AN: This story is written from two POVs, Kagami's and Konata's. Normal text is Kagami. Bold is Konata. -I- indicates POV switch. Might be quite OOC, but that's kind of the point. Enjoy!
I don't know how this happened. I really don't. My current theory is that it grew out of all those years of friendship, day after day until I couldn't ignore it anymore. I love her. I can say that so easily to myself, which I guess is a feat in itself. At first, I had troubles accepting it, understandably. When I finally gave in, it became a search for the when and the how. I deemed the first question unanswerable. It impossible to say when I started to feel like this. The feeling had always been there, ignored or misunderstood by me. I can remember smiling to myself when she neatly tucks her blue hair behind her ears to read. I can remember holding back a laugh when she frowns at a math problem and scratches her head with confusion in those big, green eyes. And always that blunt, warm feeling in the my stomach. So I can't say when it began. And then there is the how. How, how, how does something like this happen? Konata's a pest, constantly insulting and making fun of me. My weight, my eating habits (right back at my weight), my clothes (outside of school, that is), and countless other things I'm insecure about. I could say that I don't mind, that I've gotten used to it after all this time. I would be lying. May it be that she's joking, but that stuff hurts. I don't expect a girl like Konata to understand that. I mean, if she was any more careless I doubt she'd have any friends at all!…ugh. Friends make fun of each other, and I do consider Konata a friend (an annoying, hyperactive and otherwise rude one, but a friend nevertheless), but I just can't get over the things she says. I suppose it's my fault for being so weak-minded, but…oh, I'm getting off-topic.
-I-
First, let me explain something. I'm more aware then people think. I have a sharp intellect, along with alertness and agility that would surprise most people. Perhaps I don't show off these qualities regularly, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. Tch. I just had to bring it up, I don't want people thinking ill of me with no proper background. Everyone is so judgmental these days. Anywho, where was I?…oh yes, Kagami. Well, she's the only person I would say I have a "strained" relationship with. Eh…we don't get along very well. It is partially my fault, I know, but I only do what I do out of love. That sounds stupid, I'm aware, but it's just the way I am. I'm different. It quickly became more of a regular thing, taking jabs and stabs at her whenever I could. I kind of enjoy the conflicts, the arguments that arise, and to have someone to take out my frustration on (ironically, she's usually the one who causes said frustration). But…I feel ashamed at the same time. Kagamin is always so serious, about everything. I just wish she'd be a little more…I dunno, laidback. Or at least not so obsessed with herself. But I…heh, kind of like that about her. She's acts like caring is a chore, something that she'd rather not want to do. I don't know why I find that attractive, honestly. Maybe because it reminds me of my own personality, although that sounds a little narcissistic. Anyhow, we both dislike having our feelings set for us. I would say that I'm the only one of us that actually acts on it, that goes outside the box. I know Kagami wants to do something, but she doesn't know how or what. Poor thing. She really is too serious. But I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?
-I-
The hardest thing for me to accept was not the fact that I liked a girl, but that that girl was no other than the bane of my existence. I know this sounds strange, but to me it's not. Think about it. If you fall in love with someone who is mean to you, do you question why you love someone who makes you feel bad or why you love someone of the same sex? The answer may vary from one individual to another, but I think I've made my point. I've been thinking about telling someone about it. There were many possible candidates; Miyuki, Tsukasa, my parents…but in the end, I decided not to tell anyone. If the situation had been slightly different, and there had been a boy annoying and teasing me, I might've told Mom and Dad. They might've looked at each other with crooked smiles and said with voices full of memories something about how guys act at that age, and how they might be mean to me because they like me. You know, all that pre-school crap. But the thought brings up an interesting point, and it's the reason I decided to keep my feelings to myself. Would the person I told react to who I was in love with, or the gender of that person? I bet the latter. That's because it makes more sense to react to a person being attracted to the same gender, than to react to who said person is attracted to. Uh, I'm rambling, and it might not make to much sense when put like that. But I'm doing my best to describe how I feel, and there's nothing wrong with that. So yeah, I can't stand the thought of a friend getting hung up on the matter I've already gotten past and accepted; that I like other girls. Or rather, one girl: Konata Izumi.
