I peer into the one-sided glass, watching Peeta sit quietly on his bed. He stares at his hands, not moving, not even looking like he's breathing.
Why am I here again?
Finally, I can't take it any longer and I gently open the door. Peeta's eyes snap up to me, and I can already see the hatred on his face. He still doesn't move, just glaring at me with cold fury, and I find myself wishing that he would just strangle me again, just so I don't have to see that look on his face.
"Can I sit here?" I ask, gesturing to the floor.
He doesn't respond. Still sitting, still glaring, still hardly breathing.
I sit down, hugging my knees to my chest, resting my chin on my knees.
"Why are you here?" he finally asks quietly.
I flinch as if he slapped me. "Peeta…I want to help you."
He laughs, hardly sounding human. "Help me? You abandoned me. Left me for dead. Lead me to believe that you had feelings for me?" He spits the word. "You'll be more help if you're dead."
I don't respond. There's nothing that I can say.
We sit there for what feels like hours, looking at each other. Him glaring, me staring. He finally breaks the silence again.
"Did you volunteer for Prim?"
The question catches me off guard. "What?"
"Did you volunteer for Prim?" he asks again. "Real or not real?"
"Real," I respond after a while. "I couldn't let her go into the Games. Not her. Why?"
His brow furrows, and he lifts his hands to rub his eyes. He clutches his head afterward, thumbs massaging his temples. "You were created by the Capitol. You're a mutt. But you have a sister…? And I can remember you volunteering."
He looks up at me, and I can see tears brimming his eyes. The cold fury that I had seen moments before has vanished. Instead, all that remains is a helpless boy. "What's happened to me?"
I want to run to him. Hold him in my arms to comfort him as he did me. But I fight the urge down.
"We're trying to help you," I say again. "I'm trying to help you. Why don't you…ask simpler questions?"
He nods, wiping at his eyes. He draws in a shaky breath. "When you sing, the birds fall silent. Real or not real?"
Again, his question almost renders me speechless. "…Real," I finally say.
Peeta nods again, gripping the edge of his bed. "The rebels will kill me. Real or not real?"
"No," I choke out. "Not real. I won't let them."
He suddenly jerks violently and cries out, gripping his head again. "They're using you!" he screams. His eyes have clouded over again. "They're going to torture me! Like they did before! I should be dead. You should be dead!" He tries to stand up, pupils dilated, arms stretched again towards my neck, but the shackles on his ankles keep him down. I press against the wall, horrified at his fit. Tears run down his face again, and he gives up trying to fight against the shackles and instead cries into his hands.
My heart is racing as I watch him sob. I'm frozen against the wall, unable to think of what to do.
He finally manages to calm down again, heaving shaking breaths. I stand up on trembling legs and he notices.
"No, please," Peeta says. "I can do this." He tries to steady his breathing but a new wave of quiet tears fall down his face.
But he misread what I was about to do. I wasn't planning on leaving at all. As he tries to regain his breath, and before I can stop myself from what I'm about to do, I walk to him in two steps and wrap my arms around him, pressing my lips against his.
His whole body tenses and begins to shake, but I just deepen the kiss, tangling my hands into his hair, feeling his tears on my own cheeks. And soon the shaking subsides, and I can feel his trembling hands clutch my face and he begins to return the kiss.
I pull away, opening my eyes, and I can see his clear, bright blue ones staring back into mine, and it looks like Peeta, the real Peeta, has returned.
"You love me, real or not real?" I whisper.
And in a steady voice, he responds, "Real."
I reread the Hunger Games series in preparation for Catching Fire, and I was always disappointed with how Katniss was toward Peeta when they rescued him from the Capitol. So I changed things up a little and this is what happened.
~littlebitclever
P.S. I know Real or Not Real happens later in the book, but I changed it here in regards to the story.