I was inspired by James Joyce's story "Ulysses" to create something
similar. No question, it's a very fun book to read. Some vocabulary may be
a qua bit too...British for one's taste (lol), but nonetheless, it's an
interesting story to read. the "stream-of-consciousness" concept is
emphasized in most of the book. You actually read the minds of the
characters. My favorite is the last chapter in the book, "Penelope." This
little vignette is based on that. Enjoy.
**************** P.e.n.e.l.o.p.e. Chapter 1 iluvu
im cool o yeah im so cool and then i say to myself girl you are a recluse who shops all day eats drinks sleeps and never has time for an edumacation well i say thats okay because i believe that a girl doesnt need an education in order to survive i mean look at me im a 15 year old girl that acts the part so well i wear nothing i sing at the karaoke bars whenever possible cuz thats what i do sing at the karaoke bars well actually im not necessarily that good of a singer but it try my friends think im a basket case for wasting my money i say fuck them they dont know me they cant have me i live in the azabu juuban district of minato ward in tokyo minato ward is one of the most popular and most famous of all the wards in tokyo thats a microcosmo of todays japanese culture in minato ward which we call minatoku got it minatoku theres a lot to see and do out there im not kidding you can eat takoyaki dance at the parapara clubs eat ice cream play arcades buy cool clothes read manga upon manga sing karaoke oops i added that again but seriously its a veddy veddy kewl place i recommend it to everyone see i recommend it to everyone who wants to come to tokyo and free themselves up im a crybaby sometimes i dont deny it cause thats what i am a girl that likes to get the attention any day any way ladidadida i mean i cry at the little things i cry at the big things i cry at the happy things i just cry cry i just cry cause thats what girls do they cry cause theyre innocent they cry cause they want to be loved i cry because im a bit naive even though i dont know what that is i wont deny it im a bit ditzy what americans call a dumb blonde i kinda dont know the world around me you can say im a bit dense cause that how i am dense dense densedensedense thats how i am for some reason i feel so much a girl when i dont know the world around me i hate the realities of having to live this life this harshness the troubles that have to plague and torment this world for what its worth says my teachers i cant help but act like a basket case at times or so my friends say im a bit weird really they say that im serious they do im not a basket case never am i im just act the way i am they say im a spoiled brat at times whining wanting more and more and more and more and moreandmoreandmoreandmoreandmoreandmore until i cant have any more which probably wont happen cause i still want moreandmoreandmoreandmore im not kidding. thats my nature and i stick by it i chase idols i love idols if i could sleep with every idol in the world id do it cause id just do it. like theres this cool hunk that comes to my school his names hideki hes got long soft brownblackgrayish hair and like hes so damn cute and i like say to himi hey hirokikuuuun how about giving me a peck on the cheek so he says to me come here honey lifts me high high above the floohoor and gives me a pick on the cheek and drops me down everyones like laughing at me saying hey usagi whats with one of the hunks at school dropping you like a rock and everyones like laughing and i say man shut up i hate you all and pouting like a young kewl girl shouls i head to the girls room and bawl my eyes out theres this one guy i love to hate his names mamoru and hes a bit of a sleazebag playboy i mean look at him hes tall like 19 or 20 years old a hunk can throw darts but he actsd a bit sheepish to me as if hes some sorta stalker or something and i says what the fuck why do you have to do that stuff to me and he says cause your a clutz odango atama which means dumpling head i hate being called a dumpling head i didn't think that was some sorta endearment thingy or something but he though so irked i went off lemme tell you a little story of what i saw the other day there was like this weird cat actually it was a stuffed cat a plushie as the american slangua parkay says it to be well okay so this cat plushie was talking at that moment i was acting like a complete basket case again so my friends say i fleed headed off to class cause you see im a bit late to class again like ive been the past few months latelatelaterlatelatelate again and again andagain ive been that way my mother whos a really good homemaker and office lady entrepreneur person gets pretty mad when she says to me hey what with the bad grades likewise for my homeroom eacher harunasensei who says to be hey tsukino whats with the bad grades youre on a losing streak yoiu need to study more and do your homework that is something i dont do at all nopenopenopenopenopenope cause i hate doing that stufstuffstuffstuffstuff im serious hate doing that its a pain in the ass so im like stuck heading home with this thrity out of hundred on my quiz and mamoru comes out and says to me hey odango atama quit being such a ditzy dumb blonde i said to him out of venting frustration just shut