-I-
I've known for a long time. I've got no specific date or event for ya, but I've known for years. To me, it wasn't really a big deal. I had always found most males mighty uninteresting or just plain boring, and the new discovery was right up my alley. So nothing changed, except that I looked at some of my classmates with a newfound respect. I never told anyone, but I've always been one for not hiding feelings and emotions. And most people are half blind when it comes to that stuff anyways, so what does it matter? But Misao noticed (Surprised? You shouldn't be. She's even more easy-going with emotions than I am). She and I had never seen eye to eye before, but she's a really nice person when you get to know her. I often find myself comparing her to Kagami, and she is also the only one I've told about my love for the "cold-hearted monster that is Kagami Hiiragi" (Misao's words in a joking tone, along with a knowing wink). Hah…yeah, don't ask me what's up with Misao and Kagami, because I don't even know. Anywho…Misao Kusakabe (You know that fang-like tooth she has? Sexy. Yeah, I said it. If I recall, Kuroi-sensei has one of those as well…eh, it suits Misao a lot better). My closest friend since a year or so back, albeit not in public. I guess you could've called her my girlfriend at one point or another, but that would be a stretch. We never did anything more than kissing or fumbling around, but we talked a lot as well. All and all, we hanged out a lot, and we still do. She was surprisingly supportive when I told her about my feelings for Kagami, even if she did poke a lot of fun at me for week or two. Mine and Misao's relationship was always centered around friendship and the fact that we more or less understood each other, and she has told me again and again that I should just tell Kagami how I feel. Yeah right…
-I-
How can you tell if someone you like likes you? How can you tell when the girl you like clings to you like a sticky band-aid, but one that hurts instead of heals? But there's a silver lining in all of this; I've come to appreciate Konata's clinginess when I can, because I certainly makes me feel a lot better than anything else these days. So yeah, you can tell I've done a lot of thinking to this, most of it only serving to make me more depressed about the whole predicament. Ugh, I really should try to think about something else. Easier said than done. I just don't know what to do with myself.
-I-
I don't know if Kagami hates me. I wouldn't be surprised, even if I think we've been "friends" long enough for her to tolerate me. Maybe she just doesn't care about me at all, I don't really know what's worse. I might've been on her good side once upon a time, before I let my feelings get the better of me. I would like to apologize, let her know that I never meant a single of those things I've said to her. But I can't. She wouldn't look me right in the eyes and ask why, and I would have to tell her. And I just can't do that. Am I afraid of being rejected? Laughed at? Screamed at? Losing her? Losing my other friends? Losing the opportunity to see her every day and argue with her, to occasionally laugh and have fun with her? Yeah. That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I just don't know what to do.
-I-
I open my eyes. I'm sitting on a subway train, it's quite late and I'm really tired. I feel heavy weights on both my shoulder, but they are more comforting that anything. A man in full suit with a matching briefcase is trying to keep his balance in front of me, as all seats are full and he's forced to stand. I lazily turn my head to the right to find Tsukasa sleeping peacefully with my shoulder as her pillow. I give her a loving look before something clicks in my head and quickly look to my right. What I find is Konata snoozing on my other shoulder, her mouth half-open as she mumbles something inaudible. She looks adorable, and I have to bite my lip not to say or do something I'd regret. But as if she can feel that I'm looking at her, she opens a sleepy eye and looks right at me. What happened next is not my fault, it's a reaction, a panic reflex. I jump like a scared little kid, and knock Tsukasa in the head with my shoulder in the process, which immediately wakes her up. Without me to support her, Konata hits her head on the glass pane with a surprised squeal. I turn to Tsukasa who is rubbing her eyes drowsily, both to apologize for accidentally hitting her and because I'm blushing like crazy. No one around us really seemed to notice, but that was not why I was embarrassed. As my sister shakes her head and tells me that she didn't feel a thing, I can feel Konata's green lasers digging into my back. Surely she will think that I did that on purpose and complain about it. But a few minutes later, the train stops and Konata steps off without so much as a word. I spend the rest of the day (and night, sadly) beating myself up about the incident. The next day I fall asleep during class. Figures.
-I-
My newest interest is running. The majority of my fellow students despise PE, and I can't say I like it either. But the running…wow. It's baffling how clear your mind gets when you feel the wind rushing past you and you're far from getting tired, you feel like you can run for hours. My stamina is not half bad, and I often find myself taking time off my day to run tracks. Nothing is as refreshing, honestly.
