OKAY. So I just beat Final Fantasy VII. I've played Crisis Core and watched Advent Children Complete more times than I could count. But I finished the original game and I have a lot of feelings so what better way to figure them out than by writing? I hope you enjoy!
Tifa walked into her bar, thinking to herself not for the first time how glad she was everything was still in tact. It felt a lot longer than a few hours since Cloud defeated Sephiroth for the second time. Someone who might not have known her might've thought that she didn't worry about Cloud during his fight. However the opposite was true. Of course she was worried for him, but she also believed in him more than anyone else.
After everyone managed to get out of the small lake that now resided in Aerith's church, it was decided that a celebration was in order – hosted by none other than the previous Shinra Company President, Rufus. Naturally, there were some who were more excited at the sound of a party (Yuffie, Barrett, and the kids) than others (Vincent and Cloud). Nonetheless, everyone attended with only one or two words of complaint.
Tifa mingled around the gathering, always keeping an eye out for Cloud. She'd stood next to him as Rufus made a toast to 'The SOLDIER Who Saved Us All'. It was obvious to her how awkward Cloud felt. He was scratching the back of his head nervously and refusing to make eye contact with anyone. It was only after Marlene and Denzel were the first people who cheered for him amongst the crowd, running up and latching onto him, did he loosen up.
There were many people who wanted to personally thank the previous Avalanche group and it didn't take long for everyone to get separated in the crowd of well-wishers. Tifa did her best to keep an eye on her family, but she could only catch glimpses of them now and then. Cloud seemed to have a natural talent for avoid unwanted conversation – a talent she wished she possessed at this point. She noticed him talking to the kids before talking with Barrett. Then she lost him.
She was finally free for the moment. Taking a deep breath, she decided it was time for a drink. About half way to the bar, a hand grasped her wrist and she immediately tensed. It wasn't long, though, before she relaxed.
"Tifa." A familiar voice spoke, sending a welcome shiver down her arms and back. "Let's go home." She turned and looked at Cloud, glancing from one bright blue eye to the other before smiling and nodding. Exhaust had started to hit her and she could tell by the look on Cloud's face it was the same for him as well. His hand didn't leave her wrist as they began to walk and she took the initiative to lace her fingers with his. He squeezed her hand and didn't let go. Tifa thought of it as progress. "Don't worry about the kids. Barrett was more than happy to let Denzel stay with him and Marlene." They rode back to the bar in a comfortable silence.
Tifa watched as Cloud sat on the barstool, leaning heavily on the bar, studying his clasped hands. "You want something to drink, Cloud?" He glanced up at her and nodded before focusing back on his hands. His eyebrows were furrowed as if he was concentrating on something extremely important. Tifa idly wondered if there was something inexplicably interesting about his hands.
Surprisingly enough, there wasn't anything particularly interesting about Cloud's gloved hands. Normally talking to Tifa was one of the easiest things that he could do. Conversation always came naturally. But within these last few days, he'd realized a few things. It was obvious to him that he had more than just friendly feelings towards Tifa. He'd known that for a while now. But since Aerith died, he'd blamed himself for it. He'd hoped that saving the world would erase the feeling, but in the end the planet saved itself. And Cloud knew it.
Sure, he defeated Sephiroth and ultimately stopped any further destruction, but the feelings stayed and grew heavier and darker when he realized he didn't save the world. He spiraled into a depression and self-hate. He was torn. Part of him thought he belonged with Aerith and Zack, but the other part of him had such a strong bond with Tifa and the kids. Getting Geostigma, Cloud thought, was a sign. He didn't have to make the decision, and he was thankful that it was made for him. Then the Geostigma was cured and Aerith made him see where he belonged. All that was left for Cloud to do was to explain to Tifa everything that had gone through his head in these last two years and hope she forgave him. He'd given up hoping they shared mutual feelings.
"…hello? Earth to Cloud, Tifa calling. Your drink is ready." He looked up from his hands to see the drink was indeed in front of him and his lifetime friend was sitting on the barstool next to him, a drink in her hand as well. He thanked her and took a sip of his drink. Tifa spoiled him, honestly. He didn't know anyone who could make drinks like Tifa could. On the rare occasion he'd drink at other bars, he'd always leave unsatisfied, thinking of his childhood friend.
Tifa observed him with a small smile. She knew there was something going on with Cloud, and like she always had and always would, she waited until he was ready. They made small talk until they had both finished their drinks. Tifa had decided that they deserved a bit more alcohol than usual, accounting for the day they had, and made the drinks a bit stronger than usual. "Do you want another drink? It's not too late, and I wouldn't mind another one myself." Cloud replied that he would like another drink and within minutes another was sitting in front of him. He took a deep breath.
