Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager and the characters belong to Paramount. The story events and any errors are mine.
Two weeks since their first sight of Earth in over seven years. Two weeks of debriefings, meetings, celebrations, family gatherings, commendations, and congratulations. This last dinner, in civilian dress and a more relaxed atmosphere than the State banquets, would be their good-bye as the crew of Voyager dispersed to their families and home worlds for three months of leave.
Kathryn stood at the balcony railing in the warm night air looking out over the San Francisco Bay. Lights, noise, the lives of thousands of people going about their routines were still a shock to her system. She gazed up at the stars and even the familiar night sky continued to overload her senses. She recognized the clusters of pinpoints, could name the constellations, could point the direction to familiar worlds and space stations. Soon, though, she was searching with a wistful look in the direction where they had burst through from the Borg transwarp conduit.
She recognized the foot steps behind her. Her First Officer, her protector, her friend; she knew that without him by her side she would not be standing on this balcony of the Starfleet Head Quarters formal hall. He approached her at the railing, stepping to her side, his shoulder behind hers but not touching her. They had stood so a thousand times and his nearness helped to calm her.
"I wondered where you went," he said softly. "I hardly got a chance to speak to you inside." He looked at her, the black gown she had chosen to wear drawing his gaze over her petite form. The sleeveless bodice was low cut but tasteful, hugging her curves and accenting her shape. The waist tapered into a thin velvet band before flaring out again over her hips. The softly pleated skirt flowed to her ankles where it revealed a pair of black, heeled sandals, the intricate straps highlighting her delicate feet. Her thick, auburn hair curled under slightly just above her bare shoulders and framed her face. She had even worn jewelry, a dainty gold necklace with a clear crystal teardrop that hung to just above the V of her gown, and shimmering crystal earrings.
"I didn't get to tell you inside – you look breathtaking," he said with a grin.
She smiled at him and replied, "You look wonderful, too. I've never seen you in a suit and tie."
Chakotay was in a tailored, black suit, a crisp, dove gray shirt, and a deep red tie. The splash of color accented his skin tone perfectly. His cuff links and tie pin were faceted black onyx set in gold. She had always found him handsome, but the way he looked tonight almost made her head spin. She turned back to the balcony with a heavy sigh.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I am. Maybe. I think it is just going to take time to readjust to being home."
She felt his hand gently grip her shoulder. "Talk to me, Kathryn."
She turned her face to him, the man who had stood by her, steadying her when she stumbled, advising her, planning with her, grieving with her, and laughing with her. They had experienced their share of difficulties, but always they settled again onto the deep foundation of their friendship.
"We did what we set out to do, Chakotay. We brought Voyager through in one piece. Our crew is safe and reunited with their families. We came home." She could feel tears in her eyes and tried to blink them back. "So why do I feel lost?" she whispered.
He put his hand on the small of her back and felt her lean into his shoulder. He loved her familiar smell and the calm that washed over him when she was near. His emotions had been rocky, too, and he understood how she felt. "Out there," he said, "it was just us. We were the head of a family of almost 150 people. You held their fate, and ours, in your hands. Every decision, every plan, every action was yours. You, we, have been abruptly relieved of that responsibility. We are no longer the Captain and Commander fighting our way through the Delta Quadrant. Here, we are just two people out of millions, with superior officers and a chain of command that goes above us taking away the burdens. I don't feel like we came home. I feel like we lost our home and our family."
Tears flowed down her cheeks as he put to words exactly what she had been feeling. She spoke with a shaky voice, her eyes pointed toward the bay but seeing something thousands of light years away. "You are no longer my First Officer. I have lost you, too, Chakotay."
His heart wrenched at her words. He put his other arm around her waist, pulling her into him. "Never, Kathryn," he soothed. "You haven't lost me. I am right here, and there is nowhere else in the universe I would rather be." He rested his chin on the top of her head. "I followed you 70,000 light years across the galaxy. I am not about to stop now."
They heard someone approaching behind them. Chakotay dropped his arms and turned while Kathryn tried to wipe the tears from her face. "Admiral Paris," he clipped. "Good evening, sir."
"Please, Chakotay, call me Owen. We are not on duty tonight." His brow furrowed when Kathryn finally faced him, her eyes red and her face wet from crying.