It's a sunny, sweltering hot Monday. It's gym class, and almost everyone is lying passed out under a tree or such, trying to hide from the relentless sun. Me, well, I'm not letting such a petty inconvenience stop me. I suck it up and keep running laps, round and round. It was one of those days when you rather not think, when you just can't get something (or someone) out of your head. I am exhausted, but I don't want to stop. I start to feel a little dizzy, but I keep running. This was one of the best decisions I've ever made. A drop of sweat finds its way to my eye in spite of the white sweatband sitting comfortably around my head. I blink to get the burning liquid out of my eye, and I fall. No idea how, maybe from exhaustion or tripping. I put my hands out to break the fall, but I somehow fall in an odd angle that makes my hand bend backwards with a disgusting crack, and my head hits the ground. Hard. It's a very blunt pain, a paralyzing vibration through my skull. If you have ever gotten a concussion, you know what it feels like. Needless to say, I get knocked out, even if it feels like no time at all has passed when I open my eyes. I'm lying on my back, with my head resting in someone's crossed legs. I can faintly hear shouting above me, worried voices and a calm and collected one that obviously is our teacher. My head feels numb and sore at the same time, and my wrist hurts like hell. I carefully open one of my eyes, because I know the sun is still shining down on me. But I'm lying in the shade, the shade of another person. When I see who is acting as my pillow, I immediately close my eye and pray to god that no one noticed it. It was, as if you needed me to tell you, Kagami. And it feels…different. I have made a thing about being overly clingy with Kagamin at certain times, but it felt different when she was the one who took contact with me. It feels lovely, and I need to bite my tongue really hard just to keep myself from smiling. Within a few minutes, someone carefully pokes me, and I pretend to "wake up" right away. I know that I could be hurt I expect Kagami to look angry with me or simply ignore me. But she looks at me with a to me caring look which I later question due to the fact that I saw her face upside-down. I get to go to the hospital, where I find myself with a minor concussion, a nasty looking scrape and a fractured wrist. Completely worth it.
-I-
It was pure coincidence. We were all supposed to hang out as Konata's, have a snack and play some video games. But what happened is what happens if your friend and your sister are the two most light-headed persons in the history of mankind. Tsukasa had her cooking class, which she always (aaaaaalways) forgets about. Usually I remind her, but I can't help her forever. She still remembered it an hour before it started though, so she had a pretty hectic leave. And Miyuki…uh, I can't remember. I mean, I only remember Tsukasa's excuse since we live together and all, I can't for my the life of me remember what Miyuki had to do that was so important. Well, it's irrelevant. So, I thought that we should reschedule, since it was just me and Konata left. But Konata surprises me and asks if I couldn't come home to her anyways. She says she doesn't have anything planned for the afternoon, and she'd rather not go and be bored for hours. I agree, since I feel the same way. When Konata suggested it, she sounded rather hesitant. I imagine that she was just being polite, and would surely have found something to do by herself. So it is with a bittersweet nerve that I follow Konata home. Her dad isn't home, god knows where he was. I don't ask, didn't particularly care. So we sit down in the kitchen to eat some jam and/or jelly sandwiches, without a single stab at my weight from Konata. In fact, she seems quieter than usual, like something is on her mind.
-I-
Why? Why did I insist on her coming here? I ask that same to myself over and over. I could punch myself. I don't mind hanging around Kagami when other people are around, but I get so annoyingly nervous when I'm alone with her. I take a frustrated bite out of my sandwich, and get a face full of jelly because of it. Kagami laughs at me and almost chokes on her own food, and I give her an angry look before I wipe the jam off my cheek and lick it off my fingers. I hold back a particularly sharp comment, and remind myself that I should try to stop with the insults. I finish my sandwich and force myself to calm down, it's just like any other time Kagami has been here. Except for the "all alone" part. "I'll go start up the TV. Just put the plate in the sink when you're done, m'kay?" I say as I give Kagami's pile of sandwiches a condescending eye, which just looked big because I eat quicker than her. She stopped right in the middle of a bite, and I walked out snickering to myself. A small nudge doesn't hurt.
-I-
I drop the plate deliberately an inch above the sink, enjoying the loud clank it makes. I lean against the wooden cabinets, trying to collect my thoughts. I decide that Konata wouldn't have asked me here if she didn't want me here, and that I should try to ignore the whole love thing. It's easier said than done, but I admit that the little pest has been acting relatively friendly towards me, and I should stop being so awkward around her. When I get to the Konata's room, she's already in full-on gaming mode, and I feel a little better inside. 'Friends', I say loudly in my head. Konata then bursts out in a victory laugh that shows off a glittering smile and a cascade of blue hair. 'Friends', I repeat with less conviction.
