This is the remake of Hit Man Host Club, seeing as it needed a lot of work and I didn't have the heart to just delete it yet, here we are with its re-edited version. Now the original will still be up for the time being, feel free to look back at it and laugh (or like it I suppose…). I finally have a (sorta) plot for this plotless plot bunny!

Possible OOC, cursing, abuse of teenagers via. one Reborn, and later yaoi. PLEASE NOTE THERE IS NO BETA FOR THIS STORY {SO YEAH SPELLING AND GRAMMER MISTAKES!} IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO BETA THIS PLEASE LET ME KNOW! My current beta is busy with college and I don't want to bother her too much.

Read at 3/4! Makes it a lot easier! :D

There were certain subjects a parent or a mentor was expected to discuss with a young child with the intention of preparing them for their miserable futures. Subjects ranged from cooking to marriage and the rights and wrongs of not handing in your homework. These subjects were "normal", taught and learned by "normal" families. Tsunayosi Sawada's family however, was not listed under this category.

Ever since he was a small child, Tsunayoshi had always doubted that his family was "normal". Although his parents weren't the ones that seemed totally strange, when he finally met family relatives, well, that was when he realized his family was strange or at least abnormal. At his seventh birthday one of his uncles decided it would be fun to shoot at empty soda cans with a shotgun. The whole ordeal had terrified the seven year-old and had ruined his favorite pair of pants with urine. It seemed after-wards the strange attitude towards supposedly illegal actions in his family was so lax Tsunayoshi thought he would go insane. It wasn't until recently that his once innocent childhood of gun wielding uncles had turned into a sour realization he would be the one wielding the guns.

This realization came in the form of a baby hit man, as ludicrous as it sounded, that arrived at his house one morning claiming he would be his home tutor from now on. At first Tsunayoshi had thought he was still dreaming, lingering in that drowsy state, until the baby-man sent him flying into the stairs with a gun. The damn baby had punched him with a gun, a man half his size actually knocked him off his feet! The teenager stared, mouth open in shock and eyes wide as dinner plates. Now he knew this wasn't a crazy messed up dream that was the result of watching too much T.V. The baby-man finally introduced himself as Reborn, sent by the ninth Vongola boss in order to whip the pathetic teen into a perfect boss.

Again Tsunayoshi could only accept this as a realistic dream and responded dumbly, "Boss for what…?" He'd received a nice new collection of purple bruises splotched over his body and on his forehead for asking such a stupid question.

"A mafia boss of course," was the cool and cold response Tsunayoshi had received before another blow was bestowed onto his head. "Now stop cowering like a baby and get up."

He had done just that. Within the year that Reborn had spent day after day, hour after hour to train Tsunayoshi, his mission was almost complete. Tsunayoshi had learned more than he ever thought he would in his life, within a year he'd learn how to fight, plan attacks, and gain the trust and obedience from future underlines. However, there was still one thing he felt was missing, who exactly was he surpassing? Why him? How did this ninth boss find him in the first place anyway?

Although he wanted to ask Reborn such things, he knew it wouldn't be wise to ask. Even if he was an idiot, he had enough common sense not to ask Reborn about the Vongola family, at least until the right moment came around. But even then Reborn would fall into a long silence and pick up where they had left off leaving the future boss with more questions. The brunette would look at himself in the mirror, put on a smile and say they'll be answered tomorrow for sure! with a sickening fake enthusiasm that he'd get a stomach ache at the thought of it.

Tomorrow I'll ask and tomorrow he'll give me my answers.

Tsunayoshi found himself shifting his weight from foot to foot as he anxiously waited for his tutor. Reborn hadn't given details to him when he was violently awoken from newly lit bombs, so it left the teenager nervous as to what the baby-man was planning. Anything the man planned scared him beyond belief…not that he would ever openly admit it. So here he stood, outside his house as he waited for something to show up.

"Sawada-sama?"

The brunette jumped from his spot in front of his house as a man dressed in a black suit approached him from the sidewalk. The man gave a small bow when he realized it was in fact was the intended target and slowly approached.

