Gone
He shut the door hard, and took of his coat. Reaching up to hang his coat on the hook his fingers brushed silk soft fabric. He stiffened. Gently he pulled it off the hook. The faint smell of Jo Mologne grape fruit reached his nose. The coat fell to the floor. It was her scarf. She must have left it here by accident. It hit all at once. The emotions he had been fighting off all week.
Auggie sank slowly to the floor of his apartment, his back against the door. He felt Corrosive, overwhelming pain. He couldn't breath. His chest hurt. Sobs sent tremors throughout his entire body. She was gone, and it was his fault. He betrayed her, broke her heart. He was as bad as Mercer, as bad as Jai, he thought with disgust. And now she was gone.
"I'm sorry", his voice broke and he realized he was crying. Normally he was too proud to show any weakness. He didn't care. There was no pride, not anymore. He had nothing left to be proud of. "I love you ", he said his voice barley a whisper, even though she wasn't there to hear it. She never would be.
He hated himself. He would never forgive himself. He deserved this, deserved this pain. He deserved to die. No, no he wanted to die. He wanted to end his pain, but he deserved to suffer, to live with this. He and his stupid desire for glory had gotten her killed. He just had to be out in the field again, didn't he? How being in the field could have ever been so important he didn't know.
It seemed stupid, childish. He had wanted to the big shot hero again so badly, that he didn't care who he hurt, to get there, he thought coldly. it wasn't important to him anymore. Nothing was. Except for Annie, and she was dead. He sobbed loudly, burying his face in his hands. He was crying like a small child. How Pathetic. But then again that's what he was, pathetic.
"Annie", he whispered. He leaned his head back against the door and looked towards the ceiling as he thought about the events that led him here.