Alone For Christmas

by hana-to-mame

It's Mike's first Christmas without his grandmother. Harvey tries to make things better. Slash.

Alone For Christmas (A Suits oneshot)

Rated: T

Pairing: Harvey/Mike

Summary: It's Mike's first Christmas without his grandmother. Harvey tries to make things better. Slash.

Posted 17 December 2011

Mike stumbled out of the bar, narrowly escaping the burley man who'd threaten to throw him out for being too drunk.

He sighed as he slumped against the damp bricks of the building. It was the third bar he'd been to that night. One would think bars would be closed on Christmas Eve. But, no. In fact, tonight was probably one of the busiest of all the days of the year.

As he staggered down the block, the world looking bleary and bleak, he came across another bar. This place looked way to swanky for him. Even through the gallons of alcohol that was currently pulsing through his veins and melting his brain, he could tell this was not a bar for him. He probably would get thrown out as soon as he walked in because they'd know just by looking at him that he was just a poor bar-hopping slob.

But that didn't stop him from pulling the door and stepping inside. He slunk over to the stools and slouched in his seat against the bar, telling the tender to give him something. Anything. The fancily dressed man just eyed him before setting a bottle in front of him.

Mike guzzled it within a few sips. He pulled some bills from his pocket and threw them on the counter before lying his head down on the bar, just about ready to pass out. He was that much closer to his goal.

"Shouldn't you be saving that money?" a familiar voice hit his ears.

Mike turned his head slightly, peeking up over his elbow to see Harvey looking at him from the seat beside him. "Got no reason to."

"It's Christmas Eve." Harvey reminded him.

As if he didn't know. "That's why'm 'ere." he slurred in return.

"You celebrate Christmas by getting drunk off your ass?"

Mike nodded, letting his eyes close again. "Do now."

"Your grandmother isn't going to be happy when you show up with a hangover tomorrow."

Mike shook his head this time. As well as he could, anyway, the way he was practically part of the bar. "Don't matter."

Harvey scowled. "What do you mean?"

"Like you care. 'M goin' home." He tried to stand, but ended up falling backwards into Harvey.

"You're not biking all the way back to your apartment like this." Harvey ordered.

"Nope. Gonna walk."

"Why don't you get a cab?"

"Don't like bein' lone in cabs."

Harvey rolled his eyes and took hold of Mike's arm. "Come on."

"Get off!" Mike tried to shove Harvey off of him, but he wasn't able to release his boss's iron grip.

"I'll take you home. Come on, you shouldn't be out drinking on Christmas Eve."

"Hey... you're here too." Mike said, making his point by staring daggers at Harvey.

"I came in for a nice relaxing drink, but seeing my associate in a drunken stupor kinda ruined that for me."

"S'rry." Mike said, his head dropping down onto Harvey's shoulder. But he tried to lift it, pushing himself up and away from Harvey. He didn't need his help. "I'll just..." he pointed to the door and began to practically crawl out of the building.

"No," Harvey protested, grabbing Mike again and supporting him as they walked outside, "I told you I'd take you home. You need to go home safely and get some sleep."

"Safe?"

"If you get mugged or hit by a car or something, how would that look on me?"

"Oh."

"Yeah." Harvey said. He got a cab and stuffed Mike inside before climbing in himself. He directed the driver to his condo.

"Not my address..." Mike observed.

"I know. I'm taking you back to my place. Who knows what'll happen if I leave you alone."

"But... I wanta be alone."

Harvey looked at him. "It's Christmas Eve."

"I know." Mike suddenly felt a pounding in his head. Without more alcohol, he was unable to stave off the pain that came as a result of the amount he'd had before.

"Is someone going to be around tomorrow? To make sure you haven't fallen in a gutter somewhere?"

"Like who?"

"I don't know. I don't keep tabs on who you spend time with." NowthatTrevor'soutofthepicture,anyway, he thought to himself.

Mike closed his eyes and slouched into the seat. "No."

"You're not going to see your grandmother?"

