If Lovin' You is Wrong
I Don't Wanna be Right
I don't own Final Fantasy, it belongs to Square Enix
She fuckin' had it all. A 4.7 million gil penthouse that overlooked Midgar. A 4.2 carat diamond on her finger that was insured for a gargantuan amount of money, a closet full of high end designer clothes, and a career that was nothing but over-the-top successful. Oh, and one other thing…she was married to the formerly, most eligible bachelor in Midgar: Rufus M. Shinra. The wedding had been a little over one year ago and was the most media-covered event of the year. It had cost a whopping 589,000 gil but to Rufus, that was a drop in the bucket and it was the most beautiful, and talked about wedding since…pretty much ever. Their honeymoon was equally covered by the media as it was at a most lavish resort on an Eastern island near Mideel. Yes, she had…it all.
"It's been a year in a half." He said rolling over on one side. She took a deep breath.
"You're right. I think we uh….we need to get a plan." She said. He shook his head.
"This isn't going to be easy for either of us. What I mean is…there will be a lot of hoops to jump through. It may take a while." He put his arms around her. "Not that I care, I'm just saying…"
"Yeah. I know….but…god…we have to do this. I mean, we do. It's been a year and a half…we've gotten by with it for a year and a half. And….I'm….I'm not…." He cut her off.
"I know you're not. You weren't from day one and I know that." He said before kissing her.
"Neither were you." She reminded him, kissing him again.
"I love you. And when I say that…I mean I really, love you." He said before shifting his body on top of hers.
"I love you too. Hell, we wouldn't have been doing this for so long if…well, you know." She said pulling him tightly in to her.
"I know….believe me, I know." He reluctantly let her go. "I should go soon."
"Yeah…" she said rather disappointedly. "I think I'm just going to order dinner out tonight. I' too tired to cook." She kissed him again. He shook his head.
"I should get home too. It's…nearly 7:00." She got out of bed and quickly slipped on the nearby satin robe.
"Are you ready for the benefit?" she asked as she straightened his tie.
"Yeah my tux is ready to be picked up and well, we'll be there." He said a little disappointedly. She smiled.
"Wanna see what I'm wearing before you go?" she already knew the answer.
"God, yes." He said without hesitation. She left him alone, went over to the walk-in closet and pulled a garment bag off the rack. Any other woman would have never thrown a 3,400 gil gown on the bench like that. But frankly, she didn't give a shit how much it cost. "Go ahead." She motioned as she flipped through suit after suit in the closet. Finally she picked one and slung it over the bench that ran down the center of the closet as she heard the zipper on her garment bag come undone.
"Oh my god…" he was a bit breathless. She rolled her eyes.
"Final fitting was yesterday. You know what I would love…one time…just...one fuckin' time…" she asked turning the light off in the closet and returning to the bedroom.
"What's that?" he asked.
"I wanna' leave this house…in a pair of jeans….or sweats….or….I don't know…even worse…flannel pants?" she couldn't conceal the tears in her eyes. He took her in his arms.
"You can do that with me, you know? As stunning as this is…" he pointed to her gown. "this…isn't what I want. I want…you…in your flannel pants on a Saturday morning." She wiped her tears though they were still falling.
"I know and I'm sorry, I'm sorry for doing this. You really should go now. It's getting even later and…nothing is more uncomfortable than a crying woman." She said.
"Hey…hey…it's okay. God, no one…no one should…make you cry like that. It's a stunning gown. It's…it's just gorgeous. I love you. See you tomorrow." He said before stealing one last kiss from her.
"Here, zip up…it's getting cold out there." She said picking up his jacket. "Bye. I love you too and yeah I'll see you tomorrow." She said, longing for him to stay with her longer. She saw him out as he gave her hand one last squeeze before she closed the beautiful solid wood door behind them. She leaned up against the back of it and sighed. She sniffed a few times before wiping her eyes again and walking toward the living room. She reached for the phone and dialed a number. "Hi, I'd like to place an order for delivery. 14349 East 37th Avenue. Shinra. Yes, yes…please ring the buzzer because you can't get to my penthouse without an elevator key." She said.
It was 8:05 PM. "You're home." She said.
"Yeah…it was a late night. I'm sorry." His voice was rather disinterested as he threw his keys on the nearby table.
"I made turtle soup and rice. I can warm it up. You want some?" she asked wiping her hands dry and walking over to him. His face was rather expressionless. He finally shook his head.
"No thanks, darling…I think, I'm just going to…take a long hot shower and…get to bed." He kissed her forehead and patted her shoulders before walking around her.
"Alright." She answered before picking up his jacket and his keys from the table. She followed him into their bedroom. "Um….listen…can I….can we….talk about something?" she asked rather nervously.
"Of course, what is it?" he tried to sound interested. She reluctantly sat down on the edge of the couch.
"Um…there's a an extra key here? What is this?" she asked fanning through several keys and stopping at a dull bronze, oddly shaped key. It wasn't like he had just gotten this key or anything.
"Oh that? It's um….it's….to the basement record room at work." He said taking his tie off, quickly followed by his shirt.
