I do not own anything containing or related to the Harry Potter series or any character of said series. J.K. Rowling owns it all. This story is for entertainment and completely NOT made for monetary gain or commercialism. Oh, and I kind of borrowed the name 'Hilly' from the 'Hillywood Show'. *They are REALLY funny so if you haven't seen their work CHECK IT OUT!

Takes place during year six at Hogwarts and eventually gets to post war…

Summary: Basically, Harry becomes a girl because he feels like he needs to be a girl. Problem? Ok.

Warnings: Girl problems in later chapters… Firstly gay relationship that eventually turns heterosexual *shudders*

*I fully support Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual people… I just thought this would be a cool plot twist if Harry were a Hilly :3

Hilly Potter and the Gendus Alias

Chapter One

Harry was sitting by the black lake watching the small waves hit the dirt with unfocused eyes. He felt so uncomfortable with himself lately… Just awkward with himself. He always felt uncomfortable with his body; not in the way that he thought he was ugly just the whole thing all together. He felt he'd be much better off if he were a girl and not a boy, it just felt wrong to him. He did wonders trying to cover it up by acting as manly as he possibly could all the time but he was getting tired of it this wasn't who he really was. He'd been depressed for a while not knowing if he should just go on pretending and lying or if he should tell his friends… would they help him? Would they… not be his friends anymore once they found out? Should he even risk it?

"Damn." He sighed.

He needed someone to talk to. Anyone. Harry thought through everyone he knew and decided that the best person to tell first would have to be Hermione. She was always so nice and caring towards him he was sure that at least she wouldn't leave him over this.

Harry got up and went to the school then made his way to the common room. Harry looked around for a second and then spotted Ron and Hermione sitting at a table working on some papers.

"Hullo." Harry said walking up.

"Hi, Harry. Where've you been?" Ron asked glad for a distraction.

"I was just out by the lake…" Harry said.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked looking up from her unfinished essay.

"Well, I…" Harry felt a sudden surge of doubt. Maybe he should just… Oh, fuck. He didn't know what to do, "I need to go."

"Harry?"

"No. It's fine. I just… Damn it. Never mind." Harry said turning around and walking towards the boys' dormitory.

"What ever is wrong, we can help you. We can go in private and talk about it. I can tell something's been bothering you, Harry." Hermione said to his back.

Harry turned around and looked at Hermione then to Ron who nodded.

"I'm not sure if… I should even tell you though. It's something very… important and… personal. I don't know how to say it. If you would just let me think over how to tell you… I will."

"Take all the time you need Harry." Hermione said smiling, "We'll be here for you."

"Yeah. We're here for you, mate." Ron said putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks." Harry smiled slightly at them. Maybe he will tell them. Maybe he should just find out a way to change himself and then make it permanent. Is there a potion for that? Maybe he could discretely ask Hermione or bring it up to Slughorn since he was his favorite student. But would Harry have the guts to make it permanent? Well of course, Harry thought to himself, it's what he's wanted since he could remember.

"You want to sit down… Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Oh… Yeah." Harry said awkwardly realizing he was staring into space.

Harry sat down next to Hermione and put his potion book on his crossed legs and opened it to the index. It took him only a few minutes to find the potion: the gendus alias potion. Harry felt butterflies after seeing this potion, now he felt one step closer to his desire.

"Hermione… If you wanted a potion to be… permanent… is there any way you could do that?"

"You could do the permatus curse on the flask I suppose. What potion do you-"

"Nothing. I was just wondering." Harry said quickly, closing his book really fast lest she saw the potion he was looking at.

Hermione gave him a skeptical look and turned back to her work.

It was the midst of an internal struggle between what your parents want and what you want. Malfoy was sitting between columns down the hall of the Room of Requirement contemplating his plans, over and over. He had to kill Dumbledore to be in with Voldemort and keep his good name. He knew this. He was constantly reminded every time he saw Dumbledore. His plans were failing and he knew it, Snape knew it. It killed him that Snape was his backup for the plan. It made him feel inferior to his duties especially since his plans to get Katie Bell to take a cursed necklace to the headmaster had failed.

