I recommend you read the prequel oneshot to this first then come back to this one. It might make a bit more sense.

Lapis must have been crazy. She would have to be to have suggested something so inherently insane. Strangely enough however, she didn't feel crazy, she felt perfectly sane. For someone with a cripplingly anxious disposition it was odd, perhaps that was what made her think her current calm state of mind was less than ideal.

The day had been eventful to say the least; it was spent fighting some of the largest fusion experiments she'd ever seen on Mask Island. The shattered experiments still would pop up on Earth every once in a while leaving the Crystal Gems to take the responsibility in poofing and bubbling the forced fusions.

Because of this Garnet had sent Amethyst, Steven, Lapis and Jasper to deal with the problem. Lapis had been hesitant at first as it would be her first time on Mask Island since Malachite's battle against Alexandrite. It had been over two Earth years since that event and Lapis was no longer fearful of that period of her life, it just seemed awkward to go back with Jasper.

Garnet however, assured her that it would be a good trip and she did so with a tone and expression that clearly knew more than Lapis did. Clearly future vision was at work however despite the clairvoyant gem's prediction Lapis was still apprehensive. Deciding not to let a little weirdness get between her and living her life she agreed to go with the group.

It was in the aftermath of that battle that Lapis said the words that made her question her own mental stability.

The fight lasted into the evening and by the time they were finished it was dark. Steven had begged them to let them camp out for the night. He insisted that he'd done it before and it had only gone partially badly, which was hardly comforting. That was enough for Amethyst though, who was always up for adventure. Lapis and Jasper didn't protest, Lapis because she wanted Steven to have fun, and Jasper because she knew her pseudo sister wouldn't take no for an answer.

The four of them set up camp for Steven, Lapis caught fish, Jasper made a fire and after those fish were cooked on the flames they were quickly devoured by Steven and Amethyst. After an hour or so of laughing and sitting by the beach the two rowdier Crystal Gems were knocked out into a slumber most likely from the combination of the long day and the drowsiness that came after food, leaving Lapis and Jasper to their own devices.

Up to maybe a year ago that would have set Lapis on edge. Things had changed though, instead of uncomfortable silences and guilt they actually got on pretty well. It was mostly teasing that didn't mean any real malice, a pat on the shoulder for a battle well fought, or on the occasion— a more intellectual and personal conversation.

Jasper had been lying in the sand, arms behind her head and staring at the sky. Lapis had briefly wondered if she still thought of Homeworld when she saw the night constellations. She wanted to ask but Lapis didn't and instead admired the quartz soldier from the tree Lapis had been sitting against, Steven next to her snoring. Peridot was right when she said Jasper was quite a fine—if not perfect—example of what a quartz was supposed to be. Everything about her exuded power and might; it was only natural that Lapis found herself observing the orange gem from afar.

"Like the view?" A deep but teasing voice had asked. She had flinched in surprise at the sudden words, not expecting Jasper to turn her head up and back towards Lapis and to catch her staring.

In an attempt to hide a blush on her cheeks Lapis had smirked,

"Yes the ocean is lovely."

Jasper narrowed her eyes,

"Well played Lazuli."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The casual joking and biting remarks had carried on a little while longer before Lapis had announced that she was going to go out and stretch her legs for a while. Jasper joined her and their conversation died down when they reached the beach where Malachite had been poofed.

Jasper had then stopped at the place where the ocean joined the shore, a strange and unreadable expression dawning on her face. It had been a long time since they'd talked about their time in an unhealthy fusion but Lapis still recalled what Jasper had told her around a year ago when asked about the subject—that the addict in her would always crave fusion no matter how much she had changed and grown as a gem. If she was being honest, she felt that to some degree as well, though not as powerfully as Jasper.

"It feels weird being back here," Lapis had sighed, feeling the same sadness and odd emotions. Jasper wasn't the only one of them who loved the power that came with fusing, "On one hand I know this place because we were here, but we were so far gone at that point it's like it was a completely different gem. Not me, you or even… her."

Jasper hadn't responded instantly but instead kept her eyes fixed on the ocean before uttering one word,

"Sorry."

"Yeah I am too."

A comfortable silence had spread upon them. She could only assume that Jasper was reflecting just as much as she was. It was through this reflection that the sudden and determined, yet shy statement left Lapis's lips, the one that made her question her sanity.

"We should form Malachite."

Jasper's head whipped around instantly, her long tresses following with a similar intensity. Her amber eyes were wide with shock as she choked out,

"W-what?"

Lapis panicked at the other gem's reaction, anxious that she broached the subject too soon and had ruined the relationship the two had worked so hard to build,

"I-I mean, only if you wanted to! If you didn't want to than just forget about—"

"No!" Jasper blurted out suddenly, "I do want to, I just… why?"