"Ah." She answered. "I've always wondered what kind of key it was. It's oddly shaped, doesn't look like a door key. "Take your shower, I'm going to finish cleaning up the kitchen." She said leaving him alone. God, she was so naïve. She would believe absolutely anything. Of course, what else was to be expected? She was a sweet girl. A sweet, twenty-five year old girl from Wutai. The way it was supposed to be. She was marked by Leviathan and the only daughter of a rice-farming family. She wasn't even all that pretty, but according to his parents "she'd make a good wife." But what they really worried about was the fact that their son was thirty-two and childless; therefore a twenty-five year old ripe, child-bearing wife was perfect. Of course, that was well over eighteen months ago…he was only one month from turning thirty-four. And speaking of which…
"I was thinking…would you like to go away for your birthday?" she asked. God, would she just go away so he could get in the shower!
"You know we have the benefit three days before my birthday. I'd say it's not a good idea to leave." He said rather dully.
"Yes…yes…about that…I'm quite nervous…about the benefit. I've never been to anything like that and….well, what if…what if I don't fit in?" she asked meekly. Of course she wouldn't fit in! She was anything but Shinra Electric Power Company Department of Urban Development Benefit material! He sighed.
"Mae, don't worry about it, okay? It's…it's fine. You just have to stay for an hour and you can leave. Now, please…I need to get a shower. I'm exhausted." He said rather irritated with her. He lied. He wasn't exhausted…well, okay...he was...but he just didn't want to be bothered.
"Hello, darling." She smiled and kissed him. "I hope you don't mind that I ordered out for us tonight. It was just delivered before you came in." She said tying her white satin robe tighter.
"That's fine. Though it would be nice if you would cook at least once this week. You're quite good at it and god only knows how much I truly love your cooking." He said unbuttoning his shirt as she pulled the small boxes from the larger bag. She opened up a drawer and pulled the fine silverware out, clanging it on the glass table.
"I'm sorry…I've been busy too." She said a bit dryly. "How about…linguini in white clam sauce, caprese salad and a blush wine Wednesday night.?" She knew it would work, it worked every time. She truly was quite the cook. She could cook absolutely anything but lately….she was just too damn busy to cook. He smiled at her.
"That sounds exquisite, darling. You always know exactly what I love." He kissed her cheek. "I'm going to hang this shirt up. I'll be back in a moment." She grabbed a couple of big spoons and pushed the elaborate arrangement in the center of the table aside. She ran her hand over her neck and sniffed it. Thank god the latest issue of her magazine was nearby. She flipped through it quickly and ripped a perfume sample out, rubbing it over her neck quickly. She wadded the paper up quickly and threw it away.
"Your gown! Did you have the final fitting today?" he asked returning to the table.
"Yesterday." She said jamming the fork into one of the boxes.
"It's stunning, truly stunning. I'm glad you chose Charviet Lukwan…brilliant designer, he is." He said. She listened to him ramble a bit as her mind wandered. There were a total of twenty-seven formal gowns in the closet; nine of them were the proverbial 'LBD' or little black dress. The dress draped over the bench in the closet at the moment would make gown twenty-eight. But she could only think of one thing as she stared at the handsome dark blond across from her.
"Are you wearing a new perfume?" he asked her.
"Huh? Oh….uh…it's just a sample. I thought I'd try it out." He shook his head.
"Hmmm…I like it." He said. "Tell me, do you think I should wear black or white?"
"For what?" she asked rather disinterested in this conversation.
"The Benefit." He said.
"Oh….oh….uh….black. Yeah, uh…black, I guess." She answered.
"Very well, I'll wear the black DeLucha suit. I need to go out of town for four days on Thursday." He said changing the subject. She shot her eyes up to him.
"Oh?" she said.
"Yes, yes. But don't worry darling. It's only for a few days." He squeezed her hand. "Listen, would you mind packing for me?" he asked of her.
"Thursday? What time Thursday?" she said somewhat dodging the question.
"I have a 7:30 AM flight. I'll be back Tuesday by 8:00 PM." He said. She smiled pleasantly and squeezed his hand tighter.
"I would be delighted to pack for you, darling. Tomorrow night, after our fabulous dinner, it will be done." She said, smiling. Though she was smiling for an entirely different reason. Bingo.
"Thank you…you truly know how to make a man happy." He said squeezing her hand again.
Later that night, she stood on the terrace despite the cold evening. "Hey…can you talk?" she asked pulling her robe tighter around her.
He poked his head into the bathroom. Mae was in the shower at this point.
"Yeah…yeah, I can talk." He said.
"I'm going to be alone…starting Thursday. He's leaving town for four days." She said. There was a bit of silence on the other end of the phone. He couldn't hide his excitement.
"I'll tell Mae I have to leave on business." He said.
"Bring your things by Thursday morning before you go in to work and Thursday evening….you're gonna' come home with me and I'm gonna' make us a wonderful dinner and we'll spend the night curled up…in sweatpants….or you know, something much less. Whatever you want." She said shivering. He laughed at her.
