A/N: Hello and welcome! I have decided to brave the world of fanfiction and write one of my very own. This is the first chapter (obviously), and also the first fanfiction I have ever written. I will admit I am a bit nervous about this, but I really hope you enjoy it!
Thank you to all my ladies over at [T20s] for introducing me to the world of fanfic and being a constant source of laughter and amusement. I heart you girls endlessly.
Also thanks to Sparksfly23 and Y_shud_i_choose923 for their never ending support, encouragement, and enthusiasm.
now on with the show...
Chapter 1 – The one with the kiss.
"Hey Jacob, come on in" Bella greeted me, moving aside to allow me to duck through the door. I don't know why I even bothered to knock anymore. I was almost a part of the family now, since I had been following them around for the past 20 years. I never left Nessie's side. I couldn't, she was my entire world. There was nothing else besides her.
It had been interesting watching her grow up, while also dealing with the way my feelings for her were constantly changing. Never inappropriate, but growing with her I guess you could say. She amazed me every day. She grew so quick, and learned so much so fast, sometimes it was really difficult to keep track of how old she actually was. Even Edward and Bella had a hard time with it. She was an adult now, and more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen. Hell, she was probably more beautiful than any woman anywhere, even the ones I hadn't seen, and I loved her.
Bella snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Hey Jake, you there? Renesme is with Edward, she should be home soon though, come in the kitchen everyone is there." What did she mean they were all in the kitchen? That was odd. None of them ate, or drank for that matter, with the exception of me, and sometime Nessie if she had to. She liked keeping up the habit of eating human food so it wasn't so difficult for her in public. She hated the stuff, and even after 20 years found it hard not to make a face while she ate. It was all quite amusing actually, watching her try her best not to scrunch up her face, crinkling the bridge of her nose up to her eyebrows while jetting her bottom lip out so far, I though it might drop to the table. I laughed only once or twice, but had been caught, and never did it again. I hated making her upset. The weirdest part of all that was that, before Nessie, the thought of any one of the Cullens being grossed out by human food made my blood boil.
I followed Bella into the kitchen seeing Carlisle and Esme over by the far counter leaning over something I couldn't quite make out. While Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie all stood around the little island in the middle of the room, Rose of course standing by Emmett. Bella moved to stand in the opposite side, so I took the spot next to Jasper. "Well well, if it isn't wolf boy Black" Emmett said with a chuckle. "Jasper and I were just taking bets about how long it would be before you showed up." He elbowed Rosalie and she sneered at me. "Jasper I believe you owe me ten bucks." And his booming laughter filled the room. "Gee Jasper, really sorry" I began, eyeing Emmett at the same time. "Maybe next time you could have Alice call me ahead. Emmett could stand to lose a bet or two; his ego is getting bigger than his head." Jasper smirked but said nothing. Rose glared still. "Sorry babe but I'm taking Jasper's side on this one. If he would have won that means the dog would have stayed away longer." I huffed and was about to call her out on the latest blonde joke I had heard when Carlisle interjected. "Rose" he called over his shoulder, a warning in his tone, and that was all he said.
Believe it or not things between me and Rosalie had improved quite a bit over the years. Of course in the beginning we fought all the time over things that concerned Nessie, even against Bella and Edward's wishes. It wasn't until Nessie started to speak up for herself, and tell us that we needed to get along that we actually started to make an effort. Sure we were born to be sworn enemies, but we did have one thing in common: her. I'm sure without a doubt that Rosalie would lay down her life for her, as would I. So there it was; our unspoken bond. It kind of made it impossible for me to hate her as much as I had used to. The Cullens considered me family now, and aside from all the teasing, we got along pretty well. The teasing is something I was sure would never go away, Emmett even still teased Bella for Christ's sake. Some things would just never change.
