This is a new story, this idea came to my mind while I was writing my other story "Kiss in the snow" but this one has nothing to do with that story. Hope you like it :). This chapter is short but I will try to make the next chapters a little longer.
Normal POV
Exactly one week ago Kai accidently kissed Tala, the circumstances of that kiss are not really important for this story, so let's just say that they kissed each other in accident and that's all. The kiss only last less than five seconds, but those were five seconds that have been driving Kai nuts since that moment.
Kai's POV
I think that I'm really crazy, I just can't believe what is happening to me, the other day I kissed Tala, yes, I kissed him, but don't freak out, it was an accident, I didn't do it on purpose, of course. It was an awkward moment, really awkward, but since it was pretty clear that it was an accident the awkwardness only last a few seconds, then, we laughed it off and everything was fine and normal and the best thing is that no one saw us, so it was perfect. I mean perfect because nobody saw us, not because the kiss was perfect agh, why did I clarify that? It was clear that I was talking about the situation not the kiss, I mean, not the situation but the fact that there was no one present agh, I should shut up about that now.
What's not perfect are my head and mi mind, and I just can't believe that I'm going to say it, but since that fucking kiss I just can't stop thinking about it, about him, I feel so disgusted with myself right now. I'm not gay, and I refuse to think about it deeper, I know I like girls and I'm not in denial, it's just that the fucking kiss won't leave me alone. That's all.
The other day I dream about Tala and when I woke up, I don't know I just wanted to never sleep or dream again, it was not nice, not at all. I'm not going to say what the dream was about, but it was awful, really really awful, and, of course, I was not kissing him on it, not at all, no, that didn't happen.
And my misery doesn't end there because today I found myself looking at him without even realizing it, I spent like ten second looking at him and thinking about that fucking kiss, and it was not nice, and no, I'm not in denial of anything. I'm straight and I'm sure about it.
Ahg, I just don't know what's happening to me, I just want to turn back time and never kiss him, it was a mistake, a total mistake. I'm so confused and I'm never confused about anything, this is not nice, not at all. I think I'm really going to get crazy and I'm not exaggerating.
And there he is now, I think he is looking for someone, oh, he saw me, and now he is coming my way.
"Kai have you seen Spencer?"
Yes, that was Tala talking with me, oh yes, I should answer him.
"No, I haven't"
"Agh, I can't find him anywhere and we were going to practice, he is never late"
"I can't help you with it"
"Well, screw him; we will practice without him..."
And where are my eyes now, oh yeah, looking at his mouth, and fuck my fucking eyes, I hate them. I didn't even hear what he told me I was so deconcentrated, I think he said bye, he is leaving now so maybe he just said that.
Have I already talked about his eyes? I love to look at them... what the fuck did I just say? What am I? A girl? And well okay, I will admit it, I'm in denial, I just don't want to think that king of stuff about him, but I will be totally lying if I said that I didn't want to kiss him once again while he was talking to me, and it was not the first time that happens. Agh, I will never, never but never in my life let anyone know that I'm having these thoughts about him, it will only stay in my mind.
Fuck, I was so nervous when he was talking to me, ahg I hate that.
So, now that I have clarify things with my own mind I can finally said that feeling his lips against mine was, like, I don't even have words to describe it, oh yes it was awkward but it was nice as well, it was awesome and I just can't stop thinking about that kiss and about kissing him again and see how it would feel if it was a longer kiss. I have been wondering that for a week. God, I'm so pathetic.
Oh, yes, I know I'm supposed to not have feeling, but I'm not asexual and I'm a human, and I'm just an stupid guy who doesn't want other people to know what is going on in his head or what he feels but I'm not perfect, I have weaknesses as well, as every other human being.
I just want to clarify something, I don't really know if I like him or not, I just feel a little but just a little, little little attracted to him and I hate to admit that. So when I said I was straight I was not lying, was I?
And I just want this tournament to end as soon as possible but it hasn't even started yet, agh.
And well, that is my reality right now; I'm just confused as fuck.
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