You don't know what I've been through

by kelevra79

When Reese goes missing and suddenly shows back up with bruises and broken bones everyone tries to figure out why he won't talk about it. This triggers a memory in Malcolm he just can't let go. (Warnings for violence, rape, emotional triggers)

Malcolm didn't usually notice Reese unless they were reviving their rivalry or getting into trouble but today was different. Reese was nowhere to be found as he was walking home from school. When he got home he asked if Dewey had seen him and he hadn't. Hal was home from work first and didn't notice he was missing either until Lois got home with dinner and they all sat down to eat and she asked where Reese was. They were all quiet for a moment as they thought about the last time that they saw him.

"Malcolm, he was at school right?"

"I saw him at lunch but not after that."

"And you didn't think to mention you haven't seen your brother in hours?!" She asked getting that rage filled tone in her voice.

"I'm not his babysitter okay!"

"I never said that! But it wouldn't kill you to-"

"I'm sure he's just getting into more trouble. Soon we'll be getting our nearly monthly call from the police station to bail him out!" Hal said with a tired looking expression on his face.

"Oh well that's just great! Would it kill you boys to actually keep each other out of trouble for once so that 'our nearly monthly call from the police station' isn't so common place at the dinner table?!" Lois slammed her hand on the table before standing up and leaving the kitchen.

Malcolm hadn't been worried about Reese until everyone was lying awake at 2am waiting for him to try and sneak in with some lame excuse about where he had been. He heard Lois walk out into the kitchen and he quietly joined her. She was sitting at the table with a fresh cup of tea.

"He'll probably be home soon." Malcolm said noting the worried expression showing through her anger.

"This just isn't like Reese. He usually sneaks out at night. He doesn't just disappear during the day unless he's just pretending to be at school...if you are covering for him I swear I will-"

"I'm not! I didn't even talk to him today!" Malcolm yelled back getting defensive.

"All I said to him was 'Get your damn shoes out of the hallway!'...Well you need to get to bed you have school tomorrow." Malcolm tried to protest so he could think of something else to help ease her worry but she gave him a hard stare and he quickly went back to his room.

"What do you think he is doing?" Dewey asked as soon as Malcolm walked back into the bedroom.

"Who knows with Reese...you know how crazy his plans get."

"What if he hurt himself and he's just all alone stuck somewhere?"

"He's Reese. He'll be fine. Go to bed." Malcolm pushed his own growing worry to the back of his mind and fell asleep.

Malcolm woke to the sound of his mother pounding on the bathroom door from her room and the sound of the shower running.

"Reese come out here right this minute! You better tell me exactly where you have been and what sort of trouble you have been getting into! You are in so much trouble! Reese! Reese!" She came running in from the hallway to try the door in the boys bedroom but it was locked as well. She finally gave up and just sat on Reese's bed deciding to wait him out. "What are you looking at? Get up and get ready for school!" She snapped at Malcolm and Dewey and they got out of bed and quickly got ready avoiding her gaze that was trained on the bathroom door.

Malcolm, Dewey, and Hal all ate cereal in silence as they anxiously awaited Reese coming out of the bathroom and for Lois to explode on him. It was almost a relief to hear him open the door.

"Reese where have you been?! On my god!" The air of relief died quickly when suddenly she was silent after that. Reese came out of the bedroom with his backpack over his shoulder and Lois hot on his heels. They all stopped to stare at him because his face, neck and hands were covered in bruises. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt and was limping slightly too. He had a cut under his left eye and his lip was split from his top lip to his bottom lip nearly down his chin.

"Where are you going?" Lois asked as she simply chased after him too afraid to grab him for fear of hurting him.

"School." Was all he said as he walked out the front door.

"Malcolm! Go after him! Make sure he's okay!" Lois screamed and Malcolm quickly grabbed his bag and ran after him.

"Reese! Wait! Reese!" Malcolm finally caught up to him and grabbed his arm. Reese flinched away like Malcolm had burned him but then kept limping forward in a determined way. "Where the hell were you? What happened?" Reese ignored him until Malcolm tried to stand in his way. He pushed Malcolm down onto the sidewalk with a hard shove before walking away. "Fine! I don't care! You probably deserved it! Dick!" Malcolm yelled after him as he used his shirt to soak up the blood dripping from his freshly scraped elbows.

Reese sat at his desk in first period staring at his textbook even though it didn't make sense just to avoid seeing everyone staring at him. He could feel their eyes on him like a chill on the back of his neck. After the class ended his teacher asked him to stay a second.

"Reese I know you have a bit of a reputation but this is...are you okay? Do you feel safe at home? You can tell me." She smiled in a reassuring manner that made Reese laugh.

"Relax. You should see the other guy." He laughed a bit more as she tried to imagine him and he left the room. As soon as he was out the door his face fell and he gripped his painful ribs before mindlessly limping to his next class.

Malcolm didn't see Reese at school until he started walking home and Reese appeared right next to him. They walked back together in silence until they were almost home.

"Seriously dude. What happened to you?"

"It doesn't matter." Reese said dismissively as he kept walking.

"What? What does that even mean?"

"It means drop it and get out of my face." Reese shot him a warning glare before he kept walking. Malcolm sighed in frustration but dropped it and they walked in silence once again. When they got in the house Dewey was the only one home and he was sitting on the couch watching TV. Reese went straight to their room and slammed the door shut.

"Did he tell you what happened?"

"No he gave me these instead." Malcolm lifted his arms to show Dewey the large scrapes on his elbows that hadn't stopped bleeding all day because he kept hitting them on things.

When Hal got home he tried to speak to Reese but all of his efforts were rewarded with silence so he eventually gave up and sat with Malcolm and Dewey on the couch watching TV until Lois got home.

"Has he said anything?" She asked.

"I got the silent treatment." Hal reported and Malcolm just showed her his wounded arms and she nodded in understanding.

"Stay here." Lois commanded and they resigned themselves to the fact they were practically glued to the couch until she said they could move.

Reese sat in the corner between his bed and the window in silence. Every inch of his body was in pain. His muscles felt tender and weak, his skin was still burning, and his head felt like it would never stop throbbing. He was trying to disappear in his head to avoid the pain when Hal came in so he ignored him. After Hal left the room Reese went back to trying to disappear and he almost felt lost in his head until Lois came in and he was startled back into his painful body.

"Alright, It's just you and me. And we are going to sit here until you tell me what happened. No food, water, or toilet until you tell me everything." Lois sat on the edge of his bed and stared at him expectantly. Reese simply looked down at the cuts on his knuckles. Lois waited silently for a half hour before snapping her fingers in his face not expecting him to flinch back and cover his face from her sudden movement. She quickly sat on the ground and took his hands in hers. "What happened?" He pulled his hands away and stood up to avoid being so close to her. "Reese...what is going on?"

"Just leave me alone." He tried to walk around her but she put her arm out and he felt trapped.

"Just tell me who." She looked determined and Reese felt his mind and body finally snapping under the pressure. His knees buckled and the room started to spin until he was looking up at the ceiling. He felt Lois' cool hand on his cheek but his vision went black before he could see her face.

He woke as Hal was beginning to pick him up. But before he realized it was Hal he went into a panic and struggled out of his arms and fell to ground, scrambling away from him quickly.

"Reese it's okay. We're just taking you to the hospital." Reese shook his head and put up a defensive arm when Hal kneeled down to try and pick him up again.

"Don't..." Reese said as he slowly stood.

"Reese you passed out, you're covered in cuts and bruises! You have to go to the hospital."

"No...I...no." Reese shook his head again and ran to the bathroom to vomit violently into the toilet.

"Lois!" Hal called out and she ran in to see what was wrong.

"Oh my god! Reese!" She knelt beside him without touching him as he slowly stopped chocking out stomach acid.

"I'm okay...I don't want to go."

"You have three choices. Walk to the car yourself, let your dad carry you, or if you refuse I will call an ambulance and they will get you to the hospital one way or another. Choose." Lois was being stern but inside she was panicking but to everyone's relief Reese stood slowly and limped to the van and crawled into the middle seat.

Hal stayed behind with Malcolm and Dewey as Lois drove Reese to the hospital. Once Lois got him to the hospital he had passed out again so the staff carried him inside.

"What happened?" The nurse who asked knew Lois and Reese well from their frequent trips to the hospital.

"He was gone all night and came home this morning looking like that! He wouldn't tell me what happened! He passed out, threw up, and then passed out again on the way here." Lois rubbed her face as if it would wipe away some of her emotional exhaustion.

"And the other boys weren't with him?"

"No they had no idea he was gone."

"Well we'll get him taken care of."

"No, no. I need to see." Lois insisted she watch as them examine him. She covered her mouth as they cut his shirt off. His skin was marbled with purple and blue bruises that covered his ribs and stomach. They sat him up and his back was converted in similar bruises. Everyone was startled when he woke suddenly. He kicked the nurse at his side and got out of the bed to make a run for the door. "Reese get back here!" Lois yelled as he tried to run but he was stopped because the doctor was walking in and they ran into each other. He fell back and quickly tried to stand and run again but the nurses and doctor pinned him down and injected a sedative into his thigh. He relaxed but it wasn't enough to make him pass out again. They placed him back on the bed and Lois held his hand. "Just relax. They aren't going to hurt you."

"Where's my shirt?" He asked as he stared up at the ceiling. She looked over his abused torso before noticing bruising on his arms that looked like stripes, she realized that the stripe shape was from the fingers of hand prints. He had 4-5 sets on both arms. Then she noticed the bruises on his neck had the same shape and that was the last straw; her eyes flooded with tears and she ran a hand over his hair.

"They just have to make sure you're okay then I'll get you a shirt okay?"

"I don't like it here." He said slowly and he squeezed her hand a bit. She couldn't remember ever seeing Reese this vulnerable and exposed. "Can't we go home?"

"Who did this to you?" She was hoping the sedative was strong enough for him to reveal what happened but he pulled his hand out of her grip and turned away from her. The doctor flashed a light in his eyes and pulled some gloves on and started touching him softly to feel for broken bones. He started on his face and Reese shrunk back into the bed as much as possible to avoid the touch. When he couldn't avoid the touch he scrunched his eyes closed and flinched every time the gloved hands made contact with his skin. When the Doctor got to Reese's hips he pushed the doctor away.

"Back up...perv." Reese said as he sat up to pull his knees to his chest.

"Reese you were limping. Which of your legs is it? Just let him look at it." Lois said mildly frustrated but mostly sick with worry.