Just then Alice came dancing into the room, practically leaping over Jasper to get to me, landing on me and throwing her arms around my neck. I scrunched my nose involuntarily. The smell was something I could never get used to. It figures the only Cullen with no regards to personal space would be the one to attach herself to me. "Uh, hey Alice" I half chuckled. Though I didn't appreciate the stink, I actually had come to care about her, as if she were my own sister. "Jacob!" she half cried, half sang. "I'm so glad you're here! Quickly, Edward and Nessie will be home soon, and we need your help" So that would explain the gathering in the kitchen. She grinned up at me with a twinkle in her eyes. I had seen that smile before. It always meant trouble. She shoved me towards Carlisle and Esme, who were looking over cake designs, decorations, and invitations. "Since you know Nessie best, we thought you could help us plan her surprise party!" She clapped her hands together beaming at me expectantly. I cringed and glanced over at Bella, who was glaring at me. Though she was my best friend, and understood full well exactly what Nessie meant to me, she still had a hard time dealing with it. Go figure. Out of everyone I thought Bella would be the most understanding, but I had thought wrong. Edward had had to come to my rescue on more than one occasion. I am sure it was all due to what she knew was coming, of how she knew my feelings would be changing, and what no doubt Edward told her what I had been thinking. I shuddered, and sincerely hoped he didn't pay attention to everything." Sure Alice, no problem" I said, giving her my best Jacob grin. "What exactly do you need help with?"
She didn't have time to answer, because off in the distance I heard a small voice, so clear and crisp, like the sound of wind chimes. "Dad! You didn't tell me he was already waiting!" a loud sigh. "Jaaaaaacob! I'm hooooome!" and I was out the door. I felt the wind against my face, the breeze tugging through my hair as I ran. I couldn't get to her fast enough. When I did, I scooped her up in my arms twirling her around and kissing her cheek as she giggled and wrapped her arms so tight around my neck, I thought she could have crushed me. I set her back down again, not wanting to, and turned to face Edward who didn't look as pleased. "Hello Jacob" he greeted me. "Hi" I smiled at him. I couldn't help myself. It was too hard to try not to be so happy when she was near me. It had been hours since I had seen her. Ever since she was born we were never more than a few hours apart, and every single time it was agony. "Renesme I am going to meet your mother. Jacob, take care of her." He winked at me. I knew he had to add the last part for Bella's sake, but he and I knew she could never be in safer hands than mine. I would kill anything that ever tried to hurt her. He hugged her then, patted my shoulder, and was gone.
She looked up at me, so beautiful, wondering in her eyes. "What was that all about?" she asked me. "Who knows" I responded. Only I did know. Edward was giving us time alone, time he knew I wanted with her. I silently thanked him, and heard his quiet chuckle from across the field. I still wasn't sure about whether he approved or not, be he knew what it had been like for Bella and him when Charlie had clearly wanted him out of the picture. Well, he hadn't minded so much, but he knew how much it had hurt Bella, how much she resented him for it, and he couldn't do the same thing to Nessie. "Come for a walk with me" I said, grabbing her hand in mine. She took mine with no reservation and followed me back towards the forest. God, how I loved her hands. They looked so small and fragile, and yet, I knew if she tried she could crush a small boulder. She giggled. "So am I walking with boy Jacob or wolf Jacob today?"
"Neither." My voice caught in my throat. "Man Jacob."
She brought her free hand up to her lips, then back down again. "oh." She breathed. We walked in silence till I found our spot. We had been coming here for years, ever since the Cullens moved to this place. They said it had reminded them a lot of Forks but couldn't go back just yet for obvious reasons. Not enough time had passed, people would still remember them, and they all still looked the same, not aged one bit. It was just too high a risk. I had to admit I was thankful they had grown so fond of that place, I needed the forest area to run, and though I think secretly Carlisle and Esme picked this spot because of that as well.
A little brook trickled down and crossed the clearing we had arrived at, the path we were walking suddenly disappearing. Just on the other side, a soft hill covered in moss and leaves and tree roots lay hiding an opening to a small cave. Opposite the hill two fallen trees intercepted each other bathed in sunlight that came cascading through an opening in the canopy. It was beautiful here. Nessie had found it one day while we were playing a hunting game, hiding on me in the small cave for hours till she was sure I had given up and almost ran home to call in reinforcements. The moment she jumped out to call me back I sprang at her, knocking her to the ground, both of us erupting in fits of laughter. We had spent so many days here after that. Talking, laughing, and sitting in silence. We built small fires in the cave sometimes and camped overnight, me holding her close to keep her warm. This was our place, no one else's. I pulled her over to one of the fallen trees and sat down, dragging her arms across my lap and lacing her fingers with mine. I then pulled her into me, resting her head on my chest as I draped my other arm across her shoulders. We both sighed. I could hear her heartbeat pick up a little and smiled to myself.