That was the question wasn't it? She looked up at Jasper's confused and stunned face and found she couldn't find the reason. Or at least she couldn't find the words.

"I don't know," Lapis responded quietly, eyes never averting from Jasper's even though she was incredibly nervous, "It just… feels right. I mean, how is this fair to us? We never had a chance at a fusion like Garnet's, or hell, even half as good as hers."

"But why…?"

"Why what?"

"Why me?"

Lapis's heart sank a little at that comment. In the past year she'd come to realize that Jasper, despite the bravado, really sort of hated herself. Lapis didn't understand it, but she wanted to. She wanted to understand it so she could make Jasper think differently.

"Because," She answered softly, "You don't know it, but you are good. You are good and I trust you."

Jasper's expression was hard to pin down to one emotion. There was disbelief, shock, appreciation, and something Lapis couldn't name.

"I don't deserve—"

"I'm going to stop you before you say something that isn't true," The blue gem interrupted in a sudden burst of passion brought on by Jasper's self-hatred, "You deserve to know what it's like to be a part of a healthy fusion without fear of abandonment. I deserve to be able to experience fusion without feeling trapped and fearful. And you know what? Malachite deserves to be a part of a fusion where she can be her own gem. We forgot about her in all of this and put her through hell and she should know what it's like to be happy. We all deserve happiness, every single one of us.

After Lapis finished her small speech she was slightly breathless, apparently getting too heated. She just wanted to make sure that Jasper knew that she was wrong in her thoughts about herself and that everyone—including Lapis—knew it. Jasper didn't say anything for a moment as she considered the words she had just received. A minute or so later she spoke up and asked,

"You really want to try?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," Lapis smiled.

And she really did. Since their last conversation about Malachite almost a year ago so much had happened and not just to Jasper, but to Lapis too. Lapis had went from a barn mate to Peridot and friend of Steven, to a Crystal Gem who genuinely liked the other members. She willingly went on missions with them and spent time with them without the buffer of Peridot or Steven. Lapis was the most content she'd been in over 6000 years. Earth had become her home.

Then there was Jasper. The quartz had changed immensely to an extent that no one had expected or dreamed of. After over a year of a cordial truce with the Gems she had joined them four months ago. Garnet no longer disgusted her, she had a great admiration and respect for Pearl and she didn't correct Amethyst when she referred to Jasper as her sister. The best part was Steven. Lapis sometimes just sat and watched the two together, Steven loved Jasper and Lapis was pretty sure that over the past couple years Jasper had grown to love him too.

All of this combined with the interactions she had with Jasper made her sure; sure she wanted to fuse again.

Lapis stretched her hand out and up towards Jasper,

"What do you say?"

Jasper mouth stretched into light smile as she took Lapis's small hand into her much larger hand, the warmth engulfing it. Lapis suspected that if she had a heart it would be beating wildly through her chest.

"Yes," Jasper responded.

And they danced.

The two lay on the beach in a comfortable silence. Lapis had a stupid grin on her face that she couldn't quite get rid of, one she was sure Jasper had too. She stared up at the cloudless and star filled sky that was beginning to fade out, a sunrise due to start any minute. There was one thought repeating couldn't get out of her head, so much so she broke the silence to share it.

"That was…"

"Incredible," Jasper finished causing Lapis to laugh out loud.

"Yeah."

And it had been. It had all the power and addictive quality the first fusion had, but instead of pain and anger there was… a cohesiveness. There was no struggle for control, everything felt euphoric and Lapis didn't hate herself or her fusion partner. Malachite was different this time, she felt like her own gem and not the combination of two angry and vengeful beings.

Unfusing, though neither took pleasure in doing so, did not occur due to a light arrow in the chest. It happened because both of them knew their limits and agreed to them. Malachite wasn't perfect quite yet, there were many steps the two had to take before she became a truly stable fusion, but the first step was made and it couldn't have gone better if Lapis had dreamed it.

"We should try it again sometime," Jasper said, turning her head to meet Lapis's eyes.

If Lapis's grin could have gotten bigger it would have,

"We should."

Jasper's expression mimicked hers when she heard the other gem's answer.

"Should we head back to Steven and Amethyst?"

Lapis pondered this and shook her head. As she gazed downwards at their two bodies she realized that they were physically close to one another, but still kept a safe and cautious distance. Deciding that this wouldn't stand she slowly inched her hand towards Jasper's until their fingers interlaced. When she turned her gaze back up the quartz she blushed,

"Let's just… stay here for a while. I sort of don't want this night to end earlier than it has too."

"Okay."

Normally a silence like the one that followed would have led the two to avert their gaze and glace up at the sky or scenery. This wasn't the case this time around. Lapis, for a reason unbeknownst to her, couldn't seem to break eye contact with the quartz soldier. So they sat there, content to stare into each other's eyes, admiring the other, and feel the warm and comforting contact between their hands.