Animal Crossing: Zombie Apocalypse Edition
By: Chys Lattes
Disclaimer: Animal Crossing New Leaf is not mine. Rover's new outfit, however, is. (Muahaha.)
A sign above the train entrance claims it will take passengers to "The town of Cheese..."
It was a slow descent into madness.
A lone cat is sitting on the seat of this train. Looking up with golden, gleaming eyes in a glazed-over vacant gaze, he begins to speak as if someone were there with him, "Let me tell you a little story about the town of 'Cheese'...or as I like to call it, the beginning of the end of civilization as Animal-kind knows it." The anthropomorphic cat has a wickedly evil looking fang-toothed grin, a dirty lop-sided hat hanging off of one ear, and the distinct odor of decay about him. He is missing an arm, and both hind paws. There is a watery, black substance leaking from where his missing appendages should have been. He pays it no mind, as if he doesn't feel it. It would be a bit frightening being near him, should anyone actually be brave enough to come close. Aside from him, the train is vacant.
He continues with his story, his voice a scratchy, painful sound, "A fortune teller once came to the young and thriving town of Cheese not long after a new mayor was instated. They'd even renamed the town for this new Mayor, touted quite a bit about him and how capable he would be at keeping things running smooth. Sure enough, he did, too, for a while. Where was I? Right, the fortune teller. She harped on the gruesome and frightening possibility that the town would be plagued with bad luck, but no one really took her seriously. She wandered the streets, barking her good luck wares, and no one ever listened... Except the mayor, whom seemed to be suffering from all that bad luck, all in one fell swoop. To say the least, the Mayor was a bit annoyed by it... until the inevitable realization that this was just the tip of the iceberg.
"If anyone had asked any of the innocent, blindly faithful residents on whether the Mayor had their best interest at heart they would have vehemently defended him. And the fortune teller? They would have declared her a quack. In those early days the kind, generous Mayor did everything he could for the town. Little did they know that as time went on, they couldn't have been further from the truth.
"Maybe the Mayor should have tipped the fortune teller better, some later wondered, because, well... People began getting zombified." He raises his voice, suddenly full of vigor. There is a fire in his golden, glittering eyes which have a renewed focus, a sharp intelligence clinging to the edge of sanity. "You heard me, they turned into zombies!"
The cat-man coughs into his one paw, as if suddenly feeling choked, eyes closing to slits that gleam in the darkness, "I'm not kidding!" More of the black liquid can be seen, should anyone be there with him that is, on the cat-man's paws, which he hastily wipes away discreetly on the seat next to him as if embarrassed by his behavior.
"It's true!" He continues to himself, though he suddenly loses his lucidity once more, gazing blindly out the window into the night. His mouth droops open lazily for a few minutes as the rumbling of the train fills the silence. More of the black liquid drips onto the front of his already soiled dark green travel suit.
"Don't walk away..." He says slowly in a quiet whimper, "I'm not done with the story!" There is no one else there with him. The train rattles on, unhindered, in the darkness.
"They, and by 'they' I mean those science-minded research-oriented types, found out through careful study of this new illness spreading around town that fruit and ocean fish turned the citizens into zombies if they ate them, and that's how the plague had begun to spread. This happened shortly after the fishing tournament in which the Mayor only got third place (What rotten luck!) Apparently that river fish he caught wasn't so much 'river fish' as 'plague-wielding-monster-bass' that crawled out of the depths of the ocean to putter up the river. And yes, I do mean crawled, as many citizens reported the thing had legs on it! Guess no one should have eaten it, huh? The guy that ate it was a migrant worker in charge of the tournament, whom got sick first. He also worked for the Mayor as a fruit picker, and he got it all over the fruit trees too! (What rotten luck!) Oranges were this town's best export!"
The cat begins to laugh uncontrollably for no discernible reason, reflective eyes largely bulging and glowing eerily, "You'd think it would be cheese, wouldn't it? Well you'd think wrong!" The laughter dies down and he looks around the cabin contemplatively.
"So, zombies. You know what zombies are, right? They began as people, or I guess Animals, until they started shuffling their feet slowly, aimlessly wandering around town. They could be seen holding odd objects at all hours of the day and night. Making illogical requests of others, usually of the Mayor himself, and trading old smelly shirts to each other for expensive pieces of art or furniture. Funny thing is they thought they were getting good deals, too! Cognitive function seemed to be lacking in those types. They were falling down often, with slowed reflexes (especially around bees) coupled with bulging eyes, odd verbal tics, and poor decor or fashion sense being the usual initial indicators of zombification setting in. What else was it... It's on the tip of my fangs... I know this part... Oh, and forgetfulness. That, and a craving for fruit or fish. Hmm... I'm awfully hungry right now, fish kinda sounds good. I had some a few days ago too, wonderful flavor, ate it raw! Sushi! Oh, right, my story, sorry! Anyways, after this was announced via the billboard, there was an uproar and citizen satisfaction dropped to around thirty percent. It was terrible. Though to the Mayor it was just another day in the town of Cheese." The cat shrugs the shoulder that is missing an arm, making more of the dark liquid pour out. If anyone were near him, they'd wonder where it keeps coming from as no physical body should be able to house as much liquid as this one has already lost.
