Hello everyone!
So, this is the re-edited version of Chapter One. If you have read the Announcement, you will understand what this is all about. If you haven't, the summary is that I am going to rewrite Chapter One (which is done) and Chapter Two (which is also done). With the help of Dotchan, a lot of the structure of the chapter has changed. Let me know what you think about it, feedback is crucial at this point when I'm doing the rewrites.
If you liked this Chapter, please leave like this fanfiction and follow the fanfiction to get an update on when the next chapters are coming out. If you have any constructive criticism, praises or ideas you want to address, please write it in the reviews and I will give you my answer in the next chapter that is posted.
Enough talking from me, enjoy the chapter.
The roads of the hilly lowlands of Netyks River was showing off its weary old age, an old man among the several acres of natural habitat and wild animals, disfigured with scars of cracked tarmac and exposed wounds.
Though it has experienced better days, it still reflects better care compared to the acres it sits upon; the smells of smoke, blood and pre-shot attacks still fill the air with horrible nightmares.
The sounds of The Great War continue to echo here; at the Netyks River, thousands of Devils died for no gain, death and destruction were their only victory. Even though this place was once a battlefield, its beautiful surroundings make it seem that the place was never once disturbed from its slumber.
A rush of wind circulated the area, sending a gentle kiss through the stems of the grass where it subsided on the ground. The distorted sounds of engine roar can be heard from miles away, making it sound like a predator hungry for its prey. The presence of the unknown made its statement of arrival to the place at hand, yet the area is blind to the whereabouts of this presence; only the sound waves guide them on what this mysterious thing can be.
In the midst of the waves of heat is a black limousine traversing the tarmac as it heads to its set destination somewhere beyond the horizon. Inside sat Mark Grace, the sole heir to the Grace Clan, one of the pillars of the Underworld; of the original 72, a mere 33 of them remain.
It seemed like hours passed with flying speed for Mark, as it would just be a few more minutes until they arrive at their destination. The slight hum of the engine creates a sense of calm and almost meditative stance, so much so that Mark was almost about to snooze off into his mindscape before a burst of sound engaged his eardrums; the culprit being his maid blowing a horn to an incoming animal that crossed the road.
Several minutes later, the limousine would stop at its destination: Iloria, a town of a couple hundred thousand residents, known for its specialization of fresh produce and commercialized success of market stalls and local taverns, which persuade people to empty their pockets for a limited time of joy and pleasure.
The door of a local favourite tavern opened from the outside world, a secret society dominated by men and women who enjoy the everlasting poison of fruitful pleasure; Mark would be one such client.
A female staff member was there to greet him at the door, and he replied to her hospitality with warm words of his own, letting her know that he had reserved a table for him and his friends, who would join him later. Smiling, she guided him to the table in question and then went to the manager to confirm the reservation. He sat down at this table, waiting for his acquaintances to appear at the door.
A few minutes later, the door would open again, but this time introducing Mark to a familiar set of faces, ones that belonged to his old comrades, who fought with him side by side during The Great War. They noticed Mark sitting at the reserved table, and with a big smile on their faces, they walked towards the table and greeted Mark with a heartfelt hug.
"Ah; Sekino, Seth, and Hendrika, nice to see you around again. I thought I was going to be here all by myself again." Mark pulled his face into a sarcastic frown.
"Jeez, Mark, stop being a crybaby!" Seth playfully punched Mark on the shoulder, laughing as Mark sarcastically rubbed his shoulder like as if he was hurt.
"So, how is life going on with you Mark?" Seth asked.
"Yeah everything is fine, I'm just stressed from all the work I've been doing for the past week or so," Mark gave out a small yawn.
"Well, if you need someone to talk to, just ring me up and we can have a chat," Seth patted Mark on the back. "Oh, I just remembered," Seth pulled out a case of wine from his bag and grabbed two bottles. "My family has just released their newest wines that they have been testing for months now. It's called Crimson Rose; how about we try some now!"
"Hey, knock it off Seth," Hendrika knocked his fist onto Seth's head. "When will you actually learn how to grow up?" Hendrika said as Seth grinned goofily.
"Hendrika," Mark said as he shook his hand. "How are you?" Mark asked.
"I'm doing fine, life got pretty busy after I left the Army. Now, I'm fixing people's old shit." Hendrika said as both men laughed at how stupid that sounds. "Most of the time I'm with my fiancée. Just recently, in fact, she visited me a couple of weeks ago. We both went to Igaki Forest and spent our vacation there."
"By the way, how is she?" Mark asked.
"Doing great; she just got a new medical centre opened up in the South. A lot of people are going to be happy with that!" Hendrika said as one of the male employees brought the group their ordered drinks.
"Wow, tell your fiancée I said congratulations!" Sekino said as he slammed down his drink onto the table. "I'm so jealous of you! Your fiancée is smart, creative and a hard working person, not to mention she has a great body and some nice racks!"
Hendrika slapped Sekino upside the head. "You better choose your next words carefully, Sekino," his flames of doom crowded over Sekino, scaring him to death. "Or I'll make sure you never get to see another set of 'racks' again, you hear me?" Hendrika asked, getting a quick nod from Sekino.
"Sekino, you pervert, you should really rein that in before you get yourself killed," Mark took a sip of his drink. "On the other hand, that might be pretty funny. Imagine, Sekino Hiroya, so desperate to lose his virginity that he gets beaten to death by an angry mob of women."
