"Redemption"
Summary: Natasha gave out markers to people she had hurt in the past. Clint has one. Hmm.
A/N: So duh I wrote this after reading Avengers Assemble #13, which is AWESOME! If you don't have it go buy it NOW, and email DeConnick & tell her how awesome she and how much you love that she started the teasing between Clint & Natasha & that we eventually want these two to end up together! & obviously I don't own the characters. As always, DeConnick, Fraction, Spencer, Marvel people, you want my story, it's yours, for FREE! As long as you use it for a Clint & Natasha romance/partnership/friendship/etc, that is ;)
Rated T for sexiness (no sex) and swearing
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flashback – yesterday
Clint left his bathroom in just his boxers. Kate was grateful for that much, at least. He'd showered after another long day of getting his ass kicked and went straight to his fridge. He grabbed a beer and went into his room.
Kate waited, and contemplated her 'mentor.' For a hero and an Avenger he sure could let his guard down at times. He walked out of his bedroom, something in his hand. He kept his eyes on whatever it was as he walked over to a window in his living area. The one that had a view of Avengers tower.
He rested there, his hands on the window sill, as he gazed into the night. Never knowing him to be particularly contemplative, his behavior made Kate a bit concerned. He sighed, and looked down to one hand again. He looked at the item, then started tossing it into the air.
No, flipping it, like a coin. She focused her gaze. It was a coin. A dark coin with some kind of red marking…
Curiosity getting the best of her, she stood and made her way to the almost-naked archer as quietly as she could. Lucky helped her out, standing as she did, and trotting over to his master, his noise possibly covering up any she was making. He looked down at the dog who now sat at his feet just in time to see movement out of the corner of his eye.
She snatched the 'coin' mid-air as he flipped it, but he caught her arm and flipped her over onto her back hard. His other hand was already raised, ready to crash down on her face when recognition hit him.
"Damnit Kate, don't sneak up on me!"
"Well be more observant, HAWKEYE," she hissed, then held the 'coin' up. "What's this?"
He snatched it back from her. "Nothing," he spat as he stood and headed back to his room, intent on some clothing.
Kate rose and crossed her arms, waiting as he dressed. "If it's nothing then why does it have the Widow's mark on it?"
"That," he said as he emerged from his room dressed and carrying two bows, "is none of your damn business."
She looked at the bows. They were new. One was her size. "Oh no you don't. You're not bribing me out of this information, Hawkeye…"
He smiled. "Oh yes I am, my young padawan."
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"So, just what is it between you and Clint?" No one ever said Kate Bishop wasn't forward.
Natasha held her breath for a moment. "Excuse me?"
"You know, your history. He says you two have history. What is it?"
She took a sip of her drink, feigning non-chalance. "If Clint didn't want to explain it to you why do you think I do?"
"Because Clint's well, Clint. You seem more, reasonable."
Natasha rolled her eyes. "Flattery won't get you anywhere, Hawkeye. Besides, you know that I'm a private person."
Kate looked down. "Could I try guilt? I was just kind of hoping to understand both you guys better, you know, bond a little…"
Natasha looked over at her partner's protégé. She wasn't lying at least, and she'd become such a big part of Clint's life…
"I promise not to tell anyone."
Natasha squinted her eyes. "Have you ever been tortured for information before?"
"Wha… why would you need to know that?"
The Black Widow grinned. "No reason. Sit down."
A grin formed over Kate's face as she sat down on the couch. Lucky followed and sat at her feet.
"Back when I was still working for the KGB and under the control of the Red Room, I… used Clint, to try and complete a mission. When my handlers deemed the mission a failure they called me home and I left, without saying goodbye."
"So what? What was the big deal?"
Natasha looked down. "By using him I mean, I…"
"Oh, ok. You didn't get the name 'Black Widow' for nothing, right?"
"Right. I seduced him, manipulated him, caused him to fall in love with me. I used him for my mission objective and left him when it was deemed he was no longer of use. I…"
"You broke his heart."