"How about we get you a gown to make you a bit more comfortable." The doctor suggested and they left the room so he could take his pants off and and put the gown on. Reese's head was foggy from the sedative and his injuries so he couldn't tie the strings in the back but he left his boxers on so he just laid back down on the bed.

"Mom?" She came back in quickly but he looked a little startled by her quick movements so she walked slowly until she was beside him. "I'm cold."

"Can you get him a blanket?" Lois asked the nurse and the doctor came back in to look at his legs. Lois didn't even know if she was surprised to see that his legs were covered in bruises as well. His left leg in particular had large oval bruises from his ankle up. Once the doctor's hands began feeling his thigh Reese stopped him again and the doctor put his hands up letting him know he would stop.

"Okay Reese we're going to get you some X-rays and go from there."

After X-rays it was discovered that Reese's left arm was broken, 8 broken ribs, sprained ankle, shattered eye socket, and a broken nose. Lois couldn't believe he had gone to school or had even been walking around. She kicked herself for not stopping him and dragging him to the hospital this morning but he had seemed so determined to just go. Reese had never been this secretive about injuries before. Usually any wounds he had were accompanied by a story about him beating some jerk into a pulp. Reese was sleeping now with a cast on his arm and bandages all over. She ran her hand over his dark hair and he mumbled something.

"What? Say that again Reese." Lois said softly.

"I just...wanted to stop..."

"Wanted to stop what?"

"It makes me feel sick." Reese said and his eyes slowly came open. He looked around a little confused at first but then looked to Lois. "Can we go now?"

"Not yet. Just a little while longer." They were just waiting for his bag of IV fluids to empty. "You know we have to talk about this right?"

"No I can't..." Reese's face was unchanging and it was unnerving to Lois.

"I'm your mother. You don't get to tell me no. I'll give you some time but we will talk about this. Understand?" He shrugged and she wanted to throttle him. Why couldn't he just do what was good for him instead of fighting her every step of the way?

Malcolm couldn't sleep. His mind was racing with the possibilities of what happened to Reese. His behavior was so unusual it had to be something serious. As soon as he would get his mind slowed down a new possibility would pop into his head and send him down another roller coaster thought map. He was also scanning his memory for how Reese was acting the days before but nothing unusual stuck out. He was staring at the clock when he heard the van pull into the driveway. He stayed in bed afraid to get in Lois' way. He heard them walk in and Lois speaking softly. She made breakfast and woke everyone up.

They ate in silence so they could ignore the fact that Reese was asleep on the couch looking like he was close to death. His breathing was a bit raspy and they all took turns looking at him in concern. Malcolm and Dewey headed off to school and Lois and Hal stayed at the table.

"Did he say anything?"

"Nothing that makes sense...the doctor said he should stay home for a week...I got the next two days off and then you have the weekend."

"What do you think happened?"

"God Hal...I don't know...I don't know." She ran a hand over her face and he took her hand.

Reese woke up on the couch with Lois asleep in the chair across from him. His head was clearer now but he still hurt all over. He sat up and picked at his cast absentmindedly.

"Quit it." Lois said as she woke up and saw him picking at the cast. He dropped his arm down and sighed. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay." Reese said without really looking at her.

"Reese you understand how serious this is right?"

"It's not..."

"Reese! Look at me!" He hesitantly looked up at her and his green eyes looked darker than normal. "This is serious. I need to know how and why this happened!"

"No...you don't." Reese wiped his brow and shifted slightly.

"Who would do this Reese? Did you do something to-"

"I didn't do anything!" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Then why would someone do this?!" Reese laid back down and turned away from her. "Fine." Lois said angrily and went into the boys room to look around for any sort of clue.

Malcolm walked into the house after school and Reese was still laying on the couch. He went to their room and Lois was in there rifling through Reese's side of the room.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to find out one way or another! If he won't talk to me I'll just have to-"

"He's still not talking?"

"No, he's not talking...how was he at school?"

"Normal I guess. I saw him at lunch...but he wasn't eating he was walking back into the school as everyone was coming out...but that's not that weird."

"What would make him leave school in the middle of the day and end up with him like that?!" She gestured to him in the living room.

"I don't know! It's not like we share diaries mom!"

"Well I'm sorry for assuming you might know what is going on with him! He's just your brother after all!" She stormed past him Malcolm threw his backpack off and sat on his bed. He closed his eyes and racked his brain for clues about Reese. He kept this up until it was getting dark and suddenly he remembered something.

It was a strange memory. He remembered being on this side of his and Dewey's bed, Reese was in his bed but it wasn't his bed then...it was Francis' bed then. Francis had Reese's arm twisted up behind his back and his other hand was over his mouth. Reese had tears in his eyes and was making muffled groan and whimper sounds into Francis' hand. They were under the blankets but he could see Francis' body moving on top of Reese. Malcolm opened his eyes and stood up in a panic trying to get out of the memory. He was breathing hard and struggling to stop picturing it. He quietly went out to the living room where Reese was sitting on the couch flicking through TV channels.

"Reese?" Malcolm slowly sat on the opposite side of the couch. Reese looked over at him for a moment but then turned back to the TV. "Reese, did...was...were you..." Malcolm wanted to slap himself for being so clueless on how to approach this.

"You can ask whatever you want. I'm not talking about it." Reese said without looking at him.

"Why?"

"Fuck you. That's why." Reese again spoke without even looking over.

"Why are you being such a dick? I didn't do anything! I'm just trying to help!"

"Well it took you longer to start talking about yourself than I thought it would." Reese said as he shrugged. Malcolm walked away from Reese back into his their room. He stared at Reese's bed and he knew his memory was real because Reese had the same dead look in his eyes now as he did then.

Reese was up before anyone else. So he slowly made his way outside to the back yard. He sat at the table and let the sun warm his aching flesh. He was resting his head on the cast on his arm when Malcolm sat across from him.

"Look I know why you don't want to talk...and you don't have to talk to me about it but-"

"You don't know anything." Reese said as he lifted his head.

"I remembered something... Something that makes me question everything! Can't you just listen for a minute?" Reese looked a bit curious so he nodded. "Okay well I don't know if I should just tell you what I remember or not...why would I just forget that? Maybe I was just scared...but my point is if this is the same thing that I remembered with the same person as I remember than we have to do something!"

"What did you remember?" Reese asked and Malcolm took a deep breath in.

"I remember that a couple of nights before Francis was sent to military school...I saw Francis holding you down...he had a hand over your mouth and it looked like...he was ra-" Reese suddenly threw his casted arm at Malcolm and it connected with his ear.

"You should really keep that sick shit to yourself Malcolm." Reese said in a calm voice as he walked inside. Malcolm held his throbbing ear not expecting those words from Reese. He had been expecting some kind of hit if he was correct but not those words.

Reese spent his week at home going absolutely insane with boredom. He actually did some of his homework he was so bored. When the day came that he could go back to school Lois insisted on driving them. Malcolm got out of the van first and Lois asked if Reese could stay a minute.

"Come on. I'm fine." He insisted when she was quiet for a moment.

"You're not fine. None of this is fine...if something happens...if you need me or your dad just call. Okay?" Reese nodded and she watched him limp toward the school until she couldn't see him anymore.

Malcolm didn't usually sit with Reese at lunch unless he needed to talk to him about something or get something from him but today he sat across from him. Malcolm let him have the silence for a while but he really couldn't help himself.

"Reese?" Reese looked up at him and Malcolm realized he was just noticing he was there. "Even if what I remembered isn't what happened this time we still have to talk about it."

"It's not about you. Just leave it alone." Reese said as his eyes drifted back to staring at the table.

"I know it's not about me!" Malcolm understood how narcissistic he was most of (all of the) time but this was something very different. "Look you're my brother and I just want to do something!"

"I don't want to talk." Reese said as he lowered his head to the table.

"Okay...can you just say yes or no if I ask questions?" Reese shrugged and Malcolm tried to organize the questions scattered in his head. "The memory I told you about...it happened; yes or no?" Reese nodded without lifting his head and Malcolm felt like someone punched a hole into his chest. He took a moment to regulate his breathing before he asked another question. "Francis did this to you; yes or no?" Reese was still for a moment before giving one small nod and Malcolm thought he was going to pass out. "We have to tell someone or do some-" Reese grabbed the front of his shirt and sat up.

"If you repeat any of this ever I will kill you! Got it?" Malcolm just nodded and Reese let him go but didn't leave.

"What are you going to do? Or what do you want to do?"

"Nothing."

"What?! We have to do something!"

"We?"

"I can't just let him get away with this!"

"He's not your problem."

"What he did to you makes it my problem! You're my brother!"

"He's your brother too." Malcolm was a bit struck by that. Francis was his brother. He thought Francis was his favorite brother but finding out he was capable of something this brutal...he would never see him the same way.

"Not anymore...brothers don't hurt each other like this...I won't accept it."

"Well it's not really up to you..."

"How can you just be okay with ignoring this?"

"I don't have a choice! He's our brother and mom and dad...they can't handle it. I can." Reese went to get up but Malcolm grabbed his arm.

"Wait! Okay I won't tell them but we have to do something! Who's next huh? Me, Dewey, Jaime?" That made Reese sit back down.

"He won't."

"What makes you so sure? We are going to be out of the house and Francis will be able to come to the house and be alone with them! Because why couldn't he?"

"It's part of the deal. You guys are off limits."

"You have a deal with him?" Reese sighed and looked around but no one was giving them the time of day.

"You don't understand anything. Things just are they way they are. Leave it alone."

"I don't accept that! I can't just do nothing when I know he is...hurting you." Malcolm almost said it but the look on Reese's face gave him enough time to change his words.

"I tried to stop okay! I tried and look at me! This is what I got so just leave it alone!" Reese yelled at him and walked off. Now people were staring at Malcolm so he quickly got up and left as well.

Reese was silent at dinner and had had maybe one or two bites of his food so everyone was staring at him in concern. When he looked up and noticed their concerned glances he slammed his fork down into his plate and left the table. He sat on the couch in the living room and everyone just kept eating in silence.

After everyone had finished Reese went to their room and sat at his desk. Malcolm followed him and sat at his own desk. Again Malcolm allowed the silence for as long as he could before he started talking.

"I fix things right? I'm Fred from scooby-doo right?" Reese looked a little confused. "The guy with that ascot...the scarf." Reese nodded. "Then let me make a plan...let me try."

"If it doesn't work and he knows you know...I can't."

"Tell me everything. I'll make him pay...he won't hurt you again. And even if he knows I know there will be nothing he can do."

"You can't be sure of that...your plans don't always work."

"I'll make it work. This is too important...just tell me."

