What if book Blair had ever hooked up with book Chuck Bass? Here's what the morning after may have been like...

Sea Cruise

The sun was streaming right in her eyes, and that was the first indication Blair Waldorf had that she was not at home in her own bed with her sleep mask over her eyes. As she slid her hands along her body and felt not only that she was nude, but also that her skin was covered in suntan oil and she smelled like coconut and rum...sort of as if someone had poured a bottle of Hawaiian Tropics suntan oil all over her...yet she never went tanning because she was always paranoid of getting skin cancer.

As she moved a bit more, she realized that the sheets she was laying on were black satin (or maybe they were egg plant?) and they held the strong scent of too many cigars and Drakkar Noir aftershave. Plus if she smelled the air, she could just catch the scent of various alcohols that had been spilled over time, as well as fried eggs, and animal shit. Reluctantly opening her eyes, to the otherwise dim room, Blair realized that her suspicions and fears were true...she was on the Bass family's yacht in the bedroom cabin of the venerable Chuck Bass...naked in his bed as well...and she had little idea to how she got there.

Before she could get out of bed, Chuck suddenly walked into the room, wearing a loosely tied Ralph Lauren robe, his hair slicked back a little from either having just taken a shower...or maybe it was just his natural sleaze...or too much product? He had his pet monkey Sweetie perched on his shoulder and was feeding him peanuts, when he looked down and noticed Blair starting to rouse from his bed.

"Ah...good morning...you're finally awake! Do you want to go for another round, sweet cakes? You know the Bass man's always ready to go!" Chuck drawled, oozing charm as he leaned down for a kiss.

"Uh...no! Down boy! Anyway, Chuck Bass, how in the heck did I end up in bed with you?!" Blair fumed as she held her hand out to keep him at bay, and gave him an evil eye.

"Oh...don't you remember, Blair? Last night...partying with Kati, Is, and Penelope here on my yacht? You girls had invited yourselves over with the pretense of using my mother's tanning bed, here on the yacht...and of course it turned into a party. You were a little uptight for some reason, so we got you to loosen up." Chuck replied as he walked around grabbing some clothes and pouring himself a drink from the bar.

Reluctantly Blair tried to remember, and did briefly recall becoming angry with Nate for some reason, then heading off with Kati, Is, and Penelope, and maybe meeting up with Chuck to drink margaritas but the rest was a bit foggy. "I can remember a little partying with the girls...but still where are they? And how did I end up in bed with YOU, Chuck?" Blair asked.

"Simple. The rest of the girls stayed until midnight...but you decided to stay behind and begged me to take you on a sea cruise on my yacht...you even said you'd show me your version of Josephine Baker's Banana Dance...so with incentive like that, who was I to refuse? And I must admit you are one fine little dancer, sweet cakes...even Sweetie Pie was impressed! He almost ate your bananas himself!" Chuck laughed seductively.

"Oh my god! Is that what I had on?" Blair gasped as she glanced at the skirt made of plastic bananas that was laying on the floor beside the bed, alongside a faux coconut shell bra.

"Oh yes...but of course you didn't have it on for long. And I must also commend you, Waldorf...you're better in bed than I thought you'd be. Being the venerable ice queen that you always presented yourself as in school. You're quite the cheeky monkey once you're loosened up with some liquid courage." he mused.

"Oh you...you ass! You know I never would've slept with you, if it hadn't been for the margaritas and banana daiquiris you kept making last night!" Blair fumed, as she suddenly recalled brief flashes of her evening with Chuck. "What time is it?"

"Ah so you do remember? I knew no one could entirely forget a night spent with me." he laughed, then went on "Anyway it's about 9:45..."

"What?! Where are my clothes? Wasn't I wearing a bikini?" she gasped.

"Oh its a little too late now. Last night you declared that since it's Independence Day, you wanted to let freedom ring, so after I provided you with the banana costume, you threw your bikini overboard!" Chuck laughed.

"What?! I don't believe you...you might've just made that up you sneaky basshole!" she fumed.

"Tis true, Waldorf. I swear its true. Anyway why are you so worried about the time? I thought you liked hanging out with me?" he asked.

"Only if I have to, Chuck. Otherwise I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole! Anyway I'm supposed to meet Nate at my family's Independence Day picnic at 10:30 AM, so I have to find my clothes." Blair admitted.

"Well honey I don't know how you'll be able to make that, since after our sea cruise, I have us anchored about half a mile off shore..." Chuck admitted.

"What?! I'm stuck on this yacht with you?!" she gasped.

"Yes...the only ones on here are you and me and my monkey." he laughed.

"But...I...I have to get back...otherwise what will Nate think?" Blair whined in panic.

"What? That last night you tapped that Bass? And you did...several times in fact! Anyway quit your whining Waldorf, or I'll give you something to whine about, just like last night." Chuck slyly drawled as he stripped down and began to dress.

"Shut up Bass, you self imposed ass! You think you're such hot stuff...with your money...and your body..." Blair bellowed as she inadvertently checked Chuck Bass over as he stood half naked in front of her. Yeah he wasn't half bad looking with his fairly fit body, his chest hair, and his tanned skin...testament to too many sessions in his mother's tanning bed and his half Mediterranean background...but he was still a bit of a sleaze, even if he was hotter than Nate.

"See something you like Waldorf? I can tell you're checking me out..." he mused.

"So what if I am? You might be hot stuff, Chuck Bass, but I'm still staying loyal to Nate...and he'll never learn about what transpired between us last night...not a word...am I making myself clear, Bass?" Blair seethed.

"Ah crystal clear...well you know me, Waldorf, I'll never tell..." Chuck mused.

