DISCLAIMER: I do not own Metalocalypse or any of its characters. It all belongs to Brandon Small and Tony Blacha. "If I Fell" belongs to The Beatles.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm a huge Metalocalypse fan, but I'm also a Beatles fan (even though peace and love are so not metal). I'm also a slash fan (which isn't too metal either, but who cares? I'm not the first to slash Dethklok, nor will I be the last). This fun little songfic was the lovechild of those three things and was written in the middle of the night. The lyrics don't necessarily go in order according to the song, but more so where they fit best in the story. Read and review, but don't be a dick about it. If you don't like the concept, don't read it.
If I Fell
If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true…
Toki lay on his back, staring at the various model airplanes idly swinging from the ceiling. He heard Skwisgaar's voice, followed by the girl's giggle, and swallowed the lump in his throat, a pang of jealousy piercing his heart. God, why did he have to fall in love with the blonde? He knew that it was a hopeless cause. Skwisgaar was a slut, plain and simple.
If I give my heart to you, I must be sure from the very start that you would love me more than her…
The Swede loved the groupies and GMILFs more than he'd ever love Toki, more than anyone for that matter. Skwisgaar wasn't a one lover type person. Toki sighed. He wanted to tell the lead guitarist how he felt; he had for some time, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't know how he'd handle the rejection that was sure to come with his confession.
Cause I couldn't stand the pain…
Toki was a sensitive soul, the irony of being in the most brutal metal band of all time almost laughable. He rolled over and gathered Deddy Bear into his arms. He couldn't face Skwisgaar. He knew it would be a huge weight off his chest if he just told his fellow guitarist how he felt, even if he was rejected, but Skwisgaar would be sure to tell Nathan, Pickles, and Murderface. The shame would be too much to handle.
If I love you, too, oh please, don't hurt my pride…
But what if Skwisgaar felt the same way? What then? How would he handle it? Embrace it or try to deny it? Admitting feelings for one another wouldn't be metal, in fact it was completely and utterly the most unmetal thing he could ever do!
If I trust in you, oh please don't run and hide…
Could they face the rest of the band as a couple? Would Dethklok disown them? Would they accept it? They'd probably have to hide it. Imagine what would happen to the band if something like that got out? Record sales would probably go down drastically. Who would wanna buy music from a metal band whose guitarists are fucking? That's when Ofdensen would be pissed. But what's the point of love if you can't share it with the world?
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain…
Toki stood up and walked over to the door. He could still hear them in the hallway, Skwisgaar talking in a rough whisper, the girl still giggling. Toki put his forehead against the door. How could Skwisgaar not know how he felt? Was he that dense? Toki felt like it was blatantly obvious, that the rest of the band was always eyeing him suspiciously whenever he was near the Swede. Why did it seem that the person that needed to know the most couldn't get the hint? Or did he? Was he acting like he didn't?
So I hope you see that I would love to love you…
Toki heard them move down the hall, closer to Skwisgaar's room. Toki cracked the door and peaked out. Skwisgaar had her against the wall, one of her legs around his waist, his hand creeping up her skirt. What would the sluts and GMILFs of the world do if Skwisgaar Skwigelf was off the market?
And that she will cry, when she learns that we are two…
Toki sighed, a single tear rolling down his cheek into his Fu Manchu. Damn these feelings! Why couldn't they just go away? The pair was now in front of Skwisgaar's door. The world's fastest guitarist reached behind him to open the door without looking up from the girl's throat. Just before he entered the room he glanced up. He saw the sliver of light illuminating the otherwise dark hallway. He saw the Norwegian silhouetted against that light. He pulled away from the girl.
"You knows what?" he said to the girl. "I don'ts thinks I amnest ups to this tonights."
"You're kidding right?" the girl scoffed.
"Nos, I amnest nots. Gos!"
The girl stormed away, probably to find solace in the arms of Pickles or Nathan. Toki watched the girl get angry and storm off. What had Skwisgaar said? Toki hurriedly shut his door as she walked past it. He leaned against the door, a small smile crossing his lips. Skwisgaar may not be in his arms, but at least he wasn't spending the night in the arms of another.
Skwisgaar stood in his doorway, watching the girl leave. He was growing weary of the sluts and GMILFs. There was something he sought that he couldn't find in their loveless embrace, something a certain brunette may be able to provide. But would he feel the same way?
If I fell in love with you.