"But the mayor kicked it into gear, and satisfaction rose high. He got a new flag, a new anthem, made the rounds around the town to raise everyone's spirits, started some building projects, that he did. Ineffectual, of course, but it got people interested. Raised his approval rating which is always important in elections. Then he announced his game plan."
Here, the train's cabin passes by a row of partially lit lamps, many of which appear to be broken or simply unlit for some reason. The cat stops talking to take a quick look at his paw, noticing something is amiss as the cabin lights up. Seeing there is something dark on his paw, he hastily licks it off, the residue drying in the stale air. A passing lamp illuminates his face, his dark blue fur, the ghost-white shine of his sharp fang, and his coat punctuated with black splotches of the same unknown substance, gleaming unnaturally in the temporary light.
Finishing with his impromptu bath, he continues, the flicker of the lamps punctuating his every other sentence, "The Mayor posted that people not yet infected could find safe shelter in the Mayor's manor... He made the mistake of posting this message on the billboard, but by the time he realized it it was far, far too late. Oh no, I had forgotten that at this point in time, he'd lost the key to the manor because the zombies can read the billboard! Smart, those zombies. They managed to steal it. Still...they got it out of the hidey-hole! So then, everyone went hiding out in a shelter under the train bridge, which may have involved several stolen tents from Nook's shop if I'm remembering it correctly. Poor Timmy and Tommy's business the 'Nookling Junction' never recovered after that... though no one really cared as they were some of the first citizens to be zombified... so yeah, even I helped loot the place. It might have even been intentional due to their constant overpricing of frequently requested items. But whose to say?" His grin intensifies to something that would look purely demonic and out of place on a mild mannered cat like himself. There is no one there to notice.
"The message being passed along in code on the billboard that there was no safe food left to eat in town struck fear in the hearts of the locals... except for turnips! I'm so sick of those turnips. If I have to eat another turnip I swear I'll die. There were people coming into town selling turnips, which kinda saved the day, so to speak... if only they didn't cost so very, very much. And taste so very, very bad." At this he frowns, his visible ear folding.
"The price of turnips had skyrocketed, because they're now the only thing anyone can eat in town," He shakes his head back and forth sadly, tail twitching as his back.
"The new project to build a bridge in town was met with approval by the citizens who still hadn't zombified, because let's face it, one more way to cross that river quickly means less time being chewed on by shuffling zombies that tended to live on the other side and had an aversion to crossing water. I always though that was vampires but eh, details. I voted for it, and paid out of my own pocket too! The other residents started pouring their money into the Mayor's pockets for the newest addition. They didn't even question the odd manner of collecting the funds! Well, there was that one tired old owl who claimed the Mayor was so stingy that he never, ever, ever, donated any of the valuable fossils he'd had him assess... but still...
"Until someone new came to town, passed right into the town by sitting in that very seat you're in, too!" The cat snickers, gesturing with one dripping stumpy leg at a vacant seat before him. "She was a hip young human woman named "Carrot" who figured out the dastardly plot! Yes, like I hinted at earlier, there was a dastardly plot! I like that word, 'dastardly.' Sounds evil. Well, it was evil. Hehe!" He wraps his paw around his belly, doubled over and giggling at his own amusement. His hat falls off and clatters to the floor, absorbing the black liquid pooled there into its dark green fabric. There is a chunk missing from the ear that is now uncovered, as if someone had taken a bite out of it. "She did some thorough research and, one could say after 'borrowing' that shovel from the Nooklings, she really 'dug deep' yes, I'm intending a pun here. She donated a ton of fossils to the museum to the hooting applause of its owner for all that effort, too. Hehe, hooting. I slay myself." He looks down, noticing his hat is now out of reach, but ignores it for the time being.
"While looking up on the town and the new Mayor she discovered the ridiculous prices on housing may have had something to do with this whole dilemma. Dunno how she got that answer by digging up ancient history, but to each her own. No one could blame Nook himself for that though as it was simply standard in his business, home loans and all that, of course." He makes a sour face, here, since there's nothing that can be done about that.
"It turns out this was all an evil plot by the new Mayor, whom she outed as a fake based on letters written to him by the REAL mayor, (rest his soul as no one ever discovered his real whereabouts) the proof of which he'd hidden in his dresser! He did this all intentionally to increase the price of turnips, according to the town's newest resident. She really must be a good detective, that Carrot. They should make her in charge of the police station. I bet she'd discover who all those lost items belong to! Bet she could! The Mayor usually took those for himself, actually. Right, anyways, it was a get rich quick scheme! The Mayor had been trying and trying to pay off his ridiculously high home loans! If only I'd have thought of it first... It will take me years to pay off all those bells... er, ahem. Of course I wouldn't, what do you take me for, a con-cat? Honestly." He glowers angrily at nothing, ears twitching violently.