Twenty minutes later, I'm starting to feel a little uneasy. We're playing some kind of fighting game, where usually the screen mocks me with its PERFECT! in gold letters, and Konata raises her fist in yet another easy victory. But there has to be something really major on her mind, because I'm actually putting up a decent fight. I even won a match once, and that is about as unlikely as surviving a fall from an airplane…make that a spaceship. Maybe I should be glad, but I get worried. Konata also seems to become more and more frustrated with herself, tugging on her hair impatiently and other such things. It's really not a common sight, and it's making me nervous. So when Konata asks with a smile that I'm positive is forced if I want to play something else, I ask with only a slight tremble in my voice: "Is there something wrong?"
-I-
I. Want. To. Die. I can't believe this is making me so upset. It started out well, a normal gaming session wherein I beat Kagami in anything and everything. Well, look who can't concentrate. We're seriously almost sitting shoulder to shoulder, and I get the same feeling as that time when I fell unconscious that one time during gym class. When I'm not in control, being near Kagami is just so…different. My hands are getting really sweaty, and I'm having more and more trouble actually playing. The more I try to tell myself that I should be able to handle this, the worse I play. Finally, I just put down the controller and sigh. I can feel the look Kagami is giving me, so I make an attempt at a grin and ask if we could play something else. Anything is better than fighting games at this point. But then I see it. I know that she's going to ask a stupid question that I'm going to have to answer. I hate this, why didn't I just keep my mouth shut! Why didn't I-
"Is there something wrong?"
I feel dizzy. I can't breathe. I can't lie. I can't look into those purple eyes and tell a lie. I feel the tingling sensation on my skin, and I know I'm blushing. I'm too emotionally exhausted to even get mad at myself. After what seems like minutes of awkward silence, I finally manage to turn away. The controller hits the floor with a clack as I raise my hands to hide tears that will inevitably come. I hate this! Not a word from Kagami. As long as I don't look at her, I'm fine. I can sit like this forever. I'm burning up inside, but I'll be fine. As long I don't look at her. That's when she grabs my arm.
-I-
I did this. I made her act like this. You can't imagine how it feels to watch someone you've known for years do something you never thought they would do. Konata brings her hands to her face, but I can't see if she's crying or what, because her hair is in the way. I don't know how to undo whatever I did, if I can do anything at all. I think about leaving, and an image cuts its way through my head like a laser beam. The time when I turned away, ignored her. I can't ignore her every time I hurt her. That's not how this works. She made an attempt to be nice…well, nicer to me. And I ignored that. She's my friend, and I love her. What would a friend do? I gently grab her wrist, and she flinches as if my hand was made of ice. I bring her hand to the side, pushing the blue curtain aside. She turns to me, hesitantly. She has this look of surprise on her face, and only one other thought pops into my head.
-I-
I didn't imagine that caring look, after all. It's right there. Kagami is still holding my wrist in a strong, if soft, grip. I can't help but be surprising at how close she is now. Our knees are touching, something I didn't notice before. The sudden discovery, together with everything else, is paralyzing me. I just can't take it anymore. I do the sensible thing for once, and close my eyes. Kagami's hand and her skin against mine is like hot spots in the soothing darkness.
-I-
And then I stop thinking.
And then I lean in closer.
And then I kiss her.
-I-
And then she kisses me.
And then I open my eyes.
And then a tear rolls down my cheek.
-I-
-I-
-I-
"Hey…Misao?"
"Hmm?"
"You think there's a way to tell if someone likes you?"
"Why ya askin'? "
"No reason. Don't look at me like that!"
"Fine, calm down. Mm…yeah, I think there is a way."
"What would that be?"
"You kiss 'em."
"…seriously?"
"What are you two youngins chatting about?"
"Oh, Kuroi-sens-"
-I-
AN: Yep. Generic, yes. Fun to write, yes. Any good? You tell me. Reviews are welcome. Oh, I've made sorts of an explanatory thing below here. Don't want to read it, that's fine.
Possible hating points:
"You don't describe the characters well at all!" Firstly, I'm an amateur writer with English as my second language. Get off my back. Secondly, I work mainly with OCs and tend to write character as I perceive them. If you want a story where EVERYTHING sounds, looks and tastes just like Lucky Star, go read "Lucky Legacy".
"There's barely anything happening in this story!" This is a very thought-based and confined story, yes. If you don't like it, you don't like it. I am planning another oneshot (another Konata/Kagami or a Konata/Tsukasa, haven't decided yet), which is going to have more actual events, but for this one I wanted to try something new.
Anything else I did wrong? Tell me, please. Like I said, I'm writing solely in English, something that is semi-difficult for me. I'm trying to grow as a writer in general, and I wrote this because Lucky Star is an amazing anime I'll never forget, and because I wanted a challenge. I hope you enjoyed my story one way or another, as much as did writing the damn thing.