Disclaimer: Dangermouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. I've been having THIS on my brain forever, and pardon the raw form of this fan fiction.

A Long Overdue Date

By Trynia Merin

This story takes place after Two of the Best, and Two of the Worst

"My dear Cousin," Lori started to write, but was tempted to scratch it out. Bagel looked over her best friend's shoulder to see what she was doing. From the wadded up papers landing in and around the wastepaper basket, it was obvious what was going on.

"DM does have a computer you could use," Bagel said.

"Bagel, do you MIND?" Lori said, waving her friend away. "This is personal."

"You're getting worse every day. These crazy British are having a bad influence on you," Bagel clicked her tongue. "Making you all reserved and stuff."

"Those crazy Brits are paying our salary, remember?" Lori said, pointing at Bagel with her pencil. "And Danger Mouse is CURRENTLY using his computer. Now if you don't' mind I've got a NOTE to write…"

"Why not tell your cousin Fifi in person when you see her?" said Bagel. "After all, writing notes is overrated. Better yet, why not email her?"

"Because I don't have her email, genius?"

"Ask her BOYFRIEND Danger Mouse then," Bagel countered, sticking her tongue out at Lori, who fumed. She danced out of the way, as Lori threw the wadded up note at her, laughing.

"Sheesh, touchy, isn't she?" Penfold asked as he walked in with a pot of tea for the chief, and an apron. Bagel had a similar apron, and she was dusting off the statues and various trophies that Dangermouse had acquired over the years. She insisted on doing her share of house cleaning, as she usually did that duty for Lori back in New York.

"So, what is your CHIEF doing?" the female hamster wondered.

"I'm picking up the cleaning, like," Penfold laughed. "And lookee here, he has the tuxedo washed… tells you something doesn't' it?"

"Well, Lori's writing a letter to her now. She's probably is going to eat crow for fifty bazillion years," Bagel rolled her eyes as she carried the waste paper basked under one arm, and held the feather duster aloft.

"You yanks have the daftest sayings," Penfold laughed.

"No more so then you Brits," said Bagel. "Is that the Chief's… um… what-cha-ma-call-it… tea?"

"That'd be it," Penfold said as he held the tray with Dangermouse's usual Earl Grey hot, with an embroidered tea cozy that Penfold had said his Aunt had made. Alongside instead of digestive were some of Bagel's homemade chocolate brownies.

"You found the brownies," Bagel said. "As if you didn't eat half of them."

"Cor, they WERE half good," Penfold shrugged. "Besides didn't you MAKE them so the chief COULD eat them?"

"Hmm, after I stole the bowl from you," she laughed, flicking dust at him from the feather duster.

"Penfold, where is my tea?" came DM's voice irritated. "And have you picked up the cleaning YET?"

"OH heck," Penfold mumbled. "Coming DM!"

"Oy vey, what's an assistant to do," asked Bagel as Penfold scurried off with Dangermouse's tea in one hand, and the cleaning bag in the other.

Penfold managed to get to Dangermouse by the third yell, as the white wonder was checking his emails on the computer in the study. He placed DM's tray to the left, and without even looking Danger Mouse picked up the hot tea, sipping it delicately with one pinkie extended while he held the saucer in his lap. "I got yer cleaning right enough," Penfold announced, holding up the bag. "Anything else DM?"

"Good show Penfold," said Dangermouse. "And thank you for the brownies."

"Wasn't me Chief," Penfold said, tracing the carpet with his toe. "Was Lori's assistant what made them."

"It is rather nice to have them around, isn't it?" said Dangermouse absently as he sipped his tea.

"DM," Penfold said as he held up the bag.

"Oh just pop that into the bedroom that's a good lad," Dangermouse said as Penfold coughed. Mumbling the hamster took the cleaning bag to Dangermouse's room, before returning a few minutes later.

"Chief?" asked Penfold, standing there with his hands behind his back.

"Yes Penfold?" asked Dangermouse, still nibbling on the rest of his brownie. Bagel did give Penfold a run for his money in the desserts department, he had to admit.

"I was wondering, if you weren't busy. if I might ask you… no, it's silly."

"Ask me what Penfold?" DM said slowly, turning to face his assistant. Although he had a good guess what was on his assistant's mind, he had to be sure to hear it from Penfold first, before possibly embarrassing his friend.

"Well, I was thinking, you going on about having the girls here," said Penfold. "And seeing it's tonight you're going out with… hem… your lady friend."

"What are you on about Penfold?" Dangermouse asked, pretending to be stern.

"I was wondering, if I might ask you some… advice," Penfold stopped, wringing his hands and losing his nerve.

"Regarding what exactly?" the White Wonder enquired.

"You said you'd let me have the night off," Penfold said. "And you had tickets for the concert."

"That I do, in a private box," Dangermouse said. "And we'll be meeting after the show… and no I can't stop by to tuck you in before I get back."

"That's not what I mean DM," Penfold puffed out the breath he was holding. "I mean… um... that is to say…"

"Spit it out man," Dangermouse laughed. "You know there's very little that gets past me."