"Uh…c-can I help you with something?"

The man said nothing as he kneeled down in front of the teenager and in a swift motion, Tsuna found himself flung over the man's shoulder as he headed to a black car parked nearby. Completely off guard the teen could only let out a small, embarrassed gasp as he was lifted off the ground. He began to pound on the man's large back,

"Let me go! Help! RAPE!"

His small frame was thrown into the black car without hesitation, though the man did bow and mutter a small apology before slamming the door. Panicked, Tsuna rushed to the door to open it but as he assumed it was locked. He leaned back ready to kick down the door until he felt the ever-so familiar touch of a gun barrel to the side of his head.

"Calm down would you? All this loud noise is giving me a head ache."

The brunette almost cried out in happiness at the sound of his tutors voice…but then deflated as he came to a realization. If Reborn was here than that meant the black suited man was a mafia member…and he wasn't going to get out of whatever Reborn wanted him to do. He sat properly in the leather seats - after the man pulled his gun away - trying not to look his tutor in the eyes. Why couldn't the baby just tell him for once where they were going or what they were doing? It would make things so much simpler…

"Not even going to ask where you're going?" Although it was a question, to Tsuna it sounded more like a snide remark than a question. Of course he'd love to known where the hell he was going, didn't the baby-man understand that by now?

His eyes moved over to the window, "I wouldn't be able to get out of it anyway…"

Reborn snorted, "Still saying such weak remarks? I thought I'd taught you better…"

Tsuna's head was soon reacquainted with the gun's barrel as Reborn suddenly appeared next to the brunette. Swallowing the teen gave his tutor a small, nervous smile, "I mean…where are we going Reborn-san?"

No one outside the shiny black car could hear the screams that followed the innocent question. Only the slightly disturbed driver would ever walk away to tell the tale of how a baby nearly mutilated a teenage boy.

After Tsuna recovered from his brutal, yet oddly enough not all that bad, attack Reborn finally reveled their target location. The baby pressed a button, which in turn made a large screen fall from the roof of the car (Tsuna promptly spit out his drink wondering how the hell such a thing could exist). He cleared his throat and stared directly at Tsuna, almost as if he wished the boy would drop dead just by his stare.

"Listen up Dame-Tsuna because I won't say it again. You will be enrolled in Nami-Chuu one of the best schools that will shape you to becoming a better boss."

"Like…with my grades and stuff?"

A strange glint passed in the man's eyes and Tsuna wasn't sure if he liked that look or not. "…Let's go with that. Anyway before you rudely interrupted me, the school will whip you into shape and before you start complaining you've already been enrolled."

Tsuna's mouth dropped, "E-enrolled?" Exactly how many things has this baby-man been keeping from him? First it was the mafia family, then the reason why he was chosen and now why he had to go to this "best" school…it was like the baby wanted him dead! Sure his grades weren't the best and he may have been flunking middle school for a while but he was better now! He'd been a weak boy struggling to overcome life's everyday challenges. Now he found many things that were once difficult much easier from Reborn's training.

But it'd make sense if Reborn told him before hand…right? A sigh escaped his lips as he let Reborn take over the talking. There was no point to argue, this was just how the man was. He left no room for anyone to have their two cents.

"It's a pretty big school Dame-Tsuna but since you're my pupil…" the brunette swore he saw a murderous glint appear in those black eyes, "…I don't need to worry about your grades dropping right?"

A fake, unwilling smile crept on Tsuna's face. The brunette wasn't going to even bother rebutting, "Of course Reborn-san."

This seemed to appease the tutor from hell and the car soon fell into a strangely calming silence. Some time to think, to breathe. Thoughts about this new school invaded his mind. Would it be a big school, full of snobby, rich kids? Or just be filled with a bunch of scary mean people? Tsuna was never good at communicating with others and because of his small figure and nervous expression he was often the victim of his classmates cruel words. He continued to doze off into his thoughts until the car took a sharp turn and stopped with out giving any warning. Tsuna flew forward almost crushing Reborn as his face smacked into the dark colored glass separating the driver from the back of the car.

