A/N This OS was written for the fantabulous ToberLove for Christmas.
Thank you to Angie (Avcbones) and Mary (brainysmrfs) for all your wonderful help.
As per usual, feedback is appreciated.
"You're going and that's that!"
Temperance Brennan sighed heavily, before turning to face one very annoyed artist. Angela was watching her with a determined look on her face, her arms crossed in front of her as she waited for a response.
"I have remains to identify, Angela. I'm busy, and I don't have time to go to a meaningless party." She said stubbornly.
"One. The body will still be there tomorrow. Two. When aren't you busy?" Brennan opened her mouth to speak, but Angela cut her off. "And Three. This is YOUR book launch, Bren. Yours. You can't not go. Your publisher will be furious if you are a no show."
Brennan couldn't refute that point. The two friends continued to stare at each other, neither one willing to back down. Brennan's mind was working rapidly, trying to think of an excuse that would satisfy Angela. In the end, she couldn't think of anything, and Angela grinned at the resigned look on her friend's face.
"Glad that you can see the wisdom in my words," Brennan scowled at her. "So. Be ready at seven. Jack's sending a car for you. Don't make me come and get you." She waited for Brennan to nod grudgingly. "Thank you, sweetie," she said, moving to embrace Brennan. When she pulled back, she smiled. "You won't regret it." She added before bidding her a goodbye and leaving to get back to work.
Brennan watched her leave, a sad look crossing her face once she was sure she was alone.
"I already do." She whispered softly to herself, before forcing her body into movement and returning to work.
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She stood on the edge of the dance floor, gazing across the room lost in her own thoughts, oblivious to the fun happening around her. Her mind was focused on one thing and one thing only. Her partner. Her best friend...or at least the man that used to be her best friend. He was supposed to have arrived an hour ago but so far, he had failed to make an appearance, and his absence was all she could focus on. It'd been two weeks since they'd last seen each other. Two weeks since they'd had any form of communication, but he'd promised that he'd go and she knew that he wouldn't lie to her. Plus, she'd missed him. Even the knowledge that he would be arriving with Hannah on his arm couldn't completely destroy her anticipation of the moment, though her mind refused to contemplate the probable reasons for his lateness. Sometimes, it really felt better off not knowing.
"Sweetie."
She knew that Hannah's presence was really a blessing in disguise. This way, she wouldn't say anything she would regret, and maybe she and Booth could get back to the place they used to be. Before that one night two weeks ago.
"Sweetie!"
Brennan turned swiftly at the sound of her best friend's voice, surprised by her sudden appearance.
"Where were you?" Angela asked as she wrapped her arms around the anthropologist "You didn't hear me calling."
"Sorry," Brennan replied, returning the artist embrace. "I was just...remembering."
"Ooooh," Angela said, as she pulled back to smirk at her friend. "Anything juicy? I'm a respectable married woman now, so I need to live vicariously!" Brennan couldn't help but laugh. Angela glared at her for a second before giggling herself. "OK, so I've never been respectable but that's not the point!"
"It was nothing important." Brennan claimed with a small shrug.
"Hmmmm" Angela said, shooting her a look full of doubt. "I find that your version of unimportant and mine differ drastically." When Brennan remained stubbornly silent, Angela gave up. "Fine, sweetie. Keep your secrets. Now, where's that gorgeous partner of yours? He is still coming?" she questioned with a smile, peering around her as if he'd suddenly appear.
"Last time we spoke, he said he would so he'll be here." Brennan stated confidently.
"When was that?" Angela asked out of curiosity. Her friend stayed silent. "Oh no, Bren. You're not saying..." she trailed off in disbelief, watching her friend closely for some sign that she was mistaken. When none was forthcoming she groaned. "You're telling me that you haven't spoken to him in two weeks? What the hell happened between you two, Bren?" she demanded.
Brennan stopped hearing her friend's demands for an explanation, her thoughts drifting back to her last encounter with her partner. Even now, with two weeks distance from that night, she was unsure of how it all went so wrong.
"Bones?"
Brennan turned at the sound of his voice, wiping her face quickly in the hopes of masking the tears that had fallen. She should have known that he was too observant for that.
At the sight of her tear stained face, Booth felt his heart ache, even now the sight of her pain always managing to undo him. He walked swiftly to where she was curled on her couch, kneeling down beside her so he was on her level. She wanted to look away from him, but the sincere concern in his eyes wouldn't allow her to.
