THE WIND STOPPED BLOWING
It's in her eyes. Drawn out, tired sad. She's done fighting. And so am I.
It's on the ground, her blood-red life force spilling into puddles. I can't help but notice that one of the puddles is in the shape of a rabbit. She likes rabbits. We were going to buy one tomorrow. But tomorrow won't come for her now.
She's here, I'm here. I'm so lost.
It's been hell getting here. It's been absolute hell staying here, but it's been worth it. So worth it. And now it seems like it's coming to an end.
We've been in this position before; we've walked this walk, danced this dance. But this time, neither of us is going to be walking away. Because I know she's going to die, and I know that the part of me that makes me who I am is going to die right here with her.
She knows it too. I can tell she knows it. It's written in the lines on her face. The hard lines creasing together in her forehead, the pain climaxing and bottoming out, and then starting back up again. Little gasps are coming from her mouth, in puffs of white mist. It's cold tonight, but she's getting colder.
I'm thinking a lot about "here". I barely even know what "here" is anymore. I guess it's in that safe haven of blissful love that two people could fall into without even knowing how or why it happened. "Here" was safe in her arms. Safe in the place I could finally call home. Home amidst the evil traipsing across Sunnydale's terrain. Home was undeniably with her.
So now that she's dying, does that mean I'm homeless? Am I just going to be one of those crazy bag ladies, bumming around town, getting eaten by vampires in the dead of night? Am I going to feed on rats and crumbs to survive? Doubtful, because without her I know I'm dead already.
I can feel it in our Slayer bond. The taut familiar tingles creeping up my neck I normally feel when she's close are quickly becoming nothing more than a numb sensation, like a dull ache of a phantom limb. I start to cry.
"Baby?" I question. I push a lock of her hair behind her ear, as though it really makes a difference. I'm sure other things are bothering her more right now. Her eyes are closed for the moment, as if consciously willing the pain to leave her body. She looks so scared.
"B?" she asks back. It makes me so sad to know that after tonight I'll never hear that one simple letter escape her mouth again. "B? I…I…" She trails off, as if forming those few syllables has drawn all her strength from her.
"I'm right here. I promise," I whisper. She forces her eyes open, their dark brown color penetrating my heart, even as the light in them fades. Her eyes linger on my face, then down to the blood covering her lower half. The wound is hidden under the blood. I can't think about it now. The wound is unimportant. Making her last few moments on Earth as comfortable as possible and making sure she knows I love her takes precedence in my mind.
"Don't look at it Faith, just look at me," I gently tell her, averting her attention back to me. I cup her cheek softly and turn her head to look me directly in the eyes.
"B, it wasn't supposed to be this way, it wasn't…I…we…" she trails off, a tear coming to the corner of her eye. "We were supposed to grow old together," she finishes in the softest voice I've ever heard her use. Softer than when she whispered "I love you's" into my ear after hours of making love, and she was exhausted and on the verge of sleep. I never thought I would hear her speak in a more tired tone then than those nights…those nights that we nearly broke beds and dented walls, and more than a few bed sheets were left in tatters.
"I know. I know how much we wanted to do that. How good a nice retirement home vacation would have been. How sexy you would have looked with gray hair," I end, trying to make her smile.
It works; Faith's lips curl up a fraction. "Yeah, I was really looking forward to seeing you kick ass playing shuffleboard." She closes her eyes tight as another circuit of pain washes over her. I grip her hand a little tighter and stroke her hair off her forehead. Goddess, even in death she's beautiful.
I want to break down right now. My heart is pounding, my limbs are shaking a little, and the tears are ready to burst through, faster than they are already coming out. I have to stay strong for her though. She hates seeing me cry.
"Hey Faith? You'll wait for me over there won't you? On the Other Side?" Her eyes narrow and she looks me straight in the eyes, as if staring into my soul.
"Always yours B. Only yours," she responds, in the strongest voice she can muster.
I can feel her strength diminishing. Her breath is coming in shallow bursts. I wish breathing didn't look so painful for her.
"Buffy, I…I just want to say…I love you so much. You have made me who I am and –"
"Shhh" I try to cut her of, hoping that if she keeps herself from talking she will be in less pain.
"No B. I have to say this," she wheezes out. "You are my life, and I'm glad I got to spend the time I had left here with you. Thank you. Thank you for making me who I am, someone I could live with being, and someone I can die being content with. I love you," she finishes. As she says the last word, her voice breaks and her tears flow. The dam bursts behind my eyes and my tears drip onto her already saturated shirt.
"Faith, don't leave me," I mutter softly. "Don't leave me here with the evil in the world. Take me with you, take me with you so I can be with you forever."
"You have to stay here B. You have to look after little sis and the gang. They need you more than I do. I'll die knowing that you loved me. But you have to keep them from that same fate. Keep them alive. And as long as you're alive, I'll be there in your heart."
"You're so brave," I say proudly, a small smile creeping to my lips. She is; she's dying, and she's courageously letting me go. And here I sit, cowardly and scared. I don't want to be without her.
"And you're perfect," she responds.
"I love you B," she states in the strongest, most unwavering voice she's mustered since the dying began.
My hand firmly around hers, and my other hand cupped around her face, brushing her cheek with my thumb, I lean forward and kiss her gently on the lips. "I love you too," I reply, my face mere centimeters from her lips. "And I always will."
Her eyes start to blink shut, her lips tremble and her body shudders a little bit, the last of the pain making itself known. My tears are spilling all over her front, bouncing off, rolling to the ground. The ground stained with her blood. Blood and tears.
The wind picked up speed, my hair blowing around my face, Faith's wavy hair fanning around her head like an angel. The air around us got colder with wind chill, the trees swaying as unforgiving gusts struck their branches.
Her eyes opened one last time; her hands reach around my head and pull me close. "Never forget", she whispered into my ear. She moved my lips to hers and kissed them, our lips touching one final time.
I pulled away and stared at her face, into her brown beauties. Then they fluttered shut, closed to the world of the living. My hands grasped the side of her face, feeling the last of the warmth leaving her cheeks. Her breath came out once more, and her chest stills.
She stopped breathing.
And the wind stopped blowing.
AN: Alright, I hope whoever reads this likes it. This was designed to just be a one shot, but if there's anything that anybody wants to know about, or maybe see that could be done, let me know. This might have a couple more chapters in it. You'll just have to review and see :]