere else tonight.
NUMBUH 2: Hey, no problem! There's no way I'm sleeping with that thing!
(Hoagie rushes out of the hangar. Numbuhs 1, 4 and 5 follow.)
NUMBUH 5: Um... Numbuh 5 can't help but agree with Numbuh 2 a little. I don't feel all that safe with a dragon in the tree-house.
NUMBUH 4: Aah, if it gives any trouble I'll give it a whup, or a pow, or a kha-wham!
(Numbuh 3 is carting away the medical equipment on a trolley, but stops to look at the dragon. She then takes out a blanket and puts it on the dragon's head.)
NUMBUH 3: There! All tucked in for the night. Sweet dreams! *Giggle*
(Numbuh 3 pushes the equipment out and closes the door as she leaves, singing. But she doesn't realize that she put a cordless electric blanket, which is in the "on" position, on the dragon's head, and in seconds a small pool of water starts to form...)
(The next morning...)
INTERIOR: HALL-WAY
(Numbuhs 1 through 5 approach the door to the hangar.)
NUMBUH 1: It's possible that throughout the centuries the dragon stayed frozen due to contained cold within the cave, sort of like a natural refrigerator.
NUMBUH 4: Aw, man! We could have checked that place for ice cream!
NUMBUH 1(Entering the hangar): Anyway, I think the best course of action would be to return it to the castle and...
(Everyone suddenly notices that the dragon is gone, and in its place is a large puddle of water with an electric blanket on its edge.)
NUMBUH 1(Spots the blanket): Is that an electric blanket?
(Numbuh 3 sheepishly smiles.)
NUMBUH 1: Okay, it couldn't have gotten far! We'll split into teams and...
(Suddenly a drop of water hits Numbuh 1's head, and he sees his team looking upward and scared stiff.)
NUMBUH 2: Uh... N-N-Numbuh 1? (Points upward)
(Numbuh 1 looks up to see the dragon, still dripping wet, clinging to the ceiling. It then drops to the floor, growling and staring at Numbuhs 1 through 5, who start backing off.)
NUMBUH 5: Uh... Nice dragon. Good dragon.
(The dragon lets out a loud hiss, which sends the Kids Next Door running into the main living-hall. They then close the door and lean against it.)
NUMBUH 2: Call it a hunch, but I don't think this is gonna...
(The dragon then crashes through the door, leaving a gaping hole in the wall it was attached to and sends the kids careening across the room, each of them landing in different spots. The dragon then approaches Numbuh 1, who is lying on the floor in the middle of the room, sniffs him, and, surprisingly, starts licking him with his forked tongue.)
NUMBUH 4: What the...?
NUMBUH 5: You've gotta be kiddin' me.
(Numbuh 2 emerges from behind the middle couch wielding a broom and wearing a saucepan on his head, and is equally bewildered when he sees the dragon licking Nigel.)
NUMBUH 3: Aaww... That's so sweet!
NUMBUH 1(Pushes on dragon's head): This... this can't be right!
NUMBUH 2: It's gotta be a trick!
(Numbuh 2 charges at the dragon, yelling and hitting him with a broom. The dragon glances at Hoagie and knocks him back with his wing, sending him careening into the middle couch.)
NUMBUH 2: Boy, he sure knows how to flick 'em! (He laughs but Abby groans.)
NUMBUH 3: Can we keep him? Can we keep him?
NUMBUH 1: Are you nuts? How can we keep a beast like this in our tree-house?
NUMBUH 5: Well, what can we do? Turn it over to the dog pound?
(Suddenly, the Toiletnator crashes through the window, brandishing a toilet plunger.)
TOILETNATOR: Kids Next Door! This time I will not fail in FLUSHING the whole lot of...
(Toiletnator suddenly notices the dragon, who cranes his neck over to look at him. Toiletnator is suddenly scared stiff and drops his plunger. The dragon then turns his body round and breathes a tongue of fire at the Toiletnator, who then leaps back out of the window, screaming and partly charred.)
NUMBUH 4(Looking out window): Whoa!