"What happened, Bones? Are you ok? Is it Max? Russ? Amy and the girls?" he asked urgently, his tired mind imaging the worst. Had there been an accident? Was someone hurt? Had Max been arrested again? His jaw clenched at the thought. If Max had hurt the woman in front of him again, so help him, there wouldn't be a place that he could hide.
A sudden movement from Brennan drew his attention, and he snapped out of in his inner musings to focus on her once more. She was shaking her head quickly from side to side, not looking at him but keeping her gaze locked on something on the far side of the her room.
"Look at me, Bones." He demanded. When she remained unmoving, he gripped her chin in his hand and forced her face towards his. "Temperance"
The sound of her name coming from his lips shocked her, and her gaze flew to his. She couldn't remember the last time that he'd called her by her given name. He looked so worried for her, so concerned, that her automatic reactions took over, and she did her best to reassure him.
"It's unimportant, Booth. I'm fine. I really am." She said, forcing a smile to her face as she tried to put him at ease. Their interactions had been so limited lately that she was loathed spending this time with him discussing her small moment of weakness.
"Bullshit" The sudden expletive coming from her partner made Brennan jump."This is me you're talking to, Bones. I know you. That's not gonna wash with me, so spill it."
"Booth" Brennan said warningly "I can't discuss this with you so please. Stop."
"I'm not going to stop, Bones. You're my partner and you're hurting. I just want to help, so let me," he pleaded gently.
"I said that I can't discuss it with you, Booth!" She whispered angrily, getting frustrated with his refusal to let her build her walls back up. She watched as he finally understood her meaning, her heart hurting at the pain that flashed in his eyes before his gaze hardened.
"Right" he said, slowly moving to stand on his feet."I understand. You don't want to talk to me" he was unable to completely mask the hurt, his voice cracking on the last word. "That's fine. But you need to talk to someone, Bones." He stated, before turning away from her to leave her alone. It was obviously what she wanted.
Brennan watched him walk towards her door, knowing that it was better for him to leave before she let slip something that would change things forever. So she was shocked to hear her own voice calling his name.
"Booth."
He froze by the door but didn't turn to face her.
"I can't talk to you about it because..." she trailed off, her brain reminding her of all the reasons this was a bad idea.
"Because" he asked softly, turning to face her again.
"It's you." She whispered.
"Me?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"The reason for my...distress. It's you...and me. I suppose that you could say it's us." She explained with a sad smile.
Booth shook his head slowly as he tried to process her words.
"I don't...what?" he walked slowly back towards her, coming to a stop directly in front of her. "I don't understand." His eyes begged her for an answer. One he could deal with.
"Booth" The veiled question in her voice clear for him to hear. He nodded stiltedly. Brennan nodded in reply, gathering her courage. "I've realised that I made an error in judgement. I reacted to a situation and... I was wrong. My reasoning was flawed and I ...I made a mistake, Booth. A mistake that I can't take back nor fix." No explanations were needed. He knew without her saying the words what she was referring to, and the twinge in his heart reminded him of the pain he'd felt. "And every so often something happens that reminds me of that fact and tonight was one of those nights. Hence what you walked in on."
Booth had remained silent throughout her speech, but as soon as she'd finished speaking, he turned sharply away from her. He took two strides away from her before stopping, his hands clenching at his sides.
"You couldn't have told me this 10 months ago! Before I left for Afghanistan. Before..."
"Before Hannah." Brennan said softly from behind him.
He turned to face her, automatically moving towards her, unable to bare the pain in her eyes.
"Before Hannah." He agreed lowly, stopping immediately in front of her once more. "I love her." He stated into the silence.
"I know" Brennan smiled sadly at him. "And I'm glad. She's what you need. She can be what you deserve. I'm happy for you." She could feel her eyes fill at her words, but she tried valiantly to stop them falling.
"Oh god, Bones" Booth groaned, moving closer to her and cupping his hands on either side of her face. "I can't be the reason for your pain. I just can't."His tortured gaze held her own. "You are everything...you were everything." He corrected quickly, before sighing to himself and resting his forehead on hers. "Maybe you still are. God, I don't know." He said softly to himself, but Brennan's sharp hearing picked up on it.
"Booth...this is my problem. Let me handle it my way. Hannah...she loves you. She's what you've always wanted and I know that." She said firmly, wanting to do anything to comfort him.
"You were what I'd always wanted, Bones. You were. The only person who didn't realise that was you!" His voice rose as he spoke, making him thankful for the lateness of the hour. Booth felt rather than saw Brennan shake her head.