"The only thing I would change about that is I want to help you make dinner. And yes…sweatpants…we're talkin' oversized ones. Deal?" That made her laugh.
"Yes….yes that is so….a deal. Okay, I'll let you go. I just wanted to tell you. I love you, good night."
"I love you too. I can't wait for that. Goodnight, baby."
"Goodnight." She hung up the phone and pulled the sliding glass door open, returning to the penthouse living room.
"I'm sorry…that was my mom. You know how much I hate talking to her anyway." She said throwing her phone down beside him. He looked up from the paper.
"You know…you're radiant…just radiant. But, do you realize how stunning you'd look in that brilliant gown if you were seven to ten pounds thinner?" he said. She stared at him from behind the couch, wanting nothing more than to slap him upside the head as hard as she could. One day, she knew she wouldn't be able to control herself and she would.
"Do you realize how stunning you'd be if you had a cock big enough worth fucking?" she hit him wear it hurt but she didn't give a shit because he hit her where it hurt. Turns out, that was more of a burn than hitting him up side the head. Of course, that was their relationship….for every three hours of peace there was at least one comment that was hurtful enough to be a catalyst for a fight that would destroy the rest of the night and possibly the week.
"Don't you ever….ever talk to me like that again!" he said angrily, throwing the paper down.
"Oh fuck you, what are you gonna' do about it? Don't you ever fuckin' tell me to lose seven to ten pounds again!" she said hatefully.
"Come on! I didn't mean it that way! It's a compliment. You're gorgeous…but you could me an absolute knockout if you'd just take a little better care of yourself!" He stood up and followed her into their bedroom.
"Don't fuckin' follow me in here! She leaned against the door frame of the bathroom.
"I'm sorry….I…I didn't mean it the way I said it." He tried to defend himself.
"Yeah…well, what I said? I DID mean that." She said crossing her arms in front of her. She knew that was the one thing that pissed him off more than anything else.
"You...take...that back, you bitch." he said angrily.
"Fuck you, Rufus...fuck you. I'm taking a bath now." She slammed the door in his face.
Indeed, Elena Shinra had it all. A millionaire husband whom she couldn't stand, a luxurious penthouse, a prosperous career, and a steamy eighteen month affair….with her boss: Tseng Yang…Rufus's right hand man.
"Mae? Mae, can I talk to you?" Tseng called to her. She had a towel wrapped around her as she had stepped out of the shower.
"Yeah, sure. What is it?" Mae asked squeezing her hair dry.
"I just got a phone call from work. I need to go out of town on business for a few days. Will you be okay here by yourself?" he asked turning down his side of the bed.
"Sure, sure I'll be fine. How long will you be gone?" she asked sitting in the bed beside him.
"Four days." He said turning the TV on. "I leave Thursday."
"There's um…there's something I wanted to talk to you about too. I wanted to earlier tonight but…" Tseng looked at her rather suspiciously as she climbed under the covers next to him armed with her hairbrush. He feared the worst because he saw it in her face all evening. Something was on her mind and she had been putting it off all evening. He watched Mae nervously chew her lip and tug on her fingers. "I've been thinking a lot lately…" of course Mae would think a lot…she was a housewife. Not that it was disrespectable, but Tseng and Mae were one of those couples that when seen in public people would say to themselves 'what the hell is a sexy and successful man like that doing with a woman like that?'
"Oh?" Tseng breathed in deeply, nervously.
"I uh….I'm…I'm ovulating. I…was thinking…maybe it's…it's time for us to…we should try to….have a baby?" Mae asked reluctantly. Tseng's heart nearly stopped. Mae thought WHAT! She wanted a WHAT! Tseng realized he was just staring at her as if he had been hit by a truck.
"Mae…" he started.
"We've been married for two years. I think it's time. Don't you? Wouldn't you…wouldn't you like to have a child that's…yours and mine? It would be our baby, Tseng." The answer was no. The answer was a thousand times no.
"Mae…he reached for her hand. "I don't think now's the time." he had hoped that would pacify her…but it didn't.
"But Tseng…when is going to be the time. I'm ready…to be a mother. Aren't you ready to be a father?" a somewhat desperate Mae told him. Again, the answer was a thousand times…no.
"I'm tired, Mae. I can't talk about this with you tonight." Tseng said a bit cooly. He rolled over, his back facing her and settled in to the pillows. He hated these pillows; they were entirely too firm, Mae had picked them out. The pillows on Elena's bed….were perfect. They were 100 percent duck and goose down and her pillows cases 500 thread count. All he could think about as he laid there with his back to his wife; was Elena. Her smell, her touch, her hair in his face, her hot breath, her sheer, nude, thigh high stockings. Mae's touch startled him.
"Good night." He couldn't help but notice that her voice sounded a bit hurt. He sighed and rolled over to face her.
"Mae, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out that way. What I said to you. It's just…I'm not ready to have a baby." He had to at least mend this for now as cold as he had been to her.
"Will you ever be?" Mae asked. He just looked at her.
"Good night, Mae." Was all he said.