"Can't."

"Why not?"

Mike shrugged. "Cuz."

"That's not an answer, Mike."

Mike's head turned toward Harvey and he tried hard to focus on the man through the blur in his head. "She's dead, Harvey." His voice was quiet and surprisingly controlled.

If Harvey had never felt guilt before, he certainly did now. "I didn't know..."

"Didn't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Didn't want you to think I was weak."

Harvey pursed his lips. Mike was anything but weak. Maybe a little foolish at times, but definitely not weak. "You should have told me."

Mike smiled tiredly. "You care."

"Don't go putting words in my mouth, kid."

"You care, Harvey" Mike repeated softly, before appearing to drift off into sleep.

Harvey just shook his head and let Mike sleep as the cabbie drove them around the city. When they reached Harvey's condo, he tried to wake him. He did not succeed. So he sighed and grunted before scooping Mike into his arms and carrying him up.

"Mike," he tried to wake him again as he laid him down on the guest bed. "Michael."

"Hmm?" Mike stirred slightly.

"You should change. You don't want to sleep in those clothes, they smell like booze."

"Kay."

"I'll put some pajamas on that chair for you, okay? I'll leave and then you can change and go to sleep. If you need me I'm in the room next door."

Mike nodded.

Harvey noticed a sadness in Mike's eyes and took a deep breath before sitting next to Mike on the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure."

"Yeah."

"You don't sound sure," Harvey prodded.

"Admit you care. Say you care 'bout me, and I'll tell you what's wrong."

Harvey looked away. Did Mike really need him to say it? Hadn't he saved him from drinking himself to death? He'd gotten him here safely, carried him inside, and offered him clothes and a bed. As if he'd do that if he didn't... well, maybe that was his problem. He couldn't even admit it to himself even after thinking about it for hours. So he turned back to Mike, whose eyes were bleary yet expectant. "What would you like me to say?"

"Anything."

Harvey knew the general idea of what Mike was asking for. But he just couldn't. So he reached out a hand and rested it on Mike's head, running his thumb over his warm forehead. Mike's eyes fluttered closed at Harvey's touch. "Mike..."

"I knew you cared."

"Yeah, well, there's not much use in denying it anymore, is there?"

"Nope."

"So." Harvey started again. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"It's my... my first Christmas without her. I just... I've never been alone before, and..."

"And you went out drinking to forget about that."

"Yeah." Mike admitted.

"Well... I know I don't compare to your grandmother, but you could stay here tomorrow."

"I can spend Christmas with you?"

"Of course. I have some family coming by in the morning, but I'm not going to kick you out."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Harvey stood and walked to the door.

"Harvey..."

Harvey looked back at him and saw his eyes shining in the dark room. "Yes?"

"I care about you too."

"I know. Go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Harvey left Mike's room and shut the door, making his way back to his own room. He changed into his pajamas and laid down in his bed, thinking about how strange it felt to have his associate just a room away, separated from him by just a thin wall. He did care about Mike, he knew he did. It was just so damned hard to admit when he feared Mike would care back. Because then where would they go?

He fell asleep thinking about Mike. About how he didn't want him to have to use alcohol to take away his problems. About how sorry he really was for the loss of his grandmother. And about how much he absolutely did not want him to be alone on Christmas. Ever.

X

The next morning a glaring light woke Harvey before his alarm clock. He took a few minutes to lay there and think. He thought about his family and then remembered... Mike.

A smile crept across his lips as he thought about Mike. He remembered just how it felt when he touched him, and how glad he was when he agreed to stay for Christmas. Granted, he was going to have a hellish hangover, but still. He wouldn't be alone.

With that thought he got out of bed and walked to the guest room. He knocked on the door, but got no response. So he cracked it open and peeked in, seeing Mike still sleeping. He shook his head and walked in, again taking a seat on the side of the bed. He just looked at Mike, seeing how peacefully he was sleeping. He almost didn't want to wake him, but he also didn't want him to sleep all day. That would defeat the purpose of having him here.