"I'm not what you need, Booth...I'm defective." She whispered to herself.
Booth pulled back sharply from her and glared down fiercely at her.
"Don't. You are...just don't." He returned his hands to her face, moving his head closer to hers. "You are NOT defective. You are one of the most incredible people I have ever met." His head moved even closer as she gazed at him, clinging onto his every word. "You are strong." He stroked a finger down her cheek. "Smart." His finger brushed once over her lips, causing her to gasp softly. "Beautiful" he whispered and he leant closer, aiming a kiss on her cheek.
He missed his mark, and landed a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth. The two of them froze, both fighting an internal battle. Brennan turned her head slightly, her body feeling unlike her own as it moved on its own accord. Booth could feel her breath on his lips and he met her gaze, seeing the same conflict within her own eyes. His gaze then drifted to her mouth, and watched as it parted slightly. Even as his brain screamed at him to get out, and leave now he closed the remaining distance between them.
The kiss started off softly, but then Brennan parted her lips further and swiped her tongue out, touching it to Booth's lips. On a groan, he deepened the kiss, gripping her hips and pulling her closer. The feel of her body against his caused Booth to groan again, and he began to move her back gradually only stopping when she hit the desk.
Brennan gasped as her back hit the desk, allowing Booth further entry into her mouth. The feel of him in front of her and the desk behind her aroused her unbearably, and she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck as she pressed her body further into him. She felt his arms move from her hips to her stomach, and shivered as he moved them up under her shirt. He was just about to cup her breasts when she felt him freeze, and she groaned in disappointment. She opened her eyes and blinked up at him in confusion.
Booth removed his hands from Brennan's tempting body and stepped back, reaching into his pocket to pull out the ringing phone. As he answered and placed it on his ear, he watched as realisation dawned on Brennans face. She corrected her clothing and stood up, moving around to the other side of her desk.
"Booth" he answered gruffly, guilt painted on his face when he recognised the caller. "Hi" he said with a wince, turning around so his back was to Brennan. "I'm fine, just lost track of time...ok, I'm glad you enjoyed it...yeah, I'll be home soon." He listened to her for a minute, running a tired hand across his face. "Yeah" he said softly "Love you too".
He hung up the phone and pocketed it, regaining his composure before turning back to face his partner.
"That was Hannah." He said quietly.
"I know" she answered softly.
They stared at one another in silence, neither one wanting to confront what had almost happened.
"I should get home." He said to break the now awkward silence.
"You should."She remained unmoving, holding herself together by the skin of her teeth.
"OK then. I'll see you...sometime." he added uncomfortably. She just nodded at him so he turned to leave. He was at the door when he turned back to face her.
"I can't be that guy, Bones. Not even for you." He said almost fiercely before turning and walking away swiftly.
Brennan stood stock still for a moment, waiting until she was sure that he was gone before moving round her desk on unsteady legs. She walked back to her couch and took up her previous position. She took the time to thank Booth's mythical god for ensuring she was alone. And then she broke.
"Sweetie?" Angela called, her expression changing to one of concern when she got no response, her friend continuing to stare vacantly into the distance, a sad smile adorning her face. "Bren" she said again, before moving directly in front of her in the hopes of gaining her attention. She watched as Brennan seemed to shake herself out of the state she was in, pasting a fake smile on her face.
"Sorry, Angela. What was your question?" she asked politely.
"I wanted to know what happened with Booth." Angela said slowly, worried for her friend.
"Oh nothing happened, Angela. Nothing bad anyway. We've both just been busy, these things happen." She explained, taking care to keep her voice even as she lied to her friend. She hated lying to her, but she knew that she couldn't tell her the truth.
"You expect me to believe that?" Angela questioned in disbelief.
"Yes I do, because it's the truth." She stated firmly, her eyes daring Angela to argue with her.
Angela was about to do just that, but was interrupted by her husband as he bounded up to them.
"There you are, babe. Booth and Hannah have just got here, and we're all going to get a drink it and find a table. Coming?" he asked with a smile, talking to both women. As they continued to stare at one another, his smile fell, and he looked between the two in confusion. "Am I interrupting something?
"Yes" Angela said.
"No" Brennan said with a smile. "We were just on our way anyway, weren't we, Ange?" She asked her friend, the warning clear in her voice. Angela sent her a look that said 'we'll be finishing this later', before smiling at her husband.