"Seems like we've made it."

After peeling his face off the (now covered with saliva) glass, Tsuna stepped out of the car. He was surprised at how small the school looked because for some reason he was thinking it would be something like three mansions combined into one building. Large gates and walls kept the building disconnected from the rest of the world and it intimidated the brunette a bit. Who knew what would be on the end of those gates?

"We'll be going to the head master's room and then we'll leave. Understand Dame-Tsuna?"

Nodding the future mafia boss followed his tutor and tried to take in his surroundings…and to figure out a way to make his hands stop sweating. They entered the small building and continued forward out another door and Tsuna's jaw almost dropped at the sight. The school was larger inside the main building, a clever illusion to keep unwanted people from snooping around the grounds. There were three separate buildings further into the property all lined up next to each other, though only the two towards the right connected to each other. Tsuna guessed one of them had to be the dorms while the others must have been the actual school itself. Tsuna started to wonder exactly how large this school really was…

The duo continued to walk through the large courtyard into one of the buildings to the right that had in large letters saying "Main Building" over the doors. Soon Tsuna found himself staring at a large door and Reborn was talking with a strange man in a black suit. Tsuna wondered when the man appeared without even making a sound. But then he remembered this was a school Reborn choose and he shouldn't be surprised by anything; that was one of their first lessons together.

The ninja-like man turned and bowed towards Tsuna after he finished chatting with Reborn. "Sawada-sama, I'm afraid only Reborn is allowed inside with the headmaster. The headmaster however has given you full permission to wander the grounds."

With that his tutor and the man made their way inside the room, closing the door shut behind them. Tsuna stood there for another minute deciding what he should do. Exploring didn't sound so bad…and he did have his gloves so it wasn't like he'd be defenseless or anything. Because he had a funny feeling, deep, deep down in his stomach that something life threatening was going to happen. The teen wandered the halls stopping every so often to check the rooms to see what was inside. So far he had walked in on three couples making out, another two were actually "getting it on" (to which the brunette blushed madly and quickly rushed down the hall to hide his embarrassment), and an incredibly crowded library. He decided to continue even though the school seemed to be strange and wandered into a nicely decorated room.

I hope no ones here… He thought to himself as he examined the room. I really don't want to have to explain why I was wandering into an empty room and run for my life when the guy gets pissed I "ruined" the fun…Releasing a sigh the brunette sat on one of the couches nearby the large windows with red designed curtains. He really wanted to know what Reborn was discussing with this unknown headmaster…but just like all his other attempts at getting information, there was little chance that Tsuna would ever get his answers.

"Kya~! Intruder! Intruder!"

Tsuna's head snapped towards the door he came through and was surprised to see a small girl standing at the doorway. Her mouth was open slightly in surprise and her finger was pointed directly at Tsuna. He couldn't really tell how old she was but she seemed young and now he wanted to know what she was doing here.

"Um…sorry I-uh, are you a student here?"

She ignored him however and rushed into the room, "No, NO! You can't be here! Intruder! Intruder!" The girl opened doors on the other end of the room and yelled a few inaudible words Tsuna couldn't quite catch.

"Calm down Thekla-chan…" another girl entered the room after the girl, Thekla, dragged her out. Tsuna felt his face heat up as she smiled at him. She had short hair that was a pretty brown and she was just so…CUTE! "I'm sorry about Thekla-chan she gets upset around strangers…Oh! My name is Kyoko Sasagawa and this is Achlys Thekla, nice to meet you!"

"M-My name is...Tsunayoshi Sawada, n-nice to meet you too!"

Achlys pouted now that she realized Kyoko wasn't going to kick out the strange boy. She tugged on the taller girl's arm, "Koko-chan he can't be here!"

Kyoko sighed, "Thekla-chan he's not hurting anyone. He's probably a new student so please stop worrying?" This didn't seem to appease Achlys however. She let go of Kyoko and flipped her black hair over her shoulder.

