Note: I'm surprisingly cynical. You have a problem, you don't read. Also, the first three have sexual references. Consider yourself warned.
ONCE UPON A TIME
Once upon a time,
A woman choked on a lime,
And fell into a comatose state,
'Til a prince gave her the Heimlich
So that they could procreate.
Once upon a time,
A princess in her prime,
Took a nap for quite a while,
When a prince found her later,
He discovered she was quite fertile.
Once upon a time,
A man took quite a climb
Up a tower and found a hot chick,
And guess what?
He knocked her up pretty quick.
Once upon a time,
A dad committed a crime,
And gave his daughter to a creep
For a flower. Honestly!
I mean, roses are dirt cheap.
Once upon a time,
A girl was covered in grime,
She meets her prince in disguise,
She leaves the dance early and he
Picks his bride cuz of her shoe size.
Once upon a time,
A family had nary a dime
So they abandoned their kids in the woods,
And a witch tried to eat them.
Moral: don't trust someone who lives in baked goods.
Once upon a time,
There was a girl with a voice like wind chimes.
She sold it for a pair of legs to meet her guy.
She had to kiss him within three days or else.
Guess what? She died.
Once upon a time,
A frog was covered in slime.
He fetched a girl's ball and she took him away
And he slept in her bed, and when she awoke
He was a prince. Oi vay.
Once upon a time,
A girl ran out of rhymes
Rhymezone's exhausted and so is she
So she'll end it right here
For the sake of her sanity.