"Yes, we were. Lead the way husband of mine." She exclaimed with a smile, making Jack laugh.
"Milady," he said with a slight bow before holding out his arm to Angela, and then the other to Brennan. "Shall we?"
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The trio made their way through the crowds, coming to a stop by a table in the corner of the room.
"Thought it'd be nice to be out of the way. Less likely to be pestered." Jack said by way of explanation at the girls' questioning looks.
The three sat down, beginning to chat as they waited on their friends to join them.
"Where are the rest of us?" Angela asked him, peering around the room as she searched for her friends.
"Cam and Sweets are at the bar. The interns are around here somewhere. And Booth and Hannah are..." he paused as his eyes landed on a couple walking towards them. "Just coming back from the dance floor!" he said with a smile in their direction.
Brennan followed his gaze, her gaze taking in the attractive couple heading towards them. They really are the perfect couple, she thought with a sad sigh, trying to ignore the ache near her heart. Jack stood up to greet them as did Angela. Then it was Brennan's turn. She stood up from the table and moved towards Hannah who proceeded to wrap her in a friendly hug.
"You look stunning, Temperance!" she said with a smile, before glancing behind her. "No date, tonight?" she asked. Brennan shook her head with a small smile, risking a glance at Booth who was looking determinedly elsewhere. "Maybe that's a good thing. Leaves you footloose and fancy free to explore your options! Seen anyone that takes your fancy?" she asked with a grin. She'd already decided to make it her mission to find Brennan a gorgeous man. She deserved to be happy, Hannah thought, maybe Angela could help?
This time Brennan didn't risk looking at Booth and just smiled in response to Hannah's comment.
"Maybe" she said noncommittally.
Hannah stepped away and turned to Booth, pulling him towards them both.
"Doesn't she look beautiful, Seeley. She'll be fighting them off with a stick tonight." She ended on a laugh.
"She does," he said seriously, meeting her eyes for the first time. He moved forward slowly, knowing it'd look odd if he didn't greet her properly. "Hey Bones," he said as he leant forward to lay a kiss on her cheek, one hand resting on her arm as he did so.
"Booth" she replied, forcing a smile to her lips, trying not to react to his close proximity.
"How have you been?" she asked politely.
"Good. You?" he asked in return.
"Good," she said with a nod.
They went silent, neither knowing how to ease the tension. Neither sure they wanted to, as to do that they would need to talk. Really talk. Luckily they were saved by the arrival of both Sweets and Cam with their drinks, and they managed to spend the next hour avoiding each other, only interacting when necessary.
"Angela" Jack said, standing up from his seat. "Will you grant me the honour of this dance?"
"I will," she replied with a grin, standing up to join him.
Sweets followed Jacks lead.
"Cam, would you like this dance?" he asked with a small smile.
Cam looked around at the others before glancing at the dance floor, watching the people thoroughly enjoying themselves for a moment.
"Sure, why not?" she replied with a shrug, taking the hand Sweets offered and allowing him to help her up.
Booth glanced at Hannah and Brennan, cursing the fact that they were the only remaining ones at their table. He needed to talk to Brennan but...he needed more time. He wanted more time.
"Seeley, I'm tired." Hannah said with a weary sigh.
"Wanna go home?" he asked, just managing to keep the hope from his voice.
"Absolutely not! I just need to sit here for a while longer, so why don't you ask Temperance to dance. It's pretty lively out there so it'll be fun!"She grinned at him, waiting for his agreement.
His mind worked rapidly as he tried to find a way out of it, but with an internal groan he realised there was none.
"Bones" he said as he stood. "Come and dance." His tone was anything but welcoming, but there was no way to refuse without making things more awkward than they already were.
"Sure Booth." She forced a smile on her face as she stood, and they both walked towards the dance floor in silence.
No sooner had they hit the dance floor than the music changed, a slow ballad coming on over the speakers. They faced each other awkwardly as the couples around them began to move to the music. There was no way to subtly extradite themselves from the floor, so they moved closer together, hands joined as they began to move slowly to the music. They kept a respectable distance between their bodies, silence still surrounding them, a silence that neither wanted to break. If they didn't speak, they didn't have to confront their past actions, something neither one was anxious to do.
Almost subconsciously, Booth's hand tightened on Brennan's waist, and he inched her closer to his body. She moved with him, until her body was brushing against his each time that they moved. For the first time that night, they both relaxed, enjoying the pleasure of being in the other's arms. Booth rested his head on hers gently, and Brennan inched even closer to him.