"Fine! If Koko-chan wants him then I'll leave!" the girl didn't give a second thought as she stalked out of the room fuming.

"Don't worry about her she'll calm down in a bit." Kyoko said after she noticed Tsuna watch Achlys stomp out. "She doesn't like people to be in here unless they're her family."

"Can I ask why?"

Kyoko giggled and it sounded like sweet little bells in Tsuna's head, "I'm sure you'll find out soon. Anyway would you like a tour? Achlys may actually bring someone here…"

Tsuna gulped at the thought of being alone with such a cute girl, wandering around the large school grounds…together. Ah! It was making him blush again! He never was successful with any girl he met, since most overlooked his peaceful nature and only saw the idiot on the outside. So you can imagine the hormonal teenager was ecstatic that he might have a chance with a very attractive girl. But then he remembered Reborn, and the mafia, and what his future was going to be like...

The future mafia boss shook his head, "Sounds great but I actually have to go meet my tutor…maybe uh, tomorrow?"

Kyoko nodded her head in understanding, "Sure, I can show you around in the morning and during lunch! I'll introduce you to some of my friends too, better that you know someone than being alone right?"

Tsuna nodded and smiled. He liked her way of thinking and was actually flattered she would spend some of her time to show him around. Though he was a bit nervous to meet her friends…would the girl Achlys be there too? They walked together for a short time before Kyoko pointed him in the direction to the office and said good-bye. Tsuna took his time getting back however this time he didn't examine every room he passed.

When he arrived back at his original destination, Reborn was waiting outside muttering to himself. Once he noticed Tsuna approach the baby-man jumped onto his shoulder and demanded the teen to take them back outside.

"So um…what did you guys talk about?"

"Nothing you need to worry about."

That gave him all the more reason to worry. "If involves me shouldn't I-"

"I'll tell you tomorrow, now shut up and get us to the car."

With a small sigh Tsuna trudged forward back to the slick black car which brought them to the school. He hoped Reborn was telling the truth. The future boss wanted to know the secrets of the school and maybe get a girlfriend in the process. He almost laughed, as if it'd be that easy! "Really though did they say I couldn't get in? because really Reborn-san I would-"

No one outside the black car could hear the scream that followed a stupid question and once again only the disturbed driver would ever walk away to tell the tale of how a baby nearly mutilated a teenage boy twice in one day.

Honorifics {these will be posted in every chapter}:

+ San – Closest analog to the English term "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", and "Ms.". It can be both formal and informal when added to a person's name though it is neutral between genders. It can also be added to an animals name or inanimate objects.

+ Sama – The more respectful version of –san; generally addressed to those of a higher rank than oneself, towards one's customers, and to those whom one greatly admires.

+ Sempai – used to address to one's senior in school (college or high school), company, sports club, or group.

+ Chan – used to address babies, young children, or teenage girls. Also used for animals, lovers, or close friends.

+ Kun – used to address those of senior status, junior status, male children, or male teenagers. It can be used by females to address males they are emotionally attracted to as well as be used to address a female colleague.

+ Dame – "no good".

+ Baka – Idiot; you add this to someone's name or you could just flat out call them a 'baka', it's insulting either way.

+ Shiro – White or snow

+ Hime - Princess or a honorific used for girls who are either a girlfriend or wife to a gang leader.

So some changes are big in this fic if you haven't already noticed. Ryuu has been removed from the story permanently (mostly because his character became really complicated and a bit too psychotic for this kind of story) and is now replaced with an OC family! Please note the OC family WILL NOT be paired with any character besides another OC so rest assure this will not turn into an OCxCannon fic...unless you guys want me to or something. But they probs won't so this'll be CannonxCannon and OCxOC.

So yeah at first I was having a hard time figuring out exactly how I was going to make a plot that kinda followed the original (pssh like that had a plot at all!) but now I think I have something that I'm going to go on. I've decided on the couples, which should become obvious as the chapters progress. With that...Happy/Merry belated Hanukkah/Christmas and Happy New Year!

P.S - I will be really busy getting all my shit together for college so I have no idea when this will updated :I