A/N: I had so much fun with this you guys don't even know. *gigglesnort*
Warning: high levels of crack.
Constructive criticism always appreciated.
"He's gone now."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, Rukia-nee dragged him off for their date. Budge over."
"K-Karin! What are you doing?"
"Climbing in with you, duh. Huh, this closet's kinda roomy. No wonder Rukia-nee likes it so much."
"Karin, if your brother finds us here-"
"He won't, Toushirou. Now, here we are, in a small enclosed space together. What are you going to do?"
"If I recall, this is the kind of behaviour that led your brother into a murderous rampage in the first place. What are you - don't straddle - oh."
"Let me ask you again, Toushirou. What. Are. You. Going. To. Do?"
"On second thought..."
"Rukia! I brought you dinner!"
"Just a minute!"
"Tch, midget, hiding out in my closet. Why can't you use the bed in Karin and Yuzu's room?"
"Because I like your closet better."
"Whatever. Are you coming out? Here, just take the plate-"
"Ichigo don't open the door-!"
"Aargh!"
"Baka!"
"..."
"..."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to, ya know, peek. I didn't know you were changing."
"It's fine."
"You're not mad at me, are ya? Coz I didn't mean to look at your lace-"
"You saw?!"
"I didn't mean to! I swear! Ow! Watch your arm, midget!"
"Well, you're a perverted strawberry!"
"I didn't mean to! Aw, gods, are you crying? Hey now, don't go crying on me, Rukia! You looked really nice in that..."
"...Really?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, I think so."
"Ichigo?"
"Hmm?"
"Want to see some more?"
"Oh gods, yes."
"Argh."
"Shh, Ikakku. We can't let Rangiku-san know we're in here."
"I know, I know. Why does that damn woman got ta change in Ichigo's room?"
"Because she keeps all the clothes she buys here."
"Hn."
"Are you peeking?"
"No! Just making sure she's gone, is all, Yumi."
"Oh."
"Really! She's not my type anyway. Way too much up top."
"So what is your type?"
"Um. Slim. Dark-haired. Beautiful."
"Kuchiki?"
"Gods, no! Um. Well. I like feathers."
"...Ikkaku?"
"Y-yeah?"
"Wanna make out?"
"Are you okay, Inoue-san?"
"Ano, if we could just shift a little... What's that poking into my back?"
"...Kurosaki's birthday present."
"Ah! Well, maybe if you pass it to me..."
"I'm sorry! I didn't meant to touch your, um."
"It's okay, Ishida-kun! There's not much space to move here, what with all the gifts."
"Yeah..."
"It's a good thing we got in here before Kurosaki-kun saw us, ne? I hope Sado-kun managed to hide himself too."
"I think I saw him jumping out of the window."
"Oh! Do you think he took the party streamers with him?"
"Possibly. We didn't leave anything else out there, did we?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Um, Inoue-san, I've been meaning to ask you something for a while now and, well, since we're both here, I was wondering..."
"Yes, Ishida-kun?"
"Wouldyouliketogoonadatewithme?!"
OMAKE!
"Oh, Masaki, darling. I know you're the only one for me. I swear to you, we will never be apart!"
"Dad? What are you doing in my closet with Mom's poster?"