A/N: Had an idea, just wanted to try it out. I was about to go to sleep, when BLAMO, story idea. Had to write it. Hmm probably some smut in the later chapters,definite Mary Sue death later on. Without further interruption, I give to you The Marvelous Adventures Of Miss Mary Sue, chapter one c: Enjoi.

'twas a normal day at Mordhaus. Well, at least for the boys. Over the past few months, Charles had been overloaded with paperwork, even more so than usual. He never had any time for his boys anymore, and they were getting into more trouble as a result. He decided, reluctantly, that he needed help.

But who? he thought to himself. It needed to be someone he could trust. Someone who he did trust. They needed to be able to protect his boys from danger if Charles himself couldn't be there (god forbid that ever happen), and smart enough to work them out of any tight jams that Dethklok may put themselves in. Someone who could break up Scandinavian squabbles, deal with temper tantrums, and help Toki if for some reason he became catatonic. And last but most certainly, definitely not least, someone who could withstand, er, Eau de Murderface. Eugh. Suddenly, the perfect person came to mind. Charles smiled inwardly. This was gonna be fun.

"Boys, I have an announcement." Charles waited for any sign that the boys had heard. When he came up with nothing, he simply continued.

"As you may recall, I have been very, ah, busy, lately. There will be someone coming here to Mordhaus to help me. Anything, any problem that you would normally come to me about, you will go to her inste-"

"Wait. Hold up. It'sch a lady?" Murderface interrupted.

He fixed his signature glare on The bassist. "Ah, yes. Yes she is. And don't even think about it, Murderface. She was trained in hand-to-hand as well as weapons close hand combat by the best."

His gaze turned to Skwisgaar. "Skwisgaar, don't try anything, either. She won't hesitate to hurt you because you're, ah, pretty."

"Well, is she hot?" Pickles inquired.

"Ahhhhh, She is a very attractive woman, yes. I believe you two were close, in your Snakes n' Barrels days. Her name is Amber Sandvik.

Pickles' mind automatically flew to a picture he kept. It was always in a little box in a false bottom of his nightstand. the picture was of a girl, young, maybe 17, with had luscious honey-coloured hair that cascaded down her back in a flurry of loose blonde strands, and A dazzlingly perfect smile among full, lush lips. An ice blue streak crossed through one of her otherwise chocolatey brown eyes. She was tipping a nearly empty battle of Jack Daniels to the camera, and her cheeks sported A healthy flush from the alcohol. One arm was slung around a completely hammered Pickles, who had just turned 18, and Tony was on her other side, planting a kiss on her cheek. A good deal of memory he lost in a haze of booze and drugs, but she seemed to stick out in his mind more than anyone else. She'd been smart, smarter than him (not that that's a large accomplishment), even though he'd met her at 15 and she had no formal education past age 12. She'd been completely badass, an amazing fighter. Once, when Bullets had picked a fight with four burly, angry, bikers at a bar and then been too drunk to actually do anything but stand there, she stepped in and put all four guys on the floor either in pain or unconscious in the blink of an eye. That was a riot, he chuckled to himself. If Pickles had had an amazing tolerance to alcohol, hers was simply inhuman. he remembered the times she'd stayed with him to make sure he didn't asphyxiate on his own vomit, when she would hold his hair and rub his back when he was puking, and wipe the streaming rivulets of eyeliner that would track down his face, all while fighting her own hangover. She was so sweet He remembered how after fights with his lover Tony, near the end of Snakes n Barrels, she would hold him and dry his tears and whisper words of comfort softly into his ears, sitting through his wails of despair, his tantrums, because every time Tony walked out, he was sure that it was the last.

He's not coming back this time, Amber. I just know it. Sammy and Snizzy won't find him, he'll overdose in an alley somewhere and die there, oh god!

He'll be okay, Pickles. He always is. If they din't find him, I'll look for him myself. I'll make sure that everyone comes home tonight, sweetie. Just try to sleep.

And he would somehow manage to sleep, while his best friend, his lover, was angry with him and maybe dying in an alley, and Oh god, I let it go there, again. Stupid douchebag brain!

"Pickle? Piiiiiiickle?"

He snapped back to reality. He was greeted with 5 pairs of eyes, their expressions concerned under a mask of feigned indifference. He shifted uncomfortably under the intense scrutiny.

"Dude, you were just sitting there smiling like an idiot for a while, and then you got all upset and far out and stuff."

"Oh, uh, sahrry Nat'en."

"Oh Pickle, she's comins here! To Mordhaus! Oh boy I can't waits to sees Amber again. We was friends as kids. She was de one whats gives to me Deddy bear!"

"..Theats cool, Toki."

"You are beings exiteds, too, Ja?"

" Heh. Yeah I am. She was great, a real riot to be around."

Charles chose that time to conclude the meeting.

"Well, with that announcement out of the way, I bid you good day. Oh, and she'll be here tomorrow." with that, Charles left.