A/N: A collection of Dair one shots because I'm in a Dair mood. Funnily enough I'm not in a happy mood though, which is weird because usually when I write Dair I'm all fluff. My mood will show in this. Pre-warning that this might not have the happiest ending ever. It depends on how you take it. Faintly follows the shows storyline till around 4x17, and when I say faintly I mean seriously faintly. No spoilers in this, unless I somehow can predict the future.

Enjoy!

- Lauren

…

Christmas 2010

They're not exactly friends, so he doesn't want to give it to her. For some reason he wraps it, covers it in red and green Christmas paper topped off with a silver bow, and even handwrites a card to go with it but it ends up under his bed. He can't give it to her because she's not ready to be friends, and whether he wants to admit it to himself or not, he's not ready for that either.

It's the perfect gift for her, though, it has Blair Waldorf practically written all over it so he just couldn't resist buying it. The silver and gold miniscule merry go round hummed a beautiful tune when you wound it up and let it spin in mesmerizing circles. It fit the exact description of the one that she had explained her dad had got her before he flew off to Paris – she had thrown it away when she was angry at him and had never found it again.

Dan knew that she'd love it but he would have to wait to give it to her. Wait until it was time - their time.

"You know I saw this first edition Charles Dickens novel the other day." She lay on her back on her bed, staring at the ceiling wondering why exactly she was telling him this but her mouth refused to listen to her brain and carried on regardless, "A Christmas Carol. I had this stupid impulse to buy it."

"For what?" He doesn't look up from the computer where he's typing away at his new novel for which he finally has inspiration.

She narrows her eyes, and rolls over, nudging him slightly, "For you you idiot, do you realise how ridiculous that is?"

Finally he turns around to look at her, "What are you talking about?"

Blair groans in frustration and rolls her eyes, "I'm talking about the fact that your in my room writing your stupid short story, which by the way I can guess the storyline to right now, desperate writer trying to pursue unattainable blonde Upper East Sider but finding it impossible-"

"Hey!" He interrupted with a grumble, "It's not about that. Anyways, I dated Serena for a whole year and I am not desperate."

"Yeah." Blair scoffed, "The point is Humphrey that us spending time together and me wanting to buy you a Christmas present all amounts to one very untrue thing."

"Which is?" He asks, though he knows exactly what she's talking about and when she doesn't reply he rolls his eyes, "Does it have something to do with us being something that begin with f and ends with riends?"

"We're not friends." She snaps though it's half-hearted and she knows it just as much as he does, "I'm not getting you that stupid book and I'm not telling you where I found it."

"Of course not." He pushes his laptop off his lap and then stands up slowly, turning around to see her back on her back staring at the ceiling, "Do you want me to go Blair?"

She doesn't reply and he huffs, deciding to exit anyways because suddenly there's a tension in the room he doesn't need or want. He doesn't see her again until after Christmas and he doesn't give her the merry go round.

He doesn't throw it away either.

..

Easter 2011

..

"Let's run away together."

They're in the loft in Brooklyn lying on his bed, her face rubbing against his chest, their bodies moulded together and he wants it to last for forever.

"What?" Blair turns her face up to his in surprise, but the little smile that plays on her face shows him instantly that the idea appeals to her, "We can't."

"Yes." He nods but without conviction, "We can."

"Oh yeah?" She laughs and he thinks it's the most beautiful noise he's ever heard, "And where exactly would we go?"

"Europe. Paris, Rome, London, everywhere." He mutters, his eyes look up and out of the window. It's a surprisingly hot day for Easter in New York and the sun's shining, he's always loved pathetic fallacy.

"Hmmm." She snuggles against his chest again and his hands play gently with her hair, "That sounds lovely."

"We should go." He says the words after a few minutes and she knows him well enough now that she can tell he's suddenly deadly serious. She pushes herself up again slightly and furrows her eyebrows.

"Dan... we can't."

"And why not?" He demands softly, "It's Easter holidays next week and we've got two weeks to go anywhere and do anything."

"Because!" She cries, moving backwards now, "Because we have obligations here, we can't just pick up and leave."

A tension filled silence falls over them, and he can't help but notice the sun slip behind a cloud in the background. God, he hates pathetic fallacy sometimes.

"What obligations Blair?"

She stares at him, and then rubs her lips together, perfect dimples appearing at the side of her face, he's always loved her dimples "It's nothing."

"No, it's not nothing when you won't tell me."

She shakes her head with a scoff, "Just leave it Dan."

"I'm not gonna just leave it because you're suddenly acting like a spoilt princess Blair. I'm asking you what's wrong, so tell me."

She shots daggers at him with her eyes, "I don't want to tell you."

"I'm your boyfriend!" He cries out, almost outraged, "You're meant to tell me when things are upsetting you!"

She groans in protest and gets up off the bed, running a hand through her hair, "You want to know? It's because a certain blonde best friend of mine's mother is moments away from hopping into a orange jumpsuit, no pun intended, and I need to be here in case she needs me!"