"Kathryn, dear, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. My son has had some problems adjusting, as well. It must be infinitely harder for you."
Owen stepped closer and grasped Kathryn's shoulders. "You brought Tom back to his mother and me, but his and B'Elanna's hearts are still at home on Voyager."
Kathryn nodded her head and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Owen. I'm a bit of a mess, aren't I?"
He smiled at her. "You are always lovely, Kathryn." He let go of her shoulders and looked from her to Chakotay. "I have been wanting to say something, but hesitated doing so. I need to say it, though, so I'm just going to come out with it." His hands tugged at his jacket and he looked down, then raised his head to them again. "I say this not just as an officer but as a friend, and I hope you will take it as meaning the best of intentions. I have read all of the reports from Voyager and had many conversations with Tom and B'Elanna. I have sat in on the debriefings of the crew since the day you arrived. The two of you accomplished what may easily be the greatest feat in Starfleet history. Together, you brought Voyager and her crew across thousands of light years of hostile space, with no support and no back up from the Federation. You melded your crew into a family unit tighter than any blood family I have ever known. The sacrifices you made are beyond measure, both professionally and personally."
He looked from one to the other of them again. "Kathryn, Chakotay, you accomplished your mission against impossible odds. You brought your ship home. Now, it is time to bring yourselves home. Find the peace you need. Find your feet again. Find each other. You deserve it."
He pointedly looked them each in the eye, then turned and walked away. Kathryn stared at his back, his words striking her to the core. She felt Chakotay's hand on her again and gazed up into those familiar dark brown eyes that she had seen squinted in rage, softened in concern, lined in fatigue, glazed in pain, and lit in laughter. Slowly, she turned and brought her hands up to his sides. He circled his arms around her, his hands resting lightly across her shoulder blades. He leaned his forehead against hers, neither of them saying a word but feeling a fundamental change in the way they touched.
She kept her hands on his sides and laid her cheek against his chest. He held her, feeling his storm of emotions begin to calm and lift. This was home. His heart belonged to her and holding her in his arms was the most grounding thing in the world. He caressed her hair and kissed the top of her head.
"Kathryn," he said quietly. "We are not lost as long we hold to each other just as we have for the last seven years. We could not be what we wanted to each other in the Delta Quadrant. But here on Earth, we are simply a man and woman linked by an unbreakable bond. There is nothing here to keep us apart anymore. Even Admiral Paris recognizes what we have together. We owe it to ourselves and to each other to see where this may lead."
She lifted her head and stepped back so she could look at him. "I know where this leads, Chakotay. I know where my heart has taken me for many years."
Now he was the one with tears in eyes. "Come and dance with me," he said. "It will be our first date, and I want everyone to know that the most beautiful woman on Voyager is mine."
She laughed and squeezed his hand. "I suppose it is time that I follow you for a while."
They walked hand in hand back to the banquet, entering the hall looking more relaxed and happy than they had since arriving in Federation Space. The crew exchanged a few raised eyebrows and smirks, but left their Commanders alone. Chakotay grabbed a glass of champagne and handed it to Kathryn before taking one for himself, their hands still locked together. They finished the drinks quickly and he led her to the dance floor. The orchestra had been playing upbeat tunes, but when they saw the couple reach the center, the conductor started a slow waltz. Chakotay put his hand on Kathryn's waist and raised the other hand still clasped around hers. She delicately grasped his arm just below the top of his shoulder, a gesture she had made many times in the past but that meant so much more this time.
He led her in the dance as they let the music and their love envelop them. Their eyes were on each other only, and the rest of the room ceased to exist. They stepped together in perfect timing, her spine arched but supple, his chest and arms squared to support her movements, her skirt flowing around her ankles with the lift and sway of her hips, his feet gliding them across the floor in intricate circles. The natural grace and beauty of each of them combined into a breathtaking, regal couple that touched the hearts of everyone. No one else in the room moved as they watched Chakotay spin Kathryn across the floor through the waltz.
As the last notes played, he gently bent her over his arm and raised her back up, their eyes meeting, to be followed by their lips. Seconds passed as they tenderly kissed until the hushed silence of the room was replaced by every member of the crew and many of their families erupting in cheers and applause. The couple broke the kiss and looked around the room, Kathryn blushing with a shy smile and Chakotay beaming. The conductor started another song, this one faster, and many other couples made their way onto the dance floor to join them.