"I can't..." Reese laid his head down on his desk.

"Can you write it all down? We can burn it after." Malcolm knew he sounded desperate but he needed to know exactly what Francis was capable of to form a perfect plan.

"Why do you need to know? You saw once..."

"My plan needs to be perfect...I need to know who he really is." Reese's eyes were blood shot and he looked so tired Malcolm wanted to just siphon his pain away.

"We burn it immediately?"

"Of course." Reese moved some things around and pulled up a notebook and pen from the pile of things on his desk. Malcolm started doing his own homework so he wasn't just staring at him.

When Reese was done writing Malcolm had to choke back a quip about this being the most Reese has probably ever written in his life. Reese tossed the notebook at him and sat with his back in the corner next to his bed.

"You don't have to read it..." Reese said quietly.

"I...I do need to know...but if you don't want me to I won't." Malcolm offered but his eyes were already drifting to the first few words.

"Just promise you'll never repeat any of it."

"Okay."

"No. Promise."

"I swear I will never repeat anything I read or anything I already know." Reese nodded in approval and pulled his knees up to his chest to rest his head on them. Malcolm sat on his and Dewey's bed and began reading.

The words Reese had written were; "I thought it was awesome at first. He would pull me away from you guys and we would do stuff. I thought he just liked me more. But then he kissed me. I pushed him away and made fun of him but he slapped me and got so angry I thought he was going to stop wanting to hang out with me. So when he did it again I just let him. He just smiled and asked it it was so bad to have a brother that loved me so much. I didn't answer.

The night you remember was the first time. He woke me up and had me come over to his bed. He just talked for a long time. At first he was just talking about all of the awesome plans he had but then he started talking about why he wanted to kiss me all the time and I told him I was going back to bed. He grabbed me and pinned my arms. I told him to get off but he was kissing my neck and pushing his leg between mine. I told him to let me go and get off but he said he would tell mom all of the things we had been doing if I didn't shut up. He made me touch him...he turned me over and you saw the rest I guess.

It went on like that until mom sent him to military school. Then every time he would come back for weekends...it was nice when he was in Alaska. Now when he calls in the morning and talks to me...he always tells me where to meet him. So I go and he makes me do...stuff. This last time I told him I didn't want to do it anymore and that I wouldn't meet him anywhere again. He hit me so I hit him back and then it just got worse and worse. He put his hands on my neck and started choking me. I passed out and when I woke up he started kissing me and telling me he was sorry and then he did it again and I just let him so I could go home. I don't know what else you want to know."

Once Malcolm was finished reading the pit in his stomach had doubled and he felt like his blood was boiling with homicidal rage. Reese had his eyes closed but Malcolm knew he wasn't sleeping. He sat on Reese's bed and closed the notebook.

"You could have told me." Reese lifted his head.

"Like you would have believe me. You're like the chairman of the Francis is the best club."

"I'm sorry...but I know what he is now...and I'm going to fucking skin him alive."

"Good luck." Reese said sarcastically and grabbed the notebook from Malcolm. He stood up but Malcolm stood in his way.

"I'm going to destroy him...it's the least I can do for not noticing and for forgetting what I saw."

"You don't have to...what if he tries to hurt you?"

"Okay well then we'll make a deal right now. We are never alone with him. If he's here then we always stay together."

"And with Dewey."

"And Dewey." Reese opened up the window and they climbed out to sneak out of the fence and burn the notebook where their parents wouldn't find it.

Malcolm's mind was constantly trying to formulate a plan to destroy Francis but they all quickly turned into ways to kill him. He had never wanted to kill anyone this way before. But he knew he couldn't... This family couldn't handle a death but could Reese really make it? He found himself constantly following Reese around just to keep an eye on him. He could tell Reese was getting frustrated with him but he couldn't help it.

Malcolm was laying in bed watching Reese not sleep. He hadn't seen him sleep since the first week he was back from the hospital. He got up to use the bathroom and he could her Lois and Hal talking quietly in their room.

"I just don't know how we can afford it." Hal whispered.

"We have to do something. He isn't right Hal. He has to talk to someone who can help him." Lois whispered back.

"But therapy? We don't even know what happened."

"It's something we should have done for him a long time ago."

"Okay." Malcolm stopped listening at this point and went back into his room. He sat at the foot of Reese's bed.

"I just overhead mom and dad and they want to send you to therapy."

"What?" Reese sat up quickly and put an arm around his sore chest.

"Maybe it will be good for you."

"I'm not going."

"Reese...it could help."

"How?"

"You're not sleeping...you don't eat...you haven't destroyed anything...you're not yourself."

"Just because you know doesn't mean you understand. I can't talk to some stranger about it."

"That is the point. They don't know him...they can probably help you deal with your...feelings."

"Get off my bed." Malcolm did as he said and laid back down next to Dewey but neither of them slept.

In the morning Reese sat at the table but didn't have any food on his plate. He was staring down at the table when Hal touched his arm softly. Reese jerked his arm away but relaxed when Hal looked at him with a concerned look on his face.

"Son...your mother and I have decided that we are going to send you to a therapist once a week."

"No...I won't go. Don't waste your money on it."

"Reese this is happening whether you like it or not. You are going! Starting today after school." Lois said I'm a frustrated tone.

"Why?"

"Because you won't talk to us! Something is going on with you and you need to let someone help you."

"I don't need help! Why can't any of you just leave it alone?!" Reese grabbed his backpack and left for school.

"Go Malcolm." Lois said as she rubbed her face in exhaustion.

Malcolm caught up to Reese and they walked in silence for a while. Reese's hands were clenched tight around the straps of his backpack and Malcolm could see his jaw was clenched shut as well.

"You know you don't have to tell them exactly what happened...you can talk about what ever you want."

"I don't want to talk! I don't want to talk about my life, what happened or my stupid feelings! " Reese stopped to yell at Malcolm.

"Your feelings aren't stupid..." Malcolm said and was surprised when Reese didn't hit him.

"How would you know? The only person you care about is yourself. Like your feelings mean more than anyone else's because you're so smart! I should have never told you anything!"

"I do care about other people's feelings!"

"Oh yeah. Like the time you stole my girlfriend or when you feel the need to constantly remind me I don't have any friends or-"

"Okay stop! I know I've been a narcissistic asshole but I...I really do care about you and I hate seeing you like this."

"Stop talking to me! Stop following me around! Stop constantly bringing up something you don't understand and have nothing to do with! Stop pretending you care about me more than yourself!" Reese yelled before walking away.

Malcolm didn't realize how hurt Reese was by him. He didn't mean to be so self centered it was just his first thought. He just wanted go back in time and fix everything he had done. Reese needed his help more than he needed a constant babysitter so he turned around and went back home just as Dewey was leaving and Hal's car was pulling out of the driveway.

"Malcolm why aren't you with Reese?!" Lois asked as he sat back down at the table.

"I need to talk to you." Lois sat back down. "Reese told me what happened to him...I promised to never repeat it but I don't know what to do anymore."

"I think having someone to talk to outside of this family will help him. I'm taking him to that doctor if I have to drag him kicking and screaming."

"He doesn't want to talk about it...he didn't even want to tell me but I forced it out of him with my persistence and he just told me he wished he had never told me anything."

"Reese has an unfortunate amount of my rage and your father's recklessness...he should have been seeing someone a long time ago. He's always been a bully to hide his own feelings. I know you boys treat that like a dirty word but it's not a joke. He needs help. Reese has three states; absolute rage, complete shut down, or balancing in between where he is happy. Right now he is somewhere stuck in all three and even if he needs to freak out or shut down he just needs to feel something."

"And you really think a therapist is going to help?"

"Yes. Because this person doesn't know anything about us. He'll have a completely uninvolved opinion."

"He's not just going to tell a stranger what happened to him."

"I have to try. We all have to try." Lois stood up. "Come on. I'll drive you to school."

Lois pulled Reese out of school ten minutes early so he couldn't try and ditch her in the crowd of kids leaving. He didn't speak to her until they were sitting outside the therapist's office.

"I really don't want to do this." Reese said looking down at his hands.

"I'll make you a deal. If you go every week for a month and talk. I don't care what you talk about but if you talk for four weeks straight you can decide if you want to keep going or if you don't. Deal?" Reese nodded and Lois watched him until she saw him go into the office.

Reese felt like he was going to vomit as soon as they had pulled up to the building but now that he was inside he just wanted to bolt. Four hours over one month weren't so bad to keep Lois off his back...right? The doctor was a tall man, dark haired, and a bit round in the middle.

"Hello Reese. I'm Dr. Carver." Carver said as he smiled and extended a hand to him.

"Good for you." Reese said as he walked past him without shaking his hand. He sat on the couch and Carver sat in the chair across from him.

"So Reese, how about we start off by you telling me a little bit about yourself."

"No...I don't want to talk about me. She said I had to talk but that she didn't care what it was about."

"I assume you mean your mother?"

"Duh." Reese picked at his cast and stared at the door resisting the urge to just leave.

"She expected you to be resistant but I hope you will eventually feel comfortable expressing your feelings. Your family is worried about you."

"I'm not talking about me. Got it?" Reese sat up and looked at Carver's face for the first time. He was a very soft looking guy and it only made Reese want to hit him.

"What would you like to talk about?" Carver offered.

"I don't know...what do people normally talk about?"

"I can't go into specifics because everything said in this room is confidential but normally people talk about the things in their lives that they do not know how to deal with. They find it relieving to express their feelings to someone who can offer a completely unbiased third party opinion."

"Everything is confidential?"

"Yes. I cannot disclose anything you say to me unless it falls under these three exception; to protect you or the public from serious harm, meaning if you told me you wanted to commit suicide or harm another person. I am required to report ongoing domestic violence, abuse, or neglect of children, the elderly or people with disabilities. And lastly if I am required to by court order."

"Why would you want to listen to people bitch about their lives all day?"

"Healthy expression of your feelings is not bitching. Most of the time people don't realize how much they have been bottling up and dragging around with them until they speak without fear of judgement here."

"Do you ever just get so bored listening to them prattle on about their boring pathetic lives?"

"No. I haven't had a boring one yet."

"Do people ever run out of things to tell you?"

"Not yet." Carver answered every question with a smile and Reese hated it. He looked around the room and the room just felt smaller and smaller. "Would you like to view some ink blots?"

"What?" Reese hadn't been listening.

"Ink blots can be interesting. You simply look at it and tell me what you see. It's different for everyone." Reese shrugged and Carver pulled a stack of ink blots off of his desk. "Okay I will show you the blot for 30 seconds and then ask you what you see." Carver lifted the first one and the ink was black. Reese didn't understand what he was supposed to see in the mess of ink at first but then he got a kick in the gut when he realized it looked like the curl and twist of Francis' cigarette smoke. "What do you see?"

