Liars, Heroes, and Cowards
I don't belong on the battlefield.
I don't belong in war.
I don't belong here.
I belong at the University of Hoenn. I belong in my classroom, lecturing my students about ancient history, how Pokémon used to be able to wield incredible power. I belong at home, with my wife, Sonia, sitting by the fireplace, reading the paper, reading 'about' the war, not living it.
Yet, here I am, fighting on the front lines. 'Infantry', they call me, but I know what I am. Cannon fodder. Hardly trained, absolutely no battle experience, crappy equipment-what else could we be but pigs marching towards our own slaughter?
It's cold. Too cold. I never knew it could get this cold in Johto. I can see a town far off to the west. Er, is it the west? This stupid compass is never really reliable...
Dammit, looks like we're just passing by it. I want to rest. I want to settle down for just a few minutes. I want to huddle close by a fire with a steaming hot meal in front of me, a 'good' meal, not the shit-soup they serve here.
Damn this cold. Damn this draft. Damn Princess Colvoy herself!
...though I know it isn't really her fault. She tries her best, but she doesn't run every war movement. I sure as hell know she didn't plan this one. She's too smart for that. No, some higher-up bastard that's probably too busy drinking all the crazz and knocking up all the local women he can than actually giving a damn about his soldier's lives planned this attack.
It's a suicide mission, we all know it. We're the diversion, the sacrificial lambs that will serve to take the damage for the 'real' soldiers. Yup, we'll be massacred while they'll swoop in like heroes and take care of the enemy. And who will be remembered for this battle? Certainly not the ragtag gang of farmers, scholars, and other commoners that will serve our kingdom as meat shields. Just the liars who claim they were the ones to do all the fighting.
"Hey, you look pretty grim, friend. Are you feeling alright?"
I turn to my left to see a Mawile standing beside me. I have to look down at him since he's several inches shorter than me.
"Alright? Am I alright? I'm marching towards my grave in this frozen tundra. I'll never see my wife again. I'll never teach another class. I'll never even be able to go home after I die because nobody bothers to bring home the bodies of the peasants! So, no, I'm not fucking alright, alright!?"
Whoa, did I just blow up like that? Jirachi, all this pent up stress must have really been getting to me...
The Mawile holds his hands up defensively. "Easy there, I was just asking a question. No need to lash out like that." His voice is oddly deep, contrasting greatly with his small stature.
I wipe my palm against my forehead. "Sorry, sorry. It's just...I didn't sign up for this, you know? I didn't want to be a part of this war. So why did I have to get drafted? Why did I have to get sucked into someone else's fight?"
The Mawile shrugs. "Can't say I have an answer for ya, friend. I actually came here of my own accord, so I'm not exactly sure how you feel. But I can imagine."
I stare at him, dumbfounded. "You...you wanted to fight in this hell...?"
He smiles proudly and crosses his arms. "Damn straight!"
"W...why...?"
"Because, I've got something I wanna protect. It ain't got nothing to do with my country, or my princess, or any of that crap. No, I got something far more precious to protect."
I stare at him, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn't. I sigh and shake my head. "Well, they could at least be paying us better for this..."
"Heh, yeah, I guess so. But that's my plan. Rise through the ranks, and so will my paycheck! Then, once I save up enough, I can go home and put that money to use."
"Put it to use? What would you buy?"
"Well, a house for starters. Been living on the streets for most of my life. Thought it'd be a nice change of pace, ya know?"
He laughs, and I find myself chuckling as well. Wow, I didn't think I'd ever laugh again.
"Name's Conrad!" He extends his hand out to me, and I shake it. "You?"
"Henry."
"Well, Henry, it's nice to meet ya. You any good at firing a rifle?"
"I handle textbooks, not weapons."
"Heh, guess you and me have something in common! Whatever, I prefer fighting with my fists rather than with these damn 'boom sticks'. Frickin' 'industrial revolution' or whatever over in Kanto...they expect us to catch up or something? What the hell are they thinking, making weapons like these?"
I look over my rifle, the weapon suddenly feeling even more foreign in my hands than ever before. "I've always been a staunch believer in progress, but is this really the future...?"
Conrad nods. "Yeah, firing a bullet at some guy just seems cowardly to me. But, hey, if it means protecting what's precious to me, than I'm all for it."
He's staring at something in his hand, and just now do I notice the locket he has hanging around his neck.
I look away, not wanting to seem as if I'm intruding upon his personal space.
I shiver. Damn, I hate the cold. A Sceptile like me just isn't used to it.
