I slowly came closer to her, avoiding making too much noise as I approach her motionless form. She was still in her wedding dress but her neat perfect hair from earlier was now dishevelled, like she spent these past few hours running her hands through it.
She was standing on the balcony of the beach house; half of her body was leaning towards the edge as if there's not a twenty-foot drop below her. For a second I start to worry that she might be thinking of something terrible like jumping but I quickly dismissed it, she won't do anything stupid like that.
However, as quiet as I tried to approach her, the clumsy part of me still prevailed, my heel caught the edge of the carpet and I promptly fell down with a large thump. She quickly spun around towards the source of the sound and found me lying almost face down on the middle of the room, my face burning crimson.
Jade smirked, the fire in her eyes that I grew so used to seeing, returned. However, as quickly as it appeared it was also gone and was replaced by a frown. Of course, she's frowning, I thought. She's been through probably one of the worst day of her life. I'm even slightly impressed, because even though she's feeling like absolute crap now she looks practically normal. The girl has been through hell, but you'd hardly know by just looking at her.
Because she still looks utterly beautiful.
"If you're here to say that everything happens for a reason, or it's going to be aright, or in due time this will all make sense, or that he's got a reason for doing this, or any other bullshit like that, the you can politely fuck off." She says not leaving her spot at the balcony.
I remained quiet as I stood up and straightened out my dress, not really surprised by the venom of her words or her use of profanity. She's Jade West after all. I've become accustomed to her sharp words and venomous tones. But today, I'm not bothered by it one bit because she has all the right to act this way.
It was kind of refreshing actually, for the past few months she had been full of pleasantness and smiles that it made me a bit uncomfortable. Her anger is so like the old her, the old Jade that it made me almost smile.
"No." I replied, shaking my head. "I wouldn't say anything like that because that's bullshit."
She arched an eyebrow at my use of curse words but didn't say anything.
"I have no idea if you're going to be alright, and it would be crazy to think that you're fine right now, and I don't really care if he has reasons—because whatever reasons they are, they still couldn't justify the fact that he is a total douche for ditching you, on the day of your wedding no less. And if this would all make sense in due time, whatever the fuck that means, I would rather prefer nonsense."
She smiled a bit then frowned again, as if she didn't mean to smile but couldn't help it.
"You can go ahead and hang here for a while, Vega."
"Good." I say in a bright voice and walked towards her. "Watcha looking at anyway?"
"Oh you know, the random guests below, I'm looking for someone who I can throw this potted plant to." She motions to a shrub beside her casually.
My eyes widened as I hesitantly ask, "You're not serious, aren't you?"
Because I couldn't really put it past her to do stuff like this because of her current state, plus, she's Jade.
She just laughed, but didn't answer my question. That didn't make me feel comforted one bit.
Maybe I should duck and cover especially now that she has the urge to throw potted plants at people.
"So what have you been up to these past few days? I haven't seen you much around, I've been busy arranging stuff to come and hang out with you guys." She asks after a few minutes of silence.
"Oh you know, exploring, going to the beach. I haven't hung out much with the guys because they're too busy and this has been a very boring wedding." I realized my words and I quickly looked at her with wide eyes.
"Um, no offense Jade. Everything is nice and all but it's just not—"
"It's not me?" she says cutting me off. She didn't seem to take offense of the fact that I called her wedding boring.
That's a pretty bad sign.
"Yeah…" you say quietly.
"Well, I tried to be more normal for…him. I guess it didn't matter that much now." She says bitterly but I can hear the hurt under those words and that she can't even say Beck's name.
I just looked at her. She was wearing this beautiful white dress that Cat designed. Her makeup was smudged but she still looks stunning and it's making my brain go haywire.
"You know the funny thing is…what he did? I was planning to do it; I was going to do it, except maybe have the decency to fucking go sit with him in a corner preferably NOT in the day of our wedding and tell him that I wasn't that happy anymore. I've been thinking of it over and over, that this marriage; this isn't what I wanted anymore. And maybe he'd cry because I don't fucking cry and maybe talk me out of it. Then I don't know what came over me this morning, I just woke up and decided that these are all wedding anxieties you know? And I should still marry him."