It had not been like this with us before. It had not been like this ever. Not this…wanting, this need. I had always felt drawn to her, protective, connected. Kind of like the way a big brother would feel of his kid sister, her best friend, her rock. But now, things were changing. She was an adult now. I could see that, and my feelings for her were stronger than I had ever felt for anyone, even Bella. Bella was not even a blip on the radar compared to how I felt about Nessie. It had all started a few months ago; I was at the Cullens' waiting for her while I sat with Edward, Alice, and Emmett. I remembered like it was yesterday. Carlisle and Esme had been out on their own little getaway; Rose was in the garage working on one of her new cars, and Jasper off reading somewhere. Bella had been upstairs with Nessie. When she came downstairs my breath caught in my throat. Her long curls cascaded down her back, and across her shoulders, shimmering in the sun that shone through the window. Her pale, beautiful, flawless skin flush by the pink color in her cheeks. Her lips were moist, full and inviting. Inviting? That wasn't right .I had never looked at her this way before. Never in all her life. But now, now as I scanned her body, noticing the way her jeans hugged every curve of her long, lean legs right up to her hips. I noticed the peek of her stomach from underneath her shirt, and the smooth pink tank top that fit her ivory skin like a glove, showing of her well built arms, and breasts that were almost popping out the top, daring me not to look. Yes, she was definitely a woman now. I gulped, Edward growled, and Alice laughed.
"Jacob, where are you?" Nessie's hand came up to my cheek and I snapped back into the present, gazing down at her. I stroked her chin with my thumb. "Just thinking of you" I responded. She blushed. I had no idea if her feelings had changed as irrevocably as mine had these past months, but I knew even as a little girl she had always understood that that she belonged to me, and I belonged to her. Her expression changed just then, and I wasn't quite sure how to read it. "Jacob, I…" she began. Her voice trailed off, and before I knew what was happening she was kissing me, a million images flooding through my brain, and filling my heart completely. They were all of me. I sat stunned as we moved against one another, her lips on mine. They were all of me. Images of her as a baby in my arms, The hunting games we used to play, piggy back rides, walks through the woods, deep conversations that lasted all night. So many images, all of me, and we continued kissing. She sighed and leaned into me farther, I could almost feel her heart beating through to my chest. Her lips parted and I brushed the tip of my tongue against hers. Heat rushed through me, and I felt a familiar shaking course through my body. I pushed her away from me suddenly.
Of in the distance we heard a loud shrieking sound, followed by that of splintering wood. Nessie's eyes grew wide and almost horrified as she looked up at me. "Oh shit" she breathed.
I could feel her sitting there. My face felt hot, as I tried to calm myself down enough to get these shakes away. What the hell was that? My eyes were still closed, for fear of losing control, as well as fear of opening them to see her face. I felt my mouth twist down into a frown. I opened my eyes slowly. She was staring at me wide-eyed, mouth gaping open, face full of questions and was that…fear? I exhaled.
"Jacob…wha-"
"I don't know" I cut her off. I knew what she was going to ask, and I didn't know how to answer her. I wasn't sure myself. I was sitting there, trying to figure it all out, confused as all hell, and knowing she was sitting there waiting for answers.
"But Jacob, you-"
"I know, Nessie. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I don't know how that happened." I had started shaking when she kissed me. That wasn't good. Tingles, yes, those were good. I knew those feelings well, but not the shaking, that was bad. That was something I wasn't used to, wasn't prepared for. It didn't happen that way when I had kissed Bella. Why now? This imprinting stuff just kept getting more and more complicated and I wondered if I would ever really understand it. I had never had to keep a check on my control around Nessie. Not ever, not even when we had stood up against the Volturi so many years ago, and I was still a newborn (so to speak) back then. Not until now, until this very moment had I ever had to think about it around her. I just always wanted her safe, it was an automatic response.
We were both jolted out of our thoughts by the sound of another horrific scream, followed by the sound of more splintering wood. Without thinking I grabbed Nessie and flung her over my back, racing toward the house. I could feel her breath on my skin, as she sniffled, and I felt a tear trickle down my neck to my shoulder. Shit. Once we arrived at the house I set her down. I knew very well she could have ran on her own. I just didn't care at the moment. I needed to feel her near me. I need her to know that she could be near me, that it was okay.
