Fletcher's POV: I've never hated boomerangs more. Except, in hindsight, right at the time of the incident. It's taken me all the way until school started back up to relies what Chyna was going to say. Yea, I'm slow witted. Deal with it.
She was going to say she likes me back.
Of course, it was only because I saved her from emus. But, if it weren't for me, she wouldn't need help. It kind of cancels its self out. Or maybe not. I just hope the superhero effect doesn't have an expiration date.
As I was in the ANT Farm Wednesday morning, I figured, Why not find out?
She was sitting on the sofa, reading the latest issue of Girl's Life. Trying to look as cool as possible, I put me hands in my pockets and walked over.
"Why are you walking like you just pooped your pants?" Olive asked, standing in the doorway of the ANT Farm. I hated her sometimes. Correction, all the time. So much for the cool guy act. Chyna looked up.
"For your information," I said to Olive, "My pants are completely poop free." I turned to Chyna. Her face was behind her magazine and her shoulders were shaking. Laughing. Suck it up! Be a man! I thought. Look how that turned out last time.
"Hi Chyna," I stuttered. "I want to ask you a question."
"Sure. What is it?"
"Well, um..." My hands were sweating. "Would you like to go out with me Saturday?"
"No, thanks." Chyna stood up. "I don't want to hurt out friendship." Then she walked out of the door. Translation: You're a freak and I don't want to be seen with you. At that point I would've rather taken the dump in my pants.
Olive looked at me. I had almost forgot she was there. "I know how you can get Chyna to like you."
Olive's POV: I suggested that Fletcher just ask out someone else to make Chyna jealous. And what did he say? "I don't know any girls that would make Chyna jealous."
Oh, really? I can think of three right off the top of my head.
Before I proceed, I want to tell you I have no feelings for that immature little weirdo.
I said he should ask me out. In movies, if the guy starts going out with the best friend, it freaks out the main character. I just freaked out Fletcher. So I added that it would solely be a platonic date. He didn't know what that meant and started freaking out even more.
"No!" he said. "You're weird."
"Yea," I replied. "So are you! But would you rather have Chyna or grow old with a clowder of cats?"
"Clowder?"
"Look it up." I collapsed on the orange sofa. Interesting factoid: the color orange was named after the fruit. "Just trust me. I know better than you."
"But..."
"Don't argue."
"You're crazy," He replied. "I mean, crazier than usual." Then he walked out the door. I was cool with that. Any extra time without Fletcher and I'm good.
Fletcher's POV: Go out. With Olive. Ew. I can't blame her for wanting to date me, though. I'm hot. It's just she's not.
I was walking down the hall to Mr. Marceau's classroom when I ran into Violet.
"I heard you asked out Chyna." Does information really travel that fast?
"Yea."
"I heard she rejected you."
"Yea."
"Good." Violet rubbed herself up to me and stood on her tiptoes. She batted her eyelashes. "Now you have time for me!"
"No," I said, trying not to get flipped. "Now I have time for science."
Violet made a growling noise. I stepped back a bit. "Fine, Fletchy. Later," she snarled.
I stayed looking alert until it was time to go back to the ANT Farm. But my mind was really contemplating my options. Cats, Violet, or Olive. When I did enter the ANT Farm, though, I knew what I had to do.
Chyna was in the corner of the room, by the sound booth, working on a new song. It sounded amazing. Olive was at the front desk.
I took a deep breath. Trying not to look like I was about to go un-clog a toilet, I went over to Olive.
"O-o-Olive, I, um," I said. "I, I, I just can't look you in the face and say it!"
"Clowder," Olive snapped.
"Would you like to date me?" I murmured.
Olive's POV: Not even a $1,000 chemistry set could make up for the answer I had to give to Fletcher. I wonder how many times I'll have to tell myself it was for Chyna. So far the answer is 43. 44. 45.
Chyna's initial reaction was not as expected, either. She was not jealous. Oh no.
"Awe, look at the love-birds!" she squealed. "I always knew you didn't really hate each other!"
Ha.
"That's right!" Fletcher squirmed. He reluctantly put his arm around me. "She's mine."
"Everything he said." I smiled. Is it wrong it didn't feel too forced? "Except, change the pronoun to he. Interesting factoid about pronouns: The..."
"How sweet!" Chyna cut me off. "You guys are perfect for each other."
It took exactly 48% of my will power not to gag right there.
"Wait!" Chyna said. "What will happen when Violet finds out about this?"
Finally something to think about. "I don't know."