"What I don't know what came over the both of you guys, because you guys are Beck and Jade, your both been together for over six years, sure you two fight a lot and stuff but I just figured that it's just a part of you both are."
She looks at me like I'm stupid.
"Don't be stupid Vega." I knew it.
"I have to admit that at first the fights are alright, it seems fun at first and the makeup sex was awesome."
She smirks at my grossed out face and continued.
"But that was years ago, yeah in the beginning he was fun. I was too. We were younger and it was high school and it just seemed like he was the only constant person in my life, my best friend. And he is one of the best things that happened to me, and I thought if I could hold on to him, I would be happy for once but then the fights started getting worse and it doesn't seem fun anymore and we were getting less and less uncomfortable around each other so this morning I thought that maybe if we got married those stuff would stop and we could be back to being us again but-"
She stopped talking, realizing she was rambling and pouring her heart out to me, her not-so-friend.
I just stood there quietly, thinking that she needs this; she needs to let out all the frustrations for today so I kept quiet and offered a small smile of encouragement.
But she just turned around and returned to staring out the balcony, I followed her and after a few minutes she cleared her throat and started talking again, albeit a bit awkward.
"Yeah, so that's that. Probably the best huh? I couldn't blame him, who would want to be stuck around with me? I'm just a grouch."
Jade looking so sad, hurt and disappointed started something in my chest like I just want to hunt down Beck and punch him for making Jade feel this way.
"Stop right there Jade West. I'm ending this pity party of yours."
She looks up, slightly confused. "Huh?"
"Don't blame yourself for what he did to you today because yeah you both had problems but that doesn't excuse himself for leaving you out here dealing with the aftermath of his stupid decisions."
And I know I'm really getting into full rant-mode because I'm starting to wave my hands all over the place.
"He could've asked you to talk before the wedding and tell you both what you already knew, that this marriage is a bad idea, but no, he just ran away. That is fucking cowardly, that is such a stupid and childish thing to do. And don't get me started on your 'oh who would want to be stuck around with me' bit because if you're thinking that you don't deserve love then you're stupid too because you're Jade West, you're beautiful, talented, smart, funny, strong and anyone would be lucky to be with you let alone marry you so stop being whiny and-"
I could've said more probably do a full on rant that would put any lawyer or politician to shame but i can't because Jade has suddenly leaned over and is now kissing me, kissing me like she was drowning and I was the last breath of oxygen and damn, she is a good kisser. She was insistent yet gentle and I know there are probably a million and one reasons why I shouldn't be kissing her but she started to pull my hair so I really had no choice but to move closer and kissed her in equal fervour. All the while thinking fuck it, she's good.
She bit gently on my lip and I couldn't control the embarrassing whimper that escaped but as quickly as she started kissing me, she jerks away. Her eyes are wide and her hair was a mess and I couldn't help but smirk inwardly thinking I did that to her.
She blinks a few times, open-mouthed and I would've made a remark that Tori Vega made Jade West speechless but she cleared her throat.
"I…I…you…" she stammered. She closed her eyes and I started to panic, maybe she would kill you for letting her kiss you, maybe she would just throw you out the balcony and pretend you slipped.
But my inner panic was abruptly stopped when she quickly ran out of the room, leaving me standing there, clothes and hair rumpled.
It was probably just better to leave her alone and let her think for a while but seeing her terrified and confused made me run after her.
Why? I don't seem to know why either.
I probably have a death wish.
She was barely outside of the big beach house when I caught up with her, probably because of her heels, really, who could run in those things anyway?
"Jade, Jade…" I say breathlessly.
Wow, I need to work out more.
I grabbed her elbow and made her turn around and she let me. It seems strange that she doesn't want to punch my face or stab her scissors into my gut but you just took it as a good sign.
"Vega, I hate you. I've always hated you." She says and I smiled faintly.
"I know, you've been saying that for years."
"But you know what? Fuck it." Then she smiled.
Is she going to kill me now?
"I don't understand..."
"I'm not going to apologize. This has been a suckish day and that felt good. Kissing you felt fucking good. Surprisingly."