Once Tifa was settled on her barstool he faced her and squared his shoulders. A little liquid courage was good for (almost) everyone. "Tifa, there's a lot that's happened in these two years, and I wanted to talk to you about it." He looked nervously at her, and she nodded, giving him the encouragement he needed. "When Aerith died…when she died, I knew in that moment it was my fault. I couldn't save her. I thought if I saved the world in her place, that blame I placed on myself would go away. I could achieve her goal for her. But I couldn't do that. We fought and defeated Sephiroth together, and I thought that would be the end of it. But it wasn't. We used Holy and that failed. It was up to Aerith, to the planet to use the Lifefstream and that saved us all. Not me.
"The blame didn't disappear, Tifa. It just grew and grew. I couldn't trust myself to be around any of our friends. I didn't want a decision of mine to cause anyone the same fate as her. I stayed around for a while when I found Denzel. I thought he was a way to atone for my sins. I found him near her church and I thought it was a sign. I thought that she was sending him to me, to us, so I could attain for what I'd let happen to her. Of course I was wrong, but by the time I'd realized, Denzel was already ours. I didn't want to see the look on his face when I left. I didn't want to think about how I missed everyone.
"I was torn. I didn't know where I belonged. I thought I should – should die and be with Aerith and Zack, but there was always you. You and the kids. Whenever I almost convinced myself, there were always the thoughts of you and the kids, and I didn't know what to do. And then I got the Stigma and the choice was taken from me. I was glad I didn't have to make a decision myself. I don't know how to explain it, but Aerith made me realize something. The person who needed to forgive me was me. She made me realize that she didn't blame me. Countless lives would've been lost had she lived, and she would've done the same thing again if she had the chance.
"And now here I am free from the blame facing another problem I've caused. And damn, I'm not good with these kinds of things but you just have to know. I don't know how long it's been since I've realized it, but there's no denying to me how I feel about you. I have feelings for you and I want to be with you. I know there's more I could say but…I just know now that if I'd made the decision to be with Zack and Aerith I would've regretted it more than anything."
While he spoke Tifa paid attention. He'd gone from looking at her to disappearing in his mind as he talked. She watched his fingers clench on the glass and worried for a moment that it might break. But his shoulders relaxed and he looked at her again when he told her his feelings. The entire time he spoke, she was completely in tune with his emotions. Tifa had always known when he was ready, he would come to her. A moment of silence passed before she replied.
"Cloud, when you left home, I was thirteen. We made our promise and I believed in you and I waited. We were reunited when you joined Avalanche, but I could tell you weren't quite you. Not yet. And I waited. Because I knew you'd come back to yourself, and I knew you'd come back to me. It might've taken a few years but you did come back. Then we saved the world and I saw something change in you. I knew there was something wrong, and that when you were ready, I would be here. Sure, I might've been upset at times, but that always passed. Even when we were young, I knew you were going to be someone great. I'm glad you told me all of this. In these last nine years, we've been through a lot." She smiled and stood. He looked at her, confusion evident in his gaze. She moved closer to Cloud, pushing one hand through his hair.
"Do you really think I'd wait around so long if I didn't feel the same, you spikey headed idiot?" She said, and kissed him.
Cloud froze. This was absolutely not the way he thought things would turn out. He could not believe this amazing woman in front of him returned his feelings. He could not believe that she was kissing him. He let the shock pass him and allowed himself this moment. It'd been long enough since he'd been truly happy and it was about time that changed. He smiled against her lips.
He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, encouraged when she gasped slightly at his touch. He tangled his hand through her hair, feeling unable to get close enough to her. Their mouths moved against one another's, and Cloud could feel his heart beating faster.
Cloud worried for a moment, considering that because of the course of events in these last years, there was little to no time to gain any experience. That didn't seem to bother Tifa, and she knew that it wouldn't bother Cloud either.
The two broke apart, catching their breath and resting their foreheads together. He didn't want to take his hands off of her; there was too much time he needed to make up for. But they both knew if they stayed in the bar much longer, they'd be asleep on their feet. She kissed him lightly on the lips once again and took his hand.
"Let's get some sleep, Cloud." She said softly, and began leading him to her room upstairs.
Cloud would never admit it so long as he lived, but he flushed. "T-Together Tif?" She looked back at his flustered expression and laughed. She released his hand and began stripping off her leather clothes, leaving just a comfortable shirt and undies. She climbed in bed and looked at him.
"Yes, Cloud. It's just sleeping. Now get your spikey butt over here." She didn't have to ask him twice. He too removed clothing until he was in his boxers and slid underneath the covers beside her. They both simultaneously decided that there would definitely be another time to fully appreciate the body of the person laying beside them. But for now, Tifa made herself comfortable beside him. Cloud rested his arm over her, and brought her closer, enjoying that she seemed to fit perfectly beside him.
If there were any more words to be said, they would have to wait until morning. Within seconds, the couple had fallen asleep.