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It was as if my heart was made out of glass.
The second I heard him tell Asami he loved her, it fell and shattered right then and there.
Into a million pieces.
And was scattered around me.
Begging to be put together again.
But no one came to it's rescue.
No one came to save me.
And It's his fault.
He's the reason for my constant pain.
He's the reason for me being powerless.
He's the reason for everything.
"But he's just some boy."
My mother and Lin tell me constantly.
"You'll find another."
They've said it so many times to me, that you'd think I believe by now.
But no.
He's not just some boy.
And I won't ever find someone like Mako.
Ever.
He was the first boy I kissed.
The first boy I let embrace me.
I told him my secrets, and he told me his.
He comforted me when I was sad.
He was the first boy I ever fell in love with.
He was the first boy to break my heart.
The last too
Cause I'll never love again.
I had an image in my head a long time ago that I was the strongest person ever, and that nothing could break me because I'm the Avatar.
And I did believe that in some point in my life I was.
But it's not even that I'm not anymore.
I never was.
You see the strongest person isn't only about having the most fighting abilities and the highest physical status, but there's alot more to it.
The strongest person wouldn't break down and cry.
The strongest person wouldn't care about what people thought of them.
The . ?docid=27370660est person wouldn't run away from their battles.
But I'm doing all of those. Right now.
I'm letting the fact that he couldn't break up with her get to me.
I'm letting the fact that he said he couldn't hurt her get to me.
I'm letting the fact that not once did he mention the possibility of him hurting me get to me.
I'm letting the fact that he didn't want me get to me.
I'm letting the fact that Asami gets to look into his amber eyes and feel what I never will again get to me.
"Don't let it get to you."
Bolin's words rang in my ears.
He said them to me just a few hours ago, but now it feels like more than that.
Decades maybe.
His words are now are just a faint whisper that comes back to haunt me every now and then.
They remind that I did let him get to me.
They remind me of the failure I truly am.
They remind me of the better Avatar I could've been.
They remind me of the response I gave him.
"I gave him everything, but he changed his mind." I hesitated."So I made up mine."
"I wasn't going to let him use me anymore."
I'm ashamed of myself now.
I'm ashamed because I lied.
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