NUMBUH 1: Well, I suppose he could be useful for security reasons.
NUMBUH 5: Useful? Man, he's the ultimate watchdog!
NUMBUH 2: Let's call him... Spitfire!
NUMBUH 1: Hey! Let's NOT get too attached to him! We'll keep Spitfire- I mean, the dragon here until we can find somewhere to release him into the wild.
(Suddenly, the alarm starts to blare.)
NUMBUH 1: Oh, fabulous! NOW the alarm sounds! I've got to fix that.
(The giant viewscreen turns on, showing an image of the Sweet Revenge.)
NUMBUH 5: Stickybeard!
NUMBUH 2: Spitfire! Sic 'em!
(Spitfire just sits where he is and looks toward Numbuh 1, as if waiting for his command. Numbuhs 2 through 5 also look at him.)
NUMBUH 1: *groan* Fine. (To Spitfire) Repel the invaders!
(At that same time...)
(We then see the exterior of the Sector V tree-house, where the Sweet Revenge has dropped anchor, and Stickybeard is on deck organizing his candy pirates.)
STICKYBEARD: Aarr... I won't lie to ye, mateys. These bratty kids are more protective of their candy than most, but it'll make the plunder all the sweeter! They won't be stoppin' us this time!
(Suddenly, Spitfire's fierce roar is heard, spooking many of Stickybeard's pirates.)
PIRATE: Look, Cap'n!
(Stickybeard turns around and looks upward, and sees Spitfire flying out of the hangar.)
STICKYBEARD: Sugar me timbers! Quick to the cannons!
(The pirates rush to the cannons and fire gumwads at Spitfire, but they have little effect. Spitfire then breaths a jet of flame at the deck, burning a hole in it. He then flies to one side of the ship, and tips it over, causing candy to spill out of the hole. The pirates flee the ship in a panic, but Stickybeard is still on the ship.)
STICKYBEARD: Cowards! The whole lot o' ye! Don't expect me to come runnin' after...
(Stickybeard suddenly goes silent and turns around to see Spitfire eying him fiercely. Stickybeard then jumps off the ship and runs after his crew.)
STICKYBEARD: Hey! Wait for me, mateys!
(Spitfire lets out a loud roar, and we cut back to the tree-house hangar, where Numbuhs 1 through 5 have been watching. All but Numbuh 1 cheer, and Spitfire flies into the hangar, carrying candy in his front talons.)
NUMBUH 5: All right! Candy time!
(As Numbuhs 2 through 5 rush for the candy pile, Spitfire approaches Numbuh 1 and nudges him affectionately with his snout.)
NUMBUH 1: Hey, now! Don't get too used to us! As soon as we find a new home for you, you're out of here!
(Spitfire sadly growls.)
NUMBUH 3: Numbuh 1! How could you speak to him like that?
NUMBUH 2: Especially after he saved our tree-house?
NUMBUH 1: Numbuh 2, you were the one most scared of him!
NUMBUH 2: Hey! After what just happened you can't expect me to go dragon on about it! (Laughs)
NUMBUH 5: *Sigh* (To Numbuh 1): Numbuh 5 knows we can't keep him, but can't we at least treat him well while he's here?
NUMBUH 1: Fine, but he'll also have to earn his keep!
NUMBUH 4(Emerges from candy pile with mouth full): Hmmm... I think I know something he can do!
(A little later...)
INTERIOR: NUMBUH 4'S BEDROOM
(Numbuh 4 is standing in his wrestling ring facing a tough-looking robot, when suddenly, tongues of flame shoot out around the ring. We then see Spitfire breathing into a tube, which connects to tubes surrounding the wrestling ring. Numbuhs 1, 2, 3 and 5 are watching as Numbuh 4 defeats the robot and he lets out a victory yell as the flames shoot again.)
INTERIOR: KITCHEN
(Numbuh 3 is at the counter, stirring a bowl of cookie batter. She then walks over to Spitfire with a tray of unbaked cookies and wearing oven mitts and he lets out a gentle stream of fire on the tray. Numbuh 3 then hands out cookies to Numbus 1, 2, 4 and 5.)