They lost track of time, neither knowing how long they danced like that. One slow song blended into another, and it was only when an up tempo beat began that they realised where they were...and how close they were. Booth pulled himself back from her gradually and glanced down at her, watching as the slightly dazed expression in her eyes faded as she remembered where they were. As he stared down at her, he realised the talk that he had been avoiding for two weeks needed to happen...and it needed to happen now.
He turned and strode off of the floor, heading toward a fire exit in the far corner of the room, knowing without looking that she was following him. He pushed the door open and held it for her, avoiding the weary look that she sent before she moved past him. As the door closed behind him, he moved to stand behind her, saying nothing as she stared vacantly out in front of her, her focus entirely on the man stood behind her.
"Bones...Temperance" he corrected softly. She turned slowly, lifting her head to force her eyes to meet his. At the look on his face, she lowered her head back down, unwilling to deal with the truth that she saw. For once Booth didn't make her look at him, knowing it was cowardly but finding it easier to say what he needed when he wasn't looking into her beautiful but sad eyes. "I've been offered a promotion. In Pennsylvania." He announced suddenly, unable to take the heavy silence that had fallen between them. She remained unmoving. "And I'm going to take it."
Brennan took a shaky breath as she listened to him. The information of his departure not coming as a surprise to her, even as the pain she felt at his words almost crippled her. She forced her head to nod in acknowledgement.
They stood before one another, neither speaking as Brennan looked past him and Booth stared down at her bowed head.
"Hannah can work anywhere and I need to make this work." He said quietly "And I can't do that if I see you every day." He added, his voice breaking on the last word.
At the pain in his voice, Brenan finally looked at him again, meeting his tortured gaze with one of her own.
"I understand, Booth," she said into the space between them. She looked deep into his eyes trying to convey the truth of her words to him, wanting to ease the guilt clearly etched on his face.
"Do you?" he asked gently, unable to resist cupping one hand gently over her cheek, caressing her soft skin slowly. She nodded stiltedly in reply, fighting back tears valiantly. One lone tear escaped, and Booth swiped it with his thumb, his heart hurting at the pain that he was causing this wonderful woman. At the pain he was causing them both.
"Hannah is..." she stopped suddenly, more tears forming behind her eyes. She took a deep breath. "Hannah is a wonderful woman, Booth, and I know you'll be very happy together. For thirty, forty or fifty years." Tears fell freely then, and she stopped trying to stem the flow. They both knew what was happening here, a few more tears would make no real difference.
The sight of her tears devastated Booth, as they always had. He gave up trying to keep any distance between them and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around. She resisted at first, denying herself the comfort of his embrace. He wouldn't let her go though, and in the end she gave in, allowing herself this one small comfort. They stood together, Booth's head resting gently on Brennan's, losing track of time as both thought back over the last 6 years, neither able to believe that it was coming to this. The end of their partnership. The end of their friendship.
Booth shifted slightly and lay a soft kiss on top of her head, lingering for a moment before pulling back. Brennan looked at him sadly, before extraditing herself from his arms.
"When do you leave?" she asked softly.
"One week."
"So soon?" she gasped before gathering herself together. "Good. That's good. New start for you both. It's...good." she finished inanely.
A tense silence fell between the two once more before Booth took another step back from her.
"We should join the others again, they'll be wondering where we are." He said gently.
Brennan nodded her agreement.
"Of course, Hannah will be waiting." She said with a small smile. "You go in, Booth. I'll join you in a minute."
"I can wait."
"No. Just...give me a minute on my own, ok?" she pleaded gently.
"Anything you want, Bones." he assured her, turning to leave her alone. He glanced back once to see her watching him with a sad smile on her face before he opened the door and walked through it. Once it had shut behind him, he paused leaning back against the door for support as he took a deep breath. He waited there for a few moments, trying to pull himself together before he joined his friends, knowing that they would sense something was wrong. He took a few more deep shuddering breaths, shocked as he felt something wet on his cheek. He raised a hand slowly to his face, wiping away the stray tear that had escaped. He allowed himself another minute to get his emotions in check before pushing away from the door slowly, and walking back to his friends. As he approached the table and met Hannah's gaze, he smiled tenderly, knowing that as hard as it had been he had done what was needed.
Brennan watched him leave with a sad smile, not reacting to his words before he left. As the door shut softly behind him, Brennan allowed her tears to flow freely once more.
"Not anything, Booth. Not anything."