Title: Affirmation
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Rating: R for very graphic content.
Summary: Set during and after "The Killing Game" - "What if something more happened in the holodecks then what we were shown?"
Dedications: To my girl Sherry for her love and her beta-ing skills.
P.S. My first Voyager fic so be gentle but somehow brash at the same time…okay??
****
The thunderous sound of bombs exploding and gunfire resounded in her ears, sending round upon round of chills down her spine. The sound of war bombarded the small group of four huddled on the floor of the French club. Seven peered wearily at her counterparts. None of them were armed, their only advantage being her and Tuvok's superior strength. Turning to gaze at her captors sheathed in metallic armor, she absentmindedly noticed how they clashed against the early 19th century setting. Mentally shaking the thought from her mind, she stared down one of the weapon barrels and knew that even with her and Tuvok they stood no chance against the staggering and overpowering Hirogan.
Resigning herself to the obvious, her attention turned to a holographic Nazi officer as he began to complain of boredom. Disgust rolled through her as he tried to convince the Alpha Hirogan to kill her and the others. The Hirogan griped to his commanding officer over the comms before turning to the hologram.
Glaring tightly at the hologram, the Hirogan snapped, "Maybe you would enjoy some entertainment?"
The hologram's mouth opened to respond but was cut short as the Hirogan advanced on the group seated on the floor. Seven's whole body tensed as he grew close and an irrational fear swept through her. Tuvok sensed the change in her demeanor quickly and quirked a brow.
"You," he peered at Seven maliciously. "Sing." The demanding tone in his voice left no room for argument.
Seven's heartbeat quickened and for the first time since her separation from the collective she felt true, uninhibited fear sink to her very bones. The sensation confused her, the reasoning for it eluding her. True to form, she pushed the emotion back and ignored the Hirogan's tone, spewing back, "No."
Growing angrier, he almost growled, "You will sing or you will die." He pulled his holographic gun from its holster to emphasize his intent.
Pushing herself onto her feet, she squared her shoulders and stared him down, "Then I will die."
Tuvok jumped to his feet and, ever the man of reason, spoke, "Seven, you are a valued member of this crew, your death would be illogical."
Without breaking eye contact with the Hirogan, she claimed coldly, "Logic is irrelevant." Her stomach knotted but she ignored it. "The Borg will one day assimilate your species and when they do, think of me," she seethed. The Hirogan before her brought forth feelings she couldn't decipher.
His face hardened at her impassioned speech. A snarl and a loud click of a cocking gun cracked through the stale air. As his finger started to tighten, both Tom and B'Elanna jumped to their feet.
Out of nowhere, the commanding Hirogan's voice came over the comms calling a cease-fire and just like it had started, it stopped. However reluctant, the Hirogan allowed his 'prey' to leave. Seven led the way out of the club, casting a quick glance back at the tyrant before stepping out into the night.
****
Pain seared through her arm, starting at the enhanced hand and cascading up her shoulder. Perched atop a bio-bed, she waited patiently as the Doctor tended to other wounded crewmembers. Though the cease-fire hadn't lasted long, they were once again back in control. Pulling her tender arm to her chest, her mind wondered back to the holodeck once more. With vivid detail she remembered the bullet pierce her flesh, shredding the metallic implants encased around her hand. She remembered the fire that spread torturously through her body as her Borg wiring was severed and she collided with the dirt-ridden floor. She felt the callused hands of the Hirogan as they pulled her roughly from the ground and dragged her away. The sound of a gun going off resonated in her mind once more as if it were happening in real time.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she re-watched 'his' body fall from the floors above. His limbs flailed as gravity did its job, propelling him toward his dusty demise. The same relief that swept over her at the very moment he rammed into the ground, washed over her again. It was unexplainable yet undeniable at the same time. Something started to overwhelm her senses and tear at her emotions. An itch at the corner of her eye made her snap them open. Raising her hand, she brushed at the corner. Pulling away, she ignored the wetness that lay on her fingertips.
"Seven?" the Doctor said as he approached her side, concerned.
"Doctor," she acknowledged him dryly. "I am in need of medical assistance."
"I know, sorry it took me so long," he apologized gently and guided her across the room to the main bio-bed.
She pulled herself onto the bed, allowing the Doctor to help. Soundlessly, the Doctor went to work scanning her wound.
"Lie down please," he ordered.
She obliged, gently lowering herself down.
"I'm going to have to inject you with a local anaesthetic to repair the wound," he advised softly, namely to himself. She just lay there and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for him to finish so she could get back to work and aid in rebuilding the ship. She felt the prick and frowned at the loss of sensation in her arm but let it pass. Time seemed to still as he worked at repairing the damage that the lead bullet had done.
"All done," he chirped. "I suggest you let it rest for a few days, but I know you won't listen so you're free to go back to work," he mumbled lightheartedly as Seven sat up.
