"You know, I think I know why you're so good at tearing everybody else down. It's because you're constantly tearing yourself down, because you can't admit to everybody that you're in love with Brittany and she might not love you back."
Her back facing Finn, Santana froze. She could already feel it starting, that panicky numbness in the pit of her stomach. She'd felt that feeling before, the first time three years ago when she couldn't stop staring at Brittany, over and over last year when she told first Brittany, then Ms. Holiday, then Karofsky the reason why. Now the numbness was spreading through her body, because, all at once, the whole school knew. All at once, everything was out of her control, and she was petrified. Fuck if she was going to let Finn Hudson know that, though. She stayed put(so what if her shoulders were shaking a little, so what if she felt like she was going to vomit) until Finn had triumphantly turned on his feet and gone down the hall. Then she couldn't stand there anymore, not with all those curious faces surrounding her, some pitiful, some leering, all of them unbearable. Santana Lopez started to run down that hallway, faster than she ever had before. She wasn't all that sure where she was going, and she didn't honestly care, but it wasn't much of a surprise when she ended up in the auditorium. The lights were on, but the place was empty. Santana stepped across to the edge of the stage, and sat down with a sigh that sort of caught in her throat.
Nobody was around, she could let it out.
That vomity, panicky feeling was still in her chest, but it was worse now.
"Oh my God, Oh my God, shit shit shit FUCK!" Santana was shouting, but the screams weren't doing anything, she was still freaking out of her mind, she was still totally fucked, everyone still knew.
"No, no, no, I didn't ask for this, WHO THE FUCK GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?" she was crying, she was cursing Finn and everyone else in that damn club she could think of. Except Brittany. Never Britt. Pretty soon she stopped swearing and just let the tears fall. Now the anger was gone, the numbness was back. At least with the anger she'd felt something.
The double doors on the far side of the auditorium creaked open, and Santana looked up, startled.
It was Britt. It was Brittany Pierce, the only person Santana wanted to see, the only one who could make this shitty day even a little bit right. It was Brittany, and she was singing to Santana.
Brittany was singing Melissa Etheridge's "Come to my Window". Her soft voice went with the song in a way that was unexpected but somehow totally right. Brittany was smiling, and she made the song sound beautiful and reassuring and heartbreaking all at once. The song seemed to say, "Everything is going to be okay."
By the second chorus she had reached the stage. Santana slid down off of it and stepped forward into Britt's arms. For a few seconds they just stayed like that, and that moment was all Santana needed for now. She wasn't a fool, she knew the days ahead would be shitty and sucky and awful, but as long as she had Brittany next to her, as long as she could reach out and take her hand, or hold her in her arms, or see her smile or smell her hair or hear her voice, as long as she could do that, Santana was going to be ok.