"Thanks, I guess?"
"But yeah, I am sorry if I ran away a while ago, I got a bit…overwhelmed and I'm sorry if the spontaneous make out was weird for you… because of you being all prudish and shit."
"HEY! I am a very adventurous person." I say, offended. Leave it all to Jade to insult me even in this kind of situation.
"Whatever you say Miss Sweet Sally Peaches." She teased.
I just huffed indignantly but didn't comment anymore because she's looking at me with those bright blue-green eyes and she's finally smiling and I was the one who caused it, I made her shitty day a bit better.
"Your eyes are so gorgeous." i blurted out randomly, because they are, like the sea, mysterious yet beautiful and so easy to drown in.
"I knew you had the hots for me. You were always staring at me, and looking at my chest back in high school." She says and smirks. I can feel my face heat up and I probably resemble a tomato right now.
"I-you-Nnno-I didn't-shut up!"
She just laughed at my frazzled response and even though my mortification was the cause of it, I can't really find the will to get mad at her because she looks so beautiful when she laughs.
Man, I'm pathetic.
"So, wanna do something? I'm pretty sure you're not too eager to face them now." I ask, silently hoping she will agree.
"Like what?" She asks looking a bit hesitant.
"Anything you want."
"Anything?" she smiles deviously and I start to feel a bit scared and worried for my well-being.
I find myself silently staring at the huge television, mouth agape, desperately want to look away from the gruesome scene that's currently taking place but can't seem to move nor close your eyes.
"Having fun Vega?" Jade asks you in a teasing tone.
"Y-yeah." You gulped audibly at the bloody scene in front of you. "I didn't know that you can use a pencil in such a violent way…it's good to know."
"I'm glad you find it so entertaining, because we're going to watch three more." Jade says with an evil-looking smile.
I can practically feel my face blanch and my stomach turn at the thought of watching three more of these kinds of films.
"Three more?!" I half shouted, surely she's not that evil. Oh who were you kidding, this is Jade were talking about.
"What's wrong Vega? I thought you say we could do anything I want." She says with a small pout, trying to guilt me.
Nope, not falling for that trick.
"Yeah but I didn't think you would force me to watch these stuff! You just want to watch me gag and lose my dinner."
"That would be fun, yes." She deadpans and I scrunch my face in disgust.
"Gross, Jade"
"You weren't saying that when you practically pounced on my face earlier."
"You kissed me first!"
"And as I recall, you kissed me back, enthusiastically I might add."
"Ugh, you're the worst"
"No Vega we are not going to fucking watch that.
"Why not? I sat through three of your movies Jade, three! Now we are going to watch one of my shows."
"But Dora the Explorer?! Really?!"
"I need to erase those horrible images in my head, so suck it up."
Half hour later
"It's right behind you Dora! Turn the fuck around!"
"Jade, you know it's just a show and they can't hear you."
We spend the next few hours watching all kinds of movies and TV shows, both laughing at the stupid and funny parts and groaning at the parts you hate. Well, mostly Jade did that because if I tried to react negatively on her choice of movies she'll threaten to disembowel me.
We both didn't notice the time passing and before we know it, it was late and we're both passed out on the couch.
I woke up to darkness. I feel a bit disoriented because I can't see a thing. Thinking maybe it was still night-time I tried to stand, and then realized that the darkness was due to Jade's hair that clouded my face.
She was sprawled on the couch, her left arm halfway dangling at the edge as her back was facing me. My own arm was wrapped around her waist and I couldn't find the will to remove it. So I did what my half-conscious mind suggested, I fell back to the couch and continued sleeping.
"Tori, hey, wake up."
"Urgghhh. No, go away."
I hear a faint rustling sound then a falling sensation.
"Ow! JADE!" I find myself on the floor looking up at the smirking face of Jade; she was in an old band shirt with her hair messed up, some of it sticking out in random places.
It's really unfair that someone is that pretty in the morning. But maybe I'm just a bit biased.
"Did you seriously push me off the damn couch?"
"Yep, that's exactly what I did. Got a problem with that?"