He watched him for a minute or so, taking in the sight of him shirtless, chest half covered by the blanket and imagining him wearing the pajama pants he gave him. Then Mike took a deep breath and blinked his eyes open, eventually focusing on Harvey and smiling. "How long have you been watching me?"

"Long enough to stare you awake." Harvey joked back. "Merry Christmas."

Mike chuckled. "Thanks for letting me stay here last night."

"It's fine. I couldn't let you risk hurting yourself on your own."

"Because you care about me?" Mike taunted.

"I thought we went over this already."

"We did." Mike conceded. "So thanks for that. I-"

"You needed it, I know." He reached out and brushed Mike hair off his forehead, letting his fingers get tangled in his messy hair.

"Mmm..." Mike purred. "Do you have some kind of fascination with touching my hair, Harvey?"

"Well, it is soft. How's your head?"

Mike shrugged. "It's okay."

"Don't lie to me, kid, tell me how bad it hurts and I'll get you something for it."

"It's pounding like you wouldn't believe," Mike relented, rolling onto his back.

"I figured. I'll see what I have. You can shower if you want, and borrow some of my clothes for the day."

"Well... um..." Mike stuttered, "I was actually just going to put my clothes back on."

"No way. You're not meeting my family in a smelly, wrinkled suit."

"That's the thing, Harvey. I'm not staying."

Harvey's face fell, slightly surprising Mike. "Why?"

"It's Christmas. You want to spend it with your family. I don't want to intrude on that."

"But..."

"It would be strange, wouldn't it? For your family to show up and see some random guy here, wearing your clothes. Besides, how often do you get to see your family? I wouldn't feel right taking that away by being that awkward person that no one invited."

"I'm inviting you." Harvey told him. "And I'd really like you to stay. No one should be alone on Christmas."

"I can't. This isn't a temporary thing. I'm probably going to be alone for a while, so I might as well get used to it. I can't expect a dashing man in a suit to just magically appear and save me every year."

"But, I... you think I'm dashing?"

"I think it's pretty obvious what I think of you." Mike said seriously.

Harvey took his hand out of Mike's hair and looked away. "I thought I was clear about my thoughts as well."

Mike pushed the covers off himself and stood on his knees, sneaking to the edge of the bed to sit next to Harvey. He grabbed Harvey chin and turned his head to face him. "You're supposed to look at someone when you confess to them."

"We're not schoolgirls, Mike. And I'm not confessing anything. I'm just... reiterating what I thought we both knew."

"You never really confirmed anything for me before though, so it was all speculation on my part. Technically, you still haven't really said anything."

"There's a lot I want to say to you." Harvey said, putting his arms around Mike and pulling him a bit closer. His eyes bored into Mike's, neither blinking for what seemed like an eternity. "Mainly, I want you to stay."

"I shouldn't."

"You should. Please."

"Please? Harvey Specter said 'please'?"

"I really want you here. I don't want you to be alone. And there's still a lot we need to discuss."

Mike leaned closer, intending on rebutting Harvey again, but was sidetracked by the intensity of his boss's eyes, how they were practically demanding access to his very soul. He felt Harvey shift, and suddenly there was less than a centimeter between their lips, and Mike could feel Harvey's hot breath on him.

And then a bell rang throughout the apartment. "That'll be my brother and his family." He stood and walked to the door, turning around to get one more look at Mike in his pajamas. "We'll talk more tonight. Go ahead and shower. I'll find something for your headache."

Washeabouttokissme? Mike wondered in his head, nodding as Harvey exited the room. He navigated the hallways and eventually found the bathroom, showering and dressing in the clothes he took from the dresser in the guest room.

"Mike," Harvey called out when he saw his associate emerging, clean and dressed, from the hallway, "come over here."

Mike walked over, trying not to show how out of place he felt. "Hey, Harvey."

"Don, this is Mike." Harvey introduced. "Mike, this is my younger brother, Donald."

Don smiled broadly, a smile similar to Harvey's. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"You, too." Mike said, still feeling tired.

