Title: hanging on the edge of heaven
Author: texaswatermelon
Fandom: Pretty Little Liars
Pairing: Emily Fields/Alison DiLaurentis
Rating: T
Summary: There are few requests that Alison DiLaurentis makes that Emily Fields can deny.
Disclaimer: Pretty Little Liars, its characters and events referenced here, belong to ABC Family and co.
Word Count: 1,306
Warnings: Spoilers for 5x05. Implied underage lesbian sex.
A/N: I wrote this for my girlfriend, who is making her first foray into fandom now that Emison is a thing. No, I don't think that Emison had sex that night, but you know, gotta spice it up a little. I don't know if it'll be continued or not. Also, excuse any timeline screw-ups, I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on there, despite like a half hour of research. I hope you enjoy.
xx
Emily is in the middle of doing her math homework when her phone rings. She answers it without looking to see who it is, because even though she's not as awful at algebra as Aria and Hanna are, she still needs to concentrate if she wants to get the answer down correctly.
"Hey, Em," the voice on the other end of the phone greets her, and her heart thumps wildly in her chest. Alison has been back long enough now that it shouldn't get to her this much anymore, but she's still not used to hearing her best friend's voice so casually in her ear.
"Hey, Ali," Emily responds. "Is everything okay?"
She can practically hear Ali's eye roll over the phone. She hates the fact that that's the first question any of them ask her these days, but Emily can't help it if her natural instinct is to be worried and overprotective. For almost two years they were under the impression that Alison was dead, and even after they discovered her alive, they found out that someone wanted her dead anyway.
"No, it's not okay. I'm dying of thirst and my sweet tooth is flaring up. Meet me at the mini mart?"
Emily glances down at her math book, where she's still got twenty more problems to solve, on top of a reading assignment for English and an essay outline for history. It'll probably take her most of the night without any distractions.
"Sure," Emily says with a small sigh, closing her book and leaving her pencil in it to mark her place. "I'll see you soon."
There are few requests that Alison DiLaurentis makes that Emily Fields can deny.
xx
Alison fills a large cup full of blue raspberry and cherry cola slushy, which is a foul concoction that Emily only needed to try once before she knew that she'd never drink it again. She settles for a small grape slushy, which Alison pays for despite her protests.
"You're the only one who knows about this guilty pleasure of mine," Ali says, waving Emily away as she hands her newly recovered black credit card to the cashier. "I'm buying your silence."
The wink that follows that statement makes Emily forget how to breathe for a moment, and by the time she remembers again, Ali is already lacing their fingers together and leading them out into the late afternoon sunlight.
Alison always had a way of making each of them feel like they were the most special to her in turn, sharing small, inconsequential secrets with one and not the others and then swearing the chosen one to silence as if it were some life-altering matter. Ali's love for gas station slushies was one of Emily's secrets.
"Hanna's doing so well on her diet; I don't want her to think that all of that progress doesn't matter just because I can't control my sweet tooth, and Aria and Spencer can't keep secrets to save their lives. They'll ruin poor Hanna's resolve," she'd said the first day they'd ever stopped in for one together. "This will be our little secret."
Back then, confused and hopelessly in love, Emily felt like it was the most important secret in the world.
Now, things are different. Emily is different. Alison is different, or at least she seems to be. She certainly has been trying. The secrets and lies and biting, cruel remarks have been less frequent, as far as she can tell. The way that they all refuse to put up with Ali's bullshit this time around is definitely different.
The only thing that hasn't changed is the way that Emily's heart tightens in her chest when Ali licks blue syrup off of her lips and shoots an innocent smile her way, almost like she isn't doing it on purpose.
xx
"Those kisses weren't just for practice," Alison tells her several days later, and turns her whole world upside down. Just like that, Emily is fifteen again, a puppy hopelessly following her master around and sneaking kisses in deserted locker rooms and libraries, only to be kicked away. Her relationships with Maya and Paige—the love she had for both of them—completely disappear, and all she is left with is an infatuation with Alison DiLaurentis, who can't possible love her back, who has to have some reason for saying this now, of all times.
It pisses her off and makes her blood boil with rage that Alison is still clearly trying to manipulate her after all this time. More than that, it hurts that with a single sentence, Alison can cut away two years worth of progress and personal growth like they never occurred at all.
xx
She lets Alison convince her to stay the night because she still finds it hard to say no, and after everything she's been through she doesn't think it's fair that Ali should have to be alone. They get ready for bed in silence, which is fine. There's plenty on Emily's mind to keep her occupied.
As she lies there in the dark, she can feel Ali next to her, her body heat and the slow rhythm of her breath. She thinks of the fire, of the dream that wasn't a dream, and how the truest things that ever came out of Alison's mouth were only ever spoken when she was certain you either wouldn't remember or you'd think she was lying. Alison tells lies the way that other spill truth, and vise versa.
Emily asks Alison if she's still awake, which is only a courtesy question, because she knows that she is. Ali actually snores softly when she's sleeping, the result of a skiing accident and a broken nose as a child. What she's really asking is if Ali wants to revisit their earlier conversation. There is no response for a moment, but then they both roll over at the same time. She can see the blue in Ali's eyes even in the darkness, and despite her misgivings, has the urge to put Alison's earlier confession to the test. Ali knows what she's thinking and gives her a small smile, a silent encouragement.
When Emily kisses her, it is everything and nothing like she remembers from before. She can feel Alison's hesitation, almost like she's nervous. Of what? Emily wonders, and pulls away hoping that she can decipher it in Ali's eyes. She can't, never has been able to read Ali's secrets there, and thinks that maybe she'll be able to read it in Ali's kiss instead.
Ali meets her halfway this time, like she wants Emily to understand. She rolls on top of Emily, and the weight and warmth of her is almost more than Emily can bear. It is everything she dreamed it would be, before she even knew what dreaming such things meant, before she allowed herself to imagine them in waking.
Ali's kisses taste like sorrow and desperation, like regret and apologies. They taste nothing like Emily thought they would. They taste better.
Alison rises up and pulls her shirt over her head in one swift motion, and for a moment Emily freezes and feels her heart stop beating. This is something she's wanted in her darkest hours, a desire she dared not discuss with anyone, including herself, but to have it at her fingertips so unexpectedly like this is overwhelming.
There are lips at her neck and hands guiding her palms to a pair of breasts, and when Alison whispers please in her ear like a confession, Emily can't find it in her to say no.
When she touches Ali for the first time, it's like Heaven. When she hears Ali's whimpers in her ear, it's like Hell. When she feels Ali come apart around her, it is the truest words ever gone unspoken between them.