INTERIOR: HANGAR
(As Numbuhs 1, 3, 4 and 5 watch, Numbuh 2 is waving direction markers, and Spitfire is seen carrying a large metal plate. He then puts it against a hole in the hull of the K.O.L.O.S.S.A.L.I.N.E.R., and uses his fiery breath to weld it in place.)
INTERIOR: NUMBUH 5'S BEDROOM
(Spitfire breathes fire on a water tank, which is connected to a hot-tub. Numbuh 5 is in the hot-tub wearing her swimsuit, and she sighs with contentment. We then see Numbuhs 1 through 4 in the hot-tub, in their swimsuits. Spitfire then walks over to Numbuh 1 and rubs his head against his face.)
NUMBUH 4: I still don't know why he likes you so much, Numbuh 1.
NUMBUH 5: Y'know, this may have something to do with the fact that your ancestors lived in that same castle.
NUMBUH 1: Oh, I'm sure that's just a coincidence!
(Spitfire then turns away from the hot-tub and starts making hacking and coughing noises, similar to a cat with a hairball.)
NUMBUH 3: Ooh, he must be sick!
NUMBUH 2: Maybe it was that tub of chili I fed him earlier.
(Suddenly, Spitfire coughs up what appears to be a rolled-up piece of fabric covered with slime.)
NUMBUH 5: Aaaw, man! Not on Numbuh 5's carpet!
NUMBUH 3: Wait, what is that?
NUMBUH 1(Jumping out of hot-tub): It looks like a tapestry!
(Numbuh 1 unrolls the tapestry, and it seems to depict a medieval castle with a dragon in the courtyard surrounded by people. There is one human standing with the dragon, a human that is a spitting image of Nigel Uno, who is patting the dragon on the nose.)
NUMBUH 1: I recognize this man! It's Nathaniel Unosius! My dad told me about him! He's my ancestor!
NUMBUH 4: Uh huh. And?
(Numbuh 5 takes off her hat and smacks Numbuh 4 with it.)
NUMBUH 5: That's why Spitfire's been so friendly with him! Numbuh 1 is the descendant of his friend!
NUMBUH 1: So, not only is the dragon real, but my ancestors were his keepers!
(Spitfire nudges Numbuh 1 with his snout.)
NUMBUH 1(To Spitfire): I guess I owe you an apology. (He pats Spitfire's nose.)
(Suddenly, a tethered wad of gum crashes through the wall, and hits Spitfire.)
NUMBUH 2: What the...?
(Four more wads then crash through the wall and attach themselves to Spitfire. He struggles to break free, but he is then pulled through the wall. Numbuhs 1 through 5 run to the gaping hole and see Spitfire being restrained on the deck of the Sweet Revenge.)
NUMBUH 1: We've got to save him! Kids Next Door, BATTLE STATIONS!
EXTERIOR: SWEET REVENGE DECK
(Stickybeard watches as his crew struggles to restrain Spitfire with licorice ropes. Spitfire's mouth is also tied shut, making him unable to breathe fire.)
STICKYBEARD: Don't let up, mateys! We've got him where we want him!
(Suddenly, the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W. appears overhead and Numbuh 1 and company board the ship, all of them wearing their winter gear.)
NUMBUH 1: That's our friend you've kidnapped!
STICKYBEARD: So... The Kids Next Door come to the rescue, eh? Just as predicted!
(Hatch doors suddenly open on the deck, and shoot out licorice which ensnares the kids. Stickybeard approaches Numbuh 1 as he struggles.)
NUMBUH 1: What's going on here? What could you want with a dragon?
STICKYBEARD: Me? Oh, absolutely nothing!
CHESTER(Not seen): I on the other hand...
(To their utter surprise, the Kids Next Door see Chester standing amongst the pirates.)
NUMBUH 1: Chester! How'd you...
CHESTER: Escape? I managed to break out of that childish excuse for a prison transport, and your snot-nosed comrades didn't bother to contact you because they were too busy recovering from that over-caffeinated gum I slipped them! When I escaped I saw you all carrying off that frozen dragon!