"I don't want to do this." Carver lowered the blot slowly.

"What upsets you about this particular blot?"

"It's just stupid."

"The blot or the reason it upsets you."

"The blot! It doesn't look like anything!" Reese stood and started pacing in front of the couch.

"Do you normally become this agitated so quickly?"

"Do you normally become this annoying so quickly?" Reese kept pacing. Why was there no window in here? He needed some air.

"How about you sit back down and we can try something else?"

"What are you trying for exactly? I already told you that I am not talking about myself."

"There's a reason you are here Reese. A reason why you feel that you cannot allow yourself to speak honestly about yourself. Do you know why you are so uncomfortable being here?"

"I'm trapped in a windowless room with a stranger who wants to hear my feelings! Why wouldn't I be uncomfortable?!"

"Because I don't want anything from you except honesty...all I want to do is help you work through a hard time."

"And how are you going to do that? Huh? I'll just tell you my problems and you'll have all of the answers?"

"Of course not...but I can help you work toward realistic resolutions."

"Realistic resolutions..." Reese sat back down and laughed. He had to put and arm around his aching chest but he laughed for a few minutes.

"As silly as it may seem realistic resolutions are possible."

"How much longer until I can leave?" Reese asked as he evened out to serious again.

"20 minutes." Reese threw his head back and sighed heavily. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No." Reese said through gritted teeth as he stared up at the ceiling.

"How about you tell me about your family?"

"What about your family?" Reese shot back without looking at him.

"I have one brother, my parents passed away with two months of each other last year, I have been married for twelve years." Carver answered without hesitation.

"Older or younger brother?" Reese lifted his head to look at him again.

"Older by four years."

"Do you keep in contact? Now that you are old and your parents are dead?"

"Not as much as I would like. What about your brothers?"

"What about them?"

"Are you close with them?"

"I don't know...I guess." Reese knew Carver was getting him to talk about himself but if he refused to talk about his brothers he didn't want to explain why.

"Would you say you spend most of your time with family?"

"Yeah."

"What do you and your brothers do when you are spending time together?"

"Getting in trouble...mostly."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Everything fun gets you in trouble. Everything else is boring."

"Do you frequently feel bored?"

"Yeah."

"Do you ever pursue other interests beside trouble making?"

"Like what?"

"Do you read, watch television, or have any hobbies?"

"Reading is boring, TV is okay. Hobbies? I can cook."

"That's interesting. Can you tell me what you like about cooking?"

"It's easy...fire, knives, breaking things down into something awesome."

"I always feel a great sense of satisfaction when someone appreciates something I made. Do you feel the same way when people admire your cooking?"

"Sometimes." Reese was staring at the door again.

"Do you feel like your skill at cooking is underappreciated?"

"I don't know...how much time?"

"10 minutes." Carver said after checking his watch. "Can I ask you just a couple of things before you go? We don't have time to delve into anything detailed so if you feel comfortable answering yes or no that would be very helpful." Reese shrugged. "You didn't shake my hand...do you often avoid touching others?" Reese nodded but kept looking back to the door. "Have you been sleeping?"

"No." Reese was picking at his fraying cast again.

"Do you feel you cannot sleep because of nightmares or persistent thoughts?"

"Both." Reese could feel every muscle in his body demanding for him to get up and leave but there was only a few minutes left so he stayed.

"How often do you feel lonely?"

"All the time...how much time is left?"

"Five minutes...since our time is so short I think I will end our session with asking for a favor. I am going to give you some forms. In the next week whenever you are feeling anything extreme I just need you to fill out the form and bring it back with you." Carver handed the forms out to Reese.

"No... I... Just no. Can I go now?"

"Please take this at least." Carver held out his card. "You can call me anytime if you are feeling unsafe or need to talk." Reese grabbed the card and walked out the door. Lois was waiting for him and smiled at him when he came out of the building.

"That wasn't so bad right?" Reese didn't answer he just put his seat belt on and rested his forehead on the window.

Reese was laying awake again. His body was still achy and his mind was just stuck in wake mode. He looked over and Malcolm had finally stopped staring at him and fallen asleep. He sat up slowly and got out of bed. He walked quietly to the back door and sat at the table outside. The cold night air was comforting in a way that his bed never could be. He laid back on the table and watched the stars through the clouds. He only moved again when he heard Lois' alarm going off. He walked quickly back into his bed but didn't pretend he had been sleeping.

"Boys get up!" She yelled from her room before coming into theirs to pull the curtains back and pull off their blankets if they didn't wake up. "Reese, did you sleep at all? You look terrible!"

"Thanks." Reese said as he walked past her into the bathroom. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror for a few minutes. Some of the bruising was still a deep purple but parts had started fading to yellow. His eyes were blood shot and tired looking. Why couldn't he just snap out of this? He slapped his face hard once and it made his nose bleed a bit. He wiped the blood off and the fresh sting from the slap helped him get dressed and walk out the door.

He hated every second of school and by fourth period he couldn't take it anymore so he left. He walked a bit aimlessly at first but decided to just walk home. It was strange to be in the house when no one else was there. It was too quiet. He turned on some music and sat on the couch. Everywhere he went in this house he had a memory of Francis. This couch is where Francis kissed him for the first time. He tried to push those memories out of his head but he felt trapped. He tried to put all of his bad memories and feelings into the box in his head to empty it out a bit but he could feel them leaking out. He went into the garage to dig around for the bottle of booze he knew Hal kept in there. He finally found it and only hesitated for a moment before lifting it to his lips and taking a big swig. The bottle only had about a fourth missing so he just drank it all. He threw the now completely empty bottle over the back portion of the fence and went back inside. He wasn't in pain anymore and his face was starting to feel a bit numb.

Malcolm could heard Reese's music from down the street and when he walked in he immediately turned it off. Reese was sitting on the couch and didn't look at Malcolm. Malcolm sat on the coffee table across from him.

"What are you doing?" Reese looked up at him and smiled.

"Oh he-hey...I didn't hear you...come in."

"That's because you had that horrible screaming music turned all the way up. I'm surprised your ears aren't bleeding." Reese laughed a little and Malcolm could tell there was something off about him. "Are you drunk?"

"Not a lot." Reese answered as his hand picked at his cast.

"Stop picking at that! It's going to fall off!" Reese looked a bit startled but stopped picking at his cast. "I'm sorry for yelling."

"Why?" Reese's eyes drifted to the loose button on Malcolm's jacket.

"Because you don't deserve it."

"I don't deserve a lot of things." Reese grabbed the loose button and ripped it off of Malcolm's jacket and then handed it to him.

"Mom is going to loose her shit when she gets home from work and sees you like this."

"Doesn't matter...I feel quiet..." Reese tapped the side of his head like he meant his head was quiet.

"I want to help you...I have to. But every plan I have just becomes a list of ways I could kill Francis and get away with it. How do I help you?"

"You can't... Your problem is that you think that you can fix things by picking at them and picking at them but you can't! I just want you to forget about it. I can deal."

"How is this dealing?"

"It's harder this time because everyone can see...they see something is wrong but no one can do anything so who does it help for them to be worried? It pisses me off...I hate when people look at me like that...like you are now." Malcolm didn't realize that he was staring at Reese until he said that.

"We care about you-"

"You feel obligated to care about me because we're blood...it doesn't mean anything. If you weren't my brother you wouldn't even notice...what was it you said...'You probably deserved it.' Yeah that's what you said."

"I didn't mean it! I was mad that you pushed me that's all! You have to know that I don't think you deserve any of this right?"

"That's funny...how could I know? I don't know anything." Reese stood on wobbly legs and made his way to the back yard. Malcolm followed.

"What can I do to make you believe me? Just tell me what to do!"

"Why? You won't do it!"

"I will! I swear on my life that I will do whatever it is you want me to do!"

"I want you to stop talking about it! I want you to stop trying to formulate a revenge plan! I want you to forget all of this and go back to the way things were before!"

"I can't..." Malcolm felt close to tears he was so frustrated.

"I fucking told you you couldn't do it! How could something I want possibly matter more than your feelings?!"

"I'm sorry but I just can't accept-"

"Nothing fucking happened to you! It isn't up to you! I protected you like I was supposed to and this is what I get!"

"What do you mean?"

"I remember everything! Why can't you? You really think that I would just let this happen for any other reason? I kept him away from you! That's the fucking deal!" Reese was crying now and Malcolm tried to take a step towards him but he backed away. "For once can't you just forget your own feelings?!"

"What do you mean you kept him away from me?"

"That first night he fucked me he went on and on afterwards about how fucking amazing it was and how he wondered if it would be the same with you! I begged him to leave you alone! He promised not to touch you as long as I kept my mouth shut! That's why I never should have told you and that's why I can't tell anyone else!" Reese was crying a bit harder now and Malcolm didn't know what else to do so he moved quickly and wrapped his arms around him. Reese tried to get away from him but in his drunken state he only made both of them fall to their knees. "Let me go! Get the fuck off!" Reese screamed as he struggled to get out of the hug but Malcolm held on. Eventually he stopped struggling and started sobbing. Malcolm held him closer and Reese cried into his shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay...you're gonna be okay." Malcolm spoke softly to as he let his own tears fall.

Dewey walked into the house after school and looked around for his brothers. The back door was open and he could see Malcolm and Reese on their knees holding each other. Reese's face was pressed into Malcolm's shirt and Malcolm was facing away from the house so neither one saw him. He backed up slowly so he wouldn't disturb them. He simply put his head phones on and practiced on his keyboard. His own feelings of confusion and sadness for Reese being transformed into a beautiful melody.

Eventually Reese stopped crying and pulled away from Malcolm. He shoved Malcolm away and he didn't know what for until he started throwing up. Reese's finders dug into the dirt as he gagged and purged his stomach contents until there was nothing left. Once he was done Malcolm helped him stand and took him into the bathroom. He saw Dewey at the table on his keyboard but chose to ignore him for the moment. He sat Reese on the edge of the tub and wiped his face, made him drink a glass of water, and took his shoes off. He helped him to his bed.

"Do you want your pants off?" Malcolm asked and Reese just shook his head. "If you need anything just yell for me but try to sleep." Malcolm shut the light off and left the door cracked. Dewey took his headphones off as he walked out.

"Is he okay?" Dewey asked. Malcolm sat at the table with him.

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"Not really." Malcolm said in a defeated tone.

