JMJ
NOTE: I was just introduced to this show by my brother not that long ago and I'm enjoying myself with it. This is a story made up by my brother, my sister, and myself that I couldn't resist writing down. The plot is based loosely on the summery of what the other two seasons would have been like only packed together more as a movie. I'm sure lots of other people have already done this, but I decided to put it up anyway. And even though it seems that the Big Cheese wasn't going to be in it anymore after the first season we thought it just wouldn't be Pizza Cats without him. XD
The Rise of Dr. Purple
CHAPTER ONE
The rhythm of the waves proved steady and accommodating now that the sun had come out and the wind had stopped whipping so badly. They splashed up against the raft as they rolled by causing it to rise and fall in a docile sort of manner at least in comparison to how it had been thrashed about hardly an hour before. Indeed, it was the perfect sailing weather, but after three months floating on an eight-by-eight foot diameter of space any weather would seem just fine … if it had only been on dry land rather than in the middle of the ocean sailing aimlessly.
They were lost.
Neither one said anything about this simple fact however much conversation grew close to touching the subject.
After the horrible storm, the third or fourth one they had just barely endured during their already unbearable time at sea, it could be called a miracle they still had the raft at all. The sail was in shreds — so much for sailing. They were just riding the waves. They had nothing with which to mend the sail aside from the lines in the fishing rods, and they had no intention of using those. They were lucky enough that they had managed to save the poles from the menacing grip of the storms. However, despite these good fortunes (one being that they were alive at all) in an otherwise awful predicament, the Big Cheese, the X-prime minister of Little Tokyo and X-crime lord, had spent about a half hour complaining of having nothing to eat on this stupid voyage but sushi without rice, tamari, vegetables or even a strip of nori to go with it. They had run out of any other food they may have brought with them which had not been much with the Big Cheese's short-sightedness of the situation. He had hoped to have landed in China long ago, but after that first storm neither he nor Jerry knew if they would ever catch sight of land again.
At least Jerry had had the foresight of bringing along a very good quality water filter with which to filter the salt from the sea water. Potentially they could be sailing forever as long as there was someone to clean the filter once in a while, but the Big Cheese was more upset that the last bottle of sake had been swept away by the last storm.
With a heavy sigh, the Big Cheese slumped to his knees and dipped his pole in the water as Jerry was doing, completely ignoring his X-superior as he concentrating on the sea and his pole and nothing more.
"Maybe I should have left that comet alone and just got married like everyone else," the Big Cheese said.
Jerry glanced over his shoulder with some annoyance, and as he returned to his pole he muttered under the sound of the waves, "No one in their right mind would want to marry you."
But the Big Cheese did not hear this. He simply sighed again and added, "At least I would have ended up happy."
Jerry snorted, and the Big Cheese did hear this. Now it was his turn to glare at Jerry with more than annoyance. His eyes twitched with the glint of a madman, which he was after all, and Jerry after having noticed this glare out of the corner of this eye, gave the tiniest bit of a start before he said quickly, "Yes, yes, that would have been nice, but you still would have had to deal with the fact that you lost your position!"
That statement did not help much, and leaping to his feet the Big Cheese dropped his pole and growled. Jerry instantly became more concerned about the pole than inciting the rage of the explosive maniac and dove for all he was worth to the other side of the raft with his own pole still in hand. He grasped the Big Cheese's pole just in time and sighed with relief as he pulled it back onto the raft. They could not afford to lose anything else!
"It's not fair, Jerry, it's just not fair!" the Big Cheese said stamping his foot onto the raft like a bratty child who lost his dessert.
"That they kicked you out, because you flitted away their money on clothes and robots?" asked Jerry with a raised brow.
For a split second it looked like the Big Cheese would explode at that, but instead with a grumpy pout he leaned in close to Jerry and muttered, "You know, I'm this close to shoving you into the water and leaving you there."