NUMBUH 5: What are you doing with Stickybeard and pickin' on our dragon?
CHESTER: Oh, as you know all my get-rich-quick schemes have come to naught! But this time I see the ultimate opportunity! I'll auction this dragon off to the highest bidder, and the oodles of cash I get will be at least a buhmillion dollars! (Laughs)
NUMBUH 1: There's still the question of Stickybeard!
STICKYBEARD: Ah, yes! Chester here apparently needed help in his scheme so he made us an offer sweeter than any sugar crystal! We help him capture the dragon and we get all the candy in your tree-house!
NUMBUH 3: You did that before and we stopped you!
STICKYBEARD: True, but this time, we'll take over your tree-house and use its information to steal all the candy in the Kids Next Door!
NUMBUH 1: You'll never succeed!
CHESTER: Hah! As if you have any say in the matter!
STICKYBEARD: Indeed! (To his pirates): Throw the bratty kids in the hold!
NUMBUH 4: The hold with candy?
STICKYBEARD: Er... no! The hold with no candy!
(The pirates grab the kids, who struggle valiantly. At the same time, Spitfire sees it all and begins to growl fiercely. He then summons enough strength to break the straps on his jaw and lets out a loud roar. The pirates carrying the kids then drop them and rush to restrain Spitfire.)
NUMBUH 1: Kids Next Door, attack!
(The Kids Next Door spread out and attack various candy pirates while Spitfire breaks free from the licorice ropes. He then eyes Chester, who attempts to flee, but is pinned down by Spitfire's clawed hand. Stickybeard then runs toward Spitfire and draws his peppermint sword.)
STICKYBEARD: Aar... Ye won't be wreckin' me ship this time!
(Spitfire roars and whacks Stickybeard with his tail, sending him careening into the ship's hold door. Spitfire then eyes the ship's sails and blasts them with fire, completely burning them. He then takes flight, drops Chester in front of Numbuh 1 and grabs the ship's mast with his front and hind limbs.)
NUMBUH 1(To Numbuhs 2-5): Everyone off the ship!
(Numbuhs 1 through 5 rappel off the ship with Numbuh 4 carrying Chester, who is covering his eyes and sobbing. Spitfire then picks up the Sweet Revenge by its mast, spins around with it and lets go, sending the ship flying out of sight. We also hear the screams of Stickybeard and his crew. Spitfire then flies down in front of the Kids Next Door and lowers his head, which Numbuh 1 pats.)
CHESTER: My fabulous scheme! Ground into the dirt! All because of you Kids Next Door! (Sobs)
(The next day...)
(The K.O.L.A.S.S.A.L.I.N.E.R. is hovering over the Swiss Alps, and Spitfire is on the deck with Numbuh 1 and company, who are in winter gear.)
NUMBUH 1: We've found you the perfect spot for you to live, Spitfire. This is the most isolated area in this mountain range. It's got everything you need.
NUMBUH 3: Just don't be stealing any sheep!
(Spitfire leans forward and licks Numbuh 1.)
NUMBUH 1: I know, I know. I'll miss you too.
NUMBUH 2: Hey, we'll all miss you. This departure will really drake our hearts!
(Hoagie laughs until Abby pokes him in the ribs with her elbow.)
NUMBUH 5(To Hoagie): You're ruinin' the moment!
(Spitfire spreads his wings and takes off, and then looks back at the Kids Next Door, who are all waving. Spitfire then flies away, silhouetted against the sunrise.)
NUMBUH 4: *Sigh* He sure gave us a memorable coupla' days.
NUMBUH 1: That's true. It's not every day we meet such a creature.
(In the background, Numbuh 5 peeks down a hatch in the deck, and turns to Numbuh 1.)
NUMBUH 5: Uh... Numbuh 5 doesn't think it's over yet!
NUMBUH 1: What do you mean, Numbuh 5?
NUMBUH 5: Look!
(Numbuh 5 opens the hatch, and down below is an enormous egg.)
NUMBUH 1: Oh, no.
NUMBUH 3: I thought only girls did that.
END TRANSMISSION