"Can I do anything?" Dewey was feeling pretty useless.

"Just act normal around him...if you can...but don't...I guess not normal but don't act like you're worried."

"But I should be right?"

"Did you hear anything?"

"No I just saw you guys hugging."

"Don't worry. I'm gonna figure it out."

"Let me help...if you can."

"Okay." Malcolm wiped his face and sat on the couch to be mindless in front of the TV for awhile.

When Hal got home he immediately asked where Reese was when he didn't see him. Malcolm told him that he had finally fallen asleep. Hal looked relieved and tried not to be too loud. Lois also asked about Reese the moment she walked in the door and was given the same information. They ate in silence until Malcolm felt he had to speak.

"I think we all need to stop being so obviously worried about Reese. It's bothering him."

"Did he tell you that?" Lois asked setting her bite of food down.

"Yeah...he just wants things to go back to normal."

"Why can't he tell us that?"

"You know how he is. Talking about his feelings might as well be brain surgery." Malcolm felt bad saying it but it would get his point across.

"I appreciate you being there for him...letting him talk to you but I also think he really needs a to continue and speak to Dr. Carver."

"I think so too but that doesn't mean he'll actually tell the guy anything." Lois sort of nodded and they kept eating in silence.

Reese woke and his head was spinning but he had to piss so bad it hurt. He got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He attempted to wash his hands but he had to sit down on the edge of the tub because his head was spinning so bad. He was startled when the bathroom door to his parent's room opened. Lois turned the light on and he covered his eyes because it made his head throb. She leaned down and touched his forehead softly but then quickly straightened up.

"Are you drunk?!"

"No...I mean not really anymore." He was too tired and in too much pain to argue.

"What is going on with you?" She knelt in front of him and lifted his chin to look into his eyes to find they were filling with tears.

"Please stop asking..." He whispered and wiped at his eyes angrily.

"Whatever happened... I'm never going to love you any less...but I can't help you if you don't tell me...you're in pain and you're my baby-" she chocked back a sob and just pulled him tight to her chest for a hug. He was startled at first but this was his second forced hug of the day and he gave up and just held her back. She kissed his forehead and let him go. "You know you're still grounded right?" He nodded and she walked him back to bed.

When Malcolm woke up he was happy to see Reese still asleep. He got ready and went out to the kitchen for some breakfast. As soon as Lois saw him she stood.

"You are grounded for three weeks mister!"

"What did I do?"

"Oh I don't know! Maybe neglecting to inform me that your brother was completely hammered and not just sleeping has something to do with it!"

"It's not his fault! I just didn't want for him to be in trouble!"

"You're both grounded so cry about it." She finished off her coffee and headed for the door but stopped and turned back to him before she opened it. "He's staying home from school and so are you. Take care of him Malcolm." She gave him a bit of a stern stare and then left. Malcolm threw his hands in the air and sighed. Hal and Dewey left and Malcolm went back into their room. He sat on the bed watching Reese sleep for a few minutes before deciding to make himself some breakfast. When he was nearly done he was startled by Reese suddenly reaching around him to grab some ibuprofen for his killer headache. He popped them in his mouth and went back to bed. Malcolm brought him some water and plain bread in case he was hungry.

Malcolm was napping on the couch when he felt his legs lift. He woke suddenly but it was just Reese lifting his legs and placing them over his own so he could sit on the couch. He relaxed.

"Feeling better?"

"I guess." Reese said as he grabbed the remote and started flicking through channels.

"Mom knows."

"I know. She grounded me." Reese didn't think Malcolm really needed to know everything she had said to him in the bathroom. They sat in comfortable silence as they watched TV.

Reese walked with dread into Dr. Carvers office for the second time. Carver greeted him warmly but did not try and shake his hand. Reese sat on the couch and pushed his hand under his thigh to keep from picking at his cast.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Like I don't want to be here." Reese noticed that two of the painting had switched walls and it made him uncomfortable.

"You look like you're healing. Your bruises. How long will you have the cast?"

"Three maybe five weeks."

"Do you know what sort of fracture you have?"

"I don't know the name. It's one you get from having your arm twisted behind your back too hard." Reese wasn't sure why he said that but it just slipped out.

"That must have been painful...How is school?"

"Boring."

"Have you always felt bored at school?"

"Yeah."

"Is it difficult for you to focus on your studies?"

"Yeah I'm stupid okay. You caught me." Reese felt the same urge to bolt for the door but he tried to swallow it down.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because it's true. Malcolm is the genius. Dewey is even a genius in his own way...music, he gets music."

"And you think you are stupid because your brothers are geniuses? What about your cooking?"

"Just because I'm good at it doesn't mean I'm a genius chef."

"Why wouldn't it? Has anyone ever made something better than you can?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit here."

"Why does it matter?"

"It's something you care about right?"

"Yeah."

"Then it matters." Carver leaned forward to put empathise on the words.

"Why do you do this job?" Reese asked.

"When I was young my mother was sick...she would stay in bed for days and then spend weeks without sleeping. She was reckless and no one knew what to do...until she tried to kill herself. Mental health services at this time were poor and she never really got the help she desperately needed. Now I do everything I can to help those in need. It's who I am."

"I don't want help. I don't want to be here. What do you think you can do?"

"All I can do is open the door and invite you in...you have to make the decision to walk through the door."

"Have you ever had any of your patience kill themselves?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"How do you deal with that?"

"It's never easy. The nature response is to assume all blame. If only of I had done this or that but ultimately I have done all that I can do. Have you considered suicide?"

"No...no."

"But you've engaged in reckless behavior with disregard to your life?"

"What did she tell you about me?" Carver pulled a paper off of his desk and handed it to Reese.

"You can read he letter if you like." Reese took the paper and read it. Lois had written; 'Reese is my second son. He has always been impulsive and sometimes reckless. He has had trouble making friends. It has been clear to me for some time that he is acting out. I didn't understand why at first then it became clear he was suffering from pain he is not comfortable sharing with his family. Recently he came home after being missing for several hours. He was injured very badly and refused to explain what had happened to him. Reese has always expressed his emotions through violence and troublemaking. He has shown little empathy for others. He may not be a genius like his brother but if he sets his mind on things even the most outlandish plan comes to life. He excels at cooking but does not understand how big his gift for it truly is. I'm afraid that we have not given him enough emotional support due to his appetite for trouble (which all of the boys have) so he has only received negative attention. I hope speaking to someone outside of his family will help him open up and teach him how to express himself appropriately.' Reese handed the letter back after reading it twice.

"That doesn't sound like her at all."

"Sometimes we do not get the full scope of who our parents are and how they feel because they are too busy trying to be parents to express themselves naturally."

"She said something strange to me a couple of nights ago...so that was a slip? She was being who she is and not how she thinks she has to be to be a mom?"

"Do you feel comfortable telling me what she said?"

"No...I don't know."

"We can always come back to it if that is what you want."

"Yeah...how much time is left?"

"30 minutes." Reese was a bit shocked. He didn't realize it had been a half hour already.

"Do you think people change?"

"I absolutely believe people are capable of change as long as it is their choice. You have to choose to change because if you are simply doing it to please others you won't actually change."

"Does it get easier to change as you get older?"

"For most...but not everyone...do you feel like you need to change?"

"Sometimes but I was really wondering if-" Reese bit his tongue when he realized he almost said his name. He took a deep breath and tried to organize his thoughts. "If someone I know would change..." Reese could feel his chest getting tight and he was looking to the door again.

"Has this person ever expressed interest in change?"

"I don't know...h-they always try and prove themselves in different scenarios to...just to be right I think."

"Has this person negatively affected you?" Reese just nodded. "If a person is negatively affecting you or harming you in anyway the best thing for you to do is remove them from your life until they actively seek to change themselves for themselves."

"What if you can't cut this person out?"

"What would make it impossible?"

"Real life. Sometimes you just can't!"

"I don't believe that. Even if this person is a long term friend, a family member, a person you feel you owe everything to they still have no right to harm you. Do you understand that? No one just gets to hurt someone else. There is no excuse, no explanation, and no exceptions."

"I've hurt people."

"Yes...and given who you are in this moment would you go back and do it again? Or have you changed yourself?"

"Sometimes I don't realize what I am doing until I've done it...sometimes I just get so angry that it seems like I blink and then I'm standing over some kid with bloody knuckles."

"Have you been experiencing these rage blackouts less and less?"

"Yeah now I have to think and I hate it."

"Why?"

"It's easier to just loose it than to think about why I am doing something."

"Becoming more aware of your impulses instead of blindly acting them out is a good thing and it will only get easier. You've already started a very important step in anger management and that is acknowledging triggers so that you can avoid them."

"Time?" Reese was thinking too much and it was making him want to smash his fist into the wall.

"Five minutes. I know you won't want to but it might be helpful for you to write down anything that triggers a rage response and then detail why you did or did not act out your rage."

"I'll think about it." Reese thought it was a strange thing for him to say because there weren't many things he gave serious thought.

"Do you still have my card?"

"Yeah."

"Day or night you can call me. Even if you just need to yell or cry or anything." Carver smiled and Reese felt uncomfortable with how genuine it was.

"Okay." Reese got up and got into the van where Lois was waiting.

"How was it this time?" She asked as he put his seatbelt on.

"I read the letter you wrote about me...it didn't sound like you...but it did..."

"Do you have any questions about what I wrote?"

"No...I just want to go." Reese rolled his window down for some fresh air as they drove.

Reese forced himself to choke down dinner because no one was obviously staring but he could see their eyes quickly scanning him. Dinners had almost returned to normal and he didn't want to ruin it by not eating. While Lois was yelling at Malcolm and Dewey for something or another Hal caught Reese's attention.

"How was your appointment today?"

"Fine...I guess."

"I just want you to know that even though you are seeing Dr. Carver that doesn't mean I am not willing to talk. I just want...it's good to see you eating son." Hal smiled and Reese gave him the best smile he could in return just to keep him less worried.

"Okay Dad." Reese went back to slowly forcing himself to swallow food that tasted like nothing. The phone rang and Lois answered.

"Oh Hi Francis...next week would be great." Reese felt his chest tighten and he almost spit out the food in his mouth when she said his name. "Yeah he's right here. Hang on." She held the phone out to Reese and Malcolm chocked on his water. Reese took the phone and got up to stand by the wall with his back to everyone.

"Hello." Reese said trying to sound nonchalant as everyone else focused on Malcolm coughing.

"It's good to hear your voice...I've missed you. I'm coming to visit next week and we'll have to make some time to talk. I feel really bad about how I left things last time and mom told me you had to go to the hospital...and that you didn't say what happened. That means a lot to me...I can't wait to see you and give you the apology you deserve in person. You want to see me don't you?"