"Then you would have no one that knew how to fillet a fish," retorted Jerry. "And besides I can fly a little ways if I absolutely have to. In case you didn't know …"
"Hrmph!" The Big Cheese crossed his arms, but his mind had digressed to his earlier topic, "I wonder who I could have married anyway. I didn't know any women that I didn't completely despise." He laughed humorlessly as Jerry offered him his pole and they continued fishing again. "Of course, I despise everyone. So there … Especially now that I'm … that I'm a stupid outlaw like you."
Jerry closed his eyes patronizingly, and though he thought of a great number of comebacks to this statement, he did not want to risk the destruction of the raft from one of the Big Cheese's explosions. So after dipping the lure and hook into the water again, he on one side of the craft and the sulking fox on the other, he changed the topic himself.
"I had love once."
The Big Cheese winced as he tried to figure out if he heard that correctly. He may have been crazy, but he was not too crazy to think that Jerry caring about anyone especially in a romantic manner was the weirdest thing ever to come out of the moldy beak of that old ninja crow.
"Really?" he could not help but ask.
Jerry smiled and blushed stupidly at the recollection of the near-forgotten her as he gazed off over the horizon.
The Big Cheese had by now turned around and stared at Jerry with complete disbelief as Jerry went on.
"She was very beautiful," he said in a rather goofy manner, "and very witty. Not as witty as myself, you understand. And she had a lovely singing voice. I used to call her 'chan'."
After one or two blank blinks, the Big Cheese's jaw became slightly ajar as it occurred to him that maybe Jerry was just going crazy after all, and he had not been around for that gigantic train incident to see that fiasco.
"But …" Jerry sighed. "It was not to last. We did not see eye to eye about the clan. She was part of the clan. Just far enough off in the genealogy that we could have been together, but she did not like where the clan was headed and had different ideas about the clan that were dishonorable to our leader at the time. Of course, this brought tension to our relationship, because I agreed only one hundred percent with our leader."
"Uh … Sorry?" muttered the Big Cheese.
"She died," Jerry then explained closing his eyes lightly.
"Oh, I'm sorry …" said the Big Cheese wincing again.
"Don't be," sniffed Jerry, eyes still closed. "I'm the one who killed her. It was for the honor of the Flying Skulls. She had to be stopped."
"Oh, I'm sorry!" exclaimed the Big Cheese and returning hesitantly back into position (hesitant because he was not certain he wanted to turn his back to Jerry). When he finally had his pole and posture back to where they had been he muttered, "Sorry I asked … stupid, creepy ninja …"
A depraved smile appeared on Jerry's face then, but before he could speak, the Big Cheese leapt to his feet again quite abruptly.
"What's that!?" the Big Cheese cried thrusting his finger out in front of him.
"The pole, Seymour! The pole!" Jerry gasped, but it was too late, and he nearly lost his own pole in the excitement.
The Big Cheese's pole drifted away from the raft out of either of their reach.
"No, Jerry, you idiot!" cried the Big Cheese grabbing him around the middle with one arm and giving him a kiss for joy. "Look! Do you see what I see?"
After gagging, Jerry looked and his eyes lit up with the same enthusiasm; though, he did not have the impulse to kiss anything, except maybe the ground once they reached it.
"Land!" gasped Jerry.
The Big Cheese dropped him. "Yes! We're saved! Land ho! We're saved, Jerry!"
And he began to dance. Jerry could not help but join him until the Big Cheese exclaimed, "Oh! I'm so happy! I can't contain myself!" And he hugged his sides in glee.
"Well, please try!" said Jerry nervously. "At least till we reach land! Please!"
"Too late!" grinned the Big Cheese, and with that he exploded.
But it was not all bad. The explosion, although painful and having destroyed their raft, caused enough lift to blow the pair right into the direction of the land, and they landed in the shallows before the vast white beach. Leaping upright within seconds, the pair hardly felt their wounds as they splashed to the dry sand and leaped again for joy and kissed the solid ground beneath them. They even broke out in song they were so happy, and they went on in this way until they were quite worn out and grew to just sitting on the beach a moment or so as they tried to collect themselves enough to make a next move.