7Z7Z7Z7
There it is. Death, standing before me, disguised as a castle, its stone walls and red and gold flags looming in the distance.
Fear. Oh, Arceus, the overwhelming fear. I'm not ready to die. I don't want to die. But it's going to happen, I know it. We're the pawns, the sacrificial offerings. We won't live.
We're going to die.
I'm going to die.
Alone.
No. Not alone.
I turn to Conrad. He's beside me. I almost sigh in relief, almost 'cry' in relief. I open my mouth to talk to him, but stop. His eyes are closed, and he's rubbing the locket in his hand.
I turn to look back at the castle, at Death. Conrad must be thinking of someone. That someone must be with him.
That's right. I'm not alone. My wife is with me. I can see her in my mind's eye. Ah, Arceus, she's so beautiful. I wonder if I should ever see that beauty again firsthand...
No matter. If it shall be the last thing I see before I die, then that's okay. I'm content with that.
Words exchanged between the castle and the peasants. The sound of guns being loaded. Warning shots. Commands. Falling bodies.
The battle begins.
I run. Not towards the castle. Not away from it. Either way is certain death, the only difference being that a different side kills me. I run towards a boulder I spotted earlier.
Safety. I must be safe here. I can't be seen by the Johto soldiers, and I can act like I'm just taking cover. Oh, thank Arceus for this conveniently placed geological structure!
I'll live!
Just me. Not Conrad.
I search for him, both among the standing and fallen bodies. Maybe I can save him, too. Maybe I can save him...
Finally, I see him, running towards the castle, firing, reloading, running, firing, reloading, running, all while out in the open. So many bullets, flying at him and from him. How is it possible for one man to reload and fire and run so damn fast?
Suddenly there's a deep boom, and panic seizes my heart.
Canons. Shit, I forgot about the canons!
"Conrad!" I yell. "Over here! Conrad!"
He turns towards me, and I see a plume of red spring from his shoulder. His face twists into an expression of pain, but still, he runs diagonally, half towards the castle and half towards me.
Now I'm standing beside the rock, waving to him. I'm shouting and waving and jumping, and only when Conrad reaches out to push me do I realize how big of a target I was making of myself.
An explosion, but no sound. Wait, no, there's...a faint ringing. Something sticky is on my face. Blood? Ugh, what's wrong with my ears? Everything sounds so distant...
Conrad.
Holy shit, what have I done!?
I realize I'm on my back, so I sit up straight. Not six feet away is the bloodied form of Conrad, still and silent.
I did this. That's all I can think as I drag him away from the yelling, the booms, the killing, the death.
I did this.
I'm beating myself up, cursing myself, calling myself every name under the sun, every insult I can muster, but it doesn't help. It doesn't do anything.
Because I did this, and what's done is done.
I find a secluded area, somewhere, I don't know, and I don't care. All I know is that there's blood on me, both mine and his, and I'm tired, but I have no right to be, because I'm not the one in pain. He is. He is suffering my pain for me. All because I was too much of a coward.
"Hen...ry..."
I press myself close to him. Tears are streaming down my face, and I feel the stumps from where his legs used to be pressed against my thigh, but it doesn't matter. I can only focus on him, only focus on his words.
He yanks the locket from his neck and holds it out to me, a faint smile on his lips. "Look...inside...it's what I...wanted to protect...my daughter...Claudia..."
My hands are shaking, but I manage to open the locket.
I'm confused. There's no picture inside. Just an empty locket.
"She should be...turning seven...in t-two weeks..."
Arceusdammit, he's the one dying! He's the one in pain! So why is he smiling? Why is he smiling when he won't be able to see his daughter again?
All because of me. All because he took the pain for me. Because I was too much of a coward to take it myself.
I nod my head and try to smile back. "Y-yeah...she's beautiful..."
Liar. Liar and a coward.
Conrad nods weakly. He's so pale. "Yeah...I love her...more th-than anything...For her...I..."
His eyes glaze over, and he stops moving. Stops breathing.
I stare at him for a long time. I can hear the sounds of gunshots in the distance, the word "Retreat!" being called by the enemy commander over and over again.
The liars must have arrived to clean up the mess.
But the real hero died right here.
And the coward was right there with him.
So, what did you think? If any of you have read my story Snowflakes, you could probably tell that it's set in the same world. I was thinking of maybe making another even bigger story set in this world, involving characters from Snowflakes and others, like Henry. If you enjoyed this at all and/or would like me to create such a story, please tell me in a review! Thanks!