"I don't know...I just-"

"Just what? Do you have any idea what I have to do to make the time to come and see you as often as I do? I don't make special trips over there for anyone else. Do you know what you mean to me?"

"Mom he wants to talk to you." Reese just handed the phone back to her without saying anything else to him. She talked to him about dates and a couple of things before hanging up.

After dinner Reese sat on his bed trying to absorb the fact that Francis would be here next week and nothing had changed for him. Malcolm came in the room and closed the door before sitting across from him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because...he's coming here...what did he say on the phone?"

"What did I tell you? Leave it alone. Just forget it." Reese said before going into the bathroom. He turned the sink on and threw up.

Reese didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he began dreaming. In his dream he was standing outside the door to a motel room. He knocked and Francis opened the door.

"Took you long enough." Francis waved him in and Reese walked past him but stopped by the bed to put his backpack down. Reese jumped a little when he wrapped his arms around him from behind and then unzipped his jacket and slid it off his shoulders. "I've missed you." Francis turned him around and kissed him. Reese pulled away and Francis pushed him down onto the bed. He grabbed his leg and pulled his shoe off and then the other. "I've been thinking about you all week...your soft skin." He ran his hands under his shirt and pinched at his nipples. "About how you taste." He grabbed his jaw and kisses him, forcing his tongue in his mouth. "About how you bite your lip when I make you come." He pulled both of their shirts off and stripped Reese until he was naked. He kissed him from his neck down to his collar bone. He bit him lightly and then kissed down to his chest. He ran his tongue over one of his nipples before sucking it into his mouth and biting it. Reese exhaled sharply because of the sudden pain and it made Francis smile. He kissed down further and nibbled his hip before kissing his dick. He licked him and sucked him into his mouth as he got hard. Reese had to close his eyes and focus on how it felt instead of whose mouth was on him. Once he was fully hard Francis slicked his fingers with saliva and pressed one into Reese as he continued to suck him. Reese had to focus on the tongue lapping his slit to ignore the sting of a second finger stretching him. "Relax...open up for me." The words only made him feel more nauseas. Just when he was starting to feel close Francis pressed a third finger inside of him and began forcing them in at a rougher pace. "Are you ready?"

"Slow...please go slow." Francis got up to strip down quickly before pulling Reese's legs apart and stroked him as he began pressing his hard cock into him. Reese tried to relax but it had been awhile and it was uncomfortable.

"I said relax." Francis said as he pressed into him fully and put a hand on his throat. Reese tried to close his eyes to focus on relaxing but Francis slapped him.

Reese startled awake and sat up realizing he was in his room not that Motel with Francis. He wiped the sweat off of his forehead and snuck out to the kitchen. He took the phone off the wall and sat with his back against the counter. He pulled Carver's card out of his pocket and stared at it for a long time before he actually dialed the number.

"Hello, this is Dr. Carver." Carver sounded a bit tired but pleasant. Reese's heart was beating out of his chest so he hung up. He smacked the phone against his head a couple of times and then dialed the number again. "Hello, Dr. Carver speaking." He sounded more concerned than tired this time.

"Hey...it's Reese." Reese whispered.

"Hello Reese."

"I just...I found out something today... I don't know how to deal...I had this dream...I want to loose it on someone or I don't know."

"What did you find out?"

"I can't tell you..." Reese could feel tears building I'm his eyes.

"Why are you whispering? Are you safe?"

"I don't want to wake anyone up. I'm okay right now I just...I just can't stop thinking about hitting something, anything and I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Listen to me Reese, you do not have to hurt anyone, that includes yourself. What I want you to do is get a paper and something to write with."

"Hang on." Reese set the phone down and grabbed a notebook and pen off of his desk. "Okay I got it."

"Now what I want you to do is write down every reason why this news is upsetting you."

"I can't get my thoughts...it's moving too fast."

"Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth."

"What? Why?" It was getting harder for Reese to keep whispering because he was so filled with panic.

"Trust me." Carver said softly and Reese clicked the phone against his forehead again before doing as he said. It took several breaths but he felt his chest loosen up a bit and his mind wasn't so scattered.

"Okay."

"Now write down the reasons this news is upsetting but do not concentrate on one singular detail just get it down on paper." Reese started writing but his hand was shaking so he held the phone by pressing it to his shoulder so the notebook was more stable. "Keep taking deep breaths." Carver instructed as he heard his breath becoming more shallow as he wrote. Reese wrote until the page was full.

"I wrote it down."

"Without looking do you remember what your first reason was?"

"No."

"Now that you have written it down what is your biggest concern?"

"I ca-I can't tell you." Reese was squeezing the phone now in frustration.

"Reese I'm not going to judge you. I want to help you." Reese felt a tear fall down his cheek and he chocked back a sob.

"I'm scared...I don't want to see...I don't want to see this person...but I have to."

"Is this person going to hurt you?"

"P-probably..." Reese wiped the tears off his face in frustration. He hated crying especially when people could see or hear him.

"I know this goes against everything you feel is right but I need you to wake up your mom and dad and tell them you cannot see this person."

"I can't. I can't. I can't."

"If you are not safe around this person your parents will protect you Reese."

"No, no, no. This...this will kill them. I can't."

"As upsetting as it may be your well being is more important."

"Is it?" Reese asked as fresh tears stung at his eyes.

"Absolutely. I am sure if they knew what was going on they would agree. This is the person who put you in the hospital correct?"

"Yeah."

"Then what is to stop them from doing it again? What is there to stop them from killing you next time?"

"I didn't do what I was told. If I had just done what I was supposed to do...I just wanted to stop. I should have just kept my mouth shut and we wouldn't have gotten in a fight...I'm just so tired of this."

"Reese what did you want to stop?"

"I can't tell you...I'm not the only one who can get hurt."

"Has this person threatened your family?"

"I have to go."

"Reese please wait. Please talk to your parents?"

"I'm sorry... I can't."

"Would you give me permission to speak to them? If you tell me who this person is I can speak to them."

"No...thanks for talking to me but I think it'll be okay."

"No Reese please don't-" Reese hung up the phone and tore the page out of the notebook he had written on. He quietly snuck outside to burn it.

Francis arrived a day before Reese's next appointment with Carver. Francis walked in with that big smile on his face and Piama looked less than thrilled as she walked in behind him.

"It's great to see you guys!" Dewey, Hal, and Lois hugged him but Malcolm was sitting with Reese in their room.

"What is with you boys?" Lois asked looking at the old bruising on his eye and jaw.

"Come on mom! When someone disrespects your wife you have to take a stand! I was defending her honor." Francis responded with such conviction that no one questioned it.

"Where are my other brothers?" Francis asked looking around.

"Malcolm is helping Reese with his math so they can't socialize at the moment.. Plus they are ground for another two weeks." Lois said nonchalantly and Francis just laughed.

"Just relax okay? I'm not going to leave you alone with him." Malcolm said quietly and Reese just nodded with his head down.

At dinner Francis sat directly across from Reese so that they were face to face. Malcolm tried to keep Francis engaged in conversation to take his eyes off of Reese. Reese tried to eat but he gagged when he put the food on his mouth so he didn't.

"You okay Reese? I've never seen you not eat at dinner before." Piama said completely unaware she was making everyone stare at him in concern.

"I just don't feel...right." Reese said quietly and looked to Lois a bit desperate.

"You can go ahead and lay down in your room if you need to." She offered and he nearly bolted from the table but reigned in his self control and slowly walked to his room.

"Is he okay?" Francis asked quietly.

"Well Francis he's been a little quiet since he had to go to the hospital. He's really not comfortable talking about it right now so if you both could just let him talk if he wants or be silent if he wants oh and don't stare at him."

"What happened to him?" Francis asked and Malcolm was terrified by how convincing his concern was.

"We don't know. But let's just leave that for now. How was your trip?"

"Francis still gets a bit turned around." Piama laughed and the conversation went on. Reese sat with his back in the corner next to his bed. Trying to drown out the sound of Francis' voice by covering his ears.

"Maybe I should go check on him?" Francis offered as they were about to start dessert.

"No! Let me." Malcolm hadn't meant to yell but he was panicked by the idea.

"Nonsense it might be a good idea for you to talk to him. You've always been close. Malcolm sit down." Lois said without looking at either of them.

"But Mom I-"

"Just sit down. It won't kill you." Lois' tone was very serious and Malcolm had no choice but to sit. The only way he could convince her not to let Francis near Reese was to break his promise and he knew no matter what happened Reese would be more hurt by his broken promise.

Reese looked up a bit startled when the door opened. He stood slowly when he saw it was Francis. He was frozen as Francis put a chair from each desk under the doorknob for the bathroom and the hallway so that no one could come in.

"Come here." Francis said in a gentle tone but Reese couldn't move. "I just want to apologize but I won't do it with you cowering in the corner." Reese swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly walked around his bed until there was nothing between them. Francis quickly grabbed Reese's arms in a tight grip. Reese flinched at first but didn't try to struggle free. "Look at me." Francis said into Reese's neck as he planted a small kiss there. Reese slowly looked up from the ground to his hard gaze. "You know this was your fault right?" Francis ran his fingertips over his cast. Reese just nodded. "You started it...maybe I got a little carried away but it seemed like you needed a little reminder of who's in charge. Didn't you?" Reese just nodded again. "I really am sorry that you made me do this. I didn't want to hurt you. I still don't. You understand right?" Reese tried to nod again but he slapped him. "Say it."

"I understand." Reese said as he resisted the urge to rub at the sting on his face from the slap.

"You'll be the sweet boy I know you can from now on...won't you?"

"Yes." Reese said it softly and he flinched back when Francis raised his hand again but it was only to caress his face.

"Relax. So jumpy when we're alone." Francis laughed and sat on Reese's bed. "Come here." Reese didn't hesitate this time. He understood what he wanted. He got down on his knees in front of him. "Take off your shirt." Reese pulled his shirt off with a wince as his ribs were still very sore. Francis leaned back on his palms. "Go ahead." Francis said it like Reese had asked him and he was simply obliging.

"What if someone hears?" Reese asked looking to the door hoping someone else would try to come in. Francis grabbed his hair and yanked him forward so his head was on his chest. Reese put his hands on Francis' stomach to prevent himself from being pulled directly on top of him.

"I'm happy with fucking your face for now but if you want to push me I'll fuck your ass too."

