26 Reasons Why…
Nudge: so this first one is a song-fic based on the song "Breathe" by Paramore and of course it is filled with Fax! So this is my version of what should/could have happened when Fang tried to leave the flock back in the 6th book. (and I apologize in advance if it switches POV a lot)
*disclaimer: I don't in any way own Maximum Ride or "Breathe" I am only just an obsessed fan of both…..
Chapter 1: Another Way is Always There
Max's POV
I locked the door to my room and sat down at my desk pulling out a single sheet of paper and a pen. Today was the day and I was finally going to do it. I couldn't take this type of torture anymore, it was all just too much. Never before did I notice it but, when he was with me my life became just a little more bearable. But now…I constantly feel like I'm drowning.
Every fake smile I manage to pull over my lips and every breath I take trying to convince both myself and the flock that everything will be ok is just wearing me down.
I climb, I slip, I fall
Reaching for your hands
But I lay here all alone
Sweating all your blood
If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love
And I, I will
I couldn't think, eat, or do anything anymore without feeling as if my heart were being ripped out of my chest. The flock didn't need me like this and it was only a matter if time before I completely cracked.
I stared down at the paper finally sure of what I wanted to do and the tears began to fall as my shaky hand scribbled the words onto the scrap of paper.
Dear flock, mom, and Ella,
I really have no way to explain this so it makes sense so, I guess I'll just have to try my best… You know how they say Rome was once a huge empire. It covered most of the globe and was more powerful than anything the world had ever seen. And somehow they managed to be reduced into a small, little city.
It's because of this I think I should be named after Rome…
You all had to have known this was coming. I used to be so strong and undefeatable. Now. I'm nothing and will never be anything without Fang him.
I angrily crossed out the word, learning for the billionth time how hard it was to even write it out without the accompaniment of an excessive flow of tears. Then I began to write out my last words with a trembling hand and a stream of tears that repeatedly crashed down onto the paper before me.
Now I'm just the little city that used to resemble who I was. These past few weeks I've been trying to make it work but….i just can't. I'm dying. And I can't stop it and now I just don't want to anymore. So this is my goodbye. I love you guys more than you could ever know so don't you dare spend anytime sulking, this was just my time to go.
Love,
Max
P.S. If you guys ever see him again…try to convince him it wasn't all his fault.
Fang's POV
As of right now I found myself flying over the forest not to far from the flock. I was only about 50 miles off but it felt like an eternity. And for that reason I also discovered that I was bound to this area, almost as if an invisible shield were keeping me here.
It had been almost a month since I left the flock and quite frankly I had no clue what I was doing. Every single moment of everyday I missed them. And to be more specific her. I couldn't help it. Her picture was burned into my mind with perfect clarity. Her strawberry blonde hair, her perfectly unique wings that secretly took my breath away every time she flew, even the way her chocolate colored eyes almost seemed to change color when ever she was mad. For the life of me I couldn't take that picture out of my head and I don't ever think I want to.
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe there's another way
Silence. That was all that filled the air around me. It was something that I never even imagined was possible while flying. I could always hear the wings of my flock beating somewhere behind me like a signal telling me everything was fine. But now…there was nothing. Nothing was there to tell me that my world was centered and right side up. Nothing to whisper to me 'Fang, you have no need to worry'. Nothing telling me I had a reason to live.
But what the silence did bring was worry. A sense screaming that my world was about to take a drastic change. One that I could never reverse, and that was all it took. I needed to see her. Just one more time to make sure she was ok. And then. Just maybe then I could leave with something close to a clear conscience.
So I turned around without a second thought and flew in direction of my flock.
Max's POV
I climb, I slip, I fall
Reaching for your hands
But I lay here all alone
Sweating all your blood
For days I had secretly been contemplating how I would do this. If I hung myself I might get nervous and mess something up and drowning was just too messy in general, not to mention the possibilities of Angel or Gazzy, God forbid, ever finding my body….
So I decided pills were the best way. I snuck a bottle from my mom's emergency medicine bag and hid them in my room days ago. They were labeled something along the lines of Fentanyl. The only thing I had left to wait for now was the nerve to finally use them.
I scooted away from my desk and stood up; bringing my note over the nightstand, exactly where I knew someone would find it. Then I went over to the dresser and pulled out the pills from the hiding place all the way in the far back right corner.
Holding them in my hand felt like power. As if at last I had control over my life and what was going to happen to it was only at my discretion. And now. The pain would soon be over.