Sekino flushed when the others laughed. "Aw, C'mon, don't act as you've never had sex with Rias," he gave Mark a significant look. "You haven't, have you?"
"...No," Mark said quietly, but enough for the group to hear. The group laughed as Mark slightly blushed.
"Come on, Mark, when are going to pop that cherry? You're engaged to her, right? You're in love with her, right?" Hendrika said as Mark nodded at both the questions. "Then why not do it already? I'm sure she won't mind if it's you."
"Look I-I'm just not ready!" Mark said embarrassingly.
"Jeez, I wouldn't have gotten into this mess if you didn't bring it up, Sekino," Mark said.
"Well, you get shit, you get hit," Sekino emptied his third glass. "Anyway, how is Rias?"
"Fine; she'll be getting her Evil Pieces tomorrow, which makes her pretty stocked," Mark smiled as he remembered how excited she had sounded over the phone. "I will be visiting her tomorrow, spend some quality time with her-you know, doing my part as her fiancé."
"Tell Rias I said hi when you go over. And give her this," he passed on a box to Mark. "My father's been making necklaces, and this just came off the production line. I think she'll like it very much."
"I think so too," Mark agreed, inspecting the necklace, before putting it back in the box, and then the box into his pocket. "Thanks."
Several hours faded for the group, with glass after glass of alcohol being emptied. Having been almost six months since they last met up for a good drinking party, so there was plenty of lost time to make up.
Even if they got drunk as a side effect, that seemed a small price to pay for the camaraderie they felt for one another.
"Oi, you cunt!" Hendrika said while waving his glass around in the air, spilling some of its content. "I've never forgotten that day, boy, so you better stay put and receive your punishment, you faggot!" At this, Hendrika jabbed a finger into Sekino's face.
"Hey, grampa, what do you mean I dyed your uniform pink?" Sekino said angrily, leaning closer as well.
"You better remember that time boy, or else," Hendrika said while cracking his knuckles. "You are getting your bulls ripped off tonight!"
"Okay, let me think..." Sekino took a minute to think. "Wait for a second, that wasn't even me!"
"What do you mean it wasn't you!?" Hendrika asked with steam coming out of his nose. "You had that can of pink dye under your bed, you piece of shit!"
"Hold on!" Sekino said while waving his arms around, getting defensive. "My friend gave me the can in the first place. While *mumble* I did dye your uniform pink *mumble*, I wasn't the only one who did, you twat!"
Hendrika was growing impatient and slammed his fist on the table, nearly breaking it. "Don't think I didn't hear that!" he crossed his arms. "Even though you had to do a hundred laps around the training grounds while wearing that pink uniform, that was the just army's punishment. Now, it's time for my justice!" With that, he made a dash at Sekino, who could do nothing more than run away in terror, while everyone else laughed.
After an almost endless run of Hendrika trying to make Sekino's life miserable, they finally had enough and returned back to the table and started drinking again, as if this whole situation never began in the first place.
"Hey, Mark," Seth said while finishing off his 4th jug of beer. "Remember the time where you stepped into a hole with water which turned out to be a deep hole?"
"Oh,
yeah!" Hendrika said. "It was an off-site training week that this happened, I think," Hendrika questioned as he scratched his head.
"It was!" Seth grinned, no doubt reliving the mental image. "You were so wet, you had to go back and get a whole new uniform, but the only one you could get was two sizes smaller!"
"It sucked like shit," Mark agreed. "After training was done, it felt like I'd been in a pressure cooker!"
A few hours went by and the evening rose. The tavern was about to close down for the day, the staff prepared to clean all the mess created by the drinkers that were here during the afternoon; all in all, however, it was a successful day regardless.
Except for Sekino, who collapsed from drinking after downing about 17 jugs of beer; already an impressive number for an average drinker, this amount proved to be too much for him, and he paid the price for such excessive indulgence.
The staff at first was worried about the unconscious young man, but Mark insisted to them that it wasn't a big problem and that they should get the tavern ready for closure.
"I just called his parents," Mark, put his phone away. "They said they will send his personal maid over to pick him up." Sekino, for his part, was mumbling something about Beer Devils.
Seth turned to one of the staff members and bowed. "Please at least make sure he doesn't choke in his own vomit." With that entreaty, he headed towards the limousine. "I'll see you guys in a bit!"
"Okay, I'll see you later, Mark," Hendrika said, and Mark nodded in acknowledgement. "And I will see you..." Hendrika flicked Sekino's forehead. "Later." With that, he entered his teleportation ring and went home.
Mark shook his head. Heading outside, he saw his limousine arriving to pick him up. Mark entered the car and signalled to the driver to head out towards the gleaming sunset. Tired of all the drinking, Mark fell asleep and stayed that way through the entire trip.
Tomorrow will be a busy day; he had to go and see Rias, spend some time with the Gremory Clan and also do some work of his own. He hoped his hangover wouldn't cause the toilet to be unusable.
Thanks for reading this chapter, I hope you found it more enjoyable to read than the first time around. Now, with a lot of help from my Beta Reader Dotchan, I can fully maximize my creative will also finding out my flaws in the writing.
Please leave a review with constructive criticism, praises or ideas that you want to address. This will allow for both me and Dotchan to be able to make future chapters better for your reading experience.
Thanks for Reading,
Call On 84