"Do you think we've landed in China?" asked the Big Cheese.
"I don't think so," Jerry replied. "To be honest, although I hate to dampen anyone's spirits, this is probably some forsaken island with no inhabitants except maybe some savage King Kong-like tribes with little to no modern development and a culture for cannibalism. We're probably way out on the Pacific somewhere, or we would have reached China long ag—"
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzchtz …
At first Jerry thought the sound came from the Big Cheese's head and he quickly covered his own head for a second impact, but as he threw a wary eye on his unfortunate companion, he saw that the Big Cheese was also surprised by the mechanical sound. It sounded a little like a buzz saw or perhaps a small chainsaw.
After exchanging glances with one another, the Big Cheese and Jerry headed toward the bushes from whence the sound had come, and upon poking their heads out the other side, their eyes grew all the wider.
"No modern development, huh?" the Big Cheese muttered. "Looks like we may have made it to China after all."
Glancing around at the busy little silvery workers, Jerry said nothing for the moment. They were about the size of the lower members of the ninja clan. Although they looked like no animal in particular that Jerry knew of, they took on a complete person-like appearance. They worked with a vast assortment of tools and flew with jet propulsion to the tops of trees.
They did not notice the Big Cheese or Jerry. Not even when the Big Cheese left his hiding spot did they respond. There seemed to be two tasks at hand and those two alone: trimming trees and harvesting fruit.
Tapping one on the back the Big Cheese demanded to know where they were, but the worker did not answer.
"Forget it, Big Cheese. They aren't people in the remotest cyber-genetic degree," said Jerry.
"I can see that," retorted the Big Cheese, "but that doesn't mean that they can't speak or have cue commands. They're obviously somebody's robot slaves. I wonder why I didn't think of that. Then I wouldn't have had to deal with the Ninja Crows."
Coming out of the shrubbery himself now, Jerry muttered, "My ninja are smarter than unresponsive robots."
"Then I could have remote controlled them," said the Big Cheese.
"Then who would have built them for you or fixed them when they broke?" Jerry growled.
The Big Cheese crossed his arms. "This argument is pointless."
"My sentiments exactly."
"Then what's the big idea arguing with everything I say?" the Big Cheese demanded.
Jerry rolled his eyes.
Looking up greedily at the tropical fruit in the orchard tree, the Big Cheese meant what he said about wanting no further argument. "I wonder if they'd notice if we took some of those tangerines or whatever-they-are off the trees."
"It's difficult to say …" Jerry said rubbing his head as he watched the fox head for the nearest tree.
"Alright then," said the Big Cheese. "Jerry, go up that tree and get me some!"
"What!" Jerry exclaimed. "But—"
"I thought you said you could fly short distances if absolutely necessary," the Big Cheese reminded him. "Unless you were bluffing! I require fruit!" And he stamped his foot on the ground.
With a low growl, Jerry was about to say something he would have regretted, but instead of having to worry about the consequences that would have come of it, he was surprised yet again as one of the robots floated up to the Big Cheese and handed him a bucket of fruit.
"The fruit you required, sir," said the mechanical voice.
The Big Cheese laughed. "There, you see, Jerry!? Robot slaves."
And immediately the Big Cheese sat himself on the ground and began to scratch away at the peal ravenously.
"After weeks and weeks or nothing but fish! And now finally I have something else!" He paused and glanced at Jerry still standing there with a full glower. "Well, come on! Help me peal these."