Suddenly, his thoughts were swept away from these thoughts and back to right now. He had a secret. He hadn't told a soul about this certain… liking he had for a fellow student. A male student. When it first started he thought it would brush over. But it never did. He still felt a nervousness around him, the kind that make you scared that if you do a certain thing they'll somehow know you like them. He hated himself for this one fact.

Malfoy had a heart-wrenching crush on Harry Potter.

Harry was, in his mind, the perfect boy. If only he was a girl. He would find himself thinking. God, how he wished he was born a girl so this crush could flourish and be made into something beautiful. He would be killed by Voldemort instantly if he found out, which made him claw at his neck when he thought of it.

The only way he could handle all the tension he felt towards this scarred, raven-haired boy was to pick a fight with him. That's why he would always try and get the better of him, though… he was slacking lately. He had been so thoughtful over his mission his mind would skip over its usual 'Harry Time' and go straight to his plan. Even though it probably was for the better.

"Fuck." He sighed as he got up to go back to his common room in the dungeons. Here goes to another night of the dreary suspense of getting a job done hanging over his sleepy head. He felt like a Marionette with Voldemort handling his crossbars making him do whatever he needed.

Why'd he have to be born on this side of the fight? Why?

Harry woke up feeling exceptionally content with his life today. He was only in such a good mood because he had just gotten the memory from Professor Slughorn and gotten one step closer to defeating Voldemort in one night.

But he was also a few steps behind after figuring out there were still at least four more Horcruxes to destroy and so little time. But Dumbledore had reassured him. He had given Harry a hope he hadn't felt in a long time. Dumbledore even promised that he would be able to go with him to destroy some of them.

"… and Dumbledore said I could go with him on some of the missions." Harry said to Ron and Hermione in the Charms classroom, after using the Muffliato spell, of course.

"Wow…" Ron said shaking his head in disbelief, "I wonder if you could have been any luckier."

"Oh, I think he could," Hermione said with slight smile, "Didn't you hear? Ginny and Dean broke up yesterday."

"Why?" Harry asked trying to look excited.

"It's been a pretty rocky relationship the whole time. Ginny just got fed up with him always trying to help her."

Harry looked away and stared at his book. Hermione suspected he liked her but… she was wrong. He had feelings for another person though he wasn't even sure if Malfoy liked him back.

When they made their way to potions, Harry's mind was still on that blond haired Slytherin. He almost gasped when Malfoy came from around the corner and started walking slightly behind them with Blaise. Hermione and Ron ignored him but Harry tried to use his other senses to see what he was doing. Alas, all he acquired was that he was walking quietly behind him. Harry sighed and walked through the potions door with his friends.

"Good morning class!" Professor Slughorn beamed to the class, "Today I am going to go over some potion fundamentals…" Professor Slughorn turned around at this, thus bringing forth a small hum of conversations through out the classroom. Malfoy, though, sat quiet and stared poker faced at the back of Harry's head. He watched as Harry would turn to Ron and whisper something with those amazing lips or lean back and stretch his arm around the back of his head.

He couldn't help but wonder if he liked him. Maybe… He hoped he did. No. Malfoy's don't 'hope'. They know. And Draco Malfoy sure as hell knew that every walking creature on this planet thought he was a fucking sexy beast. He smiled at his own remarks to himself and got out a piece of parchment. He scribbled something on it and sent it to Harry with a flick of his wand. It flew lazily across the room and landed gently on Harry's lap to no one's notice. Harry turned around to see where it came from and saw Malfoy smile, wink and turn away with a smirk.

'Meet me in the Astronomy Tower tonight at 2 a.m.' He read to himself quickly stashing it in his pocket. Harry turned around to see if Malfoy would look at him but he seemed to be talking with Blaise now.

"What was that?" Ron whispered to Harry pointing to his pocket.

"What? Nothing." Harry said. He wasn't sure what it was. Did Malfoy… like him? Did he know he was gay?

"You… sure? You look pretty… tense." Ron said.

"I'm… I'm sure." Harry lied.

When they made their way to the Great Hall Harry couldn't help himself from looking for Malfoy. He finally found his face in the sea of Slytherins and kept glancing over to him.

"Who are you looking at, Harry?" Hermione asked trying to follow his gaze.