"The ship is severely damaged, even if I wanted to... rest... I have work to do."
"I understand, just take it easy," he assured her.
"Of course, thank you." Hesitating for a second, she started to leave.
"Seven," the Doctor called to her.
"Yes?" She paused before the door.
He stared at her, trying to gauge the look in her eyes. There was something hiding there though he wasn't quite sure what that was. "Just try to rest sooner than later."
She seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding and leaving the Sickbay.
****
Kathryn placed the cover back on the console she'd just repaired and sighed a breath of relief. Two weeks had passed since their encounter with the Hirogan and everyone was still hard at work making the necessary repairs. All of the corridors along with most of the extra holo-emitters were cleaned up. The holodecks were another story all together. Most of the senior staff and the engineering staff had been working nonstop just to fix the gaping hole that had exposed floors of the ship, some more literally then others. She watched as Seven lifted yet another piece of debris from the diminishing pile and placed it on a mobile crate. Wiping at her brow, she moved towards the weathered woman.
"Hey," she smiled warmly, lending a hand with a larger piece.
"Captain," was her sole reply.
Kathryn frowned. It seemed all she got from the woman was one word replies. If she didn't know Seven as well as she did, she'd have thought nothing of it, but she knew Seven and she knew something was wrong. Throwing caution to the wind, she asked, "How are you doing today?"
"I am unharmed."
Short and curt, again. "Are you really? Or is that just your standard response of the day?"
Placing the large piece on the crate, she turned to Kathryn with a quirked brow. "Captain?"
Sighing, she elaborated, "You just don't seem... unharmed."
"The last two weeks have been restless," she stated the fact, trying to detour the conversation.
"I know, it has been for all of us. It just seems to be hitting you a little harder then the rest." She once again tried to get Seven to open up but could tell the moment she opened her mouth she was getting nowhere.
"I apologize, I will do better."
"No, no. Seven it's okay to be feeling the way you do…"
Seven cut her off defensively. "I feel nothing," she stated matter-of-factly, lying through her teeth.
Kathryn rolled her eyes, "When's the last time you regenerated?"
There was a long pause before she admitted, "I have not."
Kathryn's eyes bugged out, "Tell me you don't mean you haven't since the Hirogan left?"
"That... is what I mean."
"Seven!" she cried, shaking her head. "Go. Now," she ordered.
"I cannot." Seven remained stoic, her face calm but her eyes gave her away.
Giving the younger woman a stern glare, Kathryn calmed herself a little and said, "We have more than enough hands around here to help. One less pair won't make that much of a difference."
Glancing down at the floor, Seven's head dropped and Kathryn's curiosity peeked.
"What is it?" Concern littered across her words and she took a small step closer to the somewhat distraught woman. It was unsettling for the Captain, having never seen her normally collected friend act in such a manor.
"I... have, as of yet, been unsuccessful," she confessed with a hint of embarrassment. "The Doctor recommended Chamomile Tea but it too was unsuccessful. He cannot find anything wrong with me, yet I am still unable to regenerate."
Kathryn listened silently and thought pensively before replying. "Have you tried to sleep?"
The suggestion seemed to disturb her even more. "I am Borg, I do not sleep."
Kathryn shook her head and bent down to pick up another piece of rubble. "You're more human then you'd like to admit, Seven."
Seven ignored the comment and continued to pick up debris and place it on the crate.
Before she could, Kathryn grabbed her arm. "Go. If you can't sleep at least go eat something."
"I do not require nutrients," she rebuked defiantly. With a stern but gentle look from her Captain, she knew arguing would be futile. Unwillingly, she did as she was told, leaving the sanctuary and order that came with working. Mutely, she made her way down the halls. She never did get something to eat, instead making her way to Astrometrics.
Peering up at the black screen, she stared at the star chart. Their set course was a meager one, weaving around M class planets so as to defer from other civilizations. The condition Voyager was in made even the slightest possibility for conflict that much less desirable. It was a superstitious idea and in her mind an insufficient use of energy. But once again, her input was waved aside.
Anger, the one emotion she was truly comfortable with, coursed through her. Even with the ship in its hindered condition, she was still restricted from access to the major systems. Being forced to ask for permission was increasingly becoming a nuisance. Heaving a tempered sigh, her exhaustion started to make itself more prominent. A dizzy spell hit her hard and she stumbled into the console before her. Slipping to the floor, she allowed her legs to stretch out and leaned heavily against the wall under the console.
Her hand ached in waves spiraling up her arm and resonating in her temporal lobe. Never before had she felt this exhausted, this completely and utterly tired. The Captain's suggestion of sleep was starting to seem much more feasible from her spot on the floor and before she knew it her eyes fluttered shut and her body went lax, slipping to the floor. Sleep consumed her and opened her up to the world of dreams and nightmares.
TBC