Snatching some of the fruit out of the basket, Jerry did as commanded; though it was more out of habit and concern about the Big Cheese's wrath than any form of loyalty. Not that his loyalty in the past had been exactly genuine in most cases regardless of whether or not the clan believed the Big Cheese to have saved him from death. And this flaky loyalty had grown shakier still in the latter end of their criminal exploits before their flight over seas. And now that the Big Cheese had lost all power, both politically and in the underworld, there seemed little reason to give him loyalty at all, except that at the moment Jerry had nothing else — not even a raft anymore. And as much as he hated to admit it there was a part of him that like his company; though he could not for the life of him figure out why.
So as he mulled over these things and peeled exotic fruit (and ate some when the Big Cheese wasn't looking before handing some over as though he had become some kind of servant) he came to a sort of compromise with himself that once he became reunited with the clan he would ditch the Big Cheese for good. He could take the clan up north to the mountains and regroup a little before returning to Little Tokyo for one great blast of vengeance before his age caught up with him.
But then he was angry with the Big Cheese. Who knew? It could cool off. Maybe once they returned to Japan he could find a different way to make the Big Cheese useful.
He came up with a different compromise: stick with the Big Cheese until their return to Japan, and then decide what to do about their affiliation.
In the meantime …
"Ah!" exclaimed the Big Cheese throwing his hands behind his head. "I feel much better. Let's go have a look around."
Jerry did not disagree, and as some of the robotic workers were leaving with the buckets of fruit by now as well, the pair decided to follow where they floated off to.
Trees and shrubbery blocked most of their vision from going too far, but they were able to catch sight of the robots floating over the jungle canopy — at least for a time. After a while they lost sight of them.
"Hmm, maybe we should go back," said the Big Cheese thoughtfully; Jerry could hear the tremulous fear in the back of his tone.
"Oh, no, Big Cheese," retorted the old bird. "There's no way we're turning back to a broken raft. I can hear the machinery, and it's getting louder. Can't you hear it with your big ears?"
The Big Cheese was taken aback, and stopping dead in his tracks he glared.
Turned around Jerry glanced back at him. "What's wrong, Big Cheese?"
"Do you really think my ears are big, Jerry?" demanded the vain creature touching his ears to feel their height.
Jerry sighed and went around the back of him to push him forward. "Come on."
"I mean, I always considered my ears to be the best proportioned," the Big Cheese went on as he allowed himself to pushed along. "I'm practically royalty. My pedigree is perfect. Perfect-sized head, perfectly set jaw and perfect shoulders. And besides! What would you know about ear sizes anyway? You don't even have ears! You're a crow. You're lucky I allow you to be anywhere near me. You don't even have a pedigree."
"I didn't mean anything badly by it, Big Cheese. I just wanted you to listen to the machinery that's going on right over—"
The Big Cheese shoved Jerry aside and stopped again. "Forget about what you think you heard, Jerry. You don't have any ears, but I have wonderfully big ears, and I say that I hear a city right over there over the side of that ledge. Let's go check it out."
"Uh … great idea Big Cheese."
"Well, you don't have to kiss up at me about it," the Big Cheese muttered as he marched past Jerry with a huff.
As they came to the ledge they saw that they were looking down into a wide valley. There was no city however many structures there were. The structures were all factory-like in nature, and there were no signs of people of any kind. Nor were there roads or carts. The sleek, silvery robots floated everywhere they went. Inside the buildings emanated the sounds of grinding gears and clanking presses.
Oh, wait! There was one road. Only one. And it led to their right up to a mountain, and right into its middle was built what looked like a vast science-fiction manor: wide windows of odd shapes and clean balconies and many shafts and even a set of stairs that led to a pair of broad doors. It all looked rather impressive, and flashes of the Island of Dr. Moreau flashed through Jerry's mind. Or maybe it was just the lightning flash that appeared out of nowhere behind the manor on this otherwise very sunny cloudless afternoon.
"You're right," said Jerry eyeing the manor with suspicion under a shelter of thick brows. "We should go back."
"No way, Jerry," said the Big Cheese holding the old crow back by the wrist. "We're going straight up to that palace and find out where we are. There's gotta be some people around here!"