"What? Oh, I just thought I saw a… nargle." Harry lied badly.

"Seriously! What's been up with you lately?" Ron asked almost annoyed.

"I… I don't know." Harry put his hand under his chin and glanced back at Malfoy, "I just feel weird."

"You need to see Madam Pomfrey?" Hermione asked.

"No. I just… I can't say." Harry said, "But can I ask you a question?" Harry asked looking up at Hermione and Ron.

"Of course, Harry!" Hermione said.

"Well, I have this crush on someone and… I shouldn't."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"It's irreverent but I need you to tell me how to not like someone."

"But, Harry… whoever you like shouldn't be that bad."

"Just tell me! Please?"

"Try to think of the things that are bad about her." God, the word 'her' made his stomach turn.

"But it's the bad that makes me want this person all the more." Harry said weakly.

"Well… I'm not so sure, Harry. What do you think, Ron?"

"Just try and find someone better." Ron said.

"But this person is so amazing and-and balls I love hi-" Harry stopped real fast to correct his mistake, "Her."

Hermione's eyes flashed towards him but Ron just looked down at his food. Then Hermione smiled and said, "If you're too scared about what people will think or if it will interfere with Voldemort, Harry… It's fine. I'll love you no matter what."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Ron asked suddenly.

"Thanks." Harry said smiling, "I love you like the sister I never had."

At this Ron smiled slightly and turned to Harry, "Yeah… I'm, er, here, too."

Hermione smiled and pulled a book from her bag and began to read.

When Harry got out to the Astronomy Tower that night he saw Malfoy leaned up against the wall a ways down, humorously reminding him of a cowboy in a movie he'd seen. Harry slowly walked up to him until he stood right in front of him. Malfoy had his arms crossed along with his ankles and he looked impassive.

Malfoy looked around and saw a door standing ajar and pushed Harry through it. He then closed the door behind him and locked it smirking at Harry's reaction.

"I'm not going to kill you." Malfoy whispered amused. He walked up to Harry and put an arm on either side of him, pinning him to the back of the door.

"What are you going to do?" Harry asked glancing up at his face.

"What do you want me to do?" Malfoy asked getting so close to Harry that their breath mingled between their mouths.

"Kiss me." Harry said staring into his eyes.

Malfoy leaned up to Harry and kissed him. Harry felt the most amazing feeling he'd ever felt in his life. Finally he was with the one person he'd wanted. Finally he was truly happy but…

"Why'd you stop?" Harry asked.

"When did you start?" Malfoy asked seriously.

"Start what, Draco?"

God, Draco melted when he said his name.

"When did you start to like me?"

"I first started liking you in our first year when I saw you ride that broom. Before that… I never thought we had anything in common but," Harry looked away out of embarrassment, "seeing you do something that I love so much and so well, too made me think that we're not so different after all."

Draco looked at Harry, who still had his head turned, and smiled. He hadn't smiled like this in so long.

"When did you start to like me?" Harry asked, piercing Draco's heart with his emerald gaze.

"When you rejected me on that train," Draco said not breaking eye contact with Harry, "It made me feel so mad… I didn't really know why I was so mad until… one day I caught myself staring at you."

Harry's cheeks got hot as Draco said this and he tried his hardest to fight it.

"You're just so… amazing, Harry." Draco said putting a hand up to Harry's face just to feel a part of him. He was so warm.

"You're so fucking sexy, Draco." Harry said putting his hands through his perfect blond hair, "Wait- you want to keep us a… secret?"

"Yes. I don't think either of us, especially you, needs that kind of publicity." Malfoy said grabbing Harry's waist.

"Yeah. Just what I need. More publicity."

A/N: After talking with a few people I have decided to rewrite this story. Only a bit though but enough so that there is a build up to the 'gender change'. Don't worry; Hilly will come to be soon! :)

My friend Erika Raedene helped me figure this out, so thanks to her, too! :3

Butterbeer all around for a great first chapter!

*****Oh, and please review! The chapter previously posted will still be in this story just in a later chapter and possibly revised to go with this…

And sorry for the wait! I have to keep my grades up or else no FanFiction time for me! :(