"Okay thanks Chuck...hmm...why does that phrase sound familiar?" Blair pondered.

"Hmm...you wonder. Well if you want any breakfast, I made some eggs or you can help yourself to whatever is left in the galley. I could make you my special hangover cure...sure to cure what ails you and put hair on your chest." he offered.

"Ha ha...by the looks of you, you look like you've had enough of your hangover cures to last a lifetime." she teased, then went on "Thanks but no thanks, Chuck, I think I'll just go take a shower."

"Fine...just don't use all of my bodywash. The towels are in the cabinet to the left." he mentioned.

"Thanks Chuck, but what about clothes?" she asked.

"Oh you don't want to hang out in just my bed sheet all day? It makes a nice toga on you!" he teased.

"Uh...no I'd rather not." she chided him.

"Ah you're welcome to whatever's in my closet, Blair. Chicks are always leaving something behind whenever I have them over...usually several somethings! You're the first to throw her bikini overboard though...that's why I knew we're more alike than you realized." he teased.

"Thanks! What did you say, Chuck? I didn't catch the last part past the shower." she yelled.

"That we're more alike than you realized." he repeated.

"Me like you? As if!" she laughed.

"Yeah ha ha...I guess not." he replied as he walked off.

Blair continued with her shower, wrapping herself in a towel, before she sneaked back to Chuck's room and found his closet full of clothes from both genders. He certainly had quite the collection of clothing, obviously from his various past conquests, and most of it designer. She picked out a purple bikini and a blue net-like shirt, along with a pair of shorts that were several sizes too big, but she made them work. She slipped out of the bedroom and found Chuck sitting on a stool in the galley kitchen, drinking a glass of orange juice, and handing her one.

"Thanks Chuck."

"No problem."

"Oh if Nate finds out about this, I'll die! I need to get there to meet my family and Nate for the family picnic! If I'm late then I'll have to explain myself...and no one would believe I was with you! In fact nobody can find out!" Blair declared.

"Blair you do know that Nate's planning on sailing the America's Cup this fall with his uncle, so he won't be going with you to Yale?" Chuck asked her.

"That's just his idea...but I still have seven weeks to convince him otherwise." she haughtily admitted.

"Ha good luck with that one, Blair." he sarcastically replied.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, annoyed.

"Just that you can't always have control of everything in your life." Chuck admonished her, then changed his tone back to seductively jovial. "Anyway, it's almost ten o'clock and I have guests coming over, so..."

"Guests?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes triplets, Pixie, Trixie, and Dixie are scheduled to arrive for a morning shiatsu massage. You're welcome to stay if you want to...I might have enough stamina for four at once..." Chuck seductively mused.

"OH GOOD GAWD?! You certainly do think highly of yourself! What do you think you are, Chuck Bass, Mount Vesuvius?" Blair gasped incredulously.

"So that's a 'No?'" he bemusedly teased.

"Of course its a NO!" she bellowed.

Suddenly before either could say anything else, three personal watercrafts came buzzing along, docking alongside the Bass family yacht, as the three bikini clad young women disembarked from what they'd rode in on as they climbed the ladder Chuck had let down for them.

"Welcome aboard my beauties, we've been expecting you...and let me say that all three of you are welcome indeed. Why don't you step inside for a little refreshment...step this way..." Chuck slickly greeted the triplets

Triplets they were not, although Chuck's definition of "triplets" apparently extended to women of various bands of the ethnic rainbow, Blair realized as she watched Chuck escort the three young women into the yacht. Realizing that Chuck and the three women would be distracted for awhile, Blair saw her chance to escape. Pulling her hair back in a ponytail (because the Bass family yacht was lacking a flat iron to properly do her hair) and donning a pair of shades and flip flops that said 'Corona', Blair slipped down the ladder, climbed on a Sea Doo, and made her way back to shore, hoping that no one would recognize her escaping from Chuck Bass's yacht in such a crazy get up. To Blair this had to be the ultimate walk of shame, escaping the Bass yacht, incognito on a Sea Doo.

When she got back to shore, she turned the Sea Doo back into the rental place, receiving the rental fee back for bringing it back in less than an hour. She then used that money for a cab back to the beach house where she found her cell phone and donned a strapless Prada dress, her black Manolos, Fendi bag, and was able to make it to the party just in time.

When she saw Serena, she happily greeted her friend, and started looking for Nate, asking where he was.

"Serena, have you seen Nate?" Blair asked.

'"Not today...but where were you at last night? Your mom called my house but I had to make an excuse for you. I told her you spent the night at Kati's." Serena replied.

"That's good because you wouldn't believe me if I told you." Blair said.

"Aw you can try me." Serena replied.

"Well..." Blair began but was soon interrupted by a text message coming in on her cell phone.

'Spotted: B on a Sea Doo this morning. Was she out for a joyride...or on an ultimate walk of shame from the yacht of a certain wealthy playboy...I wonder if anyone can C who that boy might B? Xoxo – Gossip Girl'

"Blair what was that message from Gossip Girl? Did you hook up with Chuck Bass on his family's yacht?" Serena gasped.

"Ha ha...I'll never tell...uh where's Nate?" Blair nervously replied.

"Well I guess we're all entitled to our secrets, B...so I won't ask you again." Serena mused.

"Thanks. Still do you really think I'd tap that Bass...er...ass?" Blair replied haughtily.

"I don't know...after my fiascos...I wouldn't be surprised at anything anymore! By the way I should tell you about the time I hooked up with this movie star..." Serena began as she told her story and redirected Blair's attention elsewhere.