up already and i head home actually my house a two maybe three kilometres from school oh by the way the name of my school is juuban junior high its ones that very rich in tradition im not kidding theres a lot of famous people which i cant name cause i dont know that came out of juuban junior high okay so i head home and theres my mom saying how are you my little pumpkin i says fine just fine mom and then my mom sees my crumpled up test grade and says to me thirty out of hundred many get the fuck outta here you dont deserve to be in this house with those types of grades after bawling my eyes out for the hundred gazillionth time i come back in slumping in my room oh by the way out here everyones talking about theis sailor v video game sailor v is this cool girl about my age maybe younger that basically beats up the bad guys and does a damn good job at it i mean this girls so hot so sexy and she runs pretty fast really she's so fast she makes me look like a turtle i like running too ghives me a gooood exercise so back to wehat i was like saying sailor vs so hot and cute and perfect in every way that i am envious im so jealous of her having a lucky lifestyle a happy one thats why theres a video- game dedicated to her oh yeah speaking of whichwhatwhoever i was saying i head to the crown arcade center every so often the owner of this arcade center is furuhata motoki san who i just call niisan cause hes like an onlder brother so- happy and friendly hes kinda kakkoii too so i just want to point that out but at the crown arcade center there are so many arcade machines and ufo catcher machines and bemani machines you know what a bemani machine is well let me explain these bemani machines are like simulator machines in which you dance on pads wave your arms bang on drums basically they are simulators that double as video game machines i mess around with them every so often but really i like the sailor v game machine its so cool and i get prizes and stuff for getting hi scores on it niisan rocks and so does the crown arcade center if you though i meant the car sorry dont know how to drive boohoohoo theres another friend of mine names osaka naru who i just call naruchan now naruchan also has a cool easy demeanor and her mother owns this jewelrry store in minatoku and these are real jewelry no fakes no synthetics the real thing at an affordable price shes also smart too okay then so im in my room sulking and i see that same talking plushie cat thingy in my room im beyond paranoid right now how in the world can a plushie cat thingy talk im too young to have a nervous breakdown right now. so i say to the plushie how the hell can you talk and sheherits like you have to transform into a sailor soldier and i said to the plushie what the heck is that it says ill just call it it for now okay so it says there is a new wave of evil that is taking energy and killing innocent civilians its called the dark kingdom and they are lead by queen beryl you must stop them still traumatized i falls asleep i have no idea whats going on nor do i care and it says to me naw maybe ill just call it she for now okay so she says you have to transform into sailormoon the plush cat also says my name is luna im your guardian cat okay so i have a plush toy cat named luna that is actually my guardian oh my god i feel like im going to crack up an inaminate toy is actually my guardian wish i went to church more so she shows me a brooch that I wear she tells me to hold it high and say moon prism power make up so i do what she says and i turn into this gaudily dressed buffon in a abbereviated sailor suit, and all with tiara and everything tacky and i say to myself oh my god they is me i look like a basket case okay then again basket case doesnt by itslef define my new look if i was able to laugh at myself i could but i lack the heart to do so only cry and freak out at myself with my new look any everything gaudy i set off for downtown azabu juuban where theres this monster that was once narus mom but is actually what luna calls a youma a type of monster from the dark kingdom its so freakin hideous i have courage though or a semblance of it i stand on a lightpost i can acutally do that and say i am sailormoon tsuki ni kawatte oshioki yo which means in the name of the moon ill punish you serously i didin't think i was able to do that cause the youma cornered me after i got tosed around and around, my knee skinned a bit i bawled my eyes out again and it got so loud that the monster was getting blinded by the overexaggeratedf acoustics of it all and then this guy comes up to me and says now use you tiara and say moon tiara action now he was referring to this thing on my head so I take it say the words and throw it towards the youma turning it into dust and then the guy shows himself his names tuxedo kamen and he wears a white domino, top cate, tuxedo of course and cape and holds a cane he says good job and walks off forgive my loveydoveyness agin but i get hearts in my eyes and devolve into a pile of mushy goo with no objections i head home but i am so lovestruck by someone so hot and so kakkoii the next day i fall asleep again all that work calls for a huge chunk of rest and floating and thats how it all started thats how i became the one the only sailormoon i need to take a rest now goodnight.