He furrows his eyebrows, "I know about Lily Blair, that's a fine reason to need to stay here, why wouldn't you just tell me that?"

She throws her hands up in the air exasperatedly, "Because! Because she might need you too and that scares me. Talking about Serena in front of you scares me."

A silence falls over them and then in moments he's also up and out of the bed, standing in front of her, "Oh Blair that's ridiculous."

Her eyes flash in fury and he realises that he used the wrong words, "I'm ridiculous? Last week Chuck asked me to help him with one scheme and you threw a hissy fit!"

"Chuck Bass is different to Serena!" Dan insisted, unable to help himself getting tense at the sound of Chuck's name on Blair's lips.

"Oh well excuse me for thinking that all ex's are the same." She rolls her eyes and moves away from him again, "Then again, I distinctly remember you telling me once upon a time that the best feeling you ever got was telling my best friend that you loved her."

The look on her face is so heart broken it stops the anger from growing in him immediately, he sighs softly instead and shakes his head, "That was years ago Blair."

"But you'd still choose her wouldn't you? Everyone does."

"You're who I want to be with!" Dan insists, "Don't you get that."

"You're not denying it." She tells him with a shake of the head, "If you had to choose between me or Serena, there's no denying is there? You'd choose her in a heart beat Dan. You're like Nate or any other guy..."

"That is not fair!" He cries, "I never said I'd choose her, I wouldn't! And if you feel that way about a girl that I used to love how do you think I feel about Chuck?"

"What does this have to do with Chuck?" She demands

"If we're talking about choices, how about you honestly tell me that you'd really choose me over him."

"I already have!" Blair barks, "I chose you remember!"

"And yet I can't help but feel that was only in the moment. That I'm just another stepping stone in the epic love story that is Chuck and Blair!"

He doesn't take a moment to register the single tear rolling down her cheek now. Moments later he wishes he had.

"So don't you go telling me all your insecurities about Serena when you're still in love with that stupid Basshole, when in the end, it's never going to be me!" He's almost yelling now, and several tears are streaming down her face.

The silence floods them suddenly and she takes a painful breathe of air in.

"If we really feel this way..." She speaks so softly it's almost hard for him to adjust after all the near shouting that had dissolved moments prior, "Then what are we doing together Dan?"

"I... I mean, I..." For a writer, it was weird not being able to form words at that moment but suddenly he could feel her slipping away and when seconds ago he was pushing her over the edge, here he was suddenly feeling he had to go and pull her back over, "Blair..."

"I mean, this can't be healthy. This can't be trust, or..." She fails to finish the sentence.

"I love you." He tells her desperately, "I only love you, I just need to know that you feel the same."

She stares at him for so long it brakes her heart that she can't follow through. A sob releases itself without warning, and her left hand flies up to cover her mouth. It's all he needs to know she won't return the statement.

Suddenly he bakes away, stumbling slightly, towards the bed.

"No." She shakes her head, feeling she's almost lost him too. The back and forth is confusing her too much, it's giving her a headache. "Wait Dan, I do love you. I love you."

"You still love him."

"I love you more." She insists and he shakes his head.

"You want to, but you don't, do you?" He knows her now. Knows her better than he ever imagined he would because she's Blair Waldorf and he's Dan Humphrey. Yet, he still doesn't know her as well as Chuck does, and that information is all he needs.

"I want you." She whispers but it's hopeless and she can't stop the tears from continuing making trails down her porcelain cheeks, "Oh god... it's over isn't it?"

He doesn't need to nod in confirmation.

..

Christmas 2011

..

"Merry Christmas." She steps forward to place a swift kiss across his cheek and hands him a neatly wrapped present, the wrapping paper silver, with pure white snowflakes falling around it and a red bow on the front.

"Thank you." He tells her earnestly, and then moves to the side slightly to grab her own Christmas present and holds it out to her, "You too."

The smile she gives him makes his heart melt and he wants nothing more than to step forward and kiss her, but refrains and casts his eyes down to his present, "Do you want to go first or should I?"

"You go first." She insists, and he instantly rips into the paper. His heart skips a beat when he sees the present, a first edition signed copy of a Christmas Carol. His mind flashes back to a year ago, and he suddenly feels nostalgic.

"I did buy for you." She explains and his eyes turn back to hers in amusement, "When we weren't friends."

He laughs and his fingers touch the book as if it's the holy grail, it's so perfect for him, to him, "Thank you." He tells her earnestly, and she can tell from his smile the really does mean it, he nods towards her present now, "Seems to be a theme tonight. I bought you that last year as well."

Her mouth moves into a smile at his words and she looks down at the present eagerly, "Seems we both had the same idea."

Dan chuckles and nods, "Open it." He encourages and immediately tears into the paper in a very un-Blair Waldorf like fashion. The instant twinkle in her eyes is all he needs to know that he was right. It was the right choice.