"So, after all of this fiasco, the Mayor threatened to leave town with all the turnips once his evil deeds were outed. He claimed there was no cure for the zombification. They'd developed it in secret on a special island off the coast, then infected the population intentionally, so 'Good luck to all!' was all he had to say on that matter. He was last actually seen by Reese leaving Re-Tail with a bag full of goods he didn't pay for! (Of course no one living in the town really asked him if he'd brought that bag of goods into the store himself...he did tend to sell a lot of overpriced stuff! What, I'm playing devil's advocate here, just go with it.)
"So...yeah. The town fell into chaos, and drastic measures needed to be taken. The temporary and self appointed "Shadow Mayor", a handsome musclebound ape named Peewee, was not amused. 'Shadow Mayor' Peewee began a witch hunt involving everyone that wasn't infected. At all hours of the night and day they began to hunt down the Mayor. Even Jack got involved, and I swear, that pumpkin-headed phantom is kinda creepily happy about the whole thing so long as he gets his candy. Ahem. Anyone seen shuffling around town with a shovel (unless they happened to be named 'Carrot,' as she was single-handedly supplying the museum with interesting artifacts and woe to those whom would get in that girl's way when she was on a role... You'd be safer shaking trees and running from bees, I tell you!) Anyways they were probably out for the mayor's blood... Unless they have an odd catchphrase they can't stop saying, then, well... shuffling or not they're the unfortunate infected of the zombie hoard. Actually, all the zombies shuffled, so... yeah, moot point. Why am I going on about shuffling? Hm. I do a lot of that lately." He says, staring down at his missing feet, still dripping the black liquid that had long since began to dry in a puddle under his chair.
"A bunch of residents claimed buying a talisman from the fortune teller could prevent any bad things from happening to you, but that just resulted in a lot of zombies carrying around pretty, overpriced necklaces. I even bought one myself, and it's kept me pretty much unsafe this entire time. Huh, maybe she was selling 'bad luck charms.' She did actually call them 'luck charms' and didn't qualify it with a type. I'm the one who assumed they were 'good luck charms' so I should have looked into that before purchasing. Buyer beware. That's a few hundred bells I'll never get back.
"The Mayor left one final message on the billboard, but it's garbled and hastily scrawled words were cut off abruptly, and a red streak of some ghastly unidentifiable substance was sprayed across the sign. No one has seen or heard from the Mayor since. From what the town's folk that still survived this apocalypse claimed, no one really wanted to. Er, except the Shadow Mayor, whom was still out for the real Mayor- er I mean, proven-fake-by-Carrot-Mayor's blood. Everyone else in the witch hunt kinda gave up and began farming for turnips. People, they get hungry, ya know?"
The train putters to a screeching halt at an empty, expansive train station. The cat is jostled in his seat as it finally stops. His hat rolls within his reach again so he picks it up casually. The train station is rife with signs of disuse, and there are no lights on in the building. Shadows are moving within however, between the slim slivers of moonlight peeking through the windows to flutter against the walls as if on their own, grey outlines on a backdrop of darkness. It is indiscernible what is causing these shadows.
"This is my stop, and yours too. This train? Sorry, but I heard them, that they didn't tell you when you got on. The announcer, and the guy conducting it, have been zombies for the longest time. They tend to forget things like that. So, yeah, it's one way. Never moving again," He says sadly into the supposedly empty darkness before him, smiling with those devilish feline fangs protruding once more. He looks back to the empty seat as if he can see someone sitting there, and continues, "Welcome to Hell. Guess what? This town, it's the one formerly known as 'Cheese'. That's right, the very one I just told you about! What, you didn't want to go there and got on by accident!? Oh, no! I'm so sorry for you! This is your home now, though. You're one of us. We don't get visitors anymore. That's why they're closing down the trains. For the public's safety, of course. The entire town has succumbed to the zombification. Even the turnips turn you now... yeah, you've been talking to a zombie this whole time. How's it feel?"
He absentmindedly turns the hat in circles in his hands while staring intently at the seat before him as if listening to something with a careful ear, "Why are you freaking out?"
"...You ate one? Of course you did, the conductor handed you a plate of them as you got on. I saw. You said: 'Thanks, I was starving!' I do remember that part! It's pretty much standard procedure with new residents. But it's OK! It won't hurt. You'll like it. Zombies, we're immortal." Here he gives the air a sly grin, waving his dripping stumps as if to emphasize the point. "You're in luck, my friend, *****. What? Who is *****? Don't you remember? That's you, silly. Yes, that's your name! And this town- Here's the fun part- You get to name it again!"
He puts the hat on his head, once more covering the damaged ear, nodding as if assessing something before him, "You've got your work cut out for you. It will unfortunately never be what it once was, anymore. We're not allowed to export our oranges, ya know? A shame, it really is. But more for us, now. And the fish are all walled off from leaving these waters, too. But they're tasty and breed fast."
He rises to stand, shuffling carefully on his leaking stumps, "So, what will you name it, you ask? Why, anything you want! Why you? Well, of course, *****, isn't it obvious?" Bowing with a sweeping flourish of his curly tail, but holding his hat to his head with his one good paw, he gives a toothy grin and looks up at the vacant darkness, "You're the new Mayor!"