**************** End Chapter 1 Give me your thoughts on this everyone...I know it sounds like it's in need of a punctuation overhaul, but that adds to the charm of the story. Feedback is good, flames will be used to fuel Rei's fire in Hikawa.
**************** P.e.n.e.l.o.p.e. Chapter 1 iluvu
im cool o yeah im so cool and then i say to myself girl you are a recluse who shops all day eats drinks sleeps and never has time for an edumacation well i say thats okay because i believe that a girl doesnt need an education in order to survive i mean look at me im a 15 year old girl that acts the part so well i wear nothing i sing at the karaoke bars whenever possible cuz thats what i do sing at the karaoke bars well actually im not necessarily that good of a singer but it try my friends think im a basket case for wasting my money i say fuck them they dont know me they cant have me i live in the azabu juuban district of minato ward in tokyo minato ward is one of the most popular and most famous of all the wards in tokyo thats a microcosmo of todays japanese culture in minato ward which we call minatoku got it minatoku theres a lot to see and do out there im not kidding you can eat takoyaki dance at the parapara clubs eat ice cream play arcades buy cool clothes read manga upon manga sing karaoke oops i added that again but seriously its a veddy veddy kewl place i recommend it to everyone see i recommend it to everyone who wants to come to tokyo and free themselves up im a crybaby sometimes i dont deny it cause thats what i am a girl that likes to get the attention any day any way ladidadida i mean i cry at the little things i cry at the big things i cry at the happy things i just cry cry i just cry cause thats what girls do they cry cause theyre innocent they cry cause they want to be loved i cry because im a bit naive even though i dont know what that is i wont deny it im a bit ditzy what americans call a dumb blonde i kinda dont know the world around me you can say im a bit dense cause that how i am dense dense densedensedense thats how i am for some reason i feel so much a girl when i dont know the world around me i hate the realities of having to live this life this harshness the troubles that have to plague and torment this world for what its worth says my teachers i cant help but act like a basket case at times or so my friends say im a bit weird really they say that im serious they do im not a basket case never am i im just act the way i am they say im a spoiled brat at times whining wanting more and more and more and more and moreandmoreandmoreandmoreandmoreandmore until i cant have any more which probably wont happen cause i still want moreandmoreandmoreandmore im not kidding. thats my nature and i stick by it i chase idols i love idols if i could sleep with every idol in the world id do it cause id just do it. like theres this cool hunk that comes to my school his names hideki hes got long soft brownblackgrayish hair and like hes so damn cute and i like say to himi hey hirokikuuuun how about giving me a peck on the cheek so he says to me come here honey lifts me high high above the floohoor and gives me a pick on the cheek and drops me down everyones like laughing at me saying hey usagi whats with one of the hunks at school dropping you like a rock and everyones like laughing and i say man shut up i hate you all and pouting like a young kewl girl shouls i head to the girls room and bawl my eyes out theres this one guy i love to hate his names mamoru and hes a bit of a sleazebag playboy i mean look at him hes tall like 19 or 20 years old a hunk can throw darts but he actsd a bit sheepish to me as if hes some sorta stalker or something and i says what the fuck why do you have to do that stuff to me and he says cause your a clutz odango atama which means dumpling head i hate being called a dumpling head i didn't think that was some sorta endearment thingy or something but he though so irked i went off lemme tell you a little story of what i saw the other day there was like this weird cat actually it was a stuffed cat a plushie as the american slangua parkay says it to be well okay so this cat plushie was talking at that moment i was acting like a complete basket case again so my friends say i fleed headed off to class cause you see im a bit late to class again like ive been the past few months latelatelaterlatelatelate again and again andagain ive been that way my mother whos a really good homemaker and office lady entrepreneur person gets pretty mad when she says to me hey what with the bad grades likewise for my homeroom eacher harunasensei who says to be hey tsukino whats with the bad grades youre on a losing streak yoiu need to study more and do your homework that is something i dont do at all nopenopenopenopenopenope cause i hate doing that stufstuffstuffstuffstuff im serious hate doing that its a pain in the ass so im like stuck heading home with this thrity out of hundred on my quiz and mamoru comes out and says to me hey odango atama quit being such a ditzy dumb blonde i said to him out of venting frustration just shut up already and i head home actually my house a two maybe three kilometres from school oh by the way the name of my school is juuban junior high its ones that very rich in tradition im not kidding theres a lot of famous people which