"No I'm sorry." Reese's trembling hands unbuckled Francis' belt and opened his jeans. He pulled them down a bit until his erection sprung free. Francis relaxed his hold on his hair but didn't fully let go. Reese licked the tip first, ran his tongue down the shaft, sucked one of his balls into his mouth and then the other before licking his way back up and taking his length into his mouth. He kneaded his balls with one hand the the other pumped the base of his cock as he slowly took him in deeper and deeper. Francis hissed and groaned softly.

"Ah, that's it...I knew that pretty mouth was going to be good for something. You love it, don't you?" Reese moaned a yes into his cock because he knew the consequences of resistance. Francis' grip on his hair got tighter and he forced him to take him down deeper and he chocked softly. He held him there for a moment before completely letting him go. Reese gasped for air for a moment but started sucking again before he was punished. Reese was relentless in his ministrations because he just wanted him to come. He swallow him down to the base, chocking now and again before pulling back to run his tongue over his slit. Once he was close he pushed Reese off onto his back. He straddled his hips and ran his hands over his chest. Reese quickly started jerking him off. Francis was jerking is hips into the touch so Reese fisted his hands and let him thrust into them. Francis came and bit his lip to stifle his moan. Reese closed his eyes as hot ropes of his come splattered on his chest. "Good boy...so sweet." Francis kissed Reese before gathering up his come and pressing it into his mouth. Reese swallowed it without complaint. "Now get up and act fucking normal. You got everyone out there worried for no reason." He said as he stood and closed his pants. Reese started to stand but Francis grabbed the back of his neck and bent him over the bed. "Before I leave you're going to beg me to fuck you. Understand?"

"Yes." Reese said into his blanket and he let him go. Francis opened the doors once Reese had his shirt on and they walked out together.

Malcolm was playing with his dessert too sick with worry to eat it when Reese and Francis walked out of the room. He couldn't help but notice the flush on Francis' cheeks and the red dappling on the side of Reese's face. He felt like he would be sick but Francis joined right back in the conversation and Reese had his fake smile on. As soon as Francis got up from the table Malcolm turned to Reese.

"I'm so sorry. Mom wouldn't let me go." He whispered but Reese didn't look at him.

"Leave it alone." Reese whispered back and they all sat around the TV. Francis sat right next to Reese and Malcolm didn't know if he could keep his promise much longer.

Reese laid awake looking up at the ceiling. Francis hadn't been as angry or rough as he had feared but he still felt like destroying something. His stomach ached and he wanted to disappear. He felt that familial tickle of nausea in the back of his throat so he ran to the bathroom and dry heaved mostly before expelling what little he had in his stomach. He rinsed his mouth and jumped when Lois opened the door from her room and turned on the light.

"Are you drunk again?" She whispered angrily but he shook his head no. "Are you getting sick?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe." She felt his forehead but he felt cold to her warm hands.

"Have you slept?"

"I'm alright." He shrugged her off but she grabbed his arm as he was turned and he couldn't help but flinch and recoil. She quickly let him go but looked at him in a strange way.

"Reese...did...the person who did this...do you know them?"

"No and I don't want to talk-"

"I know. I know, but Reese...you can tell me."

"Goodnight." He said it just above a whisper and walked back into his room.

That morning Reese forced food into his mouth because Francis was watching. He knew he looked like a drug addict because he hadn't slept in so long but the way Piama looked at him made him want to shake her.

"Come on I'll drive you guys to school." Francis offered.

"We can walk. It's fine." Malcolm said dismissively but Reese stood up and grabbed his bag. Malcolm felt obligated to go then so that they were not alone. They were silent the whole way and once they got there Francis grabbed Reese's arm when he tried to open his door.

"Go ahead Malcolm." Reese said over his shoulder and Malcolm got out. He watched them for a second but Reese glared at him so he walked away.

"What's up with him?" Francis asked.

"Mom gave him a lot of shit for not knowing where I was so now he feels like he as to keep tabs on me." Reese said without missing a beat.

"You couldn't have come up with something? You just went with 'I can't tell you'?"

"My head was messed up..." Francis looked around and punched him I'm the stomach. Reese doubled over but didn't make a sound.

"Stupid is all your head is...mom told me she is sending you to a therapist."

"I haven't told him anything. I swear."

"I've been having a hard time believing you lately." Francis licked his lips as he gripped the steering wheel. "Get out. Me and you are going to spend some time together tonight." Reese quickly got out and tried to walk casually into school. Once he got inside he found the nearest bathroom and threw up everything he had forced himself to eat earlier.

School dragged on but Reese was grateful. He sat down at an empty table during lunch and Malcolm quickly found him and sat with him.

"Did he hurt you?" Malcolm asked straight off.

"No."

"What did he say?"

"He apologized last night. Wanted to make sure I was okay today." Reese was so empty Malcolm couldn't tell if he was lying.

"What? But you had this redness on your face last night like you were slapped and he was flushed and the way he grabbed your arm in the car."

"I was stressed out and I did that to my face, okay? He was flush from rubbing his face while he was talking. Leave it alone."

"So he didn't do anything?"

"No so just stay out of it." Reese got up from the table and Malcolm didn't know what was true anymore.

Reese was nervous on the way to Carver's office. He was picking at his cast but Lois clicked her tongue at him and he stopped.

"How are you feeling about Dr. Carver? I know it's only your third visit but are you starting to feel comfortable talking to him."

"No. I hate it. But two more and I don't have to go again."

"I really don't think you appreciate this opportunity Reese." She said as she pulled up but he just got out without saying anything else to her. He walked into the office and hesitated. He hadn't spoken to him since that night on the phone and he didn't know what he was going to say.

"Oh Reese. Come in." Carver opened the door for him wearing a look of extreme concern. "You look exhausted." He waited for Reese to respond but he didn't. He just sat on the couch and resisted the urge to pick at his cast. "Are you safe at home Reese?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." Reese didn't look at him.

"Reese when you called me the other night I felt you were close to talking about what happened to you...does this person being here make you feel like you cannot talk about it?"

"I told you day one I couldn't talk about it...I have today and another hour next week and then my mom won't make me come here anymore...I'm not going to talk about it."

"You cannot continue to internalize and carry this secret yourself. You're making yourself sick. When was the last time you ate anything?"

"This morning."

"We're you able to keep it down?"

"No."

"When was the last time you ate something and kept it down?"

"I don't know."

"When was the last time you slept?"

"Last week sometime...I got drunk and was able to sleep...a little the night I called you."

"This is not healthy Reese. You understand you can die from lack of sleep right? And from not eating?"

"Yes I know that." Reese rubbed at his sore face.

"Reese...I know how difficult this must be-"

"No you don't. How could you possibly know?!"

"I have been sitting in this chair for 25 years. I have seen others like you. Too afraid to show their pain to others so they turn it all in on themselves...do you feel like you deserve this?" Reese hadn't been expecting the question. He wanted to say yes and beg go know why.

"I don't care what you've seen...I'm not talking about it."

"Do they tell you it's your fault? Do they blame you for everything?"

"I'm not talking about it!"

"It's not your fault. It has never been your fault. Please believe me on this Reese. What happened and is happening is not your fault."

"Stop saying that!" Reese stood up and started pacing around.

"Be honest with yourself! Carver sounded almost pleading at this point.

"Just stop talking!" Reese rested his back against the wall close to the door.

"This isn't your fault. Your family will understand. Ree-"

"I told Malcolm." Reese drummed his fingers over the wall. "I told him and now he looks at me like...like I'm made of glass. It makes me want to hit him. It's all he ever wants to talk about. He knows and now it will never be the same because that's all he sees when he looks at me...telling won't magically fix anything...it will shred my family apart. I can't do it...I'm sorry." Reese slid down the wall and sat on the ground. He pulled his knees up to his chest and held them.

"Let's take a break." Carver got up and left the room. Reese ran a hand through his hair and rested his head on his knees. Carver returned a few minutes later with two cups. He held one out to Reese. "It's a little hot still give it a second."

"What is it?"

"Tea." Reese kind of crinkled his nose up at the cup and set it on the ground next to him. Carver offered a break and he gave it. They sat in silence for some time before he spoke again. "Please at least try the tea?" Carver asked so Reese took a small sip and it wasn't so bad so he drank it slowly because his stomach was still a wreck. "Can I ask you something?" Carver asked.

"I don't know if I'll be able to answer."

"Did this person tell you why they hurt you?"

"It doesn't make sense."

"What do you mean?"

"Always 'do you know how much you mean to me or it's not that bad having someone love you this much right?'. Always that and I just don't get it."

"Does this person also belittle you?"

"What?"

"Make you feel small insignificant? Do they insult you in the same sentence as a supposed compliment?"

"Yeah." Reese drank more of his tea and was starting to like it.

"If this person loved you...would they really do the things they have done? And said the things they have said?"

"I know it's not love...I know. But why do they believe it?"

"It's the only way they can rationalize the horrible things that they do...they also use it to guilt you. But I love you so why can't you do this for me? No one else is ever going to love you so you have to bend to my will. It's a manipulation."

"When I asked you if people changed...I had hoped that the next time I saw h-them that they might be different. But even after he tried to kill me...he's exactly the same." Reese nearly dropped his cup when he realized he said he instead of this person or them or some other word.

"He tried to kill you?"

"I just said I didn't want to keep doing what we were doing but he started screaming at me and throwing things and he kept grabbing me so I hit him, he hit me back and we got in this horrible fight. He broke my arm and when he let me go he told me I hadn't given him a choice. I kicked him and he put his hands around my throat. I thought I was going to die but I woke up a few hours later...he said he tried...he just couldn't let me go." Reese could feel tears building and he hit his face harshly forgetting where he was. Carver got out his chair and sat on the ground close but not too close to Reese.

"Do you often hit yourself Reese?"

"More lately." Reese couldn't deny it he had literally just done it in front of him.

"Do you know why?" Reese shook his head. "It's the same reason you can't eat or sleep. You are desperately seeking control over your body, over the pain you feel."

"I don't know what to do...I can't tell...I can't make him stop...what can I do?" Reese swiped the tears away from his eyes furiously.

"You can make him stop by telling. If you tell me I can tell your parents."

"I can't." Reese was crying into his knees now. He couldn't do this. Francis was going to humiliate and fuck him as soon as they were alone but if his parents found out they would lose their minds or drop dead.

"Okay Reese. Just breathe like we talked about." Carver handed him some tissues. Reese felt like his chest was tightening up and he was going to die. "Just breathe." Reese struggled to get decent breaths in but he wanted to curl up and hide somewhere. Once Reese calmed down. Carver told him to lay down on the couch. "Just rest for a minute." Reese laid on the couch and he felt exhausted.