"… that's not really for me to say, Kate."
The Young Avenger looked out into the distance. "Wow. So, you were like his first love then. Crazy. No wonder he can't forget…"
"Be careful where your thoughts take you, Kate. It's far more complex than you realize."
"Yeah… ok. Shut my mouth, I get it." Kate rose, to leave, picking up her bow on the way out. "But Natasha, I think you of all people should realize that some emotions really aren't all that complicated."
If only she was right.
Or was she?
All those years ago she had wanted to stay. Part of her had wanted to run away with this cocky American archer and never be found again. But another part still wanted the pride of being the Black Widow, the motherland's best weapon. Another part feared for her and Clint's lives should she leave. So, she did what she was trained to do. She did what came natural.
She shut down her heart and left.
She sighed. It was a nasty pattern with him she still hadn't been able to completely kick.
She valued their friendship and partnership too much, she told herself. It wasn't worth risking with romance, she told herself. He would be happier with someone else, she told herself.
But there are only so many lies one could think of until one's own heart got suspicious…
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Flashback: (I'm thinking maybe after a 'future' Secret Avengers mission).
She was lying in a hospital bed. Where was she? She kept her eyes closed in case she had been apprehended.
She noticed the smells and sounds confirming her location, but no more. Then she heard a shouting in the hall outside. A scuffle. More male shouting. Heavy footsteps retreating.
Silence.
Then soft footsteps approaching. The door opened. She controlled her heart rate and breathing. The person stopped at her bedside for a moment, then she felt a rough hand on hers.
"Tasha…" She relaxed. She knew that voice. She was safe.
"Please, don't ever do that to me again…"
Hmm. She must have gotten hurt somehow. But when she tried to think of how it was all fuzzy…
His other hand brushed her cheek. "Please tell me you're going to be ok…"
Taking a deep breath she tried to open her eyes a little. They were heavy, and not yet moving.
"I need you Nat, please…"
She tried again, and opened her mouth. "Clint…"
"… I love you."
NOW here eyes were open.
"…wh… what?"
He looked horrified. She'd been able to act unconscious far TOO well. This was NOT something he'd planned on saying to her while she was conscious. Not yet at least. And for good reason.
"…I … um, you…"
She panicked. She can't be dealing with this now. "Get out."
"But… Nat…"
She turned her head away to hide the tears forming in the sides of her eyes. She spoke softer now. "Barton, please just… leave."
Her hand burned when he moved his away and her heart screamed for him to stay as he silently shut the door behind him. She cried into her pillow until she could find sleep again.
The next morning Clint returned with flowers and an apology speech prepared. He even rehearsed it in his head on the way. "You know I didn't mean it like THAT, Tasha. It's just, I thought you were going to die, and, you're the closest thing I have to family anymore, and…"
When he opened her door he found the window opened and the Widow gone.
He sighed. "Fury's gonna be pissed…"
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She'd avoided him for months after that, trying to do different missions and keeping things cold and professional when they did have to work together.
She'd run away. Again.
Was that it? She was just afraid of this, thing she and Clint shared? She'd overcome the Red Room, countless villains with the Avengers, even done all she could to make up for the sins of her past, and yet she couldn't face her own partner?
Eventually she'd made her way back into his life, slowly, to avoid whiplash. He'd picked up with the old banter, and she felt at home again. Her heart relaxed, and felt content.
Until he cornered her.
They were having a nice evening together. An honest-to-god nice, relaxing evening.
They'd gone climbing at a local rock gym during the day and were relaxing at his apartment with some pizza, beer, and a nice vodka from her private stash. She'd brought a comedy to watch, and she hadn't felt so relaxed in a long time.
Then Clint dropped the bomb.
Or, more precisely, his marker.
She stared at the red and black chip as it spun and then settled on the coffee table.
She whispered, "is that what I think it is?"
He looked at her with intense eyes. "I'm here to redeem my marker, Natasha Romanov."