i cant name cause i dont know that came out of juuban junior high okay so i head home and theres my mom saying how are you my little pumpkin i says fine just fine mom and then my mom sees my crumpled up test grade and says to me thirty out of hundred many get the fuck outta here you dont deserve to be in this house with those types of grades after bawling my eyes out for the hundred gazillionth time i come back in slumping in my room oh by the way out here everyones talking about theis sailor v video game sailor v is this cool girl about my age maybe younger that basically beats up the bad guys and does a damn good job at it i mean this girls so hot so sexy and she runs pretty fast really she's so fast she makes me look like a turtle i like running too ghives me a gooood exercise so back to wehat i was like saying sailor vs so hot and cute and perfect in every way that i am envious im so jealous of her having a lucky lifestyle a happy one thats why theres a video- game dedicated to her oh yeah speaking of whichwhatwhoever i was saying i head to the crown arcade center every so often the owner of this arcade center is furuhata motoki san who i just call niisan cause hes like an onlder brother so- happy and friendly hes kinda kakkoii too so i just want to point that out but at the crown arcade center there are so many arcade machines and ufo catcher machines and bemani machines you know what a bemani machine is well let me explain these bemani machines are like simulator machines in which you dance on pads wave your arms bang on drums basically they are simulators that double as video game machines i mess around with them every so often but really i like the sailor v game machine its so cool and i get prizes and stuff for getting hi scores on it niisan rocks and so does the crown arcade center if you though i meant the car sorry dont know how to drive boohoohoo theres another friend of mine names osaka naru who i just call naruchan now naruchan also has a cool easy demeanor and her mother owns this jewelrry store in minatoku and these are real jewelry no fakes no synthetics the real thing at an affordable price shes also smart too okay then so im in my room sulking and i see that same talking plushie cat thingy in my room im beyond paranoid right now how in the world can a plushie cat thingy talk im too young to have a nervous breakdown right now. so i say to the plushie how the hell can you talk and sheherits like you have to transform into a sailor soldier and i said to the plushie what the heck is that it says ill just call it it for now okay so it says there is a new wave of evil that is taking energy and killing innocent civilians its called the dark kingdom and they are lead by queen beryl you must stop them still traumatized i falls asleep i have no idea whats going on nor do i care and it says to me naw maybe ill just call it she for now okay so she says you have to transform into sailormoon the plush cat also says my name is luna im your guardian cat okay so i have a plush toy cat named luna that is actually my guardian oh my god i feel like im going to crack up an inaminate toy is actually my guardian wish i went to church more so she shows me a brooch that I wear she tells me to hold it high and say moon prism power make up so i do what she says and i turn into this gaudily dressed buffon in a abbereviated sailor suit, and all with tiara and everything tacky and i say to myself oh my god they is me i look like a basket case okay then again basket case doesnt by itslef define my new look if i was able to laugh at myself i could but i lack the heart to do so only cry and freak out at myself with my new look any everything gaudy i set off for downtown azabu juuban where theres this monster that was once narus mom but is actually what luna calls a youma a type of monster from the dark kingdom its so freakin hideous i have courage though or a semblance of it i stand on a lightpost i can acutally do that and say i am sailormoon tsuki ni kawatte oshioki yo which means in the name of the moon ill punish you serously i didin't think i was able to do that cause the youma cornered me after i got tosed around and around, my knee skinned a bit i bawled my eyes out again and it got so loud that the monster was getting blinded by the overexaggeratedf acoustics of it all and then this guy comes up to me and says now use you tiara and say moon tiara action now he was referring to this thing on my head so I take it say the words and throw it towards the youma turning it into dust and then the guy shows himself his names tuxedo kamen and he wears a white domino, top cate, tuxedo of course and cape and holds a cane he says good job and walks off forgive my loveydoveyness agin but i get hearts in my eyes and devolve into a pile of mushy goo with no objections i head home but i am so lovestruck by someone so hot and so kakkoii the next day i fall asleep again all that work calls for a huge chunk of rest and floating and thats how it all started thats how i became the one the only sailormoon i need to take a rest now goodnight.
**************** End Chapter 1 Give me your thoughts on this everyone...I know it sounds like it's in need of a punctuation overhaul, but that adds to the charm of the story. Feedback is good, flames will be used to fuel Rei's fire in Hikawa.