I looked up finally, and saw that it definitely was not ok. Edward was standing over me. Well, not over me because I was still taller than him, but if he could have looked down on me in that moment he would have. His nostrils were flared, and he was breathing his vampire stink all over me. I flinched and scrunched my face up, trying to hold back the nasty comments swarming around in my head. "Nessie go inside aunt Rosalie is waiting for you" he commanded to her without taking his eyes off me. "But dad" she began. "Just go". His voice was final. She went, but not without turning to cast one final glance my way. The look in her eyes almost broke me into a million pieces. I needed to fix this."What, may I ask, were you thinking Jacob Black? Putting Nessie in danger like that?" I flinched at his words. "Bella is a wreck you should know. I sent her off with Emmett in the hopes that maybe destroying a few trees might help her to not destroy your face." He spit the words at me. "Care to explain exactly how you managed to get so close to phasing in front of Nessie?"
"Not really" I sneered down at him. "I don't think you'd wanna know anyways"
"On the contrary dog, I was always alright with your little…situation, because I knew you would keep her safe. Today though, you proved otherwise. That's never happened before. I'm not sure how long it will take for Bella to get over this, as for me, well I'm just very curious" His eyes were dark as he spoke and looked off in the distance, obviously deep in thought. He was a lot like Carlisle in that way. They liked figuring things out that weren't the norm. If something unusual happened that they hadn't ever heard of, it consumed them. I hadn't counted on Edward taking that kind of interest in my reaction to kissing Nessie.
"You're right dog; I am not pleased about that part. But obviously this imprinting thing won't let you go anywhere, so in order to keep her safe we have to figure out what triggered this, am I correct?" He looked at me then, eyebrows rising with the end of his question. As if he didn't know the answer to that one. I could feel his warped mind reading my thoughts before I even began to answer, so I huffed my response instead. I wasn't ready to talk about this with him. I wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone. I didn't even want to think about it, what I wanted was to go to her, and make it okay. "Not a chance" he interrupted me again. I clenched my hands into tight fists wishing him away at the same time. "I would really like it if you stayed out of my head, Edward!" I nearly growled.
"Sorry. Habit I guess. The others are so used to it…" his voice trailed off, and was quieter the next time he spoke. "Carlisle is home now. I think it's best if we spoke to him, maybe he knows something we don't."
I followed him inside, and up the stairs to Carlisle's office, looking around the house for any sign of Nessie. This house was a lot like the one they had in Forks, almost the same really. Esme had found the lot and begged Carlisle to build their house here. I use the term beg very loosely, because Carlisle was usually pretty easily swayed and saw no problem giving Esme what she wanted, besides it wasn't like it was an obscene request. Wherever the Cullens decided to settle down they would have had to build their own house anyways to cater to all the different needs of each family member. Rosalie refused to live without a proper garage. Edward needed a library, Alice her own vanity room plus walk-in closet, and just recently, they added on a separate attachment to the house for me to stay. Edward and Bella had moved back in, and I'm sure Bella missed her cottage, but I knew she missed her family more. Before they built this house, I hadn't known how much Forks had meant to them.
As we walked, I couldn't hear Rosalie or Nessie. I couldn't hear anyone at all, and it was sort of creepy. I longed to be near her again. My nerves were getting the best of me every minute I was away from her. Edward glanced back at me, but said nothing. My jaw clenched, and then unclenched. I began worrying, wondering where they had taken her. Did they really think just because of one tiny incident that she would constantly be in harm's way now? I didn't understand the situation any better than they did at the moment but I knew one thing for sure, and that was that I would never hurt her. I had stopped it hadn't I? I didn't phase in front of her like my body wanted me to. I stopped. That should count for something, but not to these monsters. They still saw me as a threat, looking for any excuse to get rid of me. They didn't want her with me, I could feel it. Edward stopped suddenly right in front of Carlisle's door. "That's not true Jacob and you know very well that Carlisle and Esme have done everything they can to make you feel comfortable. We are just taking an extra precaution. That is all. We want to understand what's going on before…"
"Before you let her see me again?" I spat at him. "Is that it? Keep her from the wolf till you're sure she's safe? It's not going to work Edward!" I was shouting at him now. "I love her! And she loves me too you know. It was her that kissed me not the other way around! You stole Bella from me, and I won't let you take Nessie too!" He flinched at that last part. I hadn't meant for it to come out. I didn't even feel that way anymore, I knew Bella had made her choice. That hadn't been his fault entirely. "I'm not going to hurt her." I muttered. Why did this all feel like weird Déjà vu? Like I had this argument with him before? Oh right…because I had. "Jacob you know out of everyone I am the last person to keep you two apart. It hurts her I can see that. But please just understand. You remember Emily don't you? It hasn't been so long that you've forgotten your brother has it? Is one day with Nessie really worth a lifetime of guilt over something that may have been prevented?"He had a point, I knew it. I hated admitting when he was right. My shoulders slumped, and I followed as he opened the door and walked into Carlisle's office.