She paled. Her breathing and heart rate spiked. She looked back at him, fear in her eyes.
She opened her mouth, then closed it. She just couldn't find the words.
She swallowed. "What… do you want, Clint?"
He answered, taking her face in his hands and kissing her deeply. She opened her mouth to him and he took full advantage. His hands slid over her arms, her waist, her hips…
Then she was moving, not breaking the kiss, moving onto his lap. He moaned into her mouth as she settled on him, fisting his hair in her hands. She arched her head back as he started kissing down her neck.
"God Tasha, I've waited so long…"
She froze in his arms as her brain starting working again. All the old lies flooded her thoughts. She couldn't do this, it would ruin everything, what if it didn't work out, he was too good of a friend, she wasn't good enough for him, someone else would be able to give him everything he wanted…
He paused, sensing her hesitation. "Tash?"
"I…" she moved off of him and back onto the couch. She looked down at the marker, avoiding his eyes. "…what do you need, Clint? How… how do you want to redeem the marker?"
He stood, and started to pace. "God, Tash, not like that. I'm not asking for sex. I just…" He frowned when she still avoided his eyes. He gently took her chin in his hand, bringing her eyes to his.
"I need some help, Nat."
She furrowed her brows a little. "Okay?"
He took a deep breath. "Okay. You see, there's this amazing woman I know, and… we've had some rough times in the past, some bad history, but she's always been there when I needed her. She's my best friend and partner and I love her and I trust her with my life."
He looked back to see a deer in headlights. Oh boy.
"But, you see, I don't know what she feels about me. I keep getting all these mixed signals from her, and it's like I can see her reaction to me but then she shuts it down."
Natasha lowered her head. He really did know her too well.
"Natasha, I… I need your help. I need to know how she feels. What she's really feeling, what's really going on in that head of hers."
He kneeled down next to her, speaking softer now. "Tash, I need to know how you feel about me. If this… if we… if you could consider loving me?"
She wanted to take him in her arms right then and there, to kiss him breathless and make him forget his own name, but the fear battled hard with her heart long enough for the old training to awaken.
She hardened her entire body, and he noticed.
She stood and starting walking towards the door without another word. He rushed after her, and grabbed her arm.
"NO! You're not doing that AGAIN! You don't get to run away from me all over again!"
"Clint I…" she looked up at him, tears escaping her eyes, "… I just, can't…"
He melted. He released her and sighed, pacing the floor some and rubbing one hand through his hair.
"Shit Nat, I…"
"No Clint, it's me. I'm a mess. Even still. I OWE you an explanation, an answer, at the VERY least, but I just can't . Not yet. Please…"
He shook his head. "It's my fault. I got impatient. I mean, you only recently got your memories of Bucky back…"
His cell phone rang, then hers. They were needed aboard the Hellicarrier. Pick up in 30.
"I gotta go get my stuff Clint…"
"Yeah. Okay," he murmured, flipping the marker then catching it again. A sly grin spread across his face. "You get a pass for now, Natasha. But I'm keeping this little guy on me at all times from now on, and I'm going to call up my debt sooner or later…"
She exhaled a deep breath, then walked back to him. "I know. And I'll try to figure things out so I can actually answer you with the truth."
He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
A small smile formed on her lips. "Really." She gently pressed her lips to his.
He stood stunned as she walked out the door. "See you in 30."
THANK YOU to my betas …! Please review if you have a moment.
& don't forget to tell Marvel that you want Clint & Natasha to end up together in the movies AND the comics! Post on the marvel . com forums and email: mheroes marvel . com
Also, I have a big idea for a ton of stories or a series about the redemption of these markers. I say DeConnick should write a Black Widow mini-series with the idea. She's allowed to use ANY of my stuff for that purpose (not that she needs it, but when the muse speaks, one must listen). I already have a rough outline! It'll probably be several one-shots that I'll eventually put together into a series. That seems to be working for my muse right now. Don't forget to 'follow' me so you'll get every new story!