Fletcher looked panicked. I don't think that thought crossed his mind, either.
"She'll just deal with it," Chyna said. Fletcher and I just stared at her.
"You are officially crazy." Fletcher took his arm off me. I felt my shoulders slouch. "I have to go." And with that, he dashed off into the panic room.
Thanks Violet. You unknowingly scared away my fake boyfriend.
Fletcher's POV: I sat in the panic room, rocking back and forth in the fetal position, thinking once again, Does information really travel that fast?
"Fletchy!" Violet screamed and kicked down the door. "I knew you were in here."
I guess the answer to that is, in fact, yes.
"Hey Violet," I said and stood up.
"I heard some very interesting news, Fletchy."
"You did?"
"Olive!" Violet turned and death-stared Olive. Olive just shrugged. "You could have anyone and youchose her?" Violet said 'her' like it was some sort of swear. "Whatever." And then she flipped me and walked away.
So, Violet really has taken my breath away. Olive walked over and pulled me up by my right hand. I can't be the only one that though she held onto it too long after I was back on my feet.
"Thanks."
"Welcome." She pushed her hair behind her ear. "What are friends for?"
"We're friends?"
"We're dating!" I shot her a weird look. "I mean platonically."
"I still don't know what that means."
Insert really long awkward pause here.
Olive's POV: Spaghetti sauce should contain oregano, basil, parsley, water, garlic, onion, salt, pepper, olive oil, sugar, tomato paste, sausage, and diced tomatoes. Not spare cat appendages. I sat down at my normal lunch table between Chyna and Angus and began picking tail out of my teeth. Or maybe that was ear...
Chyna coughed the kind of cough you do when you're hiding a phrase or faking a cold. "Oh no. I must be sick." Sarcasm noted. She pretended to sneeze into her napkin. "You wouldn't want to catch my germs Olive." She nudged me twice in the side. I just shot an evil look in her direction. "OK, OK! You and Fletcher are dating. You should sit next to him!"
I looked at Fletcher. He was franticly shaking his head back and forth and flapping his hands. He looked a bit like a duck about to take flight.
I picked up my stuff and took the chair next to Fletcher. He glared at me. I smiled.
"You should kiss!" Chyna couldn't have screamed that any louder if she had tried. "Unless, of course, this is a scam like last time." She laughed.
"Actually, it is a..." Fletcher said. What in the world could have interrupted him?
Fletcher's POV: To quote the most annoying person in the room, 'What the heck?'
I was telling Chyna it was a scam- I was just dating Olive so that she'd get jealous- when it happened.
Olive leaned in.
And kissed me.
I just sat there a minute afterward. Olive was smiling. So was Chyna. Angus looked like the world had just imploded. My jaw was on the floor. I then got up and dashed into the boys' bathroom.
I went into the last stall. I pressed myself against the tile wall and sunk to the floor. I shoved my head into my hands but I wasn't crying.
I wasn't running from Olive. Or Chyna. Or Angus. I wasn't even really running from the kiss. I was running from the fact that I liked it.
I heard a bell ring. It was time to go back to the ANT Farm. I didn't care if it was time to go home, because my butt wasn't moving.
I heard a knock on my stall door. "Fletcher!" Angus called. "Come out of there!"
Slowly I rose up and opened the door. Angus's arms were crossed. "I thought you hated Olive."
I really didn't feel like having that conversation. I pushed passed Angus and went to the ANT Farm.
Olive's POV: Honestly, why did I think he'd react any different? He hates me! And after years and years, I'd finally convinced myself I hated him too. Why couldn't it just stay that way?
And now he hates me more. I'm sure Angus hates me also and Violet won't be singing my praises.
I walked over to Chyna who was sitting on the sofa.
"Hi Chyna."
"Olive!" Chyna said. "I have a question for you."
"Sure."
"What was Fletcher going to say?"
And... I lost it.
I said everything that happened. I told her about the fake date and my suppressed feelings.12 minutes later, tears were streaming down my face.
"...And, even though I didn't really at first, that is why I like Fletcher," I finished telling Chyna.
"Really?" I turned to see Fletcher standing in the doorway.
"How long have you been there?" I stood up and walked over to Fletcher.
"11 minutes. I heard everything."
"You did?"
"Yea."
We just stood there for 27 seconds. Worst 27 seconds of my life.
"Me too," Fletcher said. Then he slid his hand into mine.
"QUIMBY!" Angus screamed and ran into the ANT Farm. He was dressed as a pirate with a sword drawn. "Time to walk the plank!"
And with that I backed slowly away.