"Good afternoon boys, what can I do for you?" Carlisle stood, walking around the front of his desk to face us. "Sorry father, I do hope we are not interrupting." Edward spoke. Did they have to speak so proper all the time? It got on my nerves. It never used to bug me but 20 years of whatever century chat was starting to get to me. Carlisle chuckled softly then "Goodness no, I was just going over some cases from work. Talk away." He gestured to Edward, and he gave Carlisle a rundown of the day's events. Carlisle eyed me carefully as Edward spoke, and I tried looking everywhere in the room but in his eyes. He nodded when Edward was done and turned to him. "And what about Bella?"
"Bella left with Emmett, I thought it was best" Edward answered.
"Yes, good thinking." He walked back around his desk then and sat down, then turned to me and folded his hands in front of him. "So Jacob, You have no idea what could have brought this on? Did you feel angry or nervous at the time?" I bit my lip. As used to talking to Carlisle as I had gotten over the time I had spent with him, I didn't know who to talk to him about this. It was his grand-daughter. I bit my lip, and looked down. "No, not angry I mean. I was nervous yeah, but she just came at me, I didn't have time to think, I just reacted. I don't know how it happened. Then I felt myself getting hot, and I knew it was close so I shoved her away."
"Hmm" he looked deep in though and he brought his hand up to rub his forehead. "At the time were you…" long pause "aroused?" from beside me I could hear Edward growl in his throat. If it had been possible for me to shrink I would have right there in that office. Aroused? Was he seriously asking me this? I didn't know how to answer, so I didn't. I just stood there, not knowing what to say next. It grew deadly quiet in the room all around us, and suddenly the sound of Nessie's laughter drifted up from somewhere outside below. Edward grabbed my arm, keeping me from bolting out of the room and running to her. I wretched my arm away from his cold hand and stalked across the room to go sit on the couch. "So are you just gonna keep me here forever, questioning me to death, till you figure out what kind of deformity caused this problem? You know it's not even that big a deal. I stopped. I didn't hurt her! I stopped." I couldn't stop myself from saying the same things over and over. Was I trying to convince them? Or was I trying to convince myself? Carlisle looked over at me, with worry in his eyes. He sighed. "Jacob we just want to understand to be safe, I'm sure Edward has explained it to you. But I'm afraid I cannot give you any answers, I know very little about your kind, and what I do know I have learned from watching you and your brothers. Since you have never encountered this before, I am about as stumped as you are." I leaned over, propping my arms up on my knees and buried my face in my hands. I knew what this meant. I knew it from the moment it happened, and was hoping and praying that it wouldn't come to this. Edward turned to me; the most pained and worried expression on his face. Then he looked out the window, searching for something. "You have to leave don't you" it was almost a whisper as it came out.
"Yeah, I do." I grumbled into my hands. I didn't bother lifting my head.
"She can't come with you, can she?" He guessed.
"No, she can't. I have to go find Sam."
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Please expect a lot of cliffhangers. I love cliffhangers and as such will be ending most of my chapters that way. No worries though, I will try to keep the updates coming on a regular basis (most likely Mondays) so you will not be left waiting for weeks one end :)
For those of you who were creeped out by the whole Jacob-imprinting-on-a-baby thing I have tried to skip over most of that for you.
comment please! what do you think? should I just scrap the whole thing now? Do you need more Nessie? Let me know!
Thanks for reading, Joy
until next time :)