"Well, it's about M6, and not about M6," he trailed off. "You said you had someone in mind for her?"

Knowing that wasn't' what Penfold was asking, but still humoring his shy assistant, Dangermouse said, "Well Agent 57 had been asking if I knew any possible eligible girls, and there was also Agent 98."

"Go on, she won't know what 57 looks like!" Penfold laughed.

"Well, she did say she wasn't opposed to what the Americans called blind dates… and face it with 57, that's about as blind as one can get," Dangermouse laughed, cocking an eyebrow.

"Since that's squared away," Penfold exhaled in a deep breath before continuing. "I was wondering about her assistant… if she… um…"

"My dear Penfold, are you asking if she has a date?" asked Dangermouse with a knowing smile.

"Er well, that is to say… em," Penfold wrung his hands, wishing he were somewhere else. "I had thought…"

"My dear Penfold, there is nothing WRONG in your asking such things. I mean you ARE entitled to go out once in a while," Dangermouse laughed, standing up and patting his friend on the shoulder. "Why didn't' you come to me about this before?"

"You did say that being a secret agent… makes a social life difficult," Penfold squeaked, very embarrassed.

"She is rather a nice girl, and I'm certain that M6 wouldn't mind."

"I um… er… is it THAT noticeable Chief?" Penfold flushed.

"My dear chap, I have noticed how eager you are to show her your Auntie's recipe for trifle, and how much she enjoys having you taste her… Bubbe is it… chicken soup. Not to mention the macramé plant holder you showed her how to make when she insisted on knitting you a new muffler to replace the one that got lost in our last mission," Dangermouse smiled knowingly. "So if you want my advice, ask the gel out."

"I'm not GOOD at this," Penfold whimpered. "That's why I'm asking you, DM. Can't you ask M6 to ask her for me?"

"Penfold, when matters of the heart and the fair sex are concerned, it's best to stand up and be a man… er… mouse… er make that hamster, and ask her yourself. This is the 21st century… after all," Dangermouse said, patting Penfold's back.

"Were you ever nervous, to ask a girl out?" Penfold looked at Dangermouse.

The White Wonder coughed and looked to the side, wondering how much of his earlier life he should divulge. While he had told Penfold many secrets of his past life, even letting details about Fifi slip, he was reserved when it came to delicate things like a first crush, or a first date. It was just the air of British reserve he was used to maintaining.

"Let me just say this, Penfold," he cleared his throat as he sat down again, and Penfold perched on the nearby stool with interest.

"I have had my share of experiences in dating, and it becomes easier with time. Moreover, asking a young woman to a concert is the perfect start of such an exercise. In addition, I'd recommend giving her something rather nice, like a flower or something she likes. And you're quite good when it comes to sweets, Good Grief you practically have memorized the candy department at the local chemists. and you already know that you two clean well together… so I would say that you have a fair chance this wont' be a disaster."

"Unlike missions?" Penfold groaned.

"Penfold, go in there and ask her, but mind you, take off the apron, and make sure you have a clean suit and tie for tonight. As for the rest, if you EVER need to ask me, please do NOT hesitate," said Danger Mouse.

"Cor, thank you DM," Penfold breathed a sigh of relief as he suddenly tripped over the trashcan on the way out. Dangermouse sighed and shook his head. The boy was definitely going to need some help.

"No Bubbe, he's a good boy," said Bagel as she spoke into the phone. "Yes, he cooks; he cleans. What's not to like… oy?"

Penfold managed to slip by as he saw her speaking on the phone. She spoke a few words, and then hung up just as he coughed, holding something behind his back. "Ahem."

She jumped a foot out of her skin and landed on the floor, and he looked at her apologetically as she recovered, "You scared six years off of me. what's up?"

"Um well… er that is to say, I was wondering," Penfold said, still wearing his apron, identical to the one that she wore. Suddenly he pulled something from behind his back, and Bagel chuckled to see it was a potted plant, more precisely a potted geranium, with a bow tied around the pot.

"This is for you," he stammered, holding it out, and looking VERY unsure of himself

"Why thank you," she said, taking the pot, and looking at it. "I always DID hate trying to figure out WHAT to put flowers in. This is very thoughtful."

"Um there's something else," he stammered out. "I mean, you can say no if you want to. But I um… there is the concert tonight, and Danger Mouse said that I had the night off as it seems, and well…"

"Are you asking me out?" Bagel smiled sweetly.

"No em… er…" he gasped, mortified. "That is to say… well… er yes I am?"

"I would love to go, out with you," she said with a smile.

"Crikey, thank goodness for that," Penfold breathed a sigh of relief.

"What time and where?" she asked.

"Oh 'eck I haven't thought that out yet," he moaned.

"Well the first part was well done," Bagel smiled. "I've um… gotta check on Lori's gown. She said she needed it ready, and a few sequins fell off it. And you know how those hero types hate not looking their best."

"Er um… the thread and needles… this way,' Penfold said, and quickly dashed to find the sewing kit. He handed it to her, and she laughed, equally flustered as she went off to fix Lori's gown, leaving Penfold almost falling over in a dead faint. She had said yes.