Tears were silently streaming down my face and my hand was violently trembling as it undid the bottles small white cap.
If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love
And I, I will
Fang's POV
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe there's another way
I could feel it strong as ever now, it became a loud pulsating crash inside of me that screamed something was wrong. I was only about a mile away now but no matter what I did it was never close enough and I was never quick enough. Yet my wings were sore with how hard I was forcing them to fly, any more speed and I was sure they would fall off. But I couldn't begin to think of how much that didn't matter.
Half a mile.
As the forest below began to slowly clear up I felt it even more. Every inch closer I got it grew and now there was no doubt that something wasn't right.
I finally saw the house come into view in the distance and before I knew exactly where I was headed I was there, staring straight at Max's window on the side of the house. It was all out of my control now, I was flying full force towards that small window that had to have held her. Before I knew that little transparent portal grew larger and larger and I now could almost see into the room. I was frantic, straining myself to keep from screaming out her name. And then I saw.
She was standing in the middle of the room holding something I couldn't exactly make out and I immediately felt a wave of uncontrollable joy wash over my emotions. But that soon faded as I flew closer. Now I saw wet streaks running down the sides of her face creating small rivers flowing from her eyes and I couldn't help but try and push my wings to fly faster. Then I could finally see exactly what she was holding. Her hands opened a small bright orange bottle and emptied its contents onto her hand. They were pills. And if I knew anything about her it was that she never took any type of medicine.
But it just didn't add up. She wouldn't be. And then it became clear as day and that warning screeching in my heart finally gave itself a name. I was about to loose my Max.
Max's POV
My hand poured the pills into my hand, feeling their weightless power in my possession. I stared at the small pile not even bothering to count. It was now or never and I definitely needed my agony to be over. So with one last breath I took the pills in my hand and shoved them into my mouth at once, chasing them down with a glass of water I had waiting at my bedside.
I fell back onto my bed and closed my eyes, feeling the pills begin to fall down my throat. It was done. All I could do now was wait for death to whisk me away from this world.
Fang's POV
I saw her begin to shove the pills into her mouth and fall back onto her bed. But that couldn't have been it, I just could not have been late. I didn't even bother to stop for a safe landing, instead I sped my way down and plowed through the open window and into the room.
"Max!" I screamed unable to hold it anymore. Her body was laying on the bed, limp and it looked as if she were gone. But I couldn't accept it. I refused to accept it. I picked her up from the bed and shook her, begging with every inch of my being for her to wake up. I brought her closer into my embrace and began basically pounding her back trying to do everything I could to get her back to me.
"Max! Please! Please don't do this!" I screamed at her praying that she would respond.
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe there's another way
"Is that Fang?" I heard Nudge say somewhere out in the hall way and soon the rest of the flock's voices followed. But I seriously could care less. Max. My Max was laying unconscious in my arms and no matter how much I pounded her back she wouldn't respond. And as if that weren't enough I could hear the flock on the other side of the wall screaming in alarm and pounding on the door, pleading for me to open it. Though that didn't exactly mean that I was going to stop trying.
"Maximum Ride! Dammit I love you too much for it to end like this! please! Just….please," I hugged her tighter beginning to feel a tear trickle down my face that had never once felt the wetness of a tear on its skin. But in the next moment I swore that I would never stop believing in miracles.
She coughed. Softly at first and then vigorously. She was coming back to me, my Max wasn't all gone.
I climb, I slip, I fall
Into your empty hands
But I lay here all alone
Sweating all your blood
"Max?" I screamed as she suddenly roared back to life coughing and finally spilling out the pills from her system. My hopes sprang back to life and finally I knew she would be fine.
"Fang?" I heard her say weakly almost in disbelief.
"Max it's me. I promise."
She looked up at my face and I saw the wet panes on her face that had almost dried overflow with fresh tears.
"Fang. You," she buried her face into my shirt and slithered her arms around my neck, clinging to me with everything she had, "You're here."
"Max, please don't ever do that to me again," I said letting my face sink into the long blonde hair I missed with a burning fire.
"But you left me," she said in a stubborn and Max-like fashion, letting me know that she was still every inch of my Maximum.
"And I'll never do it again. Just remember Max, there's always another way for me to be with you," I whispered just wrapping my mind around the fact that she was fine, "Always." I said again and squeezed her tighter deciding that it was a sheer impossibility for me to ever even think about leaving her again.
Nudge: so I hope you enjoyed the story! It's a bit dramatic so maybe the next chapter will be a bit more cheery. And I beg of you, pwease review!