And with that he set off.
What a time to decide to not be cowardly, thought Jerry with annoyance, but he followed him. For some reason he could not fathom, he followed him.
#
As they climbed the steps, besides become greatly fatigued from walking for so long, the Big Cheese began to feel less and less optimistic about knocking upon those vast doors, which had not looked quite so vast from the cliff. His mind flooded with an assortment of creepy inhabitants from ghosts, to goblins, to military posts that may recognize him as an outlaw and throw him in a dungeon without food and water. He also thought about a cool glass of lemonade, for his patrician tongue was parched and most unused to being so even during their ride on the sea with Jerry's water filter.
When he at last dragged himself to the last step just behind a withering Jerry who was not really in any better shape than him (except for the fact that he had an excuse being over eighty years old), he could not bring himself to knock on the doors or push the giant doorbell to the left of them.
"Jerry," he said, straightening a crick in his back in between panting. "Go knock on the door."
"Me?" demanded Jerry. "You're the one who wanted to come up here."
"I don't pay you to contradict me!" snapped the Big Cheese.
"Last time I checked," snapped Jerry in return, "you haven't paid me in quite some time, and you've never paid me anything close to minimum wage."
"Whaddya mean!? You got to come into the palace any time you wanted and eat my food behind my back and drink all the emperor's finest, most expensive teas, not to mention! Isn't that pay?" demanded the Big Cheese. "And anyway you're a ninja! You can just steal food and money any time you want!"
"We were too busy building your stupid robots!"
"My stupid robots?" exclaimed the Big Cheese stamping his foot. "You're the one who came up with all those failed ideas. Have you forgotten? All my ideas are faultless. You're confusing the issue! Just ring the doorbell!"
But neither needed to knock or ring the doorbell. A queer sort of camera suddenly appeared from above the door and slid on a snaky wire towards them just before the desperate pair was about to bring out fists.
"Ah!" exclaimed a sophisticated-sounding voice from the camera's speaker. "So you're the ones who interrupted my orchard workers in their work."
Both Jerry and the Big Cheese spun around at the camera wide-eyed and blinking stupidly.
"He did it!" cried the Big Cheese thrusting a finger to Jerry. "He's the thief! He's a ninja! I'm just an innocent victim of circumstance! I'm his hostage! He's crazy!"
Jerry rolled his eyes.
The voice in the camera laughed, and not very pleasantly. "Don't worry about that. I'm the only one here, and I was hoping whoever interrupted my robot would come over for a visit."
"We should go," growled Jerry to the Big Cheese under his breath.
"There hasn't been a visitor here on the island," the voice continued, "for over twenty years when I came to settle here myself."
"This is an island!?" gasped the Big Cheese.
"Of course!" exclaimed the voice. "Where did you think you were? China? But please come inside! Come inside and join me for lunch!"
"We already ate lunch," Jerry protested.
"Oh, but I insist for early supper then!" said the voice and the camera zipped back into the doorframe before anything more could be said.
With a great creak, the massive doors lurched open just wide enough for the pair to enter.
"Ack!" cried the Big Cheese grabbing Jerry and plucking him of the ground to squeeze him tightly, and then Jerry let out a cry too, a cry for air.
After a moment or two of silence a figure appeared in the doorway. He was not much to look at save for the eagle glint in his eyes, and he smiled broadly with arms outstretched as though to embrace, but all he did was motion inside.
"Come," he said.
The Big Cheese glanced at Jerry. Jerry glanced at the Big Cheese. It seemed they had no choice but to enter, which they did after the Big Cheese plopped Jerry back on the ground. And of course, as they entered the great doors slammed shut behind them.
"Ack!" cried the Big Cheese again and this time grabbed their mysterious host by mistake.
"Put me down," said the stranger.
The Big Cheese did so with a weird toothy smile.
The stranger, straightening himself, then led them through the wide corridor away from the door.