Cecil sighed with slumped shoulders as he trudged into the tower. So engrossed was he in his musings, he nearly collided with the maid walking down the stairs, a pile of bedding balanced precariously in her arms. Or, well...what used to be bedding. Now it just looked like shredded cloth.

"Your room is ready if you wanted to turn in, my Lord," the girl stated as she dumped the ruined sheets into a hamper she'd left at the foot of the stairs. She mustered a curtsy, then bent to pick up the hamper, eyeing him sidelong with barely concealed irritation.

Odd that the serving girls always gave him dirty looks after tidying his quarters. Maybe they saw the room for what it was; a dark, corrupt lair tainted with his scourge. Tattered, black, and awful...

...like my soul.

Sighing once more, the dark knight hung his head and slowly made his way up the staircase, eyes fixed on his greave-clad feet. He reached forward to push the door open without looking up, collapsing face down onto the bed with a decidedly loud clang and a guttural sob.

It was a little hard to breathe, but at least he'd thought to raise the face plate this time.

He had no idea how much time elapsed, but eventually he pulled his legs and torso up onto the bed, with little difficulty – he was used to the weight by now.

The weight of darkness.

He ignored the way the bed frame creaked under his weight and pulled the covers up around his shoulders. It snagged on the shoulder spikes, but that was okay.

Cecil knew he should sleep, but try as he might, he couldn't put his torment aside. Not for a moment. The king would stop at nothing to gain possession of every last crystal, and he had sworn fealty to the man. He had taken up the dark sword at his behest! Come to think of it, why would any loving caregiver want that for an orphan they raised?

Oh you know, you'll just succumb to darkness and die a horrible painful death one day. Cool, that's a great idea. Fuck my life.

Before long he heard footsteps, and vaguely recalled Rosa telling him she'd come to visit tonight. Great. Another person here to remind him how far he'd fallen.

The door creaked open and in Rosa strode, starting on the interrogation without preamble.

"What's going on? You just returned, and now I'm hearing you're going back out to fight some phantom beast...wait. Cecil, what are you doing?"

Cecil turned his back to her and faced the wall, unable to gaze upon the purity of her form. "Everything...and nothing. This is just the life I'm meant for, Rosa. There's no rhyme or reason for what I do. Soon I won't even feel any remorse for my actions."

"No, I mean...your sheets, Cecil! What are you doing to your sheets? There are plenty of squires around to help you take off that horrendous armor, why in blazes would you be lying in it?"

The dark knight sighed, not quite managing to stifle a humorless chuckle. "Darkness doesn't come off, Rosa. It's a cursed mantle that never parts from my bones."

"It's plate armor, Cecil, don't be so dramatic."

"It's a metaphor. This is my penance for the things I've done! Don't you understand? I slaughtered innocent Mysidians for their crystal today, and I don't even know why! I must atone!"

"And sleeping in your armor...does that?"

"Yes!"

"Well, how do you plan to atone for all of the hours your poor serving girls have to spend mending your bedding?"

"...oh. Maybe that's why they give me dirty looks."

Rosa rolled her eyes. "Yeah, maybe."

Cecil turned back over to face Rosa, shoulder spike tearing through the sheets, ripping them in half. He didn't even look down at the damage he'd wrought before he pushed them off and sat up.

Rosa groaned, hiding her face in her hands. "Now look what you did."

"It's all right. I deserve to be cold anyway. Cold, like..."

"Like your soul, yeah, I've got it." She sighed as she sat down on the bed beside him, placing her hand on his knee. "Come on, Cecil. If you're so miserable, you should do something to change that. Be the man I know you can be. The King has been acting odd as of late. Something is amiss. If you don't like his orders, find out why he's been issuing them."

Cecil sighed. "Nothing can change how awful I am."

The white mage threw her hands up in frustration, and stood to leave. "Okay. That's fine. If you want to wallow, go ahead. Just be careful tomorrow, okay? I want you to live to tell me how right I was when your senses return."

"It won't happen, Rosa. I deserve to be unhappy."

The woman shook her head. His helm was in the way too much for her to give him a proper kiss, but she pecked him on the nose, all the same. "If you say so, dear. I love you."

"I don't deserve you."

She smiled as she gathered her cloak around her, crinkling her nose up in amusement. "Yeah, that's true, but you have me anyway. Goodnight, darling."

Rose gathered her cloak tightly around her body. It was a chilly night, wind rustling her hair and ripping through the thin robes she wore. She pushed the doors to the main palace open with a sigh of relief and made for the entrance leading back to Baron. The walk home would be lovely, her bed, enticing.

Before she could take another step, however, Kain Highwind – dragoon commander and childhood friend – came into view. He leaned against the wall by the doors leading to the entrance. Rosa smiled and lifted her hand in greeting, wondering what he was doing awake at this hour.

"Hey, Kain. Aren't you heading out with Cecil tomorrow? You should get some rest."

He replied to her without looking up, face turned to the floor. "How can I rest knowing my best friend has something I can never attain?"

The white mage cocked her head. "What, darker armor?"

"No! Your love."

Rosa groaned, hiding her face in her hands for the second time that night. "I thought you said you were fine staying friends."

"Not when it means Cecil is so much better than me."

"Oh for fuck's sake, I'm going home."

Kain made a grab for her arm as she passed, but Rosa slapped it away without breaking stride. She was not doing this twice in one night. When would the men in her life grow a pair?

Not holding my breath.

"Good bye, Kain."

"Wait, I love you!"

"Good bye!"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N:

That's it. That's the game.

I was replaying the Playstation One remake of FFIV and I had to stop playing for a solid five minutes to laugh at the entrance scene. I get that the graphics were limited, but that doesn't make Cecil sleeping in full plate armor any less funny. Then this happened. I might continue this fic if I get more parody ideas for scenes, and I have some in mind already. We'll see. I love this fucking game. That's the only reason I would have spent money on four different remakes of the same game, and will continue to do so until I die.

Also, thanks to Bebedora for always being my beta, go to, and friend, even though this is out of her fandom. Thanks as always, love you!