After three more songs, Kathryn and Chakotay were breathing hard and ready for a break. He led her by the hand through the crowd, and when they had escaped the dancers he put his arm around her. They made their way to the table of champagne and stood together with their drinks. She felt a hand on her arm and turned to see B'Elanna smiling at her, Tom at her side. B'Elanna hugged her and Tom shook Chakotay's hand. "Captain, Commander," he said. "I can't tell you how happy we are to see you two together."
Kathryn blushed again as she looked at Chakotay. She grinned at Tom and said, "We gave all of you the last seven years of our lives. The next belong to us." By this time, more crew members had approached the couple, all of them smiling widely, congratulating them, and offering words of encouragement and thanks. It touched Kathryn deeply to know they all cared so much about her and Chakotay's happiness. She spotted Admiral Paris across the room, and he raised his glass and bowed his head to her. His words had broken the barrier of protocols for her, and she suspected that he knew that was what she needed. She returned his toast, her face alight with gratitude.
The crowd around them eventually thinned and dispersed again, and Kathryn turned to Chakotay. "What do you say we leave the party to the younger ones?" she asked. "I have three bottles of champagne in my apartment, gifts from well-wishers." She smiled playfully at him. "It is time for the Old Man and the Captain to retreat."
He nodded his head as he laughed at her use of B'Elanna's nickname for him. She took his arm and walked to the front of the room where she asked the orchestra for a pause in the music. When the instruments quieted, she raised her glass to the gathered crowd and steadied her voice.
"You all know I don't like saying goodbye, so I am only saying goodnight. I sincerely hope that I will continue to see and hear from each one of you. You will always be my steadfast, loyal crew, without whom I would not be standing here tonight. Enjoy your families and friends and build new and lasting memories. As you do, remember also the unbelievable experiences we shared together and know that I cherish each one of them. You gave of yourselves in the last seven years more than most Starfleet personnel give over their lifetimes. We all made sacrifices beyond measure. We lost some friends and gained new ones. We faced death and the birth of new life. We explored regions of space we never imagined existed and met new races of people and beings beyond telling. Because of your dedication to Voyager, to Commander Chakotay and me, and to each other, we overcame every problem, every unforeseeable risk, and every enemy together."
Kathryn paused as she looked at Chakotay and back. "We forged friendships that will endure for the rest of our days. We cried, laughed, grieved, celebrated, hurt, and healed together. We held each other up when needed, and encouraged one another to reach far beyond what we thought our own potential to be. No words will ever adequately express what I feel in my heart for you. I am so very proud of you and know you will find success in whatever you choose as your next journey. With deepest gratitude and with love, I bid you goodnight." She stepped back and let Chakotay have the floor.
He cleared his throat and tugged at his ear. "Well, you should know by now that nobody can beat Kathryn's little speeches, so I'm not going to try." Snickers could be heard throughout the room and he grinned at them. "It has been a wild ride, and no better people in the Alpha or Delta Quadrant to take it with. If I am asked twenty years from now how we managed to accomplish it, I still won't be able to give a good answer except that we did it together. And with leola root." The crew erupted in laughter, their families looking confused.
He could hear Kathryn behind him laughing, too, as he continued. "I was Maquis, a wanted outlaw who Captain Janeway was supposed to capture." He glanced at Kathryn. "And capture me, she did. She took my crew onto her ship to save our lives, and had the courage and the wisdom to bring us into the fold. We managed to meld two very disparate crews into one big family, and I am certainly a better man because of it.
"I expect you to report in frequently, and I believe I was next on the list for the role of Godfather. I will be waiting for my call." He softened his voice a little as he said, "We built a lifetime of memories in less than a decade, and now begins the next life. May your hearts find peace wherever you go, and may the Spirits always guide you toward home."
Hers were not the only eyes blinking rapidly as the crowd raised their glasses and cries of "Hear, hear!" The orchestra began playing softly again as she clasped Chakotay's arm and they walked to the exit. It was unsettling, to say the least, to be leaving everyone behind. Still, Kathryn knew it was the inevitable, final conclusion to their journey. She could not have faced this moment without Chakotay at her side, and to do so with their feelings for each other declared freely and openly replaced her trepidations with hope.