Harvey leaned in and spoke softly into Mike's ear, "I've got some aspirin in the kitchen for you."

"Thanks." Mike said shyly.

"Go take it and then come back out so you can meet everyone else."

Mike nodded before making his way to Harvey's kitchen. He saw the medicine bottle on a high shelf and a clean glass setting aside of the sink. He filled the glass with water and took two pills before joining everyone else in the living room. He was introduced to Marla, Don's wife, and their three children, Samantha who was nine, Amber who was eight, and Timothy who was six. He noticed how he wasn't referred to as Harvey's associate, but just as himself. He liked that.

"Who wants to open presents?" Harvey asked the children.

They all screamed and ran over to the tastefully decorated tree he failed to notice the night before.

"Okay," Don said, "everyone grab a present and we'll take turns opening them."

Mike watched as the children all scrambled to find the best present to open first. Don and Marla each grabbed one as well, and Harvey searched around the side of the tree and pulled two out from underneath it. He took a seat next to Mike on the sofa and handed him one. He stared at the gift, then glanced back up at Harvey, confused. "I get a present?"

"Presents." Harvey corrected. "This is just the first one."

"But Harvey I didn't..."

"Don't worry, I didn't expect you to get me anything."

"Then why did you..."

"Mike," Harvey said in his most soothing voice, "we'll talk about it later."

Mike took Harvey for his word and nodded. They watched each of the kids open their presents. Then when it was the adults' turns, Harvey told Mike to go first.

"But..." Mike protested. He really wasn't comfortable taking the focus away from everyone else.

"Just go ahead." Harvey urged, pressing the present closer to Mike.

Mike looked at Don and Marla, who were staring back at him with expectant smiles.

"...Okay," Mike nodded and picked the paper open. He laughed a little when he saw the expensive, wide tie lying neatly inside.

"I figured if I wanted you to dress better, I'd have to get you better clothes."

"One tie qualifies as 'better clothes'?" Mike chuckled.

Harvey nodded. "It's a start, at least."

They continued to take turns opening their gifts. The adults didn't have as many as the children, of course, but they all had a nice time conversing over their gifts. Mike received three more gifts from Harvey after the tie. The large box of highlighters made him laugh some more. But he blushed and glared at Harvey when he unwrapped a collar, and repeated the process when he opened a small box to reveal a silver, bone-shaped dog tag with his name on it.

"Does Mike have a dog?" Amber asked?

The three other grown-ups just kind of laughed, leaving Mike to desperately try to lessen the red in his face, and the children to give each other confused looks.

After all the presents were unwrapped, they prepared to go out for a meal together.

"You can borrow one of my coats, Mike," Harvey told him.

"I'm coming with you?"

"Of course you are." Harvey grabbed his hand and led him to the closet where he kept his coats. "I told you I wasn't going to let you be alone," he said softly, "and besides, the kids like you."

"I don't know if I can afford-"

"Ah," Harvey held up a hand, shutting him up, "I'm covering the bill, Mike. Don't even try arguing with me. You're coming with, and that's final."

Mike smiled a little, his eyes glowing in the dimly lit hallway. "Okay." He took a jacket, wrapping it around himself as they walked out of the hallway.

"Stop right there, you two," Marla said with a cheeky grin. The boys stood still. Mike wondered what was going on, and Harvey had his poker face on, so he couldn't even gauge it to find out. Then she lifted her eyebrows and glanced above them, hoping they would get the message.

They did. They both looked up, and Mike felt his stomach drop as he saw a little green plant hanging above them.

"Mistletoe...?" Mike asked, bringing his eyes back down, on level with Harvey's, which seemed closer than before.

"You know what happens now," Marla prompted. The three children giggled, and Don had an amused look on his face.

Mike put a hand on Harvey's chest, intent on pushing him away. "Harvey, you don't have to-" He was rendered unable to finish his statement as his mouth was claimed by another. Harvey's. He felt Harvey's lips moving against his in a simple yet deep kiss.