Reese hadn't realized he had fallen asleep until he woke up to Lois' voice. She ran her hand over his hair softly.

"It's time to go." She said and he sat up. Carver was sitting in his chair again. As they were walking out he stood.

"Remember what I said, Reese." Reese just nodded and quickly followed Lois out. Lois was quiet on the drive home until they pulled into the driveway.

"I know we don't say it enough but I love you Reese. We all love you." Reese was so tired and exhausted.

"I'm sorry that I don't think I've ever said it." He said as he rested his forehead on the cool window.

"Even if you can't tell me what happened if you just told me who-"

"Just stop. You don't want to know." Reese got out of the van and walked right passed Francis to his room. He closed the door and sat in the corner. When Francis came in he didn't move or look at him.

"What are you doing? Get up." Every muscle begged Reese to just comply but he didn't. Francis came around the bed and knelt down in front of him. "Get up. We're going out."

"No." Reese said still looking down at his knees. Francis grabbed his shirt and pulled him up to his feet.

"Are you so stupid you don't remember the rules?" Francis said through gritted teeth.

"No. I can't do this anymore." Francis punched his stomach again.

"Knock it off and come with me. Or I'll take Malcolm. Or I am sure Dewey would love some alone time with his big bro." Francis had a hold on Reese's neck now.

"If you touch them I'll tell mom. It might kill her but I bet she would kill you first." Francis hit him again and he doubled over holding his chest. Francis opened the window and forced him out. Once they were in the yard he grabbed his arm and dragged him to the garage. He locked the door once they were inside and threw him to the ground. Reese covered his head but Francis kicked him in the chest.

"Why would she ever believe you? Huh?" Francis kicked him again but this time in the back.

"Because it's true!" Reese tried to stand up but Francis sat on his stomach and pinned his wrists to the ground.

"And when have you ever told the truth? You can't even admit how much you love this."

"I don't." Reese said trying to struggle free.

"I'll show you." Francis pulled up Reese's shirt and shoved it into his mouth before opening his pants. Reese kicked him away but Francis punched his chest twice and he couldn't breathe. As he was struggling to get a breath in Francis pulled his shoes and pants off. Francis pulled his belt off and put it around Reese's neck. He pulled the belt tight and turned him over so he was on his knees and elbows. "Hold still." Francis tightened the belt a bit when he tried to get away. Reese's fingers dug at the belt around his neck but he couldn't loosen it. Francis pressed two spit slicked finger inside of him.

"Francis p-please...stop." Reese chocked out but the belt just got tighter. Francis added another finger and Reese stopped pulling at the belt.

"If you wanted me to be gentle you should have been good." Francis leaned over him to whisper in his ear but he did loosen the belt a small amount. "Just relax baby." Francis said softly as he pulled his fingers out and opened his own pants. He ran his hard length between his cheeks before pressing inside. Reese couldn't help the whimper that escaped his lips when Francis pressed his entire length inside of his ass. "Oh I've missed this...still so damn tight." Francis began thrusting almost immediately and Reese had to muffle a sob into his shirt. With the belt loosened Reese was able to get his fingers underneath and slowly pull it even looser. Francis was gripping his hip as he slammed into him again and again. His other hand was pulling the belt tight and loosening it randomly. His thrusts become more aggressive and he pulled the belt back hard as he came inside Reese. He let the belt go completely but Reese didn't pull it off his neck. After a moment Francis aggressive turned him over on his back. He pulled his thighs apart and rested his weight on top of him. "Say it." Francis whispered into his neck before kissing his mouth. Reese turned away.

"No." Reese knew he was only making it worse but he couldn't say it again.

"Fine." Francis pumped his cock a few times until he was hard again and then thrust back into him. Reese winced and closed his eyes but Francis tightened the belt. "Look at me." Reese did but he couldn't stop the tears from falling. Francis pulled Reese's legs up onto his shoulders. "Just say it and I'll be gentle." Francis grabbed onto Reese's arm and held it as he began thrusting in harder.

"No." Reese said even though he just wanted to die.

"I love you so much. Why do you make me do this?" Francis said as he tightened the belt a bit. Reese tried to pull at the belt but Francis wouldn't give. "Just say it." Reese took his hand off the belt giving up. He felt his entire body relax and he knew he was close to passing out. Francis slapped him. "Hey no passing out. Stay with me...I'm close." Reese tensed up again as Francis pulled the belt off and he could breathe again. Francis pressed his fingers into Reese's mouth with force as he groaned and came inside of him again. He pulled his fingers out of Reese's mouth and kissed him. He pressed his tongue past his lips but he pushed him away. Francis let out a frustrated growl and grabbed his hair. "Give me a kiss and I'll let you get dressed." Reese sighed and leaned up to kiss Francis' neck quickly. "A real kiss." Francis said as he leaned down to ghost his lips across his. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Francis'. He grabbed the back of his head and deepened the kiss. Once Francis was satisfied with the kiss he let him go and stood up to close his pants. Reese pulled his pants back on and stood slowly. When he started for the door Francis grabbed his arm. "Are we okay?"

"No...his was the last time." Francis slammed him against the door.

"You really think I'm just going to give up?"

"I can't do this anymore! I won't let you do this anymore!" Someone tried to open the door and then knocked.

"What is going on in there?" Lois yelled from outside. Francis let him go and he opened the door. "What were you doing?" Lois asked, expecting to catch them in the middle of some stunt.

"Nothing mom! Can't I talk to my brother for five minutes without you flying off the handle!" Francis said defensively.

"Say we're done!" Reese yelled at Francis without looking at Lois.

"We're not done!"

"We are! Say it or I'll tell her!"

"Tell me what?" Lois was watching them with confusion.

"I can't just stop!"

"You have to! Say you'll never do it again!" Reese was feeling close to just snapping.

"I need you!" Francis sounded honest but Reese couldn't believe him. He turned to Lois.

"I'll tell y-" Francis punched him and Lois pulled Francis away from him.

"What the hell is going on?!" Francis pulled out of her grip.

"Forget it! I'm leaving!" Francis stormed out of the garage. Lois turned to Reese who had fallen from the hit and his lip was bleeding.

"What was that about?" Reese pulled himself up and went after Francis.

"Hey! You have to say it!" Reese yelled and he turned around.

"I'm leaving and you'll never see me again! Is that good enough for you?!"

"Yeah." Reese said and Francis went in to pack his things and get Piama. Reese stood there watching them leave in disbelief. Maybe it worked...maybe it was really over.

"Tell me what is going on this minute!" Lois yelled from behind him and he turned around.

"It's okay." Reese said before going inside with Lois right behind him.

"How is this okay? What were you talking about?"

"I figured it out! Just leave it alone!" Reese went into his room and grabbed some fresh clothes before going into the bathroom. He tried to close the door but Lois pushed it open.

"What were you going to tell me Reese?"

"Nothing."

"He said he needed you. Needs you for what?"

"Nothing!"

"You wanted him to say he would stop. Stop what?!"

"Nothing! It's fine now!"

"Was he-did he..." She covered her mouth and sat on the edge of the tub. "I'm going to kill him."

"No, no, no, no! Whatever you are thinking isn't true!"

"What happened to your neck?" Reese touched his neck softly realizing it must be red from the belt.

"We fought! What's the big deal?"

"Why were you fighting?"

"It doesn't matter." Reese moved a few steps back from her as she stood.

"You look me in the eye and tell me what just happened." Reese backed into the sink and she stood waiting. He looked up at her but his mind was spinning with too many things that could go wrong to think of anything believable. "Tell me." She said with a bit of frustration but mostly concern.

"I can't! Just leave me alone!" Reese went for the door but she got in his way.

"No. You tell me what is going on now!"

"I didn't do anything! Stop yelling at me!" Reese backed away from her again. He was stunned for a moment as she began to cry. She sat on the toilet and put her hands on her face as she sobbed. "Don't...don't do that."

"I don't know what else to do..." She grabbed some toilet paper and wiped her eyes.

"You don't have to do anything. It's okay."

"You're not okay! Look at you!" She crossed her arms and stared into his eyes. "Is Francis the one who broke your arm and beat you up?" Reese started to deny it but the words got stuck in his throat. "Why would he do that Reese?" She stepped in closer and his back hit the door.

"H-he didn't."

"Why are you lying?!"

"I'm not!"

"I can't think of anything else that makes sense except...is Francis...has he been inappropriate with you?"

"What?"

"He said he couldn't just stop...that he needed you. What can't he stop?"

"He's gonna stop! That's why he left!"

"Stop what?!"

"Fucking me!" Reese covered his mouth as soon as the words came out of his mouth. Lois stood there with her mouth open for a moment.

"Oh Reese." She said softly and he pushed passed her to throw up in the toilet. Again he was just forcing up stomach acid. She rubbed his back softly.

"What are you going to do?" Reese asked her once he stopped heaving.

"I don't know yet. I need you to tell me how this happened."

"Can I take a shower first?"

"Okay. We'll talk after." She stood slowly and left the bathroom. Reese quickly undressed and got in the shower. He scrubbed at his skin until he was pink all over. He put his clean clothes on and hesitated leaving the bathroom. How could he have said that? What was wrong with him? So stupid...stupid...stupid. Reese hit his face multiple times without thinking. His split lip started bleeding again so he wiped it off with his shirt sleeve. He could feel his hands trembling as he walked out of the bathroom and found Lois sitting at the table. He sat across from her. "When did it start?" Was her first question.

"A little before he went to military school."

"That long? Why didn't you tell me?"

"He...he said he'd do it to Malcolm or Dewey."

"I can't believe this...I never thought he was capable of...this is madness." She rubbed her eyes. "I'm so sorry I didn't see what was happening."

"It's okay...I didn't want you to know."

"What do you want to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you want to do about this?"

"I already fixed it. He left so I wouldn't tell you."

"And what happens when the holidays come around or someones birthday?"

"I don't know."

"I can't allow him in this house again."

"Are you going to tell everyone?"

"Do you want me to?"

"No."

"Then I won't... But you have to keep seeing Dr. Carver."

"Okay."

"I also need you to be honest with me."

"Okay."

"Alright. I love you. Now go get some sleep." She stood and kissed his forehead lightly as he started for his room.

Malcolm sat up in bed when Reese walked in. He watched Reese sit on his bed and gave him a minute before speaking.

"I'm glad you told her."

"I...I think I am going to try and sleep."

Reese laid in bed unsure of what tomorrow would be like but he felt like an unmeasurable weight had been lifted from his shoulders and for the first time in months he slept peacefully.