I just huffed and stood up; running my hand through my hair hoping Jade doesn't say anything about our sleeping arrangement earlier, but my hopes were immediately squashed when Jade cleared her throat.
"So, I woke up and you were spooning me." She says and I faced her.
I hope my face isn't as red as I'm imagining it right now.
"Uh, yeah. I woke up with my arm around you and I was too sleepy and comfortable to move. Sorry."
"No, no. it's fine. I was just caught off guard. For a minute I thought yesterday didn't happen and he was the person hugging me…" she trailed off her face falling and once again i felt a tightening in my chest and had this sudden urge to just run out of the room.
Of course, she misses him, I thought rationally. The marriage fiasco was just yesterday and she was obviously not over it. That is normal, you're expecting it.
But that didn't stop me from being hurt though. Stupid feelings.
"Soo, are you going to talk to them today?"
"Yeah, I guess. I've been cooped up inside here for too long they might start to think I've done something stupid due to extreme sadness."
"You look totally fine to me." I only realize the double meaning of my words when Jade suddenly smirked at me with the familiar teasing glint in her eyes.
"You should lay off with the flirting for now Vega. I just got left at the altar yesterday, people are gonna think that you're taking advantage of my imbalanced emotions."
I tried to ignore the fact that she said for now like there is a real possibility.
It's just a slip of words and she didn't mean it like that. You convince yourself.
"Please, you've been mentally imbalanced since we're sixteen. I don't think that would be any issue."
"Watch it Vega."
"Why don't you make me, West?"
"Are you sure you're alright Jadey?" Cat asks her again. She didn't change over the years; she still has red velvet hair and her innocent childlike voice.
Though she matured and now speaks with much more sense, she still has that innocence that make me want to hug and protect her from the rest of the cruel world.
But now she's the one comforting Jade, which is completely normal, they've been best friends longer than I have known Jade so it's obvious that she's worried about her.
I was a bit surprised about why Jade hung out with me and not run to Cat in her time of sadness but some part of me, a very tiny part that I worked so hard to forget reminds me that it's no real surprise. It's not the first time she did that.
"Yes Cat, I'm fine. I'm just gonna hang out here for a while. Y'know, clear my head." Jade assures her.
"Okay, call me when you need to alright? I'm going to get back home with Robbie. Our work starts on Monday." Cat says as she gave Jade a hug and parts with a little wave.
As we watch their car leave André walks towards us with his hands in his pockets. "Hey you guys. Jade, you alright?" he asks a bit hesitantly.
It's obvious that his fear of Jade hasn't gone off completely even after all these years.
"I'm fine André, well as fine as anyone could be under these circumstances." Jade says and André just smiles.
"Yeah, that's good I guess." He sighs "I just feel all weird about all this. Who knew Beck could do something like this? I thought you guys were permanent, yknow, forever and stuff."
I didn't fail to catch the small wince Jade made when Beck's name was mentioned but I ignored it.
"Yeah, well, me too… I thought so too." Jade says quietly.
A silence fell and I cleared my throat to diffuse it.
"Um, so I guess we should get going?" Andre asks and looked at me.
I nod and start to follow his retreating form. I glanced back at Jade who was heading back at the beach house. The sight of her slumped down like that and imagining her alone inside that big house made me stop on my tracks.
I barely finished knocking at the door when Jade opened it.
"Vega? What are you still doing here? I thought you left with André?"
"Yeah, well I told him I'll catch the next week's flight. I wanna make sure you wouldn't bore yourself to death here."
She opens the door wider so I could go inside. I want to make this easy, like yesterday, like two friends just hanging out but Jade has a different plan in mind.
"Now tell me why you're really here."
I just looked at her with a slight smile and said,
"The same reason as always."
A/N: This is the 3rd time I posted this. It's 3am here and I'm tired as eff. I had so many mistakes on the first one (my tenses and such) so I had to rewrite it. Thank you for the reviewer who pointed out those mistakes to me, I greatly appreciate it and it meant a lot to get constructive criticism like that. Especially that this isn't my first language and I really want to be better in this, so I kinda love you.