It was over as quickly as it had begun, Harvey walking toward the door as Mike's lips were still tingling from the contact. He lifted his hand to touch his mouth, checking to see if this was really his body, if this world was really not a dream. When it finally sunk in that it had really just happened, he smiled broadly and hurried to catch up to Harvey. He linked arms with him, and the fact that Harvey did not try to shake him loose encouraged him to stay close to him throughout the entire dinner.

They returned to Harvey's condo by themselves, having seen Don, Marla, and the children off at the restaurant.

"How's your head doing?" Harvey asked once they were inside.

"Still hurts a little. But it's manageable."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Mike gave an honest smile. "I'm sure." His eyes darted to the plant hanging in front of the hall for just a second. He hoped Harvey hadn't caught it.

He hoped in vain. "You know," Harvey said, bravely wrapping his arms around Mike's waist, "we don't have to be under the mistletoe for you to kiss me." He covered Mike's lips with his own for the second time that night, venturing into his mouth and finally getting his first real taste of him.

"Harvey..." Mike took the opportunity to wrap his arms up behind Harvey's neck. "As much as I like this... I... I'm not sure it's a good idea..."

"Why's that?"

"It's just... I'm worried. I'm afraid this is just a temporary thing and... I mean it's okay if it is, I'd rather have one day with you than never get to be with you at all... but you have to tell me..."

Harvey shook his head. "This isn't temporary, Mike. If I just wanted you for one night I wouldn't go to all this trouble to give you a nice Christmas. And I don't introduce temporary flings to my family, so..."

"So I really mean something to you, then...?" Mike asked, suddenly feeling insecure.

"Not just something. Everything. You may not know it, but-"

"I know you care about me, Harvey." Mike said, pulling Harvey closer. "I've known for a while, but having you admit it is, well..."

"What?" Harvey wondered.

"It's pretty sexy, if I'm being completely honest."

Harvey's eyes suddenly glistened with lust "Is that so?"

"Why don't you find out for yourself?" Mike spun out of Harvey's grasp, practically dancing away towards Harvey's bedroom.

Harvey followed, capturing his lips again and again on their way there that he lost count. Once he had mike lying back on the bed, he climbed on top of him and kept kissing him. He wanted him. Badly.

"Isn't this better than drinking yourself into oblivion?"

"Extremely." Mike admitted easily. "I'm glad you happened to find me."

Harvey caught the suggestive look in his associate's eyes. This was no time to let Mike think it was all a coincidence. "I didn't happen to find you. I'd been looking for you for a while. I just stopped to have a drink and spotted you there."

"Why were you looking for me?"

"I planned on bringing you here for Christmas already. Why else would I have presents for you under my tree? I could have given them to you at work sometime before or after the holiday."

"So you knew had it all planned out before you even saw me in that bar." It was sort of a question, but more of a clarification. He saw Harvey nodded, then continued, "You knew you were going to bring me here, let me meet your brother and his family, open presents with you... and you even planted the mistletoe." Mike realized.

"Did you figure all that out on your own?"

"I don't know why people see you as having no emotions." Mike declared. "I see them in you all the time. Especially when you do things like this."

"Not everybody is able to recognize how I show my emotions. It works to my advantage, so I don't make a big deal out of it. But I'm glad you see it."

"I guess I'm just special that way."

"I guess so," Harvey agreed, pushing their lips together again. "This means you're staying, right?"

"Well, it's obvious that neither one of us wants to leave the other alone. Not just on Christmas, but... you know... ever. So. I'd love to stay if you'll have me."

"Oh, I'll definitely be having you."

Mike blushed as they shared another kiss. "Thanks for today, Harvey."

Harvey pulled up and looked into Mike's eyes. "I know things are never going to be the same for you," he said softly, "and I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me, but I really do care about you. And I will do my best to make things as easy for you as possible."

"I know. I'm looking forward to it." Mike's eyes glistened. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Harvey said in return, "now let me give you a really special present."