So everyone but the parents (duh) are hanging out in the Cullen's living room talking about Katty Perry and Madonna songs Like a virgin and I kissed a girl.

Emmet: "So Edward what is it like kissing a virgin?"

Edward: "I don't know Emmet I guess fine, why don't you ask Jasper?"

Emmet: "Why would I ask Jasper he only kissed Alice?"

Edward: "Well Emmet Alice was in an asylum for quite awhile so I doubt Alice had any experience other than Jasper."

Edward: "So Jasper what is it like kissing a virgin?"

Jasper: "Well let's just say that afterwards she became a better kisser!"

I wonder if it was because Alice licked Jasper lollipop

Edward: "Probably but hey I surprised Rose lips aren't numb from yours!"

Emmet: "Me to, But I bet you wish Bella would do you!"

Rosalie: "What are-"

Alice: "Rose you don't want to know!"

Rosalie: "you talking about?"

Alice: "Well Edward surprise that your lips aren't numb from sucking Em balls and Em thinks Edward wants Bella to suck his."

Edward: "Thanks Alice for that wonderful announcement."

Alice "You're welcome."

Edward: "Why are guys starring at me?"

Alice: "They want you to answer Em question."

Edward: "What question?"

Emmet: "Do you want Bella to suck your balls?"

Edward: "That's none of your business!"

Rosalie: "Oh over defensive!"

Edward: "No Rose I'm not it just that some of us don't have to flaunt our love life!"

Jasper: "How can you flaunt something you don't have?"

Mean while Alice and Bella are texting even though they're in the same room and it goes a little something like this

Bella- Oh my god Emmet is so dead think I should tell Rose what happen

Alice- No let me handle it

Alice text Emmet saying Karma's a bitch and everyone here Emmet voice going "I kissed a virgin and I liked it I hope Rose don't mind it!"

Rosalie: "Bella if you value your life you will tell me that you aren't the virgin Emmet kissed!"

Bella: "Oh no don't worry Emmet prefer red head virgins and as you can see I'm definitely not a red head."

Rosalie: "Emmet what is she talking about?"

Emmet: "Bella do you want me to tell Edward what really happened last week?"

Bella: "Should I?"

Edward and Rosalie: "What happened last week?!"

Alice: "Nothing major happened we just went to a club or two."

Rosalie: "Was this red head at the club?"

Bella: "The second one know the only people at the second one was Em and I, pervs, and strippers."

Jasper: "Wait didn't Alice go with you guys?"

Bella: "Yeah she did!"

Jasper: Well she's not a perv so… stripper, awesome my wife is a stripper I'm gonna have so much fun with this!"

Alice: "Two can play this game Bella got drunk and danced on top of a bar!"

Bella: "No I did not Emmet spiked my drink, kissed a red head who kept trying to give him a blow job at the bar that Alice put me on top of and Alice put on a show at the strip club we went to!"