My first twilight story so do review so i can improve on it. criticisms are welcome too. thank you thank you:D

note: polar night is the night lasting more than 24 hours, usually inside the polar circles.

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight :(

Chapter One

I don't love you anymore.
The words keep repeating in my head no matter how I tried to shut them out.
My life could never return to how it was anymore. My life was like any normal day and night before Edward came. When he came, my life never became night again. Always like the day. So bright, so warm, so dazzling. When he left, my life became a polar night- dark and cold. My only heat of source and light was - Jacob.

Jacob, oh Jacob. I loved him but it was different from the love I felt for Edward. After Edward left, only Jacob stood by me, as unbearable as I was then. I was like a machine - going to school then home and performing all my mundane human needs. I shunned all crowds and activities - even Jessica couldn't be bothered to ask me out anymore. After I got to know Jacob, life suddenly had a different meaning. I wasn't sure what, but I saw life in a different perspective. My life couldn't revert but at least I could live. For Renee, Charlie and Jacob.

Going down to La Push everyday was so common for me that Charlie found it ordinary, like it was a daily ritual for me. In fact, I could see he was happy for me. I was starting to try to make conversations with him and my friends. I was amused at how Jessica, Angela, Ben, Mike and some others looked when I spoke. Mike looked like I was a mute who could actually speak, his mouth gaping in disbelief. I made it a point to speak and hangout with them more. I knew how some of them, like Angela, was worried about me. Her eyes were brimming with tears, like she was touched.

Nightmares were commonplace and disturbing. It was normally the same nightmare every night, the scene when Edward left me. It was so vivid, so horrifying that I woke up. Tonight wasn't an exception. I jolted up awake in the middle of the night, with sweat sticking to my face and me hyperventilating. I sat upright on my bed and curled my arms around my knees as I tried to shake the nightmare out of my head and wait for morning to arrive.

"Mornin', Dad," I chirped, trying to sound cheerful.

"Morning, Bells. Going down to La Push ?"

I nodded my head and hoped he wont ask anymore questions. I wasn't someone who could act and I was afraid the depression would show in my voice again. I got into my truck and headed down to La Push. The way there was so familiar I could probably just close my eyes and drive there- just that I didn't dare to risk it. I knew myself too well. Jacob was there as usual, his body leaning on the wall of his garage. When he saw me, he gave me a smile that I couldn't resist but smile back.

"Hey Bells!" He enthused.

"Hey Jacob," I called, unable to return the same amount of enthusiasm.

"Jake," He reminded.

"Right, Jake. What's up for today?" He grinned as he whispered in a low voice,"It's a secret"

I rolled my eyes as I said, "Having me cycling" I pointed to the motorcycle beside him "isn't really too big of a secret"

He shook his head. "You're not cycling. I am. You are my pillion rider"

I was about to protest when he teased,"Spare my bike"

I shrugged. "Alright. Wait for me here. I want to go get drinks." The weather was sweltering.

He was about to come along when I insisted, stressing out each syllable, "You stay here."

I walked towards the convenience store as I thought of how protective Jake was. He was afraid, like Charlie, I would try to hurt myself because of the Edward incident. Not that I got over the incident but at least I wouldn't try to hurt myself, to hurt them. I could die if I wanted, but I didn't want to see others hurt and devastated and me being the cause of such grieve.
I grabbed two cans of cokes and paid for them. After I walked out of the store, I heard a voice. The voice I was trying very hard to remember yet forget.

"Bella," it said,"Come here.

I must be hallucinating, I told myself. This wasn't the first time and every time, it would just be my imagination. Despite myself, I followed the voice. What if it really was him? I was in such a hurry when I crossed the road that I didn't check for oncoming cars.

"Bella!" Jake was shouting, fear and shock evident in his voice.
Everything was too late. What happened after was a blur. A sleek black car honking, blinding lights, the cans of coke falling to the ground, me on the ground and then darkness.

"Bella! Oh no..."

Edward.

This is the end of chapter one :) Please do review on it!
To find out what happened next, do remember to read the next chapter when it's out! :D