Lies.
My life has been filled with lies.
Painful, embarrassing, and completely wrong lies.
My dad lied to me when he said he loved my mom. My mom lied to me when she said she'd come back. The both of them lied to me when they said I was a perfect mistake. They lied when they said I'd go far in life. When they said I was beautiful.
The only thing I believe wasn't a lie, is when Cassidy told me I was a waste of space. I know I'm a no good piece of junk. I also know that everything has a reason, so even in all of these lies, there might be a truth. That even though I was an accident, even though I'm a waste of human life, maybe, just maybe, I have a purpose. That's the only thing that's stopping me from jumping. That one, little bit of hope, is saving my life.
If you don't believe my life is that bad, let me walk you through it.
Freshman year, 2009:
It was my first day in high school. It was my chance to start fresh, turn a new leaf, do something with myself. I hoped and prayed that no one would remember me (that was a long shot). I don't know what made me think anything would have changed. It was probably due to the fact that my dad's new girlfriend was nice, and seemed to like me.
But anyway, I walked through those doors with my favorite skirt on, backpack flung across my shoulder, ready to take on the world. I felt like nothing could stop me, but it did. Well, she did. Cassidy Rogers, basketball player, head of the debate team, and most beautiful girl in school.
Apparently she caught her boyfriend Elliott "ogling" me when I walked in. She couldn't stand any other girl being mildly attractive (even though, trust me, I'm not mildly attractive). Well to get on with the story, she poured water on my head, ripped my clothes, then put a sign that said "I'm easy" on my back.
I've been the laughing stalk of the school since.
That's not the only incident that's happened. Trust me, there's too many to count. I'll just tell you a few more so you get my point.
Sophomore year, I was invited to Elliott's party. I really didn't know why I was invited and I really didn't want to go. But for some reason I thought I might gain some respect if I went to a party, danced, and maybe drank a couple of beers (hey, no one cared about me enough to tell me that's wrong).
I didn't take me long to figure out why Elliot invited me. All he wanted was to get me drunk, then get in my pants. Disgusting. Well, to prove Cassidy wrong, I wasn't "easy". The exact opposite actually. Let's just say it didn't make Elliott when I kneed him in his boy parts and told him to back off.
I actually felt good about myself. Feeling very proud I stood up for my innocence. It didn't last very long because the Monday I got back to school, Elliott was telling everyone I did him and three other guys in one night for some cheap cash.
I was now known as "The Prostitute"
Shoot me now.
Still don't believe my life sucks?
Well I'll tell you the worst part. The part where I fell in love with the blonde that had everything.
Austin Moon, the only boy to steal my heart.
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This chapter is short because it's the first one. I promise to make the next ones longer if you guys want me to continue.