Her eyes catch his and her voice is so soft, "Where did you find this?"

"You really want to know?" He laughs slightly, "Ok, it was a second-hand store if I'm honest, but... it reminded me so much of your description of a similar one your dad bought you."

"Dan." She gulps slightly, and pushes back tears, her hands move gently to turn the merry go round around and pushes the base up so that he can see three small words carved into it. Blair Cornelia Waldorf.

"Oh." The words falls out of his mouth and suddenly she's grinning and tears are brimming at her eyes.

"It's the one my father got me!" She cries, "Oh my god, I love it, I love you!"

She's already pulled him into a hug when the words come out and they both feel their bodies tense at them. But she won't let it get awkward, because she does feel them, she does mean them, so she pulls back suddenly and crashes her lips onto his.

They move in sync for just a moment before she pulls away because she can't, they can't.

Her diamond engagement ring flashes in the light when he next looks at her and it causes his heart to swell.

"We would have never worked out." She tells him quietly, and he can hear her tears, "We just weren't meant to be."

He nods in acceptance, but his own eyes are glistening now, "Well, we made it this far didn't?"

"I do love you Dan, it's just..."

"Chuck Bass is your soul mate." He finishes for her because he knows it, she knows it, the whole world now knows it.

She nods as well, but doesn't move away, "He's my destiny, I love him, but... you're my soul mate too Humphrey, if wasn't... if Serena..."

"I know."

They know. They know each other, they know the world. Sometimes it's unfair. Sometimes it works but sometimes it hurts. At least they tried.

"Who would have thought it, huh? Dan Humphrey my soul mate in another life time." She chuckles lightly but tears cascade in her eyes.

"Another life time." He agrees and then places a small kiss on her forehead.

He steps away from her and she lets out a shaky breathe, "Dan, are you coming to..."

He shakes his head briefly, "No. I can't watch that. But you'll look beautiful in white, I just know it. And... if he ever does anything to hurt you Blair, you know that I'll-"

"He won't." She interrupts defensively, "This time it's for real. This time it's just us for us, there's no one else there's no going back."

"I'm so happy for you." He says honestly, and then continues to move backwards.

"Bye Humphrey." She tells him, and this time they know it's for good.

"I'll be seeing you Waldorf." He tells her, they lock eyes for one last time and then he turns around and she watches as he goes with one last tear rolling down her eyes.

..

Easter 3390

..

"Excuse me miss, you dropped this."

She turns around to see a dark head of hair scooping down to pick up her feather hat and smiles in appreciation.

"Thank you." Suddenly he's up and passing to her and their eyes lock. She wears she feels a sense of de-ja-vu overwhelm her. Her smile falters and then she forces it out, "May I ask your name?"

"Humphrey, Dan Humphrey."

He extends his hand and she smiles, shaking it. He swears an electric shock passes through her as their hands collide and flinches.

"Blair Waldorf." She manages in return, and he nods.

"Where you off to Waldorf?"

"Europe." She tells him as she adjusts her hat on her head, "Paris, Rome, London, everywhere."

He could have sworn he's heard the words elsewhere.

"Hmmm, that sounds lovely."

She nods, "Well. Thank you for retrieving my hat."

"Anytime." He smiles and then moves forward and ahead of her, "I'll be seeing you Waldorf."

She can't help it. She can't help but feel herself call out to him, feel herself drawn to him in every way possible. She's heard those words before, she's seen his face before.

"Wait!" She suddenly cries and he turns around eagerly, "Where are you going?"

He shrugs, "I don't know actually. Just running away for the Easter Holidays."

"Why not Europe? It's beautiful."

"I'm sure." He nods and a silence falls over them.

Her eyes adjust to a small book stuffed into the side of his pocket, "Is that a Christmas Carol?"

He nods with a smile, "First edition, it's been in my family for years."

She knows him. She's heard those words before, she's seen his face before.

"Amazing. I've had a this gorgeous music playing merry go round in my family for years. My grandma just gave it to me last week." She smiles fondly and when she looks back up she finds him staring at her intently.

"I'm sorry if this sounds ridiculous but, do I know you?"

She bites her lip and shrugs, "I think we've met some place before."

Suddenly her bags off her shoulder and she holds a card out to him, "If your in Europe sometime, just give me a ring?"

"Yeah." He takes it gratefully, "I might just do that."

"Bye Dan."

"I'll call you Blair Waldorf."

"You do that." She nods and then watches as he goes, feeling ridiculous as an uncontrolled tear rolls down her eye.

..

I'm not sure how any of you feel about this, it's a bit like they do and don't end up together.

I'm still a Chair fan, which some of you may have guessed, but if Chair never happened Dair would have been great. Shame that we missed 4 years old Dair magic, but it would have been more of a shame in my oppinion to miss four years of